How often do women reach out to you?

[SargeMaximus]

I think many people on this and similar forums think too straightforwardly about what women want, or what guys need to be/do in order to get women.

Based on my experience, people in general, and women especially, are different in their needs and wants. Guys are generally more simple, we know what we want. But even with guys, preferences vary widely. I'm not attracted to women who are outgoing, I like the shy ones. I also don't like big breasts. Etc. I know many guys who are completely the opposite, they lust over the most popular girl with big boobs.

Women may often disqualify themselves from dating certain types of guys. For example, I have known women who are looking for a guy with whom they don't feel inadequate. Sure, maybe they sometimes daydream about meeting a hot celebrity and falling in love, the same way guys may dream about meeting a porn star and having sex with her. But it's not reality, and most women still know this.

Most women are insecure and if they think a guy is too hot for them, they may very well pass and instead go for safer options. In general, they are terrified of rejection, much more so than guys are. I believe most shy girls never directly reach out to any guy in their entire life, especially if the guy is high value and they think they might not get a favorable response.

So it may be better for my chances to make myself less attractive? In what way? I’m already a shy introvert. I just have amazing style and masculinity

 

[HaleyBaron]

Most women are insecure and if they think a guy is too hot for them, they may very well pass and instead go for safer options. In general, they are terrified of rejection, much more so than guys are. I believe most shy girls never directly reach out to any guy in their entire life, especially if the guy is high value and they think they might not get a favorable response.

This part actually hits home, mostly because I found out that a lot of girls are more shy than you realize. Me and my friend use to wonder why we never got girls back then. We both had abs and a good body, but he complained most of the time that no girl really was going for him. It wasn't until a girl got the courage to finally ask him out, and he went with it. Later in my experience, I started asking girls to do stuff, and they easily agreed. I came to find that in the end, us guys who have the right cards should be making approaches far more with a girl we think looks nice than just waiting for the girl to come. And it wasn't because we were afraid of approaching. We just thought all girls knew a good looking guy when she saw one.

More you know. Just like in gambling, if you got a good hand, use it.

 

[SargeMaximus]

This part actually hits home, mostly because I found out that a lot of girls are more shy than you realize. Me and my friend use to wonder why we never got girls back then. We both had abs and a good body, but he complained most of the time that no girl really was going for him. It wasn't until a girl got the courage to finally ask him out, and he went with it. Later in my experience, I started asking girls to do stuff, and they easily agreed. I came to find that in the end, us guys who have the right cards should be making approaches far more with a girl we think looks nice than just waiting for the girl to come. And it wasn't because we were afraid of approaching. We just thought all girls knew a good looking guy when she saw one.

More you know. Just like in gambling, if you got a good hand, use it.

Except I approached hundreds of women to no avail.

 

[HaleyBaron]

Except I approached hundreds of women to no avail.

I think it's a matter of intent and being aware of who to approach. I'm very picky about who I want, so I vet my choices before going in. I also know what I want, so if a girl doesn't fit it, I don't go for her. I don't think of it as approaching until you hit type of game. For me, I have needs, and if I like a girl who may fulfill them, I reach out to her. I don't get high amount of variety of girls, but I can pull one every week while having two regulars on the side. I work all week, then use the weekend to get a girl to do a ONS with. My tastes vary and I sometimes like someone one week and one another. Lately, I've been in the mood to smash a middle eastern girl or an indian. They have nice dark bodies without the attitude of a black girl. And tend to not be as fat or other negative traits. So when I go out this weekend, I will be looking for those types of girls.

 

[AureliusMaximus]

And money doesnt give happiness.

Lol that is not true. It does indeed give you more happiness. Ask the beggar on the street if you're still in doubt.

 

[allergictobs]

So it may be better for my chances to make myself less attractive? In what way? I’m already a shy introvert. I just have amazing style and masculinity

I wouldn't say that. Maybe making yourself less intimidating or more easy-going would be more like it. But this may be easier said than done, especially if it goes against your nature.

The older I've got, the more I've learned to think that it's all about the vibe that you are sending. A guy can be hot, but if he is a serious introvert, he is going to struggle with women. Vice versa, a guy with mediocre looks and value can still get tons of girls if he is very easy-going and makes life fun for the people around him, girls especially.

 

[HaleyBaron]

I wouldn't say that. Maybe making yourself less intimidating or more easy-going would be more like it. But this may be easier said than done, especially if it goes against your nature.

The older I've got, the more I've learned to think that it's all about the vibe that you are sending. A guy can be hot, but if he is a serious introvert, he is going to struggle with women. Vice versa, a guy with mediocre looks and value can still get tons of girls if he is very easy-going and makes life fun for the people around him, girls especially.

Another story along this line: during one of my dry spells, I would go out to bars every weekend by myself and drink. It was hard weeks at work, so I didn't want to be around anyone. Just vibe and have the bar as my background. I was very introverted during this time, despite dressing well. I did get some girls to talk to me, but it was always casual and she could tell I was not feeling into her. Obviously I didnt give the energy that I was up. The James Bond vibe doesn't always work with most women.

On the fourth week of this miserable project deadline, I finished it. I was happy as hell. I felt a great weight off my shoulders. So the night I went out on Friday, I just went to the dance floor and started dancing. At the time, no one was really dancing and they all stayed near the bar. The moment I started getting into it, others joined the floor. Had a group of girls come near me, which was weird. I don't know why they didn't go to the jacked beefcakes standing at the bar. They were clearly far more fit than me. The moment one of them pulled me to her and we made out, it suddenly popped in my head.

This is just my experience.

 

[AureliusMaximus]

How often do women reach out to you?

It happens to me over the months, Not often but it do happen. When I was working as bartender tho it was like a few times a day on every shift i had; giving out their numbers and asking for mine or even a date directly. I didn't even need to ask for the numbers.

I guess it has to do a lot with social settings which women cares at lot about and as a bartender you are by default socially approachable and it is accepted socially that women do walk up to you there and even makes the first move.

Women tend to stick to the social code/norms so in more normal settings they would never do that unless they really fancy you in some way..

 

[SargeMaximus]

I wouldn't say that. Maybe making yourself less intimidating or more easy-going would be more like it. But this may be easier said than done, especially if it goes against your nature.

The older I've got, the more I've learned to think that it's all about the vibe that you are sending. A guy can be hot, but if he is a serious introvert, he is going to struggle with women. Vice versa, a guy with mediocre looks and value can still get tons of girls if he is very easy-going and makes life fun for the people around him, girls especially.

Yeah I’m not here to make peoples life easier. Especially since people make life hard for me.

 

[PRW63]

Women can make their own money and don't care about your job, unless you are top 1% of income/net worth.

That's a MGTOW, BlackPill exaggeration. If it were true only 1% of the male population would have "a woman" and 99% would die alone. The human race would end,...no babies. The welfare systems would not be full of women with 6-8 kids from 3-4 different Baby Daddys who neither him nor her have a dime to their name. Even if they aren't that extreme "the poor" pump out way more babies than the rich 1% do,...so someone clearly got laid. Even if she kept it with one guy, and may even be married,...they along with "the masses" like them pumping out the kids are often poor as dirt or barely middle-class.

 

[PRW63]

But when you've been deprived of something for so long, that it becomes all you think about, it's hard for it to not be the focus.

Making it the focus is keeping you from getting it. You treat women as just an addition to your life instead of the focus,...you'll actually get them and won't be deprived.

 

[SW15]

That's a MGTOW, BlackPill exaggeration. If it were true only 1% of the male population would have "a woman" and 99% would die alone. The human race would end,...no babies. The welfare systems would not be full of women with 6-8 kids from 3-4 different Baby Daddys who neither him nor her have a dime to their name. Even if they aren't that extreme "the poor" pump out way more babies than the rich 1% do,...so someone clearly got laid. Even if she kept it with one guy, and may even be married,...they along with "the masses" like them pumping out the kids are often poor as dirt or barely middle-class.

SMV is a combination of looks, money, status, and persona. There are other ways to get laid besides money.

An upper middle class guy making $100,000-149,999 isn't anything special to a woman if he's got nothing else going for him besides salary.

 

[oc16]

I've been in the dating world for over 20 years. Dating guru Corey Wayne is 100% spot on. If a woman likes you, she will help you.

What does he mean by help?

No, they won't hand you their phone number or ask you out. However they will usually initiate contact 70% of the time and put themselves in your proximity hoping you will talk to them.

If you see a hot woman over and over at the gym and everytime you walk by her she acts like you don't exist, guess What?

She is not interested in you, she is NOT shy or playing hard to get.

Even shy women will find a way to somehow look at you.

Let's say there is a cute woman and you got her phone number. You had a few texts back and forth and you sent the last text.

In my experience, if she is interested.....she will usually initiate contact in the next string of communication.

A low interest woman will usually respond to you if you initiate, but only out of politeness.

It never fails.....just about every woman I have met at a bar, event, online and where it felt like I was doing MOST of the contact.....You guessed it. It NEVER went anywhere.

Woman truly are like cats!

 

[HaleyBaron]

They are like cats. More story time! At a party, I was talking with my friend as we are drinking. There's this girl who moved close to me. I knew her, we were acquaintances in our friend circle. I was sitting in a chair and her next to me. She starts poking my exposed arms, as I was wearing a tanktop. Instead of acknowledging her, I ignored her the entire time. The reason I didn't react is because I wanted to know if she was just doing it to feel my muscles or was into me. After two minutes of continuing to it, I knew then she was into me. So later that night, I approached her, pulled her to another location, and made out with her.

I'm still learning, but I think the real skill is knowing when the woman shows interest. This doesn't work for all guys of course.