CornbreadFed
Master Don Juan
It seems like it’s every day for me except during her period. Is that normal? I’ve heard it doesn’t start to decline until a kid comes.
How much sex is normal in a LTR/marriage after the honey moon phase
- Thread starter CornbreadFed
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SW15
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You're doing better than average.
Sex frequency drops as relationships progress. Below is what appears to be close to a general timeline of how things work in a longer lasting coupling scenario.
A guy typical gets laid after 3-5 dates. Sometime after that, a exclusive relationship forms. During the first 6-12 months of a relationship, the sex is frequent. It might mellow out a bit after that but still high if the relationship is good enough to remain coupled. After the slight mellowing, the man eventually proposes marriage, an engagement and wedding happens. After the wedding, sex is regular for the first 1-3 years.
By the 3 year anniversary of the wedding day (typically 5-6 years after the couple has first gotten together), the sex will noticeably diminish even if the couple is childless.
Sex frequency drops as relationships progress. Below is what appears to be close to a general timeline of how things work in a longer lasting coupling scenario.
A guy typical gets laid after 3-5 dates. Sometime after that, a exclusive relationship forms. During the first 6-12 months of a relationship, the sex is frequent. It might mellow out a bit after that but still high if the relationship is good enough to remain coupled. After the slight mellowing, the man eventually proposes marriage, an engagement and wedding happens. After the wedding, sex is regular for the first 1-3 years.
By the 3 year anniversary of the wedding day (typically 5-6 years after the couple has first gotten together), the sex will noticeably diminish even if the couple is childless.
Bingo-Player
Master Don Juan
Really depends on the individuals and how keen they are too satisfy each other and also what the baseline attraction was like when they met
You have to remember there is a hell of a lot of couples out there who are together by default or purely for the sake of an easy life
These types are merely cohabiting and naturally do not want to have sex with each other much
One of my mates (33) is in a 5 year LTR with was was originally his next door neighbour (convienceship) she was also a single mother age 35
After around year 1 , he started telling me the sex was drying up and neither of them could be bothered with it
4 years after that he says they get down to it around every 3-4 months or birthdays and Christmas
The core issue is he is into freaky & dirty stuff like rimming and she is a missionary and done type of gal
Their lives are so intertwined now to detach would cause catastrophic financial and physiological issues for both of them
They are both in their mid 30's , I have reminded him many a time he has a long 20 years in front of him
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In my own experiences I had a LTR of 4 years , honeymoon phase lasted around a year and we would be fvcking every time we were together
Second year we were living together things started calming right down maybe 1- 2 times a week
Third year I think maybe 2-3 times a month sometimes less
By fourth year it was starting to get very slow , lack of effort from both of us I was constantly lusting after other women
We ended it there
You have to remember there is a hell of a lot of couples out there who are together by default or purely for the sake of an easy life
These types are merely cohabiting and naturally do not want to have sex with each other much
One of my mates (33) is in a 5 year LTR with was was originally his next door neighbour (convienceship) she was also a single mother age 35
After around year 1 , he started telling me the sex was drying up and neither of them could be bothered with it
4 years after that he says they get down to it around every 3-4 months or birthdays and Christmas
The core issue is he is into freaky & dirty stuff like rimming and she is a missionary and done type of gal
Their lives are so intertwined now to detach would cause catastrophic financial and physiological issues for both of them
They are both in their mid 30's , I have reminded him many a time he has a long 20 years in front of him
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In my own experiences I had a LTR of 4 years , honeymoon phase lasted around a year and we would be fvcking every time we were together
Second year we were living together things started calming right down maybe 1- 2 times a week
Third year I think maybe 2-3 times a month sometimes less
By fourth year it was starting to get very slow , lack of effort from both of us I was constantly lusting after other women
We ended it there
CornbreadFed
Master Don Juan
Were there other things that affected the decline in sex other than time together?
Pierce Manhammer
Moderator
Yeah I’d expect her to have reciprocal desire. That is, she’s turned on by my attraction for her. Always.
I’ve had this with a handful of beauties in my life in LTRS and it’s like nothing else. Once you’ve had it you will never settle for less.
I’ve had this with a handful of beauties in my life in LTRS and it’s like nothing else. Once you’ve had it you will never settle for less.
What happens, IN HER MIND, is that she comes to see you as WORTHLESS simply because she hasn't had to INVEST anything in you in order to get you or to keep you.
You were an interesting diversion while she had nothing else to do. But now that someone a little more valuable has come along, someone who expects her to treat him very well, she'll have no problem at all dropping you or demoting you to lowly "friendship" status.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.
SargeMaximus
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It was like that with me and my ex as well. I tracked it on my phone and we had sex 40 times a month on average
Pierce Manhammer
Moderator
I just love it when a gal says to me “wait, what?! You expect to have sex every time I come over?” To be fair I’ve only had one women say that to me and she was an experiment that went bad I should’ve aborted much earlier, but I was testing theories.
My answer for her off the cuff was “if you don’t want to tear my clothes off whenever you see me (twice a week) then you’re not attracted enough and we should part ways.” Just like that. That caused a temporary uptick but it crashed and burned shortly thereafter.
My answer for her off the cuff was “if you don’t want to tear my clothes off whenever you see me (twice a week) then you’re not attracted enough and we should part ways.” Just like that. That caused a temporary uptick but it crashed and burned shortly thereafter.
Bingo-Player
Master Don Juan
Routine generally doesn't allow for much spontaneity and without that its difficult to build much excitement or passion for it
My personal experience with GFs/plates: I only see them 1 max 2 a week, so naturally EVERY time (bar some exceptions like her being on her period or one of us feeling ill) I always have sex with all of them when we meet up. This has been the norm for me for the past 6/7 years.
Granted, I live alone and living together is a whole different ball game.
Granted, I live alone and living together is a whole different ball game.
BackInTheGame78
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Depends on a lot of things.
Are both people working full time?
Are kids involved?
How old are the kids?
Are both still in relatively good shape?
Obviously it's easier without kids. Young kids especially can be a super energy drain especially if you are having to wake up in the middle of the night regularly.
If both are working full time, there are going to be times when one or the other is tired from a long day at work or stressed out. Physical labor jobs and managerial jobs in retail/restaurants are usually highly stressful.
If one has gained significant weight, it could cause a lack of attraction physically.
All things being equal 3-4x a week is a good starting place and adjust up or down based on life factors
Are both people working full time?
Are kids involved?
How old are the kids?
Are both still in relatively good shape?
Obviously it's easier without kids. Young kids especially can be a super energy drain especially if you are having to wake up in the middle of the night regularly.
If both are working full time, there are going to be times when one or the other is tired from a long day at work or stressed out. Physical labor jobs and managerial jobs in retail/restaurants are usually highly stressful.
If one has gained significant weight, it could cause a lack of attraction physically.
All things being equal 3-4x a week is a good starting place and adjust up or down based on life factors
What happens, IN HER MIND, is that she comes to see you as WORTHLESS simply because she hasn't had to INVEST anything in you in order to get you or to keep you.
You were an interesting diversion while she had nothing else to do. But now that someone a little more valuable has come along, someone who expects her to treat him very well, she'll have no problem at all dropping you or demoting you to lowly "friendship" status.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.
In my experience, the first year will be fun and exciting both of you will try different positions. In the second year, the sex will be less and less intense compare to the 1st yr. But after the 3 yr, sex will just be a chore for me. I dont know after 3 to 4 yrs my desire for my gf wane and I want someone fresh and new.
3rd year of my last ltr was every other day. My sex drive dipped but I started heavy leg days and other T boosting activities/supplements/diet and went to everyday/multiple times.
Anything less than 2-3 times per week is cause for concern imo.
My sex drive is way up now.
Anything less than 2-3 times per week is cause for concern imo.
My sex drive is way up now.