how often do you guys find a girl who matches your personality, hobbies and dreams?

[strong like bull]

im in an uncomfortable situation right now.

i know a girl, who loves everything i do and has the personality id look for in a girl, yet her looks are about below my standards. her face is kinda cute but shes about 20-40lbs overweight.

i have more in common with her than any other girl ive meet in the past couple years. we love the same music, food, movies, hobbies, everything. granted, i havent reached far outside my social circle (i met her as a co-worker). regardless, we really click and theres always been an interesting magnetism between us. on top of that, she is a GIVER. always respects me, cooks for me, showers me with gifts and all kinds of comforts. the way she treats me is the only way id accept a girl as a gf; if it came to that.

the problem is that, because of her weight, i have a hard time getting aroused by her. as playful as she is, and as fiesty and kinky in bed, its tough getting it into gear.

i feel guilty because i know her looks - which could be changed by workouts/diet - are the only thing holding me back. and you shouldnt enter a relationship with the intent to change the other person, right?

and this made me wonder, how often do you guys run into a girl who shares the same tastes as you do? or better yet, you meet a hot girl who isnt a stuck up *****. rather, a hot girl who is still modest, respectful AND shares all of the same tastes you do.

thanks in advance.

-SLB

 

[Dukester]

Ok buddy....

well it's not everyday you find some chick that matches your personality perfect. One that you click with instantly, and can maintain that interest for an extended period of time.

I'm gonna approach answering this, through my current situation. (I'd like to say I'm happy where I am right now, and that's all I care about, I'm DJ, successfull life, etc... so no flaming).


My situation is kinda the same. Except for the fact that my girlfriend and I are total opposites. We share a few things in common, but a lot of our views are different. I notice that she is changing for me though. i.e. when we first met, she fet strongly about certain things, now she's siding more w/ me.

She is shy, and I know I have control in the relationship, but that's a whole other subject. Back to the matter at hand...
My girlfriend doesnt have the greatest looks- when I was playin', I would pick only 8's, and even 9's to DJ. I was attracted to my g/f for some strange reason, and the more I got to know her, the more I was attracted to her. She has decent looks- about 7.5, and most my friends say she looks pretty good.
She's got a lil bit of a belly on her, but she's been going to the gym a lot now. She told me that she didnt go over the summer at all, and now she goes like 3 times a week (a move to impress me??)

But, her personality is like at a level of 9. Even though we have different views on things, we still come together. It's like that opposites attract thing. Things seem to be working out very well for us.
So IMO, if you are totally "perfect," and you want an LTR or STR, then looks shouldnt matter. That goes against what I would normally say, but what the he!!. Normally I'd say go for the hotter girl, b/c I have that playa mindset.
sorry 4 the long reply

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Meeting someone that enjoys all of the things that you do is as easy as meeting yourself on the street, it won't happen. However, you could meet someone that enjoys your company so much that they are willing to learn about your passions to be able to share them with you.

For example, consider Lance Armstrong. Yeah, he's famous, has a boat load of money and for what? Riding a bike! He kicks tall @ss at it but come on, who do you think would be as passionate about cycling as him, another cyclist probably. But who is he dating? Sheryl -fvckin'- Crow! Talk about a hottie!!!

Now get this, you'd think that Sheryl would be into just her music and touring, not so. She's gotten into cycling, she even helps him test equipment from bikes to padded cycling shorts! Why? Because she cares deeply for him and is closer to him because she is learning to share his passion.

So you may not find the perfect looking woman that shares all of your interests right off the bat, but if the chemistry is there she may be inspired enough to become interested in your passion.

 

[Lifeforce]

Those girls are really rare. Nowadays it mostly feels like every girl is a sligth different replica than the other. Meeting people who you really click with is not going to happen very often. I don't even think it happens once a year. It's very few women I have felt that kind o connection with.

Meeting hot women who are modest, show respect and care is like finding water in the desert. Well it happens... I talked to one about a month ago, blonde, very beatiful face with a trained body with those qualities. Many are way to uptight she was like fun, caring and showed respect. It's very rare to met. Many think they are superior to others or having inflated egos. Finding one who is all that and share my tastes and you have the woman I would take along in my life.

Anyway I hope you solve your problem.

 

[Joe The Homophobe]

you say your girl cares for you so much then why don't you tell her to work out? why don't you work out with her? go to the gym with her and support her?

just know this. She is overweight already and is not going to the gym. Her looks WILL ONLY GET WORSE, NOT BETTER!

just remember that. Right now she is at a level that is decent enough for you. But overtime, could be soon or could be later, her looks will deteriorate if she doesn't do something and it will reach a point where you don't want her anymore.

you have to act now rather than later.

 

[DJBen]

Originally posted by Lifeforce
Those girls are really rare. Nowadays it mostly feels like every girl is a sligth different replica than the other. Meeting people who you really click with is not going to happen very often. I don't even think it happens once a year. It's very few women I have felt that kind o connection with.

Meeting hot women who are modest, show respect and care is like finding water in the desert. Well it happens... I talked to one about a month ago, blonde, very beatiful face with a trained body with those qualities. Many are way to uptight she was like fun, caring and showed respect. It's very rare to met. Many think they are superior to others or having inflated egos. Finding one who is all that and share my tastes and you have the woman I would take along in my life.

Anyway I hope you solve your problem.

I swear we're a copy of each other. From what I tell we seem to believe the exact same things and agree on almost everything.

I usually meet two really nice girls a year, and quite often they dont share the same feeling. Usually when you find a real nice girl, they're taken too. Does it make me sad? Sorta. Do I keep looking? Hell yeah.

I'm not ashamed to say I'd give up a few things for the right woman. The relationship will still be 50/50. I still wont take any crap.

The point about shania and the cyclist is dead on the money. I didnt even realise that

 

[ToughGuy]

Don't get too choosy / specific!!

Hey buddy,
Don't get so choosy / specific
you need to practice on as many women as you can to gain the understanding and to recognize the rite women for you.

So date 100s of gals and learn n grow, share your experience and wisdom here.

All the Best

Yours
Tuffy

All the pu$$y of world are for you da MAN

 

[squirrels]

First of all, ask yourself if you're GENUINELY not attracted to her or whether you're just nervous about your friends finding out.

If it's just because of social status, then you need to get over that. It's YOU who's going to be spending time with her, not your friends.

If you're GENUINELY unattracted to her physically, and with 40 extra pounds that's probably the case, then you may have to look elsewhere if sexiness is important to you. Remember, there is NO "one" girl...there are many who can fit the role. Don't ever compromise on something that's important to you.

It'd be a shame to waste the opportunity, though. Why don't you try to get her ass coming to the gym with you? Extra weight can be shed. Get both your asses on a decent diet and start working out together. Obviously, you can't CHANGE her, but maybe she wants to lose it too...and just never had the motivation.

A woman who respects her body is important to some people. It's just like if I met the perfect girl but she smoked, she wouldn't be the "perfect" girl.