How should I take this? What do you think?

[xxJuliexx]

Ok my guy friend has asked me out when I first knew him but he stopped asking me out cause I would reject him. He always confessed his love for me. He even would get jealous about guys all the time, to the point where he would mock them, insult them etc. He would say "You are too good for him" and he said when he was drunk one time to a guy "Back off dude she's MY girl". Then he disappears on me. He pulls this disappearing act and it's really confusing cause when he sees me he acts like he is so in love with me and he even acts like my boyfriend even my friends said that, and then when I am comfortable enough with him to go further he disappears on me and then I don't hear form him from weeks to months and then he will randomly pop back into my life again. It's the same repeated cycle, and I think it's because I am not important to him. My friends think differently they said "What is he suppose to do? you never reciprocate to him, when he says he loves you, you never say it back. When he flirts you never flirt nor do you ever go out with him, you reject all the time and you are too reserved with your emotions, you seem disinterested in him" That is also a good point so I am confused.

So I am trying to cut him out of my life cause I am sick of the disappearing acts, and then I go to a party with my brother and what do you know? He was there! He was staring at me so I started talking to other people then he said to me "Are you drunk?" I said "No" when I really was haha. Then he started to talk to my brother and then he said to me "Why did you post a pic of yourself at a bar?" He said it in a mad voice. I said "Oh it was a joke" then he said "You're bizarre" First of all it wasn't a bad pic. It was me, some random dude and my friend holding our drinks up and I made a goofy face but it wasn't an obscene pic so I don't know why he was so bothered by it. Then my brother was saying he had to pick me up from a friend's house and he said "Where?" in a mad voice. Then he quickly leaves and as he is saying goodbye to everyone he looks at me with a sad look and he gives me a real tight hug lol. It was awkward cause he did this in front of everyone.

My question is though why does he care if he always pulls the disappearing act on me? Why is he so possessive and jealous? Is he playing games with me? What does this sound like to you? Give me your honest opinion! Thank you so much!

 

[thunder_god]

GTFO. You continue to play games with him and then expect him to always be chasing you and remain there for you. If I was in his shoes, I would have told you to go take a hike and never contacted you again after playing all these childish games and went and dated someone else who actually appreciates my times and effort.

 

[gravityeyelids]

Why are you even asking about him on this site if you've rejected him and seemingly aren't interested? Just curiosity? ooooOOOooOOOoooo....I think you liiiiiiiiike hiiiiiim

 

[xxJuliexx]

Why are you even asking about him on this site if you've rejected him and seemingly aren't interested? Just curiosity? ooooOOOooOOOoooo....I think you liiiiiiiiike hiiiiiim

I do like him. I like him alot. I am sorry I didn't specify in my post the reasons why I rejected him. I was hearing from people that he was in a relationship with this girl, and according to him they weren't so I didn't know who to believe. Then he called me up crying a few months later saying his ex found another guy so that put me on the fence too, cause it's like why do you care? Obviously then you were with her! So it made me not really trust him but I like him so it was very confusing. Then he acted like he was dating this other girl and he would always deny it to me. When other people have said that him and this other girl have been dating. Again he was denying it to me, and I didn't know who to believe but it was pretty believable that he was dating this other girl cause he would put her up as his "Woman Crush Wednesday" all the time on Instagram. It was hard to trust him but yet I like him. I don't know it's complicated, but I didn't reject him in a mean way, it was only cause I thought he was being a player, and I thought he was just looking for someone to cheat on his girl with and I didn't want to be in that tangled mess. Thanks for commenting!

 

[VladPatton]

This Is Gonna Be One Of Those Long Threads

He's just done with you, that's all. What else did you think was going to happen if you don't go out with him or reciprocate some sort of affection? We know you women looooooove to be chased, but not all guys are chumps to do that, and many will fück off early on. In fact, we advise that heavily on this forum, and 99% of us would of Nexted you within 2 weeks of meeting you. There is no shortage of cute women.

So...

Most likely, he found a girl that's into him and a better overall deal (yes, even if he didn't tell you!).

 

[xxJuliexx]

He's just done with you, that's all. What else did you think was going to happen if you don't go out with him or reciprocate some sort of affection? We know you women looooooove to be chased, but not all guys are chumps to do that, and many will fück off early on. In fact, we advise that heavily on this forum, and 99% of us would of Nexted you within 2 weeks of meeting you. There is no shortage of cute women.

So...

Most likely, he found a girl that's into him and a better overall deal (yes, even if he didn't tell you!).

I guess I thought we could be friends. I helped him out alot and showed how much of a good friend I am. I was there for him when nobody else was. I thought that we could always be good friends. I have trust issues, so it does take time for me to trust someone fully. When he gets me to the point of being comfortable with him to tell him my feelings (cause I do like him) he vanishes and disappears. Because of those incidents it makes it harder and harder for me to trust him, yet I still like him though. I am giving him way too many chances and he keeps blowing it cause he gets me to the point where I am going to dish my feelings to him and then POOF! He's gone and I don't hear from him from weeks to months, and then he randomly pops back into my life again and it's the same old song and dance. He doesn't give it enough time to develop into something more. Unless he feels that we're friends and we don't have to take time to develop the relationship and just move past all of that. But that's another thing there are some things he does that indicates a player and then there are some things he does that indicates he wants a relationship, so he is kinda conflicted, and I don't understand what he wants.

Also yes he kept denying the women he was going out with, and I didn't want to be involved in that. I am not that type anyways. As you can see I am conflicted myself and it's hard for me to let go for some reason. I like him but yet I don't trust him, so I have no idea, but I wasn't doing it all for the attention or because of the chase. I just honestly have trust issues and that is why it's hard for me to move forward with him. Thanks for commenting!

 

[thunder_god]

I guess I thought we could be friends. I helped him out alot and showed how much of a good friend I am. I was there for him when nobody else was. I thought that we could always be good friends. I have trust issues, so it does take time for me to trust someone fully. When he gets me to the point of being comfortable with him to tell him my feelings (cause I do like him) he vanishes and disappears. Because of those incidents it makes it harder and harder for me to trust him, yet I still like him though. I am giving him way too many chances and he keeps blowing it cause he gets me to the point where I am going to dish my feelings to him and then POOF! He's gone and I don't hear from him from weeks to months, and then he randomly pops back into my life again and it's the same old song and dance. He doesn't give it enough time to develop into something more. Unless he feels that we're friends and we don't have to take time to develop the relationship and just move past all of that. But that's another thing there are some things he does that indicates a player and then there are some things he does that indicates he wants a relationship, so he is kinda conflicted, and I don't understand what he wants.

Also yes he kept denying the women he was going out with, and I didn't want to be involved in that. I am not that type anyways. As you can see I am conflicted myself and it's hard for me to let go for some reason. I like him but yet I don't trust him, so I have no idea, but I wasn't doing it all for the attention or because of the chase. I just honestly have trust issues and that is why it's hard for me to move forward with him. Thanks for commenting!

Look, if you really like him as you claim, then it shouldn't be a problem for you to call him/text him or whatever and tell him you like him and want to go out on a date with him. Its as simple as that. Us guys are pretty direct. If we like someone we go for them. We don't play any of these bs games because we know it will only ruin our chances of getting together. This will help avoid any future drama/problems. If he says no, then time to move on.

 

[Kailex]

Ok my guy friend has asked me out when I first knew him but he stopped asking me out cause I would reject him.

This all could have been avoided if you had just said "Yes" from the beginning. The games you women play... but once we don't fall in line, you wonder "Why!?".

The timeline could have been completely different if you didn't think you could just string him along.

How about this, the next time he pops back in, tell him that you either want to go out with him or you don't want to see him again, but you obviously keep him around in some type of involvement. Realize that you are part of the problem as well.

 

[xxJuliexx]

This all could have been avoided if you had just said "Yes" from the beginning. The games you women play... but once we don't fall in line, you wonder "Why!?".

The timeline could have been completely different if you didn't think you could just string him along.

How about this, the next time he pops back in, tell him that you either want to go out with him or you don't want to see him again, but you obviously keep him around in some type of involvement. Realize that you are part of the problem as well.

I understand. He is very confusing though. There are some things he does that indicates a player to me and then there are some things he does that indicates he wants a relationship. I just don't want to get hurt. He told me I was his "Soulmate" which I think is BS cause I don't believe in that, but I saw him on Facebook say it to another girl, so that tells me right there that he is player, cause if he can freely use that word then that is really bad. But then my friends are like "He was drunk and he knew that girl for years he was joking around. He said it to you sober and serious." That is also a good point but still I like him, I just don't know what to think of him. Thank you for commenting! I appreciate it.

 

[AttackFormation]

My question is though why does he care if he always pulls the disappearing act on me? Why is he so possessive and jealous? Is he playing games with me? What does this sound like to you? Give me your honest opinion! Thank you so much!

What does it sound like to me? sounds like you're either a guy posing as a girl and trying to see the reaction you get from the forum, or you're a typical girl who lives and breathes this bullsh!t drama.

There are two reasons why a guy would come on to you: he wants something from you or he wants to f*ck you. In your case because of his AFC behaviour, I'd say it's obvious he wants to f*ck you. So, do you want to f*ck him? if yes, f*ck him. If no, tell him to move on to a girl who wants him the next time he comes on to you and make no contact with him.

If you're too stupid to understand that he will keep coming on to you if you tell him you still want to be friends when he is AFC and wants to f*ck you (which I'm assuming you are because you said so) then blame yourself. He didn't next you the first time you tried to string him along and waste his time but he does have a girl he dates on the side, so I wouldn't say he's a complete lost case. It's also obvious you don't really want this to end because if you did you would be asking how you can get this guy to move on, not asking questions like "do you think he cares about me? is he playing games? why is he so possessive?". That's your hamster spinning, feeding off the drama.

Thanks for posting what you think though, if you actually are a girl. It's useful to be reminded that the female hamster wheel really exists, because that's what your posts are.

 

[j.619]

What does it sound like to me? sounds like you're either a guy posing as a girl and trying to see the reaction you get from the forum, or you're a typical girl who lives and breathes this bullsh!t drama.

There are two reasons why a guy would come on to you: he wants something from you or he wants to f*ck you. In your case because of his AFC behaviour, I'd say it's obvious he wants to f*ck you. So, do you want to f*ck him? if yes, f*ck him. If no, tell him to move on to a girl who wants him the next time he comes on to you and make no contact with him.

If you're too stupid to understand that he will keep coming on to you if you tell him you still want to be friends when he is AFC and wants to f*ck you (which I'm assuming you are because you said so) then blame yourself. He didn't next you the first time you tried to string him along and waste his time but he does have a girl he dates on the side, so I wouldn't say he's a complete lost case. It's also obvious you don't really want this to end because if you did you would be asking how you can get this guy to move on, not asking questions like "do you think he cares about me? is he playing games? why is he so possessive?". That's your hamster spinning, feeding off the drama.

Thanks for posting what you think though, if you actually are a girl. It's useful to be reminded that the female hamster wheel really exists, because that's what your posts are.

+1 for a no-frills, no bullsh!t answer. /thread

 

[xxJuliexx]

What does it sound like to me? sounds like you're either a guy posing as a girl and trying to see the reaction you get from the forum, or you're a typical girl who lives and breathes this bullsh!t drama.

There are two reasons why a guy would come on to you: he wants something from you or he wants to f*ck you. In your case because of his AFC behaviour, I'd say it's obvious he wants to f*ck you. So, do you want to f*ck him? if yes, f*ck him. If no, tell him to move on to a girl who wants him the next time he comes on to you and make no contact with him.

If you're too stupid to understand that he will keep coming on to you if you tell him you still want to be friends when he is AFC and wants to f*ck you (which I'm assuming you are because you said so) then blame yourself. He didn't next you the first time you tried to string him along and waste his time but he does have a girl he dates on the side, so I wouldn't say he's a complete lost case. It's also obvious you don't really want this to end because if you did you would be asking how you can get this guy to move on, not asking questions like "do you think he cares about me? is he playing games? why is he so possessive?". That's your hamster spinning, feeding off the drama.

Thanks for posting what you think though, if you actually are a girl. It's useful to be reminded that the female hamster wheel really exists, because that's what your posts are.

I am really a girl posting this. I am very conflicted myself cause I am not the type that is into having a **** buddy. I am more of the relationship type, so I am confused weather or not he would want a **** buddy or a relationship with me. Cause like I said he will do things that says to me "He's a player" and then there are things he does that says to me "He wants a girlfriend" But then he disappears from my life and then I don't get to build with him. He denied having a girlfriend to me, and my friends were telling he was dating a girl, so I do have feelings for him, but this whole girlfriend thing put me off cause I didn't know who to believe. It's weird cause he'll ask me weird future questions. He joked to my friends about marrying me, and then he lied to my dad and said he was dating me for the past 3 months. He has a child that is almost 2 years old, and he said to me in a serious tone like a month ago "Julie do you see yourself having a child or children in 2 years?" I said "No, cause I would be 23 years old" He just kept quiet and didn't say anything and I thought it was weird cause we weren't talking about children or anything remotely close to the subject of children. Then he'll tell me the girl he had sex with, and kinda act like a player, so that is what confuses me and I guess that is why I stayed friends with him. Cause I am trying to figure him out before I make my decision to either go out with him? Or cut him out? Cause I don't know how to take him. I am not into drama. I really am just conflicted. Thanks for commenting.

 

[gravityeyelids]

I am really a girl posting this. I am very conflicted myself cause I am not the type that is into having a **** buddy. I am more of the relationship type, so I am confused weather or not he would want a **** buddy or a relationship with me. Cause like I said he will do things that says to me "He's a player" and then there are things he does that says to me "He wants a girlfriend" But then he disappears from my life and then I don't get to build with him. He denied having a girlfriend to me, and my friends were telling he was dating a girl, so I do have feelings for him, but this whole girlfriend thing put me off cause I didn't know who to believe. It's weird cause he'll ask me weird future questions. He joked to my friends about marrying me, and then he lied to my dad and said he was dating me for the past 3 months. He has a child that is almost 2 years old, and he said to me in a serious tone like a month ago "Julie do you see yourself having a child or children in 2 years?" I said "No, cause I would be 23 years old" He just kept quiet and didn't say anything and I thought it was weird cause we weren't talking about children or anything remotely close to the subject of children. Then he'll tell me the girl he had sex with, and kinda act like a player, so that is what confuses me and I guess that is why I stayed friends with him. Cause I am trying to figure him out before I make my decision to either go out with him? Or cut him out? Cause I don't know how to take him. I am not into drama. I really am just conflicted. Thanks for commenting.

Just make a fvcking decision. At this point it's arbitrary. Flip a fvcking coin if that's what it takes. You're wasting your time trying to over-analyze this. Why don't you just go on a "date" with him once or twice and then see if you click with him? I would imagine if you hang out with him you would be able to see his intentions rather quickly. Not only that but you would be able to see if he's even worth wasting your time on. He sounds like a major chode to me personally.

You are the girl in this clip: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fpgj04Tp4rs&safe=active

 

[VikingKing]

I think you should all just stop responding. She is enjoying the attention. Unless she starts posting nudes, you all should kank the attention giving here. She got her answer.

 

[gravityeyelids]

I think you should all just stop responding. She is enjoying the attention. Unless she starts posting nudes, you all should kank the attention giving here. She got her answer.

Good call. T!ts or GTFO.

 

[xxJuliexx]

Is this a guys only type of a website? lol. I realized there is all dudes on here. Ooops sorry, thought this was just a love advice forum. You guys are sexist! And I am not enjoying any type of attention from guys on the internet. I was merely curious of other peoples opinions, you guys don't have to be rude and sexist it's ridiculous.

 

[GS750]

Is this a guys only type of a website? lol. I realized there is all dudes on here. Ooops sorry, thought this was just a love advice forum. You guys are sexist! And I am not enjoying any type of attention from guys on the internet. I was merely curious of other peoples opinions, you guys don't have to be rude and sexist it's ridiculous.

Yes...this is a "guys only type of website". However, you did get some decent advice here. Best of luck to you.

 

[Piers Nivens]

Is this a guys only type of a website? lol. I realized there is all dudes on here. Ooops sorry, thought this was just a love advice forum. You guys are sexist! And I am not enjoying any type of attention from guys on the internet. I was merely curious of other peoples opinions, you guys don't have to be rude and sexist it's ridiculous.

NUDES or GTFO!

 

[Kailex]

Dear God, help me, I am posting twice in this thread...
Listen, "dear"... read this.

I am really a girl posting this. I am very conflicted myself cause I am not the type that is into having a **** buddy. I am more of the relationship type, so I am confused weather or not he would want a **** buddy or a relationship with me. Cause like I said he will do things that says to me "He's a player" and then there are things he does that says to me "He wants a girlfriend" But then he disappears from my life and then I don't get to build with him. He denied having a girlfriend to me, and my friends were telling he was dating a girl, so I do have feelings for him, but this whole girlfriend thing put me off cause I didn't know who to believe. It's weird cause he'll ask me weird future questions. He joked to my friends about marrying me, and then he lied to my dad and said he was dating me for the past 3 months. He has a child that is almost 2 years old, and he said to me in a serious tone like a month ago "Julie do you see yourself having a child or children in 2 years?" I said "No, cause I would be 23 years old" He just kept quiet and didn't say anything and I thought it was weird cause we weren't talking about children or anything remotely close to the subject of children. Then he'll tell me the girl he had sex with, and kinda act like a player, so that is what confuses me and I guess that is why I stayed friends with him. Cause I am trying to figure him out before I make my decision to either go out with him? Or cut him out? Cause I don't know how to take him.

Whatever that cluster-eff of a jumbled message is, it's a damn MESS and you haven't even gone on a date with him. But look at what you write next.

I am not into drama. I really am just conflicted.

CONTRADICTION ALERT.
CONTRADICTION ALERT.
CONTRADICTION ALERT.

Clearly, you are into drama or this thread wouldn't exist. He gets your juices going because he can weave in and out like a ninja from the shadows. It excites you. Sure, you don't like drama... you don't like it when you can't control it but you LOVE DRAMA. Know why? Because you are "female"*. You are always going to enjoy the drama and the little circus show when it comes back into town.

This thread is testament to it.

You already have gotten valuable advice here. What else is there to say? Either find someone worth actually dating or hurry the BLUE HELL up and go out with this guy. It's. That. Easy.

Thanks for commenting.

You're welcome.




* - Verdict still out on that one.

 

[xxJuliexx]

Thanks for the advice guys! I do appreciate it! Sorry I didn't know it was a site geared for guys lol. But really the assumptions about me are absurd. Some of you fellas sound like you just generally hate women, and this site it a way to get your anger out and I am just a target. Thanks anyways to the guys that gave advice.