How persistent are you ...

[bobbob]

I know probably 99% of the people on this board would say "next her" if a girl so much as sneezes, but, here's my situation.

There's a girl i dig, we went out once about a month ago. We kissed a few times during the date and when i was dropping her off. She gave me her cell #, i called a few days later and she didn't pick up, called the next day and she didn't pick up. I went to see her at her work place a couple days later, she was friendly but since she was leaving on a vacation in a couple days, so we didn't make plans. She said she'd call when she got back, and we hugged goodbye

So anyways, that was a couple weeks ago, she never called. I went by her work a couple days ago and she wasn't there. I called and left a message yesterday and she hasn't returned it. She should be back from vacation, since she was only going for a week

Well, I'm gonna go stop by her workplace next week and just see what's going on. In the mean time, any advice into what is going on or what's the best course of action, would be great. This girl is over 30, divorced, and seemed pretty guarded during the date. Smoking hot though and I have no other prospects lined up so that's why I'm not giving up yet

 

[516]

I'm generally a fairly persistant guy, but at this point, based on your info, it seems that this woman has no interest in you and you should probably move on. She would have called you at some point if she wanted you at all.

 

[Grey Fox]

You mean it doesn't wave any red flags, blazing red lights, and other wise bother you that you have placed all this effort and there has been no return! Listen to what you are saying, you aren't giving up because you are not looking for anyone else, and you have nothing else to focus on. The fact this woman is "super hot" probably makes matters worse, because you don't want to let that go. Look if she was interested she would have have responded to you, she would have also made an effort by hanging, being friendly instead of dissmissive. If you had respect for yourself you would have moved on after being treated so poorly. If you were smart about the whole thing you will from now on not stop at one number, its good practice, its good for your confidence and its a good way to not be stuck in the situation you are now. Don't go to her office, forget her, don't even say "bye bye." Be brave and face the unknown and start over, its not like you are quiting your job, moving and opening up a new bussiness, so its not that bad.

Do this and I promise you, you will feel a lot better about yourself. You will hold your head high, women will respect you as your experience and confidence grows. But it can't grow if you pin all your hopes on one good looking woman, trust me one day those looks fade and if you bought into her just for that, get ready to be her second or third divorce. Its time to start anew.

-Grey Fox

 

[skinnydart]

You'll never know until you ask her out. Just because she isn't all over you yet doesn't mean things can't start. I mean you havn't even been on a date yet right?

 

[bobbob]

She was never dismissive ... and so far i've called her a total of 3 times, left a message once, and went to her work place twice (one of which she wasn't even there).

So anyways, I'm not going to say "**** it" until i go there and see what her response is.

 

[WORKEROUTER]

Let's face it man. She's obviously not all over you and I think you're persisting a bit too much. It's damn hard NOT to persist a chick you dig (especially since there aren't too many other prospects right now), but you gotta force yourself not too. Try your best to find other chicks and get your mind off this one.

 

[smoke city]

I think you should move on, bob.
surely you have gone out w/ a woman and even kissed her, but for some reason you couldn't figure out didn't want to see her again...
This is most likely what happened.
Just suck it up and get back out there. When you get a few new bites, this one will quickly be forgotten (but only if you move NOW)

 

[Wyldfire]

I'm "pit-bull" persistent...

 

[Wyldfire]

You've spooked her and come across as being desperate. If you keep going by her work she's gonna get a restraining order. She's probably freaked out by you at this point. Don't come off so needy with the next one. And yes, you need to leave this one alone before you land in jail.

 

[DonJuanQuixote]

You're almost stalking her. And she's not interested. Stop. The world is CHOCK FULL of girls. You think this one is special? Bull$hit. There will be atleast 100^100 more whom you'd feel the same about. THATS the theory behind nexting.

 

[bobbob]

Wow, you guys are either nuts are seriously insecure ...

Over a period of a month+ I've called her 3 times, and seen her at work twice. i don't think that could be classified as stalking. She works at a freaking grocery store, i have to go there anyways to buy stuff.

I'm going there next week, i'll let u know how it turns out

 

[RiceHapa888]

there is an article here at sosuave in the article section about confident persistence- you have to do it right and I guess you can say the same about sales.... some leads you call them up get somewhere with them but they flake- sometimes its not you its them- their fault but by still trying you can get the sale or in this case the P

 

[DonJuanQuixote]

Originally posted by bobbob
Wow, you guys are either nuts are seriously insecure ...

Over a period of a month+ I've called her 3 times, and seen her at work twice. i don't think that could be classified as stalking. She works at a freaking grocery store, i have to go there anyways to buy stuff.

My dear bob... For your sake I sincerely hope that you can get with this girl. But you have tried 5 times and not managed to get a favorable response. Personally, to me this looks really bleak.

good luck

 

[christz]

you validateing her behavior with your behavior, you called the chick 3 times, left a message AND even dropped in on her twice and you have gotten NOTHING.

Stop it, stop validateing her behavior there is no validation! she is doing it because she's not intrested,

look at yourself, you like her and so you are makeing an attempt to get her attention she has even flashed a smile your way let alone going through even HALF of what your doing.

if a girl likes you she's gonna try her best to be with you, not on ALL occasions because things do come up, but on MOST occasions.

 

[GodOfThunder]

Judge by actions, not words. If she is saying you should hang out but not going through with it, which do you believe? The ***** is all talk.

 

[bobbob]

You guys are obviously on crack ... half of you couldn't even read the post right based off of your responses.

Rice, thanks for the message, I tried PM'ing you but your mailbox is full. I checked out the Confident Persistence threads, they were some great advice.

The whole reason I posted this question is, I wanted to see from people who have more experience than me, whether this girl is just being tentative about going out again or whether she's entirely not interested.

I'll find out next week, I'll post how it goes

 

[Scought]

You ask for advice and give us this

Dude, you asked for all these guys response. And you get a response that you dont like and you say everyone is on drugs. you, sir, sound like the one on drugs.

If things dont go your way, you just are blind to it. Much like this post and much like this girl that you are stalking.

She hasnt spoken to you in a MONTH. Ding dong, anyway home?
Obviously, you arent. How avoids someone for at least a month, and doesnt return phone calls, out of interest? uhh no one.
that would be one helluva way to get you to really like her.

Take a hint. And if you ask for advice please be prepared to accept it when its not in your favor.

What if you got drunk and messed around with some really ugly fat chick and the next day felt it wasnt the best idea. What if she called you three times, visited your work twice and kept thinking that she had a shot. Youd be freaked, even as a guy. I can only imagine what she is going through.
Dude, you wouldnt want this chick to bother you.
Get a clue.
At least dont insult those who take time to give you some advice.

Oh what do we care. Call her 5 times a day. Visit her at opening and close. In fact, find her ex-husband and ask him how he did it. That would be brilliant, Im sure she would like you even more, as to avoid you even worse than she is.

 

[MindOverMatter]

she's not interested.

 

[Wiesman44]

U ever see Top Gun ? Thats the type of persistence thats necessary. Not that stalker type where u attempt to ask her out a million times. Girls aren't dumb. She will see the missed call on her cell phone. Hell, she might even be ignoring you. If she even remotely was interested, she would have called back. You have to be persistant in a way thats attractive. Not just going up to her a million times, thinking she'll give in once.

 

[flexion_]

She is not interested - don't go to her place or work anymore.