How should I take this? What do you think?

[gravityeyelids]

Thanks for the advice guys! I do appreciate it! Sorry I didn't know it was a site geared for guys lol. But really the assumptions about me are absurd. Some of you fellas sound like you just generally hate women, and this site it a way to get your anger out and I am just a target. Thanks anyways to the guys that gave advice.

Some people on this forum DO generally hate women....but pretty much every thing on this thread is just us being pretty honest and straightforward. We talk the same way to each other. Hard love is usually the only way to pound the nonsense out of someone's head and get them to think straight.

 

[xxJuliexx]

Some people on this forum DO generally hate women....but pretty much every thing on this thread is just us being pretty honest and straightforward. We talk the same way to each other. Hard love is usually the only way to pound the nonsense out of someone's head and get them to think straight.

Yeah! I understand! Sometimes you do have to be brutally honest for reality to hit people in the face. I do appreciate the advice on here, I just know that some of these fellas kinda have a hatred for women and I felt that I was targeted cause I am a woman, and this is a site for men, lol. But it's cool. Thank you.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Has no one else noticed that the guy in question sounds like a douche? Crying, saying "I love you," telling people he's her bf when he isn't, awkward public hugs. All of that is insecure, childish behavior. That's why she didn't want to be with him.

Obviously, both of them are just kids, but she sounds a lot more mature than him.

 

[VikingKing]

Has no one else noticed that the guy in question sounds like a douche? Crying, saying "I love you," telling people he's her bf when he isn't, awkward public hugs. All of that is insecure, childish behavior. That's why she didn't want to be with him.

Obviously, both of them are just kids, but she sounds a lot more mature than him.

Yeah. He sounds like it.

Awkward public hugs. I just thought that was funny.

But seems like whats going on here is she is getting hooked in by drama, push and pull.

 

[VikingKing]

double pooossstt

 

[Kailex]

Has no one else noticed that the guy in question sounds like a douche? Crying, saying "I love you," telling people he's her bf when he isn't, awkward public hugs. All of that is insecure, childish behavior. That's why she didn't want to be with him.

Obviously, both of them are just kids, but she sounds a lot more mature than him.

"Like" a douche? He sounds completely like a douche, but the fact that she won't even realize that and is still contemplating what to feel about him is next-level bonkers.

She says she doesn't like drama but the WHOLE situation has been nothing but drama since Day 1.

All because he can drop in and out of NC. It confuses her, but yet, it excites her. He goes from neediness to not giving a flying crap... but she's still considering it.

I'd say the situation is almost sick, but still, she's considering it.

It's much akin to women posting on PoF that they are tired of games, and yet, they will welcome the games and drama at the drop of the hat. Drama is at the center of emotionality for most women... for them to say that they don't like drama, what they mean is they don't like it when they can't control it... which is exactly what Sir Douche is doing, HE is controlling the drama, so SHE doesn't like it. But yet, she's compelled to him.

Her worry isn't EVERYTHING else that she's posted... it's just that he seems to be a player. The emotion overrides the logic for her. No drama? Yeah, right.

Anyone with a rational sense of thinking would have NEXTed this guy long ago...food for thought.

 

[xxJuliexx]

Has no one else noticed that the guy in question sounds like a douche? Crying, saying "I love you," telling people he's her bf when he isn't, awkward public hugs. All of that is insecure, childish behavior. That's why she didn't want to be with him.

Obviously, both of them are just kids, but she sounds a lot more mature than him.

Yeah, I know. I think what also came into mind is that I didn't want to "abandon" him cause he was abandoned by people throughout his life (I can see why though) And I guess I didn't want to be one of those people that would abandon him. Cause even though he had a tough exterior, I thought deep down though that was a defense mechanism to protect himself cause he had so much emotional abuse and sometimes physical abuse growing up cause both of his parent were Alcoholics so they were pretty cruel with him.

I felt bad, and I thought I would be a good friend to him, and I think that is another reason why I won't let go. However, I haven't spoke to him. I am trying to cut him out of my life, cause I realize he is no good to have in my life weather it's platonic or not. I have done alot for him, and helped him out in situations. Nobody else has done what I done, and I didn't judge him at all what he did in his life. I proved I was a good friend, but he chose to pop in and out of my life and not stay a consistent friend. It sucks cause I do have emotional attachment to him and I really had a connection, but I knew what's right and that is to let him go and cut him out. It was too soon to see him at the party. I am in the process of cutting him out and it's forced cause I don't want to, but I know I have to, so it was too soon, I knew it would make the emotions resurface about him, and if I would have known he was going to be at that party I wouldn't have gone. I would've gone somewhere else, but my brother was my designated driver, cause I was drunk, and my brother didn't want to leave. Maybe if I saw him 6 months down the road or something, that would be one thing but I saw him way too soon in the process of cutting him out. I see what you mean though. Also I am 20, and he is 27, and now that I think of it, it does sound like high school, lol. What's pathetic about all of this is that he is 27 years old. But thank you for commenting!

 

[xxJuliexx]

"Like" a douche? He sounds completely like a douche, but the fact that she won't even realize that and is still contemplating what to feel about him is next-level bonkers.

She says she doesn't like drama but the WHOLE situation has been nothing but drama since Day 1.

All because he can drop in and out of NC. It confuses her, but yet, it excites her. He goes from neediness to not giving a flying crap... but she's still considering it.

I'd say the situation is almost sick, but still, she's considering it.

It's much akin to women posting on PoF that they are tired of games, and yet, they will welcome the games and drama at the drop of the hat. Drama is at the center of emotionality for most women... for them to say that they don't like drama, what they mean is they don't like it when they can't control it... which is exactly what Sir Douche is doing, HE is controlling the drama, so SHE doesn't like it. But yet, she's compelled to him.

Her worry isn't EVERYTHING else that she's posted... it's just that he seems to be a player. The emotion overrides the logic for her. No drama? Yeah, right.

Anyone with a rational sense of thinking would have NEXTed this guy long ago...food for thought.

You're right anybody else would've NEXTed him. He has abandonment issues and he was "abandoned" throughout his life, and I thought I would be one of those people that doesn't abandon him and I think that is why I put up with his crap. I tried to prove to him that I wouldn't be like everyone else and give up on him. But he fails to realize that, cause I have done so much for him. I have proven myself as a good friend, and he seems to not care obviously or not realize that I am a good friend, but I don't see how he doesn't see that. Then emotions and feelings started to develop and it put me in a confused frenzy. Cause I really liked him, but I knew not to go further cause of the fact he bounced in and out of my life, and I felt I could relate to him etc. In the same breath I didn't want to cut him out cause I thought I would be like everyone else, that cut him out. But now I realize that is the best thing to do. I am sorry if it seems like I am looking for attention or I love this drama, I just wanted to post about it, cause I can't talk about this to my friends cause I don't want it going back to him. You seem to know about women, then you know about gossip, lol. Yeah I think it's best to be on a forum about this, cause my friends would probably tell him. Also it is forced to cut him out of my life. I don't want to, but I have to. It's the right thing to do, and I know that, but I still like him so it's going to take some time. It was too soon to see him at that party. I am in the process of cutting him out. If I saw him maybe 6 months down the road everything might be splendid, but to see him so soon, made the emotions and feelings resurface. I didn't even want to be there but my brother was my sober designated driver and he didn't want to leave. I wasn't expecting him to be there, cause my friend who was throwing the party, said he has been fighting with him and that he was on the "outs" with him. So I assumed he wasn't going to be there, but I was wrong of course, and it through me in a confused frenzy again. Ugh..it's BS. I am not contacting him though, but I am actually looking at him as a enemy cause I feel like I can't go to my friend's parties anymore, cause he might be there. Now I feel like when I go to any of my friend's parties he might be there, always a chance, and I don't want to take that chance. So now I feel alot of anger towards him cause I feel like I can't go to some of these parties or I have to check with someone and see who all is there. It's BS. But yeah that's the issue. I understand what you are saying, but if I really did like drama, then I would try and go to parties where he's at, but I am actually trying to avoid places where he is at. And like I said I am kinda viewing him as a enemy now, cause I feel like I have to check and make sure who all is at the party before I go to one, just to make sure HE is NOT there. Thank you for your input.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Women tend to be drawn to a man they see as "a project." They want to "fix" him. Maybe it's an instinct to mother. I certainly don't think men have it.

For all of the how to get girls advice on sosuave, I haven't seen any "project game." The next time a girl is interested in me, I'm going for the frame that I have so much potential, but also have all these problems holding me back. If only the right woman came along, maybe she could fix me

 

[xxJuliexx]

Women tend to be drawn to a man they see as "a project." They want to "fix" him. Maybe it's an instinct to mother. I certainly don't think men have it.

For all of the how to get girls advice on sosuave, I haven't seen any "project game." The next time a girl is interested in me, I'm going for the frame that I have so much potential, but also have all these problems holding me back. If only the right woman came along, maybe she could fix me

Yeah, I notice us stupid women tend to be drawn to douchebags that we think we can "fix" or "help" and that is what I was practically doing. And I was giving this dingus many chances lol. Hahahahahaa! Please don't play that game! Lmao! it's torturous, unless the woman isn't like me, then I guess you're good Lol.

 

[thunder_god]

Yeah, I notice us stupid women tend to be drawn to douchebags that we think we can "fix" or "help" and that is what I was practically doing. And I was giving this dingus many chances lol. Hahahahahaa! Please don't play that game! Lmao! it's torturous, unless the woman isn't like me, then I guess you're good Lol.

How exactly did you give him many chances when you rejected him multiple times?

 

[j.619]

This thread is becoming brain damage.

 

[xxJuliexx]

How exactly did you give him many chances when you rejected him multiple times?

I rejected him, but when I agreed to go out with him that one time, he blew it. Also we did hang out with each other just not one on one, but with friends. When we were with friends, I would give him subtle hints to basically ask me out and he wouldn't fall for it. Then I tried to become close to him but everytime we got close he vanished. Everytime he would bring me to the point of me wanting it to go further or telling my feelings to him, he would disappear. In my head I felt those were chances, if he really felt anything towards me, and I guess I thought those were opportunities for him to go forward. I think though I am the type of person that the guy has to take action, haha. Cause I am too shy. I never am the first one to do anything it's always the guy. It's not because I am a female and I think that guys should do all the work, and because that is how us women were raised in this society, etc. It's honestly cause I am shy. Otherwise, I would take the plunge and just ask him out, or kiss him etc. Haha, but yeah that's what I mean.

 

[xxJuliexx]

This thread is becoming brain damage.

Oh stop it, you negative nancy! Haha

 

[narcissist]

This thread is becoming brain damage.

AHAHAHA I spit my water out when I read that :crazy:

 

[gravityeyelids]

Women tend to be drawn to a man they see as "a project." They want to "fix" him. Maybe it's an instinct to mother. I certainly don't think men have it.

For all of the how to get girls advice on sosuave, I haven't seen any "project game." The next time a girl is interested in me, I'm going for the frame that I have so much potential, but also have all these problems holding me back. If only the right woman came along, maybe she could fix me

I've noticed that this is actually a thing that draws women to some men. Haha I like your term for it...."Project Game". Someone should write some material up on that.

They find a broken or bad boy and feel the need to try to repair him. I think it can actually be an attractive characteristic to let her know you are flawed to some degree. I feel like it's better if it's something that is "not really your fault". For example, if you were abused as a child or your parent(s) died at a young age or whatever.

Now obviously something like you just being lazy or mean is not an attractive thing...But I think something along the lines of Bender from the Breakfast Club. He's got the whole "i dont give a fvck" attitude going on, mainly because of his abusive, alcoholic father. He's jaded and a bit mean because he's been beaten down by the world, and that makes him kind of a rebel and a bada$$.

Woman want to "fix" change a guy into what they want, and guys want their precious girls to stay the same.

 

[narcissist]

You're just a run of the mill attention wh0re that only wants what she cant have. This guy is one of those damaged emo guys that gets laid a lot but cries a lot too, possibly Cluster B male.

Pretty spot on analysis

 

[thunder_god]

I rejected him, but when I agreed to go out with him that one time, he blew it. Also we did hang out with each other just not one on one, but with friends. When we were with friends, I would give him subtle hints to basically ask me out and he wouldn't fall for it. Then I tried to become close to him but everytime we got close he vanished. Everytime he would bring me to the point of me wanting it to go further or telling my feelings to him, he would disappear. In my head I felt those were chances, if he really felt anything towards me, and I guess I thought those were opportunities for him to go forward. I think though I am the type of person that the guy has to take action, haha. Cause I am too shy. I never am the first one to do anything it's always the guy. It's not because I am a female and I think that guys should do all the work, and because that is how us women were raised in this society, etc. It's honestly cause I am shy. Otherwise, I would take the plunge and just ask him out, or kiss him etc. Haha, but yeah that's what I mean.

So you rejected the guy multiple times and agreed to go out on one date and you call that a real chance? Maybe he had a bad day or something or he got nervous, who knows. Hell if I got rejected by a girl multiple times I wouldn't bother asking her out again neither. Since you rejected him all those times, the onus is now on you, not him. He's already done his job and you blew him off. Just because your shy, that means its automatically his job to continue to ask you out and chase you? Hell I bet he's just as shy if not more so as well, but at least he tried multiple times.

Anyways the past is the past. If you truly want to move on either by going out with him or moving on without him, here's what you do. You either go up to him in person, call him, or text him and ask him out. If your too shy or scared or whatever, then do it over the phone and text. If he says no, you got closure and can move on. If he says yes, then congrats, you now got a date. Problem solved. This thread is now pointless. You already received the advice that's required to remedy the situation.

 

[Skyline]

This guy sounds like an AFC-feminine-loser. Don't waste your time on some pandering beta, its harsh, but find someone more in tune with his masculine side.

 

[xxJuliexx]

So you rejected the guy multiple times and agreed to go out on one date and you call that a real chance? Maybe he had a bad day or something or he got nervous, who knows. Hell if I got rejected by a girl multiple times I wouldn't bother asking her out again neither. Since you rejected him all those times, the onus is now on you, not him. He's already done his job and you blew him off. Just because your shy, that means its automatically his job to continue to ask you out and chase you? Hell I bet he's just as shy if not more so as well, but at least he tried multiple times.

Anyways the past is the past. If you truly want to move on either by going out with him or moving on without him, here's what you do. You either go up to him in person, call him, or text him and ask him out. If your too shy or scared or whatever, then do it over the phone and text. If he says no, you got closure and can move on. If he says yes, then congrats, you now got a date. Problem solved. This thread is now pointless. You already received the advice that's required to remedy the situation.

True! I understand. I appreciate everyones advice. You made valid points.