How old are you again?!

[khane9]

The guys I hung with last weekend were out of town, so I was solo last night. There was the lightning game (I scored tix for game 5), the fight and a race on, so I headed down to the bar I mentioned a few weeks ago to knock back one or two, watch the events and go home. That was the plan.

After a while a blonde walks in, looks about mid 30's, I'm sober and she's not to bad looking, and I could tell by her accent she was from the same place I just moved from. So the convo was easy and fun and we started getting into shots. Long story short she spends the night over at my place.

I get up in the morning to make some coffee, and as I walk through the living room I noticed a cane next to the front door. My younger brother just moved in and his little crop of buddies are into the goth stuff, so the cane didn't seem unusual to me.

Apparently, it was something. Because I decided to comment on it as I went back to the bedroom with the coffee, because after I got done with my little freak speach she said "That's my cane." Well, not only did I feel a little stupid, but it dawned on me that I was flipping & tossing this girl around all night long. Alright, so maybe I wasn't as big as I thought....

Anyway she's going on about an accident and somewhere in there I hear, "...my grandson".

Oh good god, I'm thinking. I just banged someone's grandma. And I didn't hold back either, man. I was talking dirty and everything. "That's right girl, get wet. Get wet for me..."

Yeah ok. So it was about as bad as it gets, until she asked me what time it was. After telling her she said, "Oh. It's medicaton time".

Fuuuuuuck.

At this point, I'm just looking for the cheery on top: The pace maker.

Yeah. You could say I wrapped it up real quick and banned bars forever. She was actually only 42 (I worked in asking to see her ID telling her she looked younger), but the whole thing scarred me anyway. It was to weird.

I'm considering taking up on smoking pot just for the memory loss.

C'mon guys. Make me feel better. Tell me a story of your own.

 

[Golden Arms]

I'll make sure and tell my grandma to watch out for you, you sick bastard

Seriously, something doesn't add up in your story. How could you possibly not notice the cane if she spent the night at your place ? We're not talking about a contact lense, but a freaking CANE. Was it a fold-out cane that she kept in her purse ?

 

[khane9]

Yeah, I know. She didn't use it to walk though, I would have caught that. I guess she just carried it with her. What really confuses me was that it wasn't a fold up.

I didn't see her actually walk into the place. I noticed her after she sat down. So I can see myself not catching it there. I led her into my place by her hand as she walked behind me. So I can see how I missed it there too. But I can't figure out for the life of me how she got it out of the bar and to my car without me seeing it, unless maybe she left it outside or something. I dunno.

I think what bothered me most about this whole thing is that I'm still trying to get over turning 30 years old. I'm seeing people getting married and all that crap. And this particular incident just spooked me. Like a flash foward of a dating life at 40 or 50, because I'm sure all women have some type of baggage at that age. It's one of the reasons I didn't marry too young to begin with. I didn't want to be the mid-aged divorcee cruising the meat market.

I wasn't looking last night anyway. It was a ONS that fell into my lap and I took it. But it did get me thinking about other things.

 

[TooColdUlrick]

as my sister would say, just go 'head and file that under the what the fvck was i thinking folder.

at 30, at least you can say you fvcked a hot azz grandma :0.

was she good? ewe, that tightens my colon.

 

[khane9]

Thanks for the colon story.

Nope, not that good at all. And in thinking about it, I've noticed quite a few of the "older women" I've been with can't give a good blow job if thier lives depended on it. Damn teeth. I've had to tap em on the jaw and tell them to loosen it up.

Some of the younger ones...unbelievable. It's like they went through Olympic training for it.

 

[Falcon Eye]

Originally posted by khane9
Thanks for the colon story.

Nope, not that good at all. And in thinking about it, I've noticed quite a few of the "older women" I've been with can't give a good blow job if thier lives depended on it. Damn teeth. I've had to tap em on the jaw and tell them to loosen it up.

Some of the younger ones...unbelievable. It's like they went through Olympic training for it.

That's not the experience that I've had at all. I found that the older women are very good at blow jobs. My forty-five year old has gotten very good at sucking; I also have a FB on the side that I do once in a while, who is older still, that spends some high quality time on her knees.

I have in years past though been with women who gave lousy blow jobs. In my view, if a woman doesn't suck properly it really takes away from the entire sexual experience. There's not much better experience for a man than a woman who knows what she's doing when she's on her knees.

 

[maranathaman]

Originally posted by Golden Arms
I'll make sure and tell my grandma to watch out for you, you sick bastard

HAHAHAHA!!! LMAO!!!

 

[khane9]

Originally posted by Falcon Eye
That's not the experience that I've had at all. I found that the older women are very good at blow jobs. My forty-five year old has gotten very good at sucking; I also have a FB on the side that I do once in a while, who is older still, that spends some high quality time on her knees.

Most guys would agree, but for whatever reason, I haven't seen it yet. Then again could be that every experience I've had with the older ones were situations I didn't initiate. Maybe that's it.

I went to lunch today at a beach bar & grill, saw this older blonde there with a set of tits that'd make any man drool and an iddy biddy petite waist. I can chase em like that, but I've never chased the average ones.

 

[MrAddiction]

Bumped for a good laugh;-))))))))

 

[Mazer]

Did she call you "sonny"? It could be a new **** test, dont fall for it j/k Lol.

 

[logicallefty]

OP, your story was both entertaining and weird. Mostly entertaining

I don't know how old you are but I am 43 and had my share of 40+ women. Most 42yo women do not walk with a cane. But on the other hand, more of them than you think are grandmas.

I suppose you could have really thrown it out there "I didn't notice the cane last night. I'm glad I pounded you hard enough last night to make you need it today!!!!"

 

[Glassguy]

Thanks for the colon story.

Nope, not that good at all. And in thinking about it, I've noticed quite a few of the "older women" I've been with can't give a good blow job if thier lives depended on it. Damn teeth. I've had to tap em on the jaw and tell them to loosen it up.

Some of the younger ones...unbelievable. It's like they went through Olympic training for it.

I guess the next time you can politely ask her to take her teeth out and store them over by her cane and joint pain meds until you are done fvcking her.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

LMFAO A1 trolling.

 

[sosousage]

"medication time" lol

well she was only 42

 

[Desdinova]

I've got an ex-GF who's been a grandma for at least the last 4 years or so. She had a baby when she was 16.

42 isn't a big deal. The cane is a bit weird though. Maybe she's got MS or something.