How ron explain to a plate that "were just casual right now".

[CMNILS87]

My main plate I've been seeing since mid august. Someone's 1 date a week, sometimes only 1 every two weeks. She's brought up the exclusive talk twice and I've sidestepped saying it's too much investment with the amount i work and what I've got going on. She complies. Problem is she's starting to try to get me to do things that are boyfriend like and I don't like it.

1. can you come get me from the airport.
2. can you please help me out with putting in my washer/dryer at 10pm when I'm done working....
3. Help put in the dog gate
Etc.
Etc.

I've established and told her this is only casual once a week and I've given her excuses or told her I'm working and she'll have a friend help her. I'd totally help if I wanted more, but all she can bargain with is sex repayment. She can't cook, wouldn't take me out, wouldn't clean. Is she not getting the hint or just doing it intentionally to test frame? Or she's unhappy that's it's still casual and she's trying another avenue to take up my time.

 

[Roober]

I would think this is why most plates don't last too long because the woman begins to get emotionally invested. It sounds like you are getting to the point where you are going to start hurting her. You really have 3 options...

1. If you feel good about her, why not make her your GF?
2. Number 1 plus still have plates - i certainly don't have the heart for this...
3. End it - this may tell her your serious about the casual thing

I am more of an LTR kind of guy though as the bond you can develop with one person can be special. It is just a matter of determining if she is worth an LTR. If she were a car, would you buy her? or would you need to change her into a different model?

 

[CMNILS87]

I would think this is why most plates don't last too long because the woman begins to get emotionally invested. It sounds like you are getting to the point where you are going to start hurting her. You really have 3 options...

1. If you feel good about her, why not make her your GF?
2. Number 1 plus still have plates - i certainly don't have the heart for this...
3. End it - this may tell her your serious about the casual thing

I am more of an LTR kind of guy though as the bond you can develop with one person can be special. It is just a matter of determining if she is worth an LTR. If she were a car, would you buy her? or would you need to change her into a different model?

She's 32, I'm 29. Just about to hit my prime with career and looks are good. She's fun to hang with, but to sexually forward. I'll send something sexy to get her turned on, she rebuttals with something dirty and aggressive. It screams slut in her 20's. She takes the feminity and chase away from the sex. But anyways she's still 32 and postwall. Do I want to go exclusive and run into a girl that's younger and a better fit that's 24 and miss out. Not really. It's fun, but I don't want to go further and she knows that.

 

[Starting]

My main plate I've been seeing since mid august. Someone's 1 date a week, sometimes only 1 every two weeks. She's brought up the exclusive talk twice and I've sidestepped saying it's too much investment with the amount i work and what I've got going on. She complies. Problem is she's starting to try to get me to do things that are boyfriend like and I don't like it.

1. can you come get me from the airport.
2. can you please help me out with putting in my washer/dryer at 10pm when I'm done working....
3. Help put in the dog gate
Etc.
Etc.

I've established and told her this is only casual once a week and I've given her excuses or told her I'm working and she'll have a friend help her. I'd totally help if I wanted more, but all she can bargain with is sex repayment. She can't cook, wouldn't take me out, wouldn't clean. Is she not getting the hint or just doing it intentionally to test frame? Or she's unhappy that's it's still casual and she's trying another avenue to take up my time.

This is really the biggest dilemma guys with plates face. The inevitable moment of her asking to be exclusive and when you're not looking for that, the plate breaks. There has to be a davinci code to decypher this dilemma. There's got to be a way because every time I get into this moment it only goes bad. Just speaking from experience, those dodges will only get you so far.

 

[Von]

Its the natural evolution...now you either comply, eject, or stand firm.

Comply you get a LTR
Eject, you back to square one (single)
Stand firm, you'll last 2-3 month longer.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

Firstly, never directly tell a woman you are 'just casual'. It will make her feel cheap and will probably end your engagements quite quickly. Dress the situation up with more flowery language, like 'we're having fun right now, right?'. Something like that.

Sex is a greater investment for women, which so many men fail to understand. You've basically told her she's worth nothing except sex, which is why she's reacted the way she has.

1. can you come get me from the airport.
2. can you please help me out with putting in my washer/dryer at 10pm when I'm done working....
3. Help put in the dog gate

The optimum word here is 'help'. Understand that her interpretation of 'help' is, 'You do it for me while I watch / p!ss around on my phone'.

Your interpretation will be quite different; that being, she's going to be doing most of the work, you are there to supervise and direct, lending a hand where needed. You can make it in to a bonding experience, she'll feel a sense of achievement afterward, she be grateful to you for giving her that experience - far more so than if you straight did it for her. Male pride still in tact. You'll also see how well she performs under pressure and getting her hands dirty.

If she kicks up a fuss, tell her there's plenty of work men who get paid to do that kind of thing. Unless the task in hand directly benefits the two of you equally, you're her lover, not her on call handy man.

 

[dude99]

My main plate I've been seeing since mid august. Someone's 1 date a week, sometimes only 1 every two weeks. She's brought up the exclusive talk twice and I've sidestepped saying it's too much investment with the amount i work and what I've got going on. She complies. Problem is she's starting to try to get me to do things that are boyfriend like and I don't like it.

1. can you come get me from the airport.
2. can you please help me out with putting in my washer/dryer at 10pm when I'm done working....
3. Help put in the dog gate
Etc.
Etc.

I've established and told her this is only casual once a week and I've given her excuses or told her I'm working and she'll have a friend help her. I'd totally help if I wanted more, but all she can bargain with is sex repayment. She can't cook, wouldn't take me out, wouldn't clean. Is she not getting the hint or just doing it intentionally to test frame? Or she's unhappy that's it's still casual and she's trying another avenue to take up my time.

What she is doing is testing to see if she means anything to you.

Change nothing. Stay the course. If she can't respect the boundaries you laid out then next her.

 

[Bible_Belt]

I don't see how doing man-chores makes you her boyfriend. That's only true if you think it is.

Putting in a washer and dryer should take like ten minutes. Bring teflon tape, channel-lock pliers, and a flathead screwdriver for the clamp on the dryer vent hose.

 

[CMNILS87]

Firstly, never directly tell a woman you are 'just casual'. It will make her feel cheap and will probably end your engagements quite quickly. Dress the situation up with more flowery language, like 'we're having fun right now, right?'. Something like that.

Sex is a greater investment for women, which so many men fail to understand. You've basically told her she's worth nothing except sex, which is why she's reacted the way she has.



The optimum word here is 'help'. Understand that her interpretation of 'help' is, 'You do it for me while I watch / p!ss around on my phone'.

Your interpretation will be quite different; that being, she's going to be doing most of the work, you are there to supervise and direct, lending a hand where needed. You can make it in to a bonding experience, she'll feel a sense of achievement afterward, she be grateful to you for giving her that experience - far more so than if you straight did it for her. Male pride still in tact. You'll also see how well she performs under pressure and getting her hands dirty.

If she kicks up a fuss, tell her there's plenty of work men who get paid to do that kind of thing. Unless the task in hand directly benefits the two of you equally, you're her lover, not her on call handy man.

@Bible_Belt, I have a side construction business and have the tools to put that sucker in in 10-20 mins. Not a big deal. But it's what @TheMonkeyKing said about "help". She doesn't want help or someone to teach her, she just wants someone to do while she sits back and watches me. She'll send a picture of a ****ty put together gate. I could offer to help, yet agsin she won't learn anything. I've been the nice guy before and lent out my skills and received nothing in return. I'd rather volunteer my time and skill to a non profit for rebuilding than to a damsel in distress that will learn nothing.

 

[SgtSplacker]

If give her a ride of she needs it. And I'd do some little tasks if they are totally convenient for me.

I like to tell women no. Just plain no. They need to get used to hearing that. No excuses, I just don't feel like doing it.plain and simple. Women like to make to many requests in general. Fts

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

I have a side construction business and have the tools to put that sucker in in 10-20 mins.

Haa. Totally a 'do it for me' scenario.

Tell her you can do it if she pays supplies and labour (because you can't for free because of 'insurance' purposes ), or she can do it under your direction and genuine 'help' so long as she does something for you in return.

It's not called a game for no reason.

 

[Bible_Belt]

She doesn't want help or someone to teach her, she just wants someone to do while she sits back and watches me.

She doesn't want to learn, because it's man stuff, therefore she doesn't have to. Which by the way is traditional gender role thinking, and the opposite of Feminist. You can't lecture her out of her concept of gender roles. Personally, I prefer her thinking in that I usually just want the woman to shut up and get out of my way.

 

[Shift]

Tells you what it says about the quality of the woman. I'm going to ignore both hard line arguments made here and go in the middle and say it's fine to agree to do those things as long as she is making a clear effort to do her best to help you. A low quality chick will just sit there while you, say, put a dresser together, while a higher quality chick will do her best to help you with the "man chores", i.e. find the parts for you, put together parts of it while you are working on another part, etc.

If she tries to help you it shows you that she respects and values you

 

[mrgoodstuff]

@Bible_Belt, I have a side construction business and have the tools to put that sucker in in 10-20 mins. Not a big deal. But it's what @TheMonkeyKing said about "help". She doesn't want help or someone to teach her, she just wants someone to do while she sits back and watches me. She'll send a picture of a ****ty put together gate. I could offer to help, yet agsin she won't learn anything. I've been the nice guy before and lent out my skills and received nothing in return. I'd rather volunteer my time and skill to a non profit for rebuilding than to a damsel in distress that will learn nothing.

If you get pvssy it's ok. It's not ok, if they string you along and have you do all their "man work".

 

[PantyWhisperer]

Firstly, never directly tell a woman you are 'just casual'. It will make her feel cheap and will probably end your engagements quite quickly. Dress the situation up with more flowery language, like 'we're having fun right now, right?'. Something like that.

Sex is a greater investment for women, which so many men fail to understand. You've basically told her she's worth nothing except sex, which is why she's reacted the way she has.



The optimum word here is 'help'. Understand that her interpretation of 'help' is, 'You do it for me while I watch / p!ss around on my phone'.

Your interpretation will be quite different; that being, she's going to be doing most of the work, you are there to supervise and direct, lending a hand where needed. You can make it in to a bonding experience, she'll feel a sense of achievement afterward, she be grateful to you for giving her that experience - far more so than if you straight did it for her. Male pride still in tact. You'll also see how well she performs under pressure and getting her hands dirty.

If she kicks up a fuss, tell her there's plenty of work men who get paid to do that kind of thing. Unless the task in hand directly benefits the two of you equally, you're her lover, not her on call handy man.

You've got that right. She seems to think that you owe her some handyman work because she gives you sex. Stand your ground. I'd do the ride from the airport but I wouldn't get involved with her DIY chores. I hate when women do this.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

You've got that right. She seems to think that you owe her some handyman work because she gives you sex. Stand your ground. I'd do the ride from the airport but I wouldn't get involved with her DIY chores. I hate when women do this.

Some of us if were getting pvssy on demand and she's treating us good don't mind doing these things.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

I kind revise my view here... once every so often isn't so bad, depending what it is and depending how much she has already invested. To the requests, I'd always generally answer 'with what's it worth...?', with a sly grin. A lift, well, it's just a lift, again if it's not too often and she's not flying out to bang another bloke. And I stick by doing DIY together. She'll ghet a kick of adrenaline and thank you after.

However, if you do something for her, she should automatically be planning how to make it up to you. That's how dominance and submission works. Her attitude should be that you are doing her a favour that is to be returned; not something she's simply entitled to.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I kind revise my view here... once every so often isn't so bad, depending what it is and depending how much she has already invested. To the requests, I'd always generally answer 'with what's it worth...?', with a sly grin. A lift, well, it's just a lift, again if it's not too often and she's not flying out to bang another bloke. And I stick by doing DIY together. She'll ghet a kick of adrenaline and thank you after.

However, if you do something for her, she should automatically be planning how to make it up to you. That's how dominance and submission works. Her attitude should be that you are doing her a favour that is to be returned; not something she's simply entitled to.

I agree with your "man" approach. A lot of guys now adays are able to apply our posters technique, about framing the relation as sex ONLY and nothing else. Thus some of her guy friends or obiters that she just let get a sniff will get to do all her man-work around the house and car.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I agree with your "man" approach. A lot of guys now adays are able to apply our posters technique, about framing the relation as sex ONLY and nothing else. Thus some of her guy friends or obiters that she just let get a sniff will get to do all her man-work around the house and car.

Many women are having NO problem at all justifying one man paying the bills doing the work, and then having sex with a completely uncommitted guy that wouldn't give her anything but some d1ck.