How should I approach this situation?

[Griever114]

Alright, so I am making my way through the DJb (damn good informative read but LONG!!) The past few weeks have been rather liberating realizing that I am in command of my life. Me as a MAN; I set the course of my life. I have actually TURNED DOWN dates lately since I felt the interest was just not up to "par.":rockon: That and I am putting my foot down, not jeopardizing my hobbies for some tail...

(the above is a STARK contrast to my previous behavior fyi)

Anyway, I am spinning about 4-5 plates right now. One in particular I was supposed to have a date on Friday. Mid-day i was told my job is taking us all out, to further my career i canceled with her (its was a VP!!!). Low and behold they cancel on me 2 hours later :cuss: I texted her saying i could hang out again (i realized this was a stupid semi-AFC move JUST as a i sent it) and i got an excuse that she was celebrating a birthday with her sister but next week sure (really?, seems kinda made up to me). anyways, i NC till today texting her that we should hang out thurs (i am planning another plate for Tues/FRI/SAT and have practice mon/wed) she wants to hang wed i say i have class but no.

she replies a half hour later saying "well a few of my freinds are celebrating their bdays on say at XXXXX if interested". i think this may be the last shot since the schedules keep conflicting but at least she is willing to resched.

however, i am still new and this may as well be trial by fire (napalm, nuke, you name it) since i think is a sh!t test. i.e. if the GF's like me, i pass. I was thinking i go to the party, meet with her, exchange pleasantries with her group. then buy her bday FRIENDS a drink for the birthdays (NOTE: pseudo-gaming her friends but then pull her aside to hang with her)

thoughts?

 

[speed dawg]

Two things:

1 - You are obviously not spinning 4-5 plates right now. More like ONE.

2 - Don't meet with her at this birthday party. You will likely get next to zero attention from her.

 

[Griever114]

Two things:

1 - You are obviously not spinning 4-5 plates right now. More like ONE.

2 - Don't meet with her at this birthday party. You will likely get next to zero attention from her.

1. Believe what you want. I have 4 dates, different women all this week except 1 2nd date.

2. I only went into detail on this plate to get an opinion since I have never had this situation happen before and wanted to know if this would be a good test as a reforming AFC. I.e. harder situation to push my boundaries. Or if this was a test. Like i said for a first meet, this is strange. I will see if I can push to meet her before/after.

**edit: thanks for the advice on the second part though.

 

[boomerick]

Griev,

If you still want to put in the effort, offer up another weeknight.....

The birthday party is a mine field ....unless....

You are confident enough to swoop into the birthday party.....AMOG it....take it over.....use her as a pivot (if she's hot enough) (old PUA jargon hahahahaha)

And collect some of her friends as new plates.....

Being that you are relitively new and the potential for the birthday party thing to go disasterously wrong for a number of reasons......

I'd go for the weeknight if I were you......

Over and Out.

 

[Griever114]

Griev,

If you still want to put in the effort, offer up another weeknight.....

The birthday party is a mine field ....unless....

You are confident enough to swoop into the birthday party.....AMOG it....take it over.....use her as a pivot (if she's hot enough) (old PUA jargon hahahahaha)

And collect some of her friends as new plates.....

Being that you are relitively new and the potential for the birthday party thing to go disasterously wrong for a number of reasons......

I'd go for the weeknight if I were you......

Over and Out.

Copy that boomerick.

Yeah i am still building my skills at this point. Honestly, im having a hard time keeping up with 5 girls. I think i have my cap.

In a moment of brashness i replied that i could make it. I think im going to tell her that im selfish and not looking to have her split attention, play it coy.

If the plate drops, so be it.

They the chips fall as they may!

 

[Buddha_Mind]

Griever -- I think it's cool you're chatting up the ladies -- where are you picking these plates up at? Do you live in a larger area?

Man -- EJECT outta that b-day invite -- my reasoning: You will have the heavy hand of many of her closest female friends there and your impressions on them will be translated into her interest levels via their gossip and following discussion. Now I'm not saying this premeditated, I think we give too much credit to women in this regard, but it may be a subconcious thing and she just wants to see you and views this as a 'social outing' opportunity.

But whether it's a sh!t test or a naieve invite -- man it will be some heat. So you have a few options. #1 is totally accept and make a great night out of it -- have fun with her and joke with her friends and just pretend you are about to be on a date with 5+ women whatever the number is there and chum-it-up-hardcore.

Or, #2, bail and say you'd rather spend a bit of 1:1 time with her -- I think that's fair, I've had women respect the fact that I wanted to spend time with *just* them. But pick some time and date and try to stick with it so you're not flaking around on her or sending her mixed signals.

Personally, I would go for 1:1, because the odds and frame are in her favor going into the bday party -- she has social reinforcement. If you go 1:1 you established the frame by suggesting the date idea and you get to spend solo time with her and see how much further she peaks your interest.

 

[Nutz]

2 - Don't meet with her at this birthday party. You will likely get next to zero attention from her.

This. If you go you damn sure better bring a girl with you, the hotter the better. Make her fight for your attention, not the other way around.

Griev,

If you still want to put in the effort, offer up another weeknight.....

The birthday party is a mine field ....unless....

You are confident enough to swoop into the birthday party.....AMOG it....take it over.....use her as a pivot (if she's hot enough) (old PUA jargon hahahahaha)

And collect some of her friends as new plates.....

Being that you are relitively new and the potential for the birthday party thing to go disasterously wrong for a number of reasons......

I'd go for the weeknight if I were you......

Over and Out.

Solid advice.