How much she initiates, shows a womans IL

[oc16]

As it's been said time and time again, women will help you when they like you.

Have you ever noticed time after time this common scenario happens:

You were chatting with a woman you met online or texting a woman you perhaps had one or two dates with and you really like.

Perhaps you sent the last text or things have cooled off a bit and you have not heard from her.

You falsely think: Well, perhaps she wants to be chased or if I send another message/text it will rekindle things.

In my 20+ years in the dating world, this never seems to work. Why? Despite what women write and tell you; they do the chasing (not the other way around)

 

[crosscheck1331]

Every time I've succeeded its been because the girl had liked me a little before hand. There's never been a time where I was able to get a girl to like me when she didn't have interest. It didn't matter what I did, or how slick I tried to be - all I did was ANNOY her with my persistence.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

If a woman is truly interested she will find a reason to contact you on a near daily basis. If a woman isn't she will not reply much even if you contact her on a near daily basis.

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

Texting is a validation, being available is not attractive.

 

[Bigpapa]

It clearly depends on the situation , but I agree with you that if she is interested in you she will also engage if things cooled off

her not replying to your last text might also be a sh1t test to see how you react . Becoming needy or remaining attractive .

i am going through a phase like this now , it sucks when she has not replied to you for a couple of days , but in the same time I know that if I maintain my cool and wait for her to re engage I very close to the finish line of the seduction process

seduction is all about navigating through the ups and downs ...

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Texting is a validation, being available is not attractive.

Another "rule" that doesn't hold much water in real life.

Amazing people equate texting 24/7 the same as sending 2 or 3 texts spread throughout the day.

The only texting rule that you need to follow is not to chase a response. If you send a text and don't get a response don't send another until you do.

Now I see why people struggle. Nuances escape them and they are determined to believe in these made up rules that don't really matter much in the long run that typically hurt more than help them.

 

[TheProspect]

In my experience, women do want to be chased.

Paradoxically, however, chasing them usually makes them lose interest or attraction, as intrigue often grows with time and space.

They will tell you they don't like games nor men who play hard to get, but women want a desirable man that is not easily had. If you chase a women to the point she perceives you're devoting so much of your time and attention to her early on, it signals neediness and a lack of options. If she's not needy herself, this will tank her interest level.

It's also important to distinguish a man chasing versus pursuing.

The difference between the two being the ability to lead and the apparent interest level of the woman.

I see chasing as a guy who can't take a hint or read a woman well but continues to think he has a shot at her, or a clingy guy who initiates everything from a place of neediness. A guy who puts too much time and attention into a particular woman. If a woman perceives you're more needy than she is, not only will her attraction drop, but the power dynamic shifts in her favour and we have enough stories on here to know how that will play out.

On the other hand, I see pursuing as a man who sees something that piques his curiosity and he takes action to approach because of it. He is operating from a place of boldness, security, desire, and a willingness to lead. After the first few meet ups, he will continue to lead the interactions, but he won't chase if he smells low enough interest.


Regarding women chasing men, in my experience, only needy and neurotic women chase and initiate the majority of interactions.

It's normal for a women, once invested, to occasionally initiate conversations. But if she feels like she has to "chase" a relationship, and she's a secure women, she is going to lose interest -- because the man either isn't leading or obviously isn't too into her. In any event, her energy and time would be better placed elsewhere. @BeExcellent probably would say something similar along these lines.

A secure, higher quality woman with options wants to be pursued by a man who displays interest in her and can lead.

A needy, insecure woman wants to be chased and her neuroticism will cause her to inadvertently do it if you give her enough space.


TL;DR:
Gauge a women's interest level by her receptivity, not her level of initiation -- especially early on. A secure, interested quality women will be receptive to your leadership when you take action and pursue. A needy, insecure interested woman will "chase" -- she needs the validation now, hence the initiation.

Every interested chick that chased me turned out to be needy or eventually displayed major red flags, low quality. The higher quality chicks that were interested in me required a bit of work, effort, and the ability to lead in my part. Nothing easily had is worth having.

Women seduce; men pursue.

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

Another "rule" that doesn't hold much water in real life.

Amazing people equate texting 24/7 the same as sending 2 or 3 texts spread throughout the day.

The only texting rule that you need to follow is not to chase a response. If you send a text and don't get a response don't send another until you do.

Now I see why people struggle. Nuances escape them and they are determined to believe in these made up rules that don't really matter much in the long run and typically hurt more than help them.

This is a weak comment, "Now I see why people struggle", don't have an appetite for conflict, you should keep being vague, talk about people and not specific people, shows that Beta mindset at work.

Personally, I do what works for me and I communicate that, if you want to neg me over that, it just puts on display the frustration in your own life... Also, I don't make rulings, in fact, you seem to be the one making rulings, certainly so since your a mod, starting conflicts in every thread that will go nowhere because we're on the internet. Go cower in the corner with your mod buddies.

 

[Bigpapa]

In my experience, women do want to be chased.

Paradoxically, however, chasing them usually makes them lose interest or attraction, as intrigue often grows with time and space.

They will tell you they don't like games nor men who play hard to get, but women want a desirable man that is not easily had. If you chase a women to the point she perceives you're devoting so much of your time and attention to her early on, it signals neediness and a lack of options. If she's not needy herself, this will tank her interest level.

It's also important to distinguish a man chasing versus pursuing.

The difference between the two being the ability to lead and the apparent interest level of the woman.

I see chasing as a guy who can't take a hint or read a woman well but continues to think he has a shot at her, or a clingy guy who initiates everything from a place of neediness. A guy who puts too much time and attention into a particular woman. If a woman perceives you're more needy than she is, not only will her attraction drop, but the power dynamic shifts in her favour and we have enough stories on here to know how that will play out.

On the other hand, I see pursuing as a man who sees something that piques his curiosity and he takes action to approach because of it. He is operating from a place of boldness, security, desire, and a willingness to lead. After the first few meet ups, he will continue to lead the interactions, but he won't chase if he smells low enough interest.


Regarding women chasing men, in my experience, only needy and neurotic women chase and initiate the majority of interactions.

It's normal for a women, once invested, to occasionally initiate conversations. But if she feels like she has to "chase" a relationship, and she's a secure women, she is going to lose interest -- because the man either isn't leading or obviously isn't too into her. In any event, her energy and time would be better placed elsewhere. @BeExcellent probably would say something similar along these lines.

A secure, higher quality woman with options wants to be pursued by a man who displays interest in her and can lead.

A needy, insecure woman wants to be chased and her neuroticism will cause her to inadvertently do it if you give her enough space.


TL;DR:
Gauge a women's interest level by her receptivity, not her level of initiation -- especially early on. A secure, interested quality women will be receptive to your leadership when you take action and pursue. A needy, insecure interested woman will "chase" -- she needs the validation now, hence the initiation.

Every interested chick that chased me turned out to be needy or eventually displayed major red flags, low quality. The higher quality chicks that were interested in me required a bit of work, effort, and the ability to lead in my part. Nothing easily had is worth having.

Women seduce; men pursue.

very hands on response

 

[Black Widow Void]

Having once managed a music store, I noticed a difference between women that were available and women that chased.

I'll admit to being lazy and picking some low hanging fruit a times. And women that make it too easy were typically neurotic, damaged and only good for 'lite hearted fun.' These types were no one that you'd want for the long-term.

On the other hand, if a woman lingered and frequented the store more than usual, but offered no further overture, they are wanting to be pursued and expect the man to take the initiative. These types were typically more well-balanced and someone you could usually take out to meet your friends and family.

The 'digital world' of communication (including phone calls) can be a bit different. If I initiate and she is wanting to stay on the phone.... quick to text back... or her e-mails are longer than mine... this is usually a good sign. If she's blowing up your phone (and you are doing little work toward her) this is typically a bad sign.

Although many forum members would 'claim' that women chase them or that they are above pursuing women...
they are either going after low hanging fruit or they are simply pretending to be 'that image' (and they aren't) because that's what they read in some misguided pick-up book.

 

[Bigpapa]

Having once managed a music store, I noticed a difference between women that were available and women that chased. I'll admit to being lazy and picking some low hanging fruit a times. And women that make it too easy were typically neurotic, damaged and only good for 'lite hearted fun.' These types were no one that you'd want for the long-term. On the other hand, if a woman lingered and frequented the store more than usual, but offered no further overture, they are wanting to be pursued and expect the man to take the initiative. These types were typically more well-balanced and someone you could usually take out to meet your friends and family. The 'digital world' of communication (including phone calls) can be a bit different. If I initiate and she is wanting to stay on the phone.... quick to text back... or her e-mails are longer than mine... this is usually a good sign. If she's blowing up your phone (and you are doing little work toward her) this is typically a bad sign. Although many forum members would 'claim' that women chase them or that they are above pursuing women... they are either going after low hanging fruit or they are simply pretending to be 'that image' (and they aren't) because that's what they read in some misguided pick-up book.

Having once managed a music store, I noticed a difference between women that were available and women that chased. I'll admit to being lazy and picking some low hanging fruit a times. And women that make it too easy were typically neurotic, damaged and only good for 'lite hearted fun.' These types were no one that you'd want for the long-term. On the other hand, if a woman lingered and frequented the store more than usual, but offered no further overture, they are wanting to be pursued and expect the man to take the initiative. These types were typically more well-balanced and someone you could usually take out to meet your friends and family. The 'digital world' of communication (including phone calls) can be a bit different. If I initiate and she is wanting to stay on the phone.... quick to text back... or her e-mails are longer than mine... this is usually a good sign. If she's blowing up your phone (and you are doing little work toward her) this is typically a bad sign. Although many forum members would 'claim' that women chase them or that they are above pursuing women... they are either going after low hanging fruit or they are simply pretending to be 'that image' (and they aren't) because that's what they read in some misguided pick-up book.

Very well put .

I see a lot of guys in genera who did not really do anything , besides throwing some texts , that perceive women as not interested , when in reality they are in stand by and are awaiting for you to man up and do something about it

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Having once managed a music store, I noticed a difference between women that were available and women that chased.

I'll admit to being lazy and picking some low hanging fruit a times. And women that make it too easy were typically neurotic, damaged and only good for 'lite hearted fun.' These types were no one that you'd want for the long-term.

On the other hand, if a woman lingered and frequented the store more than usual, but offered no further overture, they are wanting to be pursued and expect the man to take the initiative. These types were typically more well-balanced and someone you could usually take out to meet your friends and family.

The 'digital world' of communication (including phone calls) can be a bit different. If I initiate and she is wanting to stay on the phone.... quick to text back... or her e-mails are longer than mine... this is usually a good sign. If she's blowing up your phone (and you are doing little work toward her) this is typically a bad sign.

Although many forum members would 'claim' that women chase them or that they are above pursuing women...
they are either going after low hanging fruit or they are simply pretending to be 'that image' (and they aren't) because that's what they read in some misguided pick-up book.

This is an excellent post...typically women who blow up your phone are the ones who will not give you any room to breathe in the relationship either. They will want to see you all the time and basically smother you. They also will require a lot of attention and time.

The ones who text back and will initiate here and there and the ones who are interested but understand healthy relationship dynamics and are not going to smother you but will enjoy spending time with you and allow things to grow naturally into something if that is the route it goes.

 

[darksprezzatura]

Before breaking the ice/hooking up:

The balance of power is on her side.

Usually, mentally stable, interested women will rarely initiate. They'll position themselves in a way that makes it easy for you to approach.

After breaking the ice/hooking up:

The balance of power is on your side.

Usually, mentally stable, interested women will initiate more often than you.

 

[BeExcellent]

In my experience, women do want to be chased.

Paradoxically, however, chasing them usually makes them lose interest or attraction, as intrigue often grows with time and space.

They will tell you they don't like games nor men who play hard to get, but women want a desirable man that is not easily had. If you chase a women to the point she perceives you're devoting so much of your time and attention to her early on, it signals neediness and a lack of options. If she's not needy herself, this will tank her interest level.

It's also important to distinguish a man chasing versus pursuing.

The difference between the two being the ability to lead and the apparent interest level of the woman.

I see chasing as a guy who can't take a hint or read a woman well but continues to think he has a shot at her, or a clingy guy who initiates everything from a place of neediness. A guy who puts too much time and attention into a particular woman. If a woman perceives you're more needy than she is, not only will her attraction drop, but the power dynamic shifts in her favour and we have enough stories on here to know how that will play out.

On the other hand, I see pursuing as a man who sees something that piques his curiosity and he takes action to approach because of it. He is operating from a place of boldness, security, desire, and a willingness to lead. After the first few meet ups, he will continue to lead the interactions, but he won't chase if he smells low enough interest.


Regarding women chasing men, in my experience, only needy and neurotic women chase and initiate the majority of interactions.

It's normal for a women, once invested, to occasionally initiate conversations. But if she feels like she has to "chase" a relationship, and she's a secure women, she is going to lose interest -- because the man either isn't leading or obviously isn't too into her. In any event, her energy and time would be better placed elsewhere. @BeExcellent probably would say something similar along these lines.

A secure, higher quality woman with options wants to be pursued by a man who displays interest in her and can lead.

A needy, insecure woman wants to be chased and her neuroticism will cause her to inadvertently do it if you give her enough space.


TL;DR:
Gauge a women's interest level by her receptivity, not her level of initiation -- especially early on. A secure, interested quality women will be receptive to your leadership when you take action and pursue. A needy, insecure interested woman will "chase" -- she needs the validation now, hence the initiation.

Every interested chick that chased me turned out to be needy or eventually displayed major red flags, low quality. The higher quality chicks that were interested in me required a bit of work, effort, and the ability to lead in my part. Nothing easily had is worth having.

Women seduce; men pursue.

This ^^^ 100%. Exactly.

 

[crosscheck1331]

I sometimes feel like the need to learn "game" is overblown. I know that probably sounds controversial but I have two different examples I can draw from that happened. 1) Last year I was at a lounge/bar for this Halloween thing. I was with a friend and he was talking to this pair of girls - I was by myself at a table with drink. Next to me was this group of chicks ; they were just dancing by themselves. One of them came over and asked if I could take a photo of her and her friends. I said sure and did. I gave back the camera and asked if the photo came out well. She said yeah and I was like Oh ok no problem then. I turned around to walk back when the girl stopped me and said she wanted me to take a photo with a group. I laughed and said okay then afterwards one of the girls started talking to me. I realized what had happened; one of the girls liked me and asking me to take a photo was the plan in order for us to talk.

2) Another time I was at a bar with another friend - we were just sitting there drinking and watching basketball. This group of chicks came in - they were celebrating the birthday of one of the girls. They didn't sit down but they positioned themselves behind us, they were standing. After a little while one of them touched me on the shoulder and goes "So what are we drinking here?" Then we started talking and she told me her name and that she was celebrating her friends bday blah blah. Started like that and before I knew it I was talking to the entire group.

In each of these situations I literally did nothing. I did not run any sort of game whatsoever and I was well received. I think pre-selection is important and really that is what makes or breaks any sort of approach - I know this might be controversial but it is my opinion and a conclusion I've come to after much observation and personal experience.

I forgot to add - yes I asked for numbers and I got them and talked and hung out with said girls in the future.

 

[Bigpapa]

@crosscheck1331 congrats , it means that you are an attractive guy

learning game has its benefits , as not all girls are direct as those in your examples , so you will miss a lot of opportunities and great gals this way .

in addition to that , game is good as a framework on how to deal with girls , especially those you like a lot and your brain freezes , or you become emotional towards to . We all start going a little bit crazy when talking with a really hot chick .

I agree though that what is publicized as game is a lot of mental masturbation that makes guys feel inferior on purpose

 

[soulforge]

I have a ****ed up situation like this currently.

The balance of power slightly was beginning to tip over to her.

I arranged a sex meet with her, she met me after work, svcked me off.. Gave me a hand job.. I left.. She left...

I haven't initiated any contact with her and neither has she initiated contact with me..

It's been 8 days now.. I am certain she was expecting me to reach out to her... But I chose not to do that.

The more you initiate and chase, the more they run away!

 

[BackInTheGame78]

@crosscheck1331 congrats , it means that you are an attractive guy

learning game has its benefits , as not all girls are direct as those in your examples , so you will miss a lot of opportunities and great gals this way .

in addition to that , game is good as a framework on how to deal with girls , especially those you like a lot and your brain freezes , or you become emotional towards to . We all start going a little bit crazy when talking with a really hot chick .

I agree though that what is publicized as game is a lot of mental masturbation that makes guys feel inferior on purpose

Game matters when women are on the fence. You will always have women who are definitive yes and always have women who are definitive no.

Depending on how attractive you are, the range can be very wide on the remaining "middle" women who can be on either side of the fence. Good game helps pull these women further over to your side while bad game pushes them further away from your side.

I would say in MOST cases for normal guys fence women where game works will range between 40-60%. So if a normal looking guy has 20% no and 20% yes women, there are 60% "fence" women where your game determines how many of those you can secure.

Additionally proper game long term helps to ensure the women who are interested in you stay interested in you and you don't make common mistakes that lessens interest.

 

[DreamAgain]

Well played @crosscheck1331, that's how it's done. You are like a tiger in the forrest, pick a spot and let the prey come to you .

 

[crosscheck1331]

I don't think I do anything special guys and truthfully that post wasn't like a pat on the back or a subtle brag. It happens sometimes - it's not a regular thing. Honestly I don't think I am really all that great. Was just to show how it simply happens - There are other instances and there have probably been many other situations that weren't as direct that I happened to miss. If it happens to me i'm sure it happens to most guys, they just aren't aware of the opportunities. You basically have to keep your eyes peeled, but the point was if the girl had decided she liked you for whatever reason you will usually know (and often times it is absent of any kind of game). Typically it won't be this huge guessing game that spans for months etc.

Yes, keeping them interested afterwards is another topic for discussion but I have found that we already know the answers usually. We know how it is we should act but often overthink things. For me it's to maintain a strong persona - I generally try to stay the same as I did in the beginning. I am pretty easy going & carefree most of the time but very direct in serious matters. I've found this is what women like - they like a guy who is easy going but is still "the guy" when it comes down to it - you have to lead her when need be and not shrink in her presence.