How old do you have to be before you become "the creepy old guy" at a college bar?

[squirrels]

At college bars, and I'm not talking about city nightclubs and the like, but college bars in college towns, where most of the students are 21-24...how old is "too old" to hang out in those places? How old is the point where you start looking like "the creepy old guy"?

 

[Bonhomme]

The point when you start looking like the "creepy old guy" is when you're obviously closer to their parents' age than theirs and you hit on them.

STR8UP likes to tease a younger woman by telling her she's "just a baby." Play it cool, reverse the game, and you need not come off as "creepy," whatever the age difference may be.

It's not one's age, but their actions that make them "creepy." When you're much older than the gals around you, engage them non-sexually, or let them hit on you -- which will still happen if you look reasonably good and/or have other qualities that turn them on. How many 20ish gals would do Brad Pitt or George Clooney, after all? Hell, I checked out a concert by 80 year-old Tony Bennett this summer and there were 20ish gals swooning over him.

A lot of young women have had their share of oafish college boys who get sh1tfaced, act like idiots, and are "minutemen" in bed, and would love a bit of real suaveness and sensual, deliberate lovemaking for a change.

 

[blueguy]

Where I'm at, the average undergraduate senior is 26. The average graduate student is 32. There are lots older than 24 in the college bars. I'm 25, and I've dated quite a few 19 year olds who are still very interested in me. I've roomed with a lot of guys in late 20s, early 30s going to college.

I guess it also depends on how you look. If you still look and dress the same, it's no problem. But if you're fat, bald, hairy and dress like an old guy, then I could understand it being difficult.

 

[DJDamage]

how old is "too old" to hang out in those places? How old is the point where you start looking like "the creepy old guy"?

When you find out you have nothing in common with those girls.

 

[blueguy]

That's the thing. At 27, you're probably looking for somebody you can really "connect" with. So you think it's easier to make that connection with the older women since they've experienced more of life. Like this one guy I know. He won't date younger girls because he can't talk about intellectual topics with them... politics, religion, etc. I just don't really understand why that is more important than other factors.

Maybe I'm shallow, but since when does compatibility with your girlfriend have to do with whether she knows about the latest international affairs in Bosnia? It's easy to have fun with younger girls, and I think that's all that really matters. If you want to talk about politics or you want a girl to offload all your emotional problems to feel that "connection," it's easy to fill that void elsewhere.

 

[STR8UP]

STR8UP likes to tease a younger woman by telling her she's "just a baby." Play it cool, reverse the game, and you need not come off as "creepy," whatever the age difference may be.

Now I don't condone trying to pick up chicks who are half your age (unless you are at least 36!) but if you ever find yourself in that position this works like a charm.

See, I'm the kind of person who sometimes talks before he thinks. And in this case it's a good thing because I stumbled upon one of the things I was doing RIGHT that was helping me to attract younger chicks.

I finally put two and two together when I met my last LTR. She has just turned 21 and when I found out her age I said something like "HOLY SH1T! Am I gonna get arrested for talking to you?", or something stupid like that, and she ate it up! From that point on I realized by doing that I was putting them into the position that they had to qualify themselves to me instead of vice versa.

I don't know how well it works on the approach, but in the attraction building stages it's PRICELESS. If she is at all attracted to you she will want you to see her as a mature adult. All you have to do is make it seem like she has a ways to go to PROVE that to you, and you're good as gold.

It's not one's age, but their actions that make them "creepy." When you're much older than the gals around you, engage them non-sexually, or let them hit on you -- which will still happen if you look reasonably good and/or have other qualities that turn them on.

Exactly. Age isn't a number, it's an attitude. If you are 35 or 40 or 45 and ACT like they expect a guy your age to act, you got little chance.

The thing is today (and I think I have posted about this before) there is no longer a generation gap. I can be 35 and dress like I'm in my early 20's and noone will say sh!t to me. Hell, the 20 yr old I fukked a couple of times has pretty much the SAME taste in music as I have. She knows lots of old stuff. Journey is her favorite band, believe it or not. And I listen to all of the new stuff she listens to. She even bought me a t-shirt from one of those stores in the mall that all the young people shop at and I wear it all the time.

 

[STR8UP]

It's easy to have fun with younger girls, and I think that's all that really matters.

I like the bubbly personalities and the carefree attitude younger women have. BIG plus.

This is so funny. When I was 20 I was told I looked like I was 30. Now I'm 33 and told I look 25.

Haha, same here. I started losing my hair when I was YOUNG. I always took everything too seriously and everyone thought I acted like an old man. Now most people think I'm 5-10 years younger than I am. Even had a 26 yr old chick thats interested in me tell me the other day that she was worried when she first met me cause she thought I was 21 or 22!

It also helps if you hang out with younger people too.

 

[Last Man Standing]

Hors love pimps - portray yourself as a pimp - hors will flock to you!!!

 

[blueguy]

Hors love pimps - portray yourself as a pimp - hors will flock to you!!!

Isn't that what you say in all the other 1513 posts you have made? Kidding.

 

[d9930380]

Unfortunately most clubs that play "good" music are student clubs, it seems the clubs for older people play crappy dance music. So I've had this problem recently, I think it comes down to dress and attitude as much as age though.

 

[zergkiller]

A creepy old guy walks into a college bar...

Let me suggest that whether or not your creepy would depend on the reaction you sense from the women you try to talk to. Young people are much less polite than older ones. If a girl thinks you’re creepy, she will let you know.

I’m almost 63, and I’ve never gone into a college bar, since I don’t know any at the moment, but I am taking swing dancing lessons and I meet educated women who are in their early twenties frequently. I don’t have any trouble talking to most women at that age, unless it’s due to difficulties on their side.

But by far, I think creepiness would relate to motives. When I meet a girl, my motive is ultimately marriage, not to get laid. I’ve found that many, many girls will talk to you if you’re asking questions about marriage and they find that you are genuine and honorable in your intentions.

I had a conversation with a Hooter’s waitress that began with “Let’s get married”. She was somewhat shocked, but I explained that at 18, she was too young for me, and her father would probably kill me. Then I continued the conversation. I explained that I was healthy and planned on living quite a long time. I found out that she had quite a bit of cancer and heart disease in her family. I don’t. End of discussion.

With another Hooter’s waitress, I asked her about sex and today's rules. I told her that when I was her age, sex was to be entirely after marriage. I said that I was puzzled by today’s world, since I didn’t like being pressured to try to get a date in bed immediately. She told me that she never went to bed with a date on the first time. (That was a rule for Kissing when I was 18.) “Unless I just want to”, she added. The implication was that you had to have at least three dates with her to get her into bed. Mostly.

Last week, I had a conversation with a man and his wife in a bar. They had been married 23 years. He showed my a picture of his beautiful daughter who was 17. I asked him what his attitude would be if I were to court his daughter. His wife was set aghast by the question, but the man said “as long as you’re good to her”.

Which I would be.

 

[Last Man Standing]

She told me that she never went to bed with a date on the first time. (That was a rule for Kissing when I was 18.) “Unless I just want to”, she added.

Haha, nowadays hors try to act act as if they have scruples!!! Stupid hors should be hung for making such an illogical offhanded comment!!!

 

[Luthor Rex]

When you find out you have nothing in common with those girls.

LOL then I was "too old" for them when I was 19 myself.

 

[d9930380]

zergkiller - The problem with what your saying is that you are talking to those girls with a different intent than most guys here. i.e their intent is to get with them, either as you said it to get laid or even to maybe one day get married. You are coming across as the nice old man who just wants to have a friendly chat; you are either being sincere or your playing the "friend", either one won't work if that isn't your ultimate objective. If you actually started being true with them and revealing your true intent then you would see how different their reaction would be.

If that isn't your intent then why are you posting as this is a dating forum, not a how to be friendly with women forum. We all know how to do that, that's the reason most of us are here. ;-)

 

[LoneSilver]

abc

 

[zergkiller]

Life’s a long time.

D9930380

I usually don’t respond to folks here, since most of the responses are too quarrelsome, but you seem pretty quiet, so I’ll answer. For one thing, you need to know that I’ve already thought most of the thoughts presented on this site. They are testosterone-based, and for the most part not rational.

I’m not religious, but sex is for reproduction. I hated that idea when I was your age because I didn’t have my own life in order. Most of the people on this site don’t either. You have to be content with yourself and have a plan to live correctly. When that is accomplished, your attitude changes, and so do your “dating” motives. Perhaps you might read “Think and Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill. Somewhere in there, he points out that no man ever really succeeds without a good woman behind him. The book is a good primer for succeeding in life.

You should have seen the eyes of the girl I spoke with two days ago. It turned out that she had six weeks to go to finish high school. I was the first male she had ever met who approached her about courting. I did this because she was beautiful and had talent. She had studied ballet for most of her life, and I respected that. I had no idea of her age at all until she told me. She knew it was not some “friendly chat”. I will never be her “friend” and she knows that. She has to qualify with me.

She told me she had a boyfriend. And I complemented her beau, since he had ambition. Then I told her it wouldn’t be fair, since I would teach her about the business world and do things like take her to Europe or into the Caribbean instead of to Sonic. I was totally serious, but we have to be friends first. That’s my rule. Life’s a long time.

 

[lookyoung]

She told me she had a boyfriend. And I complemented her beau, since he had ambition. Then I told her it wouldn’t be fair, since I would teach her about the business world and do things like take her to Europe or into the Caribbean instead of to Sonic. I was totally serious, but we have to be friends first. That’s my rule. Life’s a long time.

Zerg I respect you going after the young ladies but 18 is way too young for you. Your older than my dad. The only way your going to pull 18 year old tail is if the girl is messed up physcologically or if you pay her rent. Either way your in a no win situation.

Your 63 you should be pulling 45 year old tail.

Ok I am 30 and to me the girls under 25 are immature, although I have banged quite a few LOL. I personally think that 35 is probably too old for a college bar.

My opinion is that most woman will not date a guy that is 15 years older than them.

 

[Phyzzle]

To answer the original question, use the hair rule. When you don't have any hair left on the top of your head, you shouldn't be going to college bars. Same goes for gray.

 

[blueguy]

My personal experience, but I find that most girls think a guy is creepy for thinking about marriage right away. Sex isn't creepy to most girls I find. It is what they want if they find you attractive. But communicating or subcommunicating your desire for marriage early on into he relationship is usually a turn off since it raises a red flag (why does he/she want to lock themselves in so early? what is wrong with them?) Especially if I like the girl, I try not to send those signals. Since any heterosexual relationship is largely based on physical attraction and only partially friendship, I'd suggest you make sure she is physically attracted to you first by making moves on her before the issue of marriage comes up.

 

[NorPacWolf]

I think you should wait another 15 or 20 or 25 years before you ask this question. Come on, man, you're 27! There are many, many undergrads who are in their mid twenties nowadays. A lot of graduate students don't even START until their thirties.

Wolf