How much sex is normal in a LTR/marriage after the honey moon phase

[CornbreadFed]

It seems like it’s every day for me except during her period. Is that normal? I’ve heard it doesn’t start to decline until a kid comes.

 

[SW15]

You're doing better than average.

Sex frequency drops as relationships progress. Below is what appears to be close to a general timeline of how things work in a longer lasting coupling scenario.

A guy typical gets laid after 3-5 dates. Sometime after that, a exclusive relationship forms. During the first 6-12 months of a relationship, the sex is frequent. It might mellow out a bit after that but still high if the relationship is good enough to remain coupled. After the slight mellowing, the man eventually proposes marriage, an engagement and wedding happens. After the wedding, sex is regular for the first 1-3 years.

By the 3 year anniversary of the wedding day (typically 5-6 years after the couple has first gotten together), the sex will noticeably diminish even if the couple is childless.

 

[Bingo-Player]

Really depends on the individuals and how keen they are too satisfy each other and also what the baseline attraction was like when they met

You have to remember there is a hell of a lot of couples out there who are together by default or purely for the sake of an easy life

These types are merely cohabiting and naturally do not want to have sex with each other much

One of my mates (33) is in a 5 year LTR with was was originally his next door neighbour (convienceship) she was also a single mother age 35

After around year 1 , he started telling me the sex was drying up and neither of them could be bothered with it

4 years after that he says they get down to it around every 3-4 months or birthdays and Christmas

The core issue is he is into freaky & dirty stuff like rimming and she is a missionary and done type of gal

Their lives are so intertwined now to detach would cause catastrophic financial and physiological issues for both of them

They are both in their mid 30's , I have reminded him many a time he has a long 20 years in front of him

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In my own experiences I had a LTR of 4 years , honeymoon phase lasted around a year and we would be fvcking every time we were together

Second year we were living together things started calming right down maybe 1- 2 times a week

Third year I think maybe 2-3 times a month sometimes less

By fourth year it was starting to get very slow , lack of effort from both of us I was constantly lusting after other women

We ended it there

 

[CornbreadFed]

In my own experiences I had a LTR of 4 years , honeymoon phase lasted around a year and we would be fvcking every time we were together

Second year we were living together things started calming right down maybe 1- 2 times a week

Third year I think maybe 2-3 times a month sometimes less

By fourth year it was starting to get very slow , lack of effort from both of us I was constantly lusting after other women

We ended it there

Were there other things that affected the decline in sex other than time together?

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Yeah I’d expect her to have reciprocal desire. That is, she’s turned on by my attraction for her. Always.

I’ve had this with a handful of beauties in my life in LTRS and it’s like nothing else. Once you’ve had it you will never settle for less.

 

[SargeMaximus]

It seems like it’s every day for me except during her period. Is that normal? I’ve heard it doesn’t start to decline until a kid comes.

It was like that with me and my ex as well. I tracked it on my phone and we had sex 40 times a month on average

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

I just love it when a gal says to me “wait, what?! You expect to have sex every time I come over?” To be fair I’ve only had one women say that to me and she was an experiment that went bad I should’ve aborted much earlier, but I was testing theories.

My answer for her off the cuff was “if you don’t want to tear my clothes off whenever you see me (twice a week) then you’re not attracted enough and we should part ways.” Just like that. That caused a temporary uptick but it crashed and burned shortly thereafter.

 

[Bingo-Player]

Were there other things that affected the decline in sex other than time together?

Routine generally doesn't allow for much spontaneity and without that its difficult to build much excitement or passion for it

 

[Juanto]

My personal experience with GFs/plates: I only see them 1 max 2 a week, so naturally EVERY time (bar some exceptions like her being on her period or one of us feeling ill) I always have sex with all of them when we meet up. This has been the norm for me for the past 6/7 years.

Granted, I live alone and living together is a whole different ball game.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Depends on a lot of things.

Are both people working full time?
Are kids involved?
How old are the kids?
Are both still in relatively good shape?

Obviously it's easier without kids. Young kids especially can be a super energy drain especially if you are having to wake up in the middle of the night regularly.

If both are working full time, there are going to be times when one or the other is tired from a long day at work or stressed out. Physical labor jobs and managerial jobs in retail/restaurants are usually highly stressful.

If one has gained significant weight, it could cause a lack of attraction physically.

All things being equal 3-4x a week is a good starting place and adjust up or down based on life factors

 

[Rakeboy]

In my experience, the first year will be fun and exciting both of you will try different positions. In the second year, the sex will be less and less intense compare to the 1st yr. But after the 3 yr, sex will just be a chore for me. I dont know after 3 to 4 yrs my desire for my gf wane and I want someone fresh and new.

 

[Murk]

3rd year of my last ltr was every other day. My sex drive dipped but I started heavy leg days and other T boosting activities/supplements/diet and went to everyday/multiple times.

Anything less than 2-3 times per week is cause for concern imo.

My sex drive is way up now.

 

[Juanto]

How long does for you on average the honeymoon phase last? I’m seeing this girl for almost 2 years and it still feels like we are in that period which is quite odd, not sure what to think of that