How often do you get flaked on?

[donovan]

PlayboyLA's Take

Hey guys, it's been awhile since I was on here.

This post is an interesting topic.

I was with PlayboyLA from The Game (Stephen Nash) on Saturday and he elaborated on the question of "Why this girl flaked on me..." He told me:

Basically, you're not giving her a reason to see that you want to meet up with her for anything other than her looks.

You need wide rapport to be able to solidfy a second date, otherwise the number will always flake. (Atleast with quality women)

From her perspective, she's known you for 10 minutes, you've seemed charming, but haven't looked past her looks, and made her feel unique, or she can't see that you're any different from the other guys that she's talked to.

So:

Flirt, Tease, Share Commonalities, and Develop Wide Rapport (By conversing with her on more than 5 topics). Before you leave, you probably should compliment her on one thing not appearance (don't over do it), like, It's interesting to meet a girl who has the same interest in ..... Defintely brownie points...

Hope it helps.

 

[Cod3r]

No need for all the 'jargon', like someone else already said if you're worried about being flaked on you're obviously not meeting enough women, or you have too much time on your hands and need to get a job, hobby, ect...

I'm like someone that already posted, I end up doing the flaking. Ask any girl that's ever been with me and she'll tell you i'm impossible to contact, I don't ask for numbers and hardly ever do i call them back if they offer me their numbers. Don't really have time for females, too much work to do and busy 22 hours out of the day and ironically females come out of nowhere... I don't get flakes because I don't entertain women, no time...

I'm in relationship now with gf, so all this is was when I was in my 'player' stage and just to help you 'new recruits' out a little bit. Don't ask for numbers, nor set up dates, just do whatever and let the girl do all the chasing and planning and all of that, its still funny to me when guys ask for girls numbers... lol


-Cod3r

 

[drZaius09]

You mean, a healthy, thin young woman? Poof? No interest? When you don't even know a dam thing about her?

<sarcasm>Yeah, can you imagine? A man not dropping everything for the latest vagina that's entered the scene? It's a sin! A horrible, horrible sin! You should all be ashamed of yourselves for not devaluing everything other than the women in your life<sarcasm>

I've never had that happen to me.

Happens to me all the time. Probably happens to everyone else who actually HAS A LIFE, and doesn't just scratch their genitals all day looking for a date.

As you get older (out of college), you find that people have to set things up in advance, including you. Just get into the habit now.

No.

 

[Phyzzle]

drZaius & Jackman, are you saying that you don't set up dates? You just say "I'll call you some time Thursday"?

So you call at 7:30 and she doesn't answer. What then?

If you keep calling, you're desperate. If you stop calling, you stood her up.

I used to put myself in that position. I decided it was easier to learn to how to operate a calendar.

Happens to me all the time. Probably happens to everyone else who actually HAS A LIFE [snarl snarl]

Heh, I guess I'm not picky. I'll give any chick a chance.

My friends will bang anything that moves. I see no reason to limit myself.

 

[drZaius09]

So you call at 7:30 and she doesn't answer. What then?

What then? I get on with my life. I'm sure I can find something to do... like smoke a fat J, or maybe "eat a taco" as (.)(.) would say

If you keep calling, you're desperate.

I wouldn't keep calling... as I said above, I have plenty of J's to smoke or tacos to eat.

If you stop calling, you stood her up.

Oh, for the love of Jesus, NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Anything but that!

I decided it was easier to learn to how to operate a calendar.

Some random WH0RE that I just met has not earned a time-slot on my calender until she at least proves she's not a flake (hence the topic we're discussing). Now, consequently, I will be more than happy to ink out a spot for a girl I've been dating for a while and whose time I respect.

 

[donArjun]

So far my number of flakes is practically non-existant. But I don't usually ask for the number if I don't feel the girl is interested, but even that doesn't happen that much. If I talk to a girl and get to show my personality, she usually likes me. Therefore I think my inner game is pretty tight.

My problem is still approach anxiety and not seeing enough good targets when I go out. Given the first paragraph above you would think I wouldn't have a problem approaching. Still it is easier said than done...

But the point is it is possible to really reduce flaking.

I see that as a potential problem., I mean if you only ask when either they are showing overwhelming interest in you
or you are totally interested in her ..

if you wait for the picture perfect situation, then you are not going to get a lot of numbers..

what if she is interested in you, but doesn't show it
what if she is not having a good looking day, but she's much better the next.

that is why, i know some people say it shouldn't always be about getting the number , but sometimes you've got to do it anyway for the confidence or just to know.

 

[Phyzzle]

I wouldn't keep calling... as I said above, I have plenty of J's to smoke or tacos to eat.

This way will pass up perfectly good opportunities.

So you already got her on the phone once to set something up Thursday.

But, again, it's another phone call at some unknown time on Thursday, and if she isn't at her phone at that very moment, then NEXT!

Why needlessly complicate things with MORE phone games, doing extra calling to CREATE some reason to next her?

Some random WH0RE that I just met has not earned a time-slot on my calender until she at least proves she's not a flake.

Unless you tell her to come over right-now-this-very-second, you are giving her a time slot.

I'm just saying what works for me: instead of "Thursday", say "Thursday at 7".

She's no more likely to flake (in my experience!). And I'm not relying on phone calls any more than necessary - that's the thing for me.

 

[drZaius09]

edit

 

[squirrels]

This is why the talk for 5 minutes and get a phone number routine is usually BS. Ye, she might give you the number, but is you are not memorable, she'll just think, "I'll just do the same thing next week, and give my numbe out to some other guys." When it comes time for you to set up date, she'll first think to herself if she has anything planned, but then also figures that if anything comes up, she'll just flake, since she can get a man just as interesting as you again rather easily.

This is the exact kind of bullsh!t that makes me want to stop trying with women altogether. I mean, yeah, I can get another WOMAN just as easily...this HOT chick last night completely f*cking flaked out on me and I just went out to the bar and pulled a number from this other cute blonde who was hanging out there. But when I make plans, I STICK to them.

That's not "the game", that's just basic human politeness. Since when does being attractive give women a license to act rude and disrespectful?

If this is true, I start asking myself what the point is of even TRYING to find a hot girl. It's basically a question of whether she's ready to screw THAT MOMENT, and if not, you're basically f'd because she'll just replace you the next night out.

I hear stuff like this and it makes me just lose respect for the entire female gender. And they think WE'RE the "pigs"? WOMEN are the pigs. They treat men like interchangeable pieces of meat.

It's like I'm starting to realize now that all the attractive women that I THOUGHT I was in with, even ones I've kissed, made out with, etc...*I* was the one being played. I was just some cute guy, an "option to f*ck" among many, many other options and she didn't really give a care to know me or anything about who I AM as a PERSON.

Romance is a joke, love doesn't exist, women are creatures without honor or character, and basically everything I wanted in life from the opposite sex is a friggin pipe-dream.

How am I supposed to even HEAR this? How am I supposed to DEAL with this??

And the people that DID land the hot girlfriends with the awesome personalities...how did THEY do it?? What do they have that I don't? Why do I continue to fail and fall victim to this bullsh!t?

 

[RedPill]

How am I supposed to even HEAR this? How am I supposed to DEAL with this??

And the people that DID land the hot girlfriends with the awesome personalities...how did THEY do it?? What do they have that I don't? Why do I continue to fail and fall victim to this bullsh!t?

Squirrels, what is the most important thing you've got going on in life right now outside of women?

 

[squirrels]

Squirrels, what is the most important thing you've got going on in life right now outside of women?

Outside of women? Hmm...got a pretty steady job, but it bores the piss outta me sometimes. The thing I'm most hooked on now is motorcycles...I go ride my bike every chance I get...in fact, I'm signed up for this superbike school in September. I also work out pretty seriously, been thinking about taking a rock-climbing trip, and also trying to gain some skill/feel for playing poker.

I don't have a whole lot of friends...the ones I DO have, I feel pretty tight with, but we don't "hang out" often. It seems like they have disparate interests, or they're in line with my own, but they don't have the time or money or initiative to go after them.

I don't even know WHAT'S important. I don't even know if women are important. Honestly, the world keeps on turning without them.

I'm just getting frustrated is all. I read something like the article above and it makes me feel like women CONTROL the dating scene. The fact that attractive women are given so much attention and validation, that otherwise QUALITY men can be swayed to fall in love with a woman based solely on her looks...that makes me feel absolutely powerless in any kind of interaction with a girl of high value (read: attractive). I mean, I've got my options too, but only .01% of men can EVER hope to match the romantic value of an otherwise TYPICAL attractive woman.

And the fact that their attractiveness somehow gives them license in today's society to act without honor or dignity and STILL get respected...JUST for looks...I just start to lose all hope after a while. That a girl thinks she can BREAK a commitment just because "she has options"...I mean, I've had opportunities to swap one date out for another, but I don't think I could EVER do that, just because I have RESPECT for other people and if I tell them that I'll be somewhere, MY WORD IS GOOD. I respect MYSELF that way as well.

I just don't know where to go from here with women. I mean, just that glimpse into what goes on inside their heads just leaves me reeling with disgust and confusion. What do I have to do to hook up with hot girls? Do I need to set aside my self-respect? Is my system of values antiquated? Do I need to really be a "jerk" and just treat women like a joke, like lesser human beings, like they treat men?

 

[squirrels]

Anyone,

Couple of questions for you guys.

Where do you pick these girls up?
Do you call/text first? When?
Is it after dates or pre first meet?
How long did you sarge them for before the #close?

Cheers

Sarge On...

It's not even just numbers. This girl who flaked on me last night...we were at her friend's house till 5AM last Thursday watching movies, kissing, that kind of sh!t.

Then I'm supposed to believe that she likes me, but she's gonna just flake out on a date to go hang with her friends because she can "easily find another guy she likes"? Again...why 'TF do I waste my time?? What kind of ridiculous, classless creatures ARE these women??

 

[RedPill]

Read this thread, if you haven't already.

 

[Vulpine]

YOUCH! RedPill, that isn't going to make me look any classier, not after my 'devil's advocate' rampage in the cheating thread. Ouchie.

Well, you choose your battles.

Anyway, I don't get flaked on. I've never been stood up. I guess it's all in the IL, or the calibre of the woman.

Barbies really turn me off because they are the ones that do the flakey stuff and think it's ok. I can smell a Barbie across the room, and don't choose to get involved with them out of experience: their personalities are incompatible, and they are of poor quality ethically/morally because they are so into "pop culture".

You develop a knack for picking them out after some conversations with them. When you talk with the flakes, all the conversation is about are things going on in the news, the latest movie star gossip, what's going on with TV shows... nothing to do with real life, but Hollywood and MTV life. So, what they see on TV, read in Cosmo, and hear about actors becomes their reality. Suddenly it's ok to be like the girls in "sex in the city" or to idolize women who get married for a week and get divorced only to get married again a month later.

The second a woman directs a conversation back to pop culture after I've steered it away... *red flag* When she offers that "sex in the city" is one of her favorite TV shows... *red flag* And the third red flag is thrown when she starts going on and on about the personal life of an actor that I've never even heard of. But, I've also been red flagging women that text from their cell phones, too.

You can see how these women live in fantasy worlds created by the media. Since they don't live in my dimension, I wouldn't expect them to be bound by any of the laws of physics that I have here... like the phone making a noise when someone calls it. Respect? Isn't that when refer back to something that has happened in the past for relation to something that is happening or will happen in the future? No, that's retrospect... uh, isn't respect when you inspect something again? Hold on, I'm going to see if my People magizine has a glossary. Nope. Uh, wait, I'll search MTV2's website for it.

 

[squirrels]

Read this thread, if you haven't already.

THAT thread is utterly frightening.

What the fvck are we even doing here?

After reading that, and some of the sh!t floating around by the "masters", I honestly feel so emasculated and mysogenistic I don't even know where to begin. I'm having a hard time even stomaching this. I honestly want to puke.

What the hell are we all chasing after? The entire female gender is a joke in bad taste. It's like God is playing a cruel joke on us by making us in a way that we desire them and need them to mate and reproduce.

I've honestly been trying to employ a new lifestyle without accepting, or even WANTING to accept, the underlying belief system. Basically, women are worthless.

I honestly HATE women right now...and I actually kinda HATE myself for being attracted to them.

So what's the point of it all? Why am I even here, doing this? Why am I even trying?

 

[Vulpine]

THAT thread is utterly frightening.

What the fvck are we even doing here?

I honestly HATE women right now...and I actually kinda HATE myself for being attracted to them.

So what's the point of it all? Why am I even here, doing this? Why am I even trying?

Whoooah there, buddy. I think we've all been at the same place you are now.

Takeadeepbreathreadyrelaaaaaax!

Now, take some time out and have a little conference with your "little head". Find out what "his" take on women is and average it out between yourselves.
I think "his" take on the whole situation is a lot more optimistic and far less critical of women. Hey, take your little buddy out on a "sport fuqing" rampage and get some wind back in your sails.

All I can tell you is that "women smell nice".

 

[squirrels]

Whoooah there, buddy. I think we've all been at the same place you are now.

Takeadeepbreathreadyrelaaaaaax!

Now, take some time out and have a little conference with your "little head". Find out what "his" take on women is and average it out between yourselves.
I think "his" take on the whole situation is a lot more optimistic and far less critical of women. Hey, take your little buddy out on a "sport fuqing" rampage and get some wind back in your sails.

All I can tell you is that "women smell nice".

I'm just having a hard time reconciling it all, man. It's like...these experiences are turning my world upside down. I can get girls now...but to get the girls I WANT requires a whole new system of beliefs...basically the same sh!t, but ten times as strong...and the old attitudes and beliefs I've clung to through the first phase of this mess...this kind of discussion wipes them ALL out. And it's like this is the first time I've ever SEEN this crap at work and really UNDERSTOOD it.

And I don't like it.

It essentially says that women can't be trusted...AT ALL. Not to return phone calls, not to make dates, not to be interested, not to act on interest when it IS present, NOTHING. They're not even human...I have to run the whole damn show. I have to pretty much PLACE them where I want them in my life...pretty much run game CONSTANTLY whenever they're around. I have to take FULL responsibility for unlocking their potential and making them feel good around me CONSTANTLY, or even if they DO like me, they're just going to flake out later and return to their adrift lifestyle.

It's a lot more effort than I had EVER anticipated. I had assumed that once I "got it", that getting women would be NATURAL, that they would just fall into line and play their role. But the truth is, that without a man, a woman HAS NO role.

Have I been expecting too much all this time? Have I just been stupidly expecting women on a silver platter with minimal effort or exertion? Has this expectation made me lazy?

Stuff like this brings the humanity of women into question. I feel weird having to PLACE a woman into a role instead of letting her make her own decisions.

 

[Bad_Lil'Pixie]

Whoooah there, buddy. I think we've all been at the same place you are now.

Takeadeepbreathreadyrelaaaaaax!

Such compassion, Vul. It is refreshing to see a fellow man help out a buddy that is a little down and out and a self-hating at the moment. Good for you to be open minded, nice example.

*winks* Pix

 

[Vulpine]

Stuff like this brings the humanity of women into question. I feel weird having to PLACE a woman into a role instead of letting her make her own decisions.

Step back and realize that we only tend to dwell on the negative, you never really hear about "the good stuff".

You've seen the news, right? You don't hear about women's good deeds, you only hear that they've murdered someone, are bending someone over in court, or married some mega rich guy and divorced him a year later. This site is like that: you only get the horror stories and worst-case scenarios without any joy and beauty to offset them.

You know that people are people. Some people are scumbags, some are average scumbags, and some are above-average scumbags... er wait... nevermind.

 

[RedPill]

YOUCH! RedPill, that isn't going to make me look any classier, not after my 'devil's advocate' rampage in the cheating thread. Ouchie.

I think the general consensus in that thread supports your arguments in the other thread. People react very negatively when they first discover what BS the guise of morality is, and where it comes from. Or as I like to call it, "taking the red pill"

And as evidenced below, Neo just threw up:

THAT thread is utterly frightening.

What the fvck are we even doing here?

After reading that, and some of the sh!t floating around by the "masters", I honestly feel so emasculated and mysogenistic I don't even know where to begin. I'm having a hard time even stomaching this. I honestly want to puke.

Squirrels, I wasn't intending to throw gas on the fire of your frustrations, it's just that your posts here instantly brought that discussion to mind. Remember, a big part of the reason women tend to be much more ruthless sometimes in the mating game is because they're under the clock, where us guys are not. It's the ultimate leverage for us. We don't have to give a sh!t about them, but they do about us because of time constraints. I don't think women consciously think about this, but it's a huge undercurrent of what motivates them to feel the way they feel.

The social construct of morality (not to be confused with someone's individual values) is usually trumped by one's conditions, whenever the conditions offer a greater benefit.