how often do girls get asked out?

[gettingthere]

How often do girls you know (or want to know) get asked out?

I asked one girl this once (who I knew, and who I knew has a long term b/f) and she said "hardly ever".

When I pressed her, she admitted that a guy or two had asked her to coffee or something like that in that past year. This girl, attractive, pleasant, had only been asked out once or twice in the past year!

I have another female friend who is hot (also has a b/f). I love walking around with her just to see how guys react, plenty turn their heads. She also dresses like a prostitute, sleazy at least.

I haven't asked her how often she gets asked out, but she has told stories of attempted pick-ups. She mentioned how at a very large impersonal party one guy who she hadn't noticed approached her and said something like "I've been noticing you and just had to meet you." He offered his card and she took it, but later misplaced it which she was grateful for.

That girl I know gets asked out a lot, particularly at parties (several times a night perhaps) - because I have seen it myself.

She is an exception though. I think most girls are like the first girl I mentioned, they get asked out hardly ever.

Anyone else with information about this?

[This message has been edited by gettingthere (edited 11-16-2001).]

 

[neuromancer]

Yeah we need to know what we are up against.

I think women go to clubs and get a lot of bids there.

 

[Wyldfire]

For me, it varies from week to week. It depends on what I'm doing and where I'm going. It's anywhere from 0-5 times a week on average. If I don't go out I don't usually get asked, but if I go out one night I always get at least one offer, usually more. I'm not including the times I have been asked out by co-workers because I don't ever date anyone I work with. Depending on where I work, I sometimes get asked out a lot by coworkers.

 

[penkitten]

my usual is between 0 to 4 on the normal.
sometimes 6 on a good week.

one real good night at a club and i walked out with 17 guys that asked me to dance or buy me a drink , 3 phone numbers a cell number and email address a bouncer signing my arm cause he liked me and one real good breakfast at the waffle house but i didnt take anyone home believe it or not.wanna know what it was/???? a cute little shirt that said boyscouting across the front.

 

[neuromancer]

See...so when we get dinged a lot it's because everyone tries and even average women have egos the size of a small country.

 

[Wyldfire]

Originally posted by neuromancer:
See...so when we get dinged a lot it's because everyone tries and even average women have egos the size of a small country.

Nah...just confidence. Just like with guys, confidence and good self esteem is attractive to the opposite sex. Women who have that get more offers and more choices. No one should take rejection from these kinds of women too personally. It's not that there's something the matter with you, it just means that there is someone else who better fits what she's looking for. If you keep plugging away, eventually you are going to be that better fit. There's a reason why the guys who have learned to adjust their tactics to fit the individual woman meet a lot more success...they are better equipped to pick up on what the woman is looking for and only use the tactics that are going to work well with that particular woman.

For instance...you get the number of a woman at a club who a slew of men are approaching. This gal gets a lot of offers. If you act sort of indifferent and her attention wanders from you and the next guy gives her lots of attention and she eats it up, then you need to give her more of that attention and try to slip in other tactics to see if she reacts favorably or not. Find what works with that woman, use it and take that info and adjust the techniques in a way that is most likely to make you stand out the most. If it's a woman like me...neg hits delivered with razor sharp sarcastic wit that starts off a long playful teasing session will get the guy my number. Calling earlier than most DJs do will raise my interest. Talking longer than 15 minutes on the phone with me isn't a "no-no" because I am a natural conversationalist. If the guy doesn't have much to say, I start things off and convo gets flowing very easily. I can't do without deep, intense and intelligent conversation. I can't get that from someone who tries to be too mysterious or tight lipped. The guy HAS to enjoy talking as much as I do. The "challenge" that works with me is in conversation and debate (not arguing...discussing things and the bantering.) Mental stimulations. What works on me isn't going to work on many other women, though. And besides adjusting things to fit the woman you're after, you have to adjust things so that you are doing the right things to reach your personal goal and meet your needs. If you are a big talker and are never at a loss for words, there is no reason why you HAVE to talk for only 15 minutes on the phone and there's no reason you can't talk about things that matter to you. The last thing you want is to stifle your own needs while doing the DJ thing. I mean, you wouldn't go out and buy a pair of shoes that weren't comfortable on your feet and didn't match your wardrobe just because someone else said they worked perfectly for them. You want a woman that fits YOU, not one that fits Doc Love or some other DJ.

 

[neuromancer]

No, I think it's more of natural body chemistry/physical attraction. So even if you are not the best-looking guy for some reason you physically ring the bells of some women. Of course, if you are tall & handsome you ring more bells but the principle is the same.

No attraction, no relationship. Getting the phone number without getting a date is even worse than getting no phone number at all. She has to like you from the moment she sees you. Getting the phone number doesn't mean she likes you as girls give their phone number sometimes even when not interested.

 

[bclarke675]

From my own observations and the responses of Wyldfire and Penkitten, I'd say that the more opportunities a woman gives herself to be asked out, the more often she is. I know women I'd like to ask out, but I never see them in a situation where it's appropriate to ask for their number or ask them out. There are other women I wouldn't look twice at, but they get propositioned because they put themselves in situations where guys are likely to ask them out. It only makes sense if you think about it.

 

[Irish]

This topic is discussed a lot. I think you have to decide what you purpose for asking someone out is.

For me, I am just myself. If I want to ask someone out for whatever reason, I just do it. It usually doesn't happen until I've spoken to her long enough to know that we will have something to talk about. Now I may get blasted for this, but then I do my own thing. Women, to me, are like books. Sure the flasher attractive cover makes you look at it, but if between the covers, there's no substance, then my interest fades like like a cheap shirt in hot water. However, once inside the book the content can overcome most reasonable outward qualities.

I tend to be a bit sarcastic with my humor, but it's easy to discern if I'm just playing or if I'm serious. If I meet someone that can hold their own in a match of wits (playful verbal sparring), my interest goes up quickly.
By the way, regarding the call rule. Call when you feel like calling. I have never lost interest from a woman that I made a true connection with because I called her the next day. The appropriate amount of time to call her, is the amount of time it takes for you to want to call her. Simple.

If she rejects you for calling too soon, good for her, she didn't waste my time. If she rejects you for waiting too long, good for her again.

The 15 minute rule? Bye,Bye. I talk as long as there is something to say. The point is not to be on the phone or to call someone when there is no point. Dragging conversations on just because you don't want to hang up, or what ever reason you think exists makes you seem like an attention sponge, not good. Just talk as long as there is something real to talk about.

Point being, if you are confident and secure and you know it (clap your hands?) no it just shows. Bottom line, that's all it really takes.


But, that's just my opinion I could be wrong (thanks Dennis)

 

[Wyldfire]

Originally posted by Irish:
This topic is discussed a lot. I think you have to decide what you purpose for asking someone out is.

For me, I am just myself. If I want to ask someone out for whatever reason, I just do it. It usually doesn't happen until I've spoken to her long enough to know that we will have something to talk about. Now I may get blasted for this, but then I do my own thing. Women, to me, are like books. Sure the flasher attractive cover makes you look at it, but if between the covers, there's no substance, then my interest fades like like a cheap shirt in hot water. However, once inside the book the content can overcome most reasonable outward qualities.

I tend to be a bit sarcastic with my humor, but it's easy to discern if I'm just playing or if I'm serious. If I meet someone that can hold their own in a match of wits (playful verbal sparring), my interest goes up quickly.
By the way, regarding the call rule. Call when you feel like calling. I have never lost interest from a woman that I made a true connection with because I called her the next day. The appropriate amount of time to call her, is the amount of time it takes for you to want to call her. Simple.

If she rejects you for calling too soon, good for her, she didn't waste my time. If she rejects you for waiting too long, good for her again.

The 15 minute rule? Bye,Bye. I talk as long as there is something to say. The point is not to be on the phone or to call someone when there is no point. Dragging conversations on just because you don't want to hang up, or what ever reason you think exists makes you seem like an attention sponge, not good. Just talk as long as there is something real to talk about.

Point being, if you are confident and secure and you know it (clap your hands?) no it just shows. Bottom line, that's all it really takes.


But, that's just my opinion I could be wrong (thanks Dennis)

Thank you Sweet Jesus! There IS someone on here who "gets" what I am trying to say! Where the hell do you live, Dennis???? lol

 

[krd]

Wyldfire, I agree that this Irish guy (or Dennis--whichever one's the actual source) could be a valuable asset to our forum. It's refreshing to hear a different point of view from the typical DJ on this site. I don't really care for having to wait five days before I can call a woman, I'd rather just get it over with so I can stop worrying. From reading his profile, he's only posted 27 times as of this writing. It would be interesting to hear if his theories have been field tested, among other things. If you're listening Irish (or Dennis), keep the posts coming!

 

[Wyldfire]

Originally posted by krd:
Wyldfire, I agree that this Irish guy (or Dennis--whichever one's the actual source) could be a valuable asset to our forum. It's refreshing to hear a different point of view from the typical DJ on this site. I don't really care for having to wait five days before I can call a woman, I'd rather just get it over with so I can stop worrying. From reading his profile, he's only posted 27 times as of this writing. It would be interesting to hear if his theories have been field tested, among other things. If you're listening Irish (or Dennis), keep the posts coming!

Irish, Dennis, the boogey man, who cares! lol Someone is saying what I keep saying and it works for him. Here's the deal...if you feel awkward doing any of the DJ things, that's a sure sign that you don't feel comfortable doing things that way. If you don't feel comfortable it's going to show. Take what you like (as in ANY program or game plan) and leave the rest. Even if you "break some of the DJ rules" to fit what you feel at ease with you STILL look confident and relaxed. You should never try to force something you aren't comfortable with because you are just going to crash and burn. I'm not talking about things you just need to practice on, just the things you don't really agree with or like to use.

 

[ACTION]

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by neuromancer:
See...so when we get dinged a lot it's because everyone tries and even average women have egos the size of a small country.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wildfyre:

"Nah...just confidence. Just like with guys, confidence and good self esteem is attractive to the opposite sex. Women who have that get more offers and more choices."

Well I would have to somewhat disagree with this. From what I've seen, most females are not "confident" as much as they are "sooped" up. I would be sooped up also if I got hit on as soon as I stepped out on the street (as I've seen happen to many females).


But beyond that, many females "know" (feel or whatever the fukk) there's only one thing that makes us want them -- as opposed to several reasons why they want us (looks, money, power, etc., etc.). I mean MOST guys would not go out with a butt-ugly female if she was rich. But ask Busta Rhymes if he gets puzzy and he'll tell you "ALL THE TIME!"

(Let's stop giving females more credit than they deserve, OK?)


PS: Nothing against you Wylde.

[This message has been edited by ACTION (edited 11-19-2001).]

 

[Wyldfire]

Originally posted by ACTION:

Sorry, but MOST womens' confidence is based on how other women view them FAR more than how men do. You are assuming that women think like men...most of us not only don't do that, but can't do it. Women are more obsessed with emotionaly security and friendship than sex.

 

[Take No Dirt]

Wyldfire: Women are more obsessed with emotionaly security and friendship than sex.
---------

You just confirmed what I have believed all along. Women love sex just as much as men, but women place feelings and emotions above the phyiscal aspect of a relationship.

[This message has been edited by Take No Dirt (edited 11-19-2001).]

 

[john]

you guys get asked out 6 times a week?
no wonder some girls are so ****y. if i got asked out just once a week, id be as conceited as any player out there.

 

[Wyldfire]

Originally posted by Take No Dirt:
Wyldfire: Women are more obsessed with emotionaly security and friendship than sex.
---------

You just confirmed what I have believed all along. Women love sex just as much as men, but women place feelings and emotions above the phyiscal aspect of a relationship.

[This message has been edited by Take No Dirt (edited 11-19-2001).]

Generally women like sex for different reasons too. It's about emotional closeness with the man mostly. With men it's much more phsyical. A woman finds the emotional closeness the most important with physical pleasure coming in second. Men are just the opposite.

 

[Wyldfire]

john...it's only that frequent for me when I go out. I usually work in the manufacturing industry, and there are MANY men in those environments. However, I won't date co-workers, so I don't even count those offers. At one job in particular, part of my work duties was to deliver and pick up equipment and materials at all workstations. Every night (3rd shift) I was the most visible person in the plant. I both saw and was seen by every person there every shift. I got asked out, propositioned, hit on, flirted with and ogled more times in one night than I could ever believe possible. There were a good 300 men or more just on my shift. The other shifts' workers would usually show up about 15 minutes early, so there were 600 more men who would see me off and on. I'm very outgoing, friendly and pretty easy on the eyes. Had I dated men from work I could have had a date every day easily, possibly a couple some days while working there.

 

[cottonmather0]

An interesting corollary is the idea that women get over breakups more easily than men for the simple reason that they can more easily find someone to replace their ex-boyfriend.

She needs to find a new man? No problem - just go out in public and she'll at least find some prospects. Maybe she doesn't accept any dates, but she knows she can and that makes her feel better. She knows she can replace that guy with a new guy within a week.

Guys, on the other hand, have it tougher. Get dumped? Great find someone else - he can start by going out and risking even more rejection on top of what he was already feeling. Maybe he gets over it, too, but it's a little harder for him because he has to go do it all over again.

 

[Deagleclaw]

Hey Penkitten,

On your very successful night on the town, 17 guys asked you to dance, or offered you a drink. You got 3 phone numbers, 1 email address, and a bouncer to sign your arm... And that's your idea of a successful night out at a club! A successful night being that it was an inexpensive total ego boost evening?

Guys, this is the reason most men fail in picking up women at a club. Because at a bar, the options are always wide open. Bear in mind that she didn't say how many guys asked for HER number and how many times she gave it out.

Most women go to clubs for 1 reason. To get hit on. Whether they admit it or not. Whether the answer is yes or no, every woman likes to be asked. Of course they all say they go to clubs to dance... yeah right. The reason they dance is to advertise what they've got and to get hit on more. That's what dancing is... it's advertising to members of the opposite sex.

For me, a successful night out at a club is not getting multiple women's phone numbers, it's getting a phone number from a woman I actually enjoyed talking to and would like to go out with sometime...


------------------
Your friendly neighbourhood Irishman,
Deagleclaw out