How often Do Women Approach You in The Bar/Nightclub?

B80

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 18, 2017
Messages
966
Reaction score
692
In this case it happened often, I mean girls getting very close to me or slightly touching me while waiting at the bar, plus plenty of eye contact and smiles.

But it happened ONLY when I was in shape and decently dressed, so again you need to match a certain threeshold....it's not "club works" the point.
I'm 42 but in good shape/ripped, 6"2, above average looks etc. Last few times I went out last year, had a few incidents of much younger looking women - 25 under, rubbing into me on dance floor, hanging around for a while when there was clearly loads of space around.

Also on other occasions come over and stood near me in a quiet bar, looking over constantly. Once aware of these things, women/or at least some women make it quite obvious. No doubt some are shyer and won;t give signals so clearly. Remember 2 girls was going well and when they asked and I told them my age they were horrified and scuttled off :D. So now don;t tend to mention it, avoid the question if they do ask, or say something silly, which is easy enough in a bar environment. It seems to make them even more persistent/inquisitive/interested, maybe as not playing their game, withholding information etc.

Didn;t notice this as much in my 20's maybe as too drunk or was just shy in general, skinny etc so body language/vibe not as attractive.
 
Last edited:

Machine10033

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 29, 2017
Messages
793
Reaction score
1,095
Age
43
Recently I caught up with a buddy of mine in an effort to finally start making male friends, he started talking about going to the Pontoon Bar over in the city and he mentioned that the chicks there are really "horny" and one of them even approached him and sat on his lap.

In my head i thought he was lying, but I have never been to a bar or nightclub at night so I don't reqlly have any personal experiences. I'm also planning on going alone to the bar.

I'm wondering has anyone experienced this at a bar or club, how often does it happen?
I had it happen a lot.... usually it’s an an aggressive chick with a double digit body count that I have zero interest in. In 20 years of being at this I can recall 3 that were worth taking home. Ironically they all were on the mend from a break up...
 

SW15

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 31, 2020
Messages
13,312
Reaction score
11,281
Similar to IOIs or approach invitations, girls approach me isn't something I can set my watch too. Off rip, a girl who is going to approach you is 1. Masculine 2. Party girl/bar star - Drunk or on drugs. If she approaches you, it's likely not her first rodeo. She approaches men. Likely is loose. Alternatively, likely a party girl.

When I first started game, a girl approaching was a nice change of pace cause its a astronomical outlier. WOMEN DON'T. YOU as a man can looks max, have swag, get swolle, lift, and get decked out. No guarantee but you increase probability of success. That's it. Higher probability for IOIs. Approach invitations. Maybe getting approached.

Personally, I rather pursue and approach. I don't like masculine women.
Agree that women who approach are either masculine women or party women/bar stars. It's better to get strong body language indicating openness to being approached rather than the actual direct approach.
 

SW15

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 31, 2020
Messages
13,312
Reaction score
11,281
I'm 42 but in good shape/ripped, 6"2, above average looks etc. Last few times I went out last year, had a few incidents of much younger looking women - 25 under, rubbing into me on dance floor, hanging around for a while when there was clearly loads of space around.
6'2", fit, and 42 has a definite market. Women in their 30s probably will get rumbling ovaries over you.
 

B80

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 18, 2017
Messages
966
Reaction score
692
6'2", fit, and 42 has a definite market. Women in their 30s probably will get rumbling ovaries over you.
Yeah, I did ok on Tinder prior to putting up topless pics, but things accelerated after I bit the bullet with my modesty/cringyness and put up topless pics, so defo has an effect! I was considering reducing my age on there, as get matches with girls in early 20's, but imagine many/most put a filter on so I don;t get a lookin with many in their 20's. But then again that seems a bit weird/creepy, but a little annoying none the less! Get looks/attention from women in 20's when out, particularly on beech during summer. Well worth time investment for younger guys ime, who its maybe more 'acceptable' to approach women on beaches...

Grey hair sprouting more and crows lines appearing, so guess this is stages of the 'soft' wall for men people sometimes mention :D.
 
Last edited:

B80

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 18, 2017
Messages
966
Reaction score
692
if you’re a good looking guy then almost guaranteed a 6 or below will approach you on the dancefloor and start wriggling her ass on you. 7 or above much rarer because they are usually too busy being approached themselves, guarded by her friends, or mate-guarded by betas. These women will shoot you inviting looks instead if they like you, then it’s up to you to busta move.
You can be way more direct than daygame so it’s fun.
my experience too with mates and myself over the past couple of decades. Generally 5 or 6's, sometimes 7 then approach/knock into you etc on nights out.
 

dk1990S111

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 7, 2014
Messages
648
Reaction score
201
Location
Los Angeles
Best luck I had was when like firstborn said, went with some buddys not expecting to get laid just went to a bar to have a good time. Didn’t get to shower after going to the gym, just put some pants on and went (maybe pheromones?).

Hottest girl in the bar approached me and probably would have come home with me but we got there in a party bus. Got her number but never heard anything when I texted her a few days later. Like someone said she was just trying to get laid because she just found out her bf cheated on her. Oh well. Was still awesome having other guys at the bar noticing that the hottest girl there was throwing herself at me lol
 

Mike32ct

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 22, 2007
Messages
8,105
Reaction score
4,716
Location
Eastern Time Zone where it's always really late
Got approached off and on at my looks peak around 2005-ish.

The funniest approach I received from a chick...

"Hi, you're a good looking guy. You should go find a girl and...."

<She made a F-ing sign by repeatedly sliding her right index finger in and out of her left fist>

<I nearly spit out of my drink lol.>

Fast forward to 2022, I can barely get the bartender to acknowledge my existence so I can order a drink.
 

Am Shaegar

Don Juan
Joined
Jul 28, 2021
Messages
52
Reaction score
50
Age
36
I'm wondering has anyone experienced this at a bar or club, how often does it happen?
Constantly, but I also have to say that the majority of my times in bars, nightclubs and other event locations was when I was working security. The frequency of this behavior rises with how much the enviroment of the location tolerates it that women get wasted and act out. Low light and a certain distance to their place of living are also important factors.
 

Zimbabwe

Banned
Joined
Aug 29, 2021
Messages
2,388
Reaction score
3,099
Age
28
Constantly, but I also have to say that the majority of my times in bars, nightclubs and other event locations was when I was working security. The frequency of this behavior rises with how much the enviroment of the location tolerates it that women get wasted and act out. Low light and a certain distance to their place of living are also important factors.
I really wonder why alcohol gives women the confidence to approach.
 

Am Shaegar

Don Juan
Joined
Jul 28, 2021
Messages
52
Reaction score
50
Age
36
I really wonder why alcohol gives women the confidence to approach.
Besides the physical effect alcohol has on the human body it gives women a "get free from prison" card for their own ego, everything they do under the influence of alcohol or other drugs can be denied. A lot of young women and teenage girls in the "party scene" become addicts not to the substance but the excuses it allows them. During my twenties I had contact with a girl through school and work and at least once a month and especially during festival/holiday season she would call me in the night and beg to come and **** her, one time even furiously masturbating, everytime totally drunk of course. The next moring she wanted to know nothing of me or feigned memory loss. Yet the times I saw her during work in an event location, I always saw her empyting entire bottles on her own the moment she came to the venue. Thank god that she was kinda ugly or I would have destroyed her on one of these nights despite knowing that the moring would be ugly. Anyway talking with other people about this behavior, their reaction was just "oh thats just Saskia, she acts out when she is drunk and dosn't know how much to drink".

Another "fun" experience was a student party from a university that had mostly law students and ongoing police cadets. While dealing with an aggressive drunkard who wanted to leave through the fire exit, which would have triggered the fire alarm, I was suddenly attacked by a group of girls from behind for to this day unknown reasons. They had no relationship to the drunkard and were in no way involved in the original situation. They hurt themselves and each other more while trying to hurt me and they quickly ended their assault after one girl got fisted in the face by me after she spit into my eyes. The usual aftermath happened with angry parents calling the company I was working for and the girls trying to sue me, including girls I have no memories of seeing, for assaulting them of course. Nothing came of it because I have a good legal protection insurance and was smart enough to get other male party guests as eye witnesses. The state attorny dropped my counter sues basically with the words "girls just wanted to have fun and over did it".

Saddest moments were the girls who offered me everything to be let in backstage to their favorite band with their boyfriends directly behind them. These guys were the spitting image of the Wojak meme. The company I was working for even had an entire female crew reserved for events in which Chippendales-knock-off-groups were performing because even the most ugly white knight beta guy would be raped by the women who get wasted at these events.
 

In2theGame

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 17, 2005
Messages
2,194
Reaction score
1,144
Age
41
Location
New York City
It really depends on the guy and the vibe he's giving off but I can only speak for myself. I have been approached countless times at the bar's & lounges. I don't go to clubs and never really liked them that much at all so I avoided them. It also depends on age range, Older Women are usually more aggressive with their approaches but younger Women can be just as aggressive but not as "obvious" if that makes sense.

Even now, I get approached and "Opened" by Women when I am out with my Girlfriend alone or if I'm out with my Girlfriend and her other cute friend (Which I call my 2nd GF), I STILL get approached right in front of them or sometimes Women will get VERY close to me and "feel it out" to see if I'm alone or if I'm with other Women.

Overall, I don't go out like I used to in my 20's to mid 30's but back then, I'd say from the ages of 27 to 31, Women approaching me like crazy was the norm. Younger looking, Low body fat percentage, etc. Youth is king.

With that said, Being a Man knocking on 40's door, I just have a chill mature vibe now and that still helps attract Women as young as 19 years old.
 
  • Like
Reactions: B80

B80

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 18, 2017
Messages
966
Reaction score
692
It really depends on the guy and the vibe he's giving off but I can only speak for myself. I have been approached countless times at the bar's & lounges. I don't go to clubs and never really liked them that much at all so I avoided them. It also depends on age range, Older Women are usually more aggressive with their approaches but younger Women can be just as aggressive but not as "obvious" if that makes sense.

Even now, I get approached and "Opened" by Women when I am out with my Girlfriend alone or if I'm out with my Girlfriend and her other cute friend (Which I call my 2nd GF), I STILL get approached right in front of them or sometimes Women will get VERY close to me and "feel it out" to see if I'm alone or if I'm with other Women.

Overall, I don't go out like I used to in my 20's to mid 30's but back then, I'd say from the ages of 27 to 31, Women approaching me like crazy was the norm. Younger looking, Low body fat percentage, etc. Youth is king.

With that said, Being a Man knocking on 40's door, I just have a chill mature vibe now and that still helps attract Women as young as 19 years old.

Yeah vibe, presence plays massive part, obviously looks, style as well.

Was never into it all the time, but went through a stint of doing esctacy/mdma a fair bit and used to do well then, not just in dance clubs either where a lot of others were doing it. Used to do well on those nights, assume as like you say, vibe, changes body language, demeanour - happy, having good time etc. Obviously if you do too much and look like a mong, grinding your teeth, gurning etc it won;t work out too well with women that night :D. I don;t condone everyone does it by any means, but for many I think it would yield decent results, just having a few drinks and some mdma, rather than just alcohol. Can really change your mood, outlook in a positive way if used sparingly.


Long time female aqaintance has pretty much stopped drinking now and just does some mdma when she goes out once a month or so. Says it effects her much less mentally the days after compared to alcohol.
 
Last edited:

In2theGame

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 17, 2005
Messages
2,194
Reaction score
1,144
Age
41
Location
New York City
I'd say this, based on my many years of experience with meeting Women out in the night scene (or even the day scene).... (disclaimer: I live in New York City so the nightlife will vary wildly on where you are locate)

If you want to get approached by Women, there are a few key things you need to have going for you...

  1. Muscularity: You need to be somewhat muscular. I'm not talking on being super jacked up like Mike Thurston but your physique has to show some effort. Regardless of what ANYONE tells you, after my own experiences, Women are very visual, contrary to popular belief. I don't care what anyone tells me, I have seen it and experienced it. Women think more in terms of sex just as much if not more than Men.
  2. Clothing: You don't have to wear nice expensive suits, polo's or button ups. You want Women to approach you? Well then you need to be wearing fitted and very snug shirts like Calvin Klein. This goes back to point number 1, Women think sexual and they want to see your sexiness. If you have your body on point, you better believe Women will "accidently" rub against you, grab your arms when they're "innocently" trying to get by you, etc. You need to show off your body.
  3. Smell: Women have a very strong sense of smell. This is straight forward but find a scent/cologne that suits your body's chemistry and Women will stick around you to soak in your masculine scent.
  4. Facial Appearance: There's not a whole lot that you can do about your face, it is what it is however some things that can be done are making sure you have a nice haircut that suits your face. See what facial hair that suits your face as well... Do you look better with a 5 o'clock shadow? do you look better with a grown out beard? etc. Test that out. Make sure your teeth are clean and your breath because after all, you're going to be talking to Women up-close. You don't need a Hollywood smile to attract Women, MANY Men dont have straight teeth, myself included and that never stopped my success. Just make sure you're oral status is clean and fresh. Lastly, make sure your skin looks as youthful as possible.
These are just quick points as I dont have time right now to type more but these should be the main focus when going out and getting Women to be attracted. Also, always remember, Women are always thinking sexual as much if not MORE than Men.
 
Top