How much influence did your parents' personality give you?

[Permission]

For example I find that one of my parents can be quite negative, and I've picked up that trait. And they are kind of anti-social, which may have influenced me as well.
How bout you?

 

[American_Psycho]

For example I find that one of my parents can be quite negative, and I've picked up that trait. And they are kind of anti-social, which may have influenced me as well.
How bout you?

I'm very much like my father in terms of attitude, personality, sense of humor, etc. I don't see many direct similarities to my mother.

 

[Migel]

I've been studying this for some time and how I see it is your personality, especially the social part is determined 99% by your parents. The biggest learning process takes place between when you are 0 and 6 years old. And that is the time when your parents, probably mostly your mother, influenced you. It's not that you inherit personality from your parents but they create it.

If you are wondering why you are the way you are then read this:
You, your personality, is a function of the brain that is there only to please your parents.

If this is maybe shocking to you remember that when you were a little boy you didn't know anything. Your whole world was your family. And your biggest nightmare was that you would lose them. Do you remember times when you felt lost or lonely? It's the most terrifying thing for a child.
So, if you are introverted that's because there were certain events in your life that caused fear of losing your parents and you wanted to please them. For example when you were 3, you were loud the whole time and sang and generally were happy about things and your parents didn't like that because it annoyed them. They told you multiple times to shut up. And what your 3 year old self concluded from those events was that you better stay quiet because mom doesn't like loud. Remember you were little and that was the conclusion you made at that time, you were afraid of losing your mom so you stayed quiet. And now when you are a grown man that 3 year old self still tries to please mom (read women).
Now you know that conclusion was wrong and you can change it.

 

[Turncoat]

Migel, i'm a psychology major and I have to disagree with you.

New research has shown that parents have NO or VERY LITTLE influence on their children. The outside environment of social norms and culture is what influences you throughout your lifetime. Dysfucntional families are dysfunctional because of GENETIC reasons: i.e, the children inherited their parents genetic dysfunctional tendencies, NOT because the parents drove their children nuts.

Parents just serve as means to your survival.

 

[Migel]

I think the school you are in misinterpreted cause and effect.
The child does not start drinking alcohol because he has a gene for drinking but because he see's his dad drinking everyday for a couple of years and that's how he gets programmed. He doesn't even know that he can function differently.
Prove me wrong and show me a research where a child from a dysfunctional family got adopted and raised in a normal environment and still was dysfunctinal?

 

[daSoCalpimp]

psychology is a bunch of bs, just because a book says something doesn't mean its true, its just written words, just like the dj bible, you can read it and recite it by memory, but if you don't go out that dj bible that you can recite is worthless

Everything THEY ever taught me in school was worthless, the REAL world is not the book world

 

[snobby]

Actually I don't really think I gained anything from my parents. Maybe when I was a 5 year old kid, but as I grew up my personality was built in my teen years from my friends, not my parents. But it depends on the kind of person...but I dont fit into that category.

 

[rsxtreme]

For example I find that one of my parents can be quite negative, and I've picked up that trait. And they are kind of anti-social, which may have influenced me as well.
How bout you?

it can influnce you, but you can always change that.

 

[Migel]

Maybe when I was a 5 year old kid, but as I grew up my personality was built in my teen years from my friends, not my parents.

That is true. If you start hanging out more with your friends than your parents then your friends will influence you. But for the first few years of your life you don't have much choice and that's the time were you might get screwed.

it can influnce you, but you can always change that.

That's the good part, but it takes time.

 

[oakraiderz2]

Migel, i'm a psychology major and I have to disagree with you.

New research has shown that parents have NO or VERY LITTLE influence on their children. The outside environment of social norms and culture is what influences you throughout your lifetime. Dysfucntional families are dysfunctional because of GENETIC reasons: i.e, the children inherited their parents genetic dysfunctional tendencies, NOT because the parents drove their children nuts.

Parents just serve as means to your survival.

Lets see this research. I myself am also a psych major and i disagree with your arguement. Who do children have initial contact with until they begin school? Parents and other family members. So how can you say parents have little or even no influence? You should know that nature vs nurture isnt one sided. I agree there ARE extrinsic sources of influence, parents do play a large role. And i thought i didnt pay attention at school.

 

[Mission]

I don't need to have a psychology major to tell you that your parents have an influence on your personality, just like your friends do. Your experiences with or without people shape who you are. Isn't it obvious?

--Mission

 

[mejorimposible]

Migel, i'm a psychology major and I have to disagree with you.

New research has shown that parents have NO or VERY LITTLE influence on their children. The outside environment of social norms and culture is what influences you throughout your lifetime. Dysfucntional families are dysfunctional because of GENETIC reasons: i.e, the children inherited their parents genetic dysfunctional tendencies, NOT because the parents drove their children nuts.

Parents just serve as means to your survival.

i've been going to a "psychologyst?" for more than a year now, a lot of times i asked if my problem is genetic or not, she always says the psychological problems are realted with bad experiences of the young age than never go away from your head and that genetics have very little influnece

 

[ElChoclo]

I have a psychology major. But so what? Personally, I think that genetics is a powerful beast which goes unrecognized because of political correctness. Look at studies of separately raised identical twins who were separated very early in life. It is scary how similar they are. Environment is in the backseat and genetics is the driver. If I am wrong then how many times do you see 2 dumb parents with a smart kid. Intelligence definitely is involved in personality.

According to environmental theorists your genetics determines hair and eye colour, height, propensity to obesity and illness, but magically the brain itself, which is just meat like the body, is completely immune. I don't think so.

 

[abcd_z]

Okay guys, this is turning into a debate of nature vs. nurture. If you want to debate that, take it to a science forum. This forum is all about improving yourself and your ability to attract women. Am I right?

And as for the original question, my mother was paranoid schizophrenic. Boy, that left some serious emotional scars. 9 years later, and I'm still struggling with some of the baggage. Abandonment and self-confidence issues mostly. And I look at somebody like backbreaker, who isn't much older than me, and he never had to deal with something like this. Or if he did, he used it to become somebody stronger, while I... gave up. A lot. It took me a long time to shape up, and I'm nowhere near where I want to be yet.
But I will not give up. Not any more. I've got a lot of catching up to do, and I'll be damned if I waste any more of my life on wallowing in my own self-pity.

 

[Turncoat]

First of, who would you trust to give you an accurate description of what went wrong with your car, a friend or a mechanic? I would rather trust the mechanic (unless i know my friend has the knowledge of the mechanic) because he knows his craft.

Hence, for those of you who make the 'psyh is bullcrap we know things by ourselves' claim, i suggest you start taking psych seriously, seeing as psychologists actually study and experiment with the brain, something 99% of common folk don't do.

And if i hear another "you guys read books so what?" claim then i'm gonna shove a volume of freudian psychology up your idiotic a$$es. No need to explain why this claim is moronic.

I agree with Elchoclo, genetics is underated for political correctness. And for those who want to se this research of mine, look up "The Nurture Assumtion, Why Children Turn Up the Way They Do" by Judith Rich Harris and "You Are Being Lied To" by disinformation for a summary of her findings.

And yes, alcoholism is genetic. Some have greater tendencies then others based solely on genes.

 

[Desdinova]

Dysfucntional families are dysfunctional because of GENETIC reasons: i.e, the children inherited their parents genetic dysfunctional tendencies, NOT because the parents drove their children nuts.

If this were true, I should be a drunken child beater who molests children and has a gambling problem. I am none of these, and am living proof that dysfunctionality isn't genetic.

My parents DID have a major influence on me when I was a child. I had to work against adopting my parents' dysfunctional traits, but adopt their useful skills (which are far and few between).

I no longer consider my parents as being the ones who raised me. I essentially raised myself by undoing all the bad thought patterns and behavior that I learned from them. It pisses me off when my mother tells me how she did a fantastic job of raising me. She has no clue how much of the damage I had to undo to become the person I am today.

When a child sees their parents as the whole world, they believe that the parents know everything and are perfect. Even if the parent is abusing the child, the child sees this as normal. Sexually abused children will "act out" their abuse because they think it's perfectly normal. Of course, this doesn't just happen with parents, but any adult who is actively involved in the child's life.

Genetics can play a part in a person's personality. For instance, I seem to have inherited short-term memory problems from one of my parents. If I call myself stupid (like my parent does), I'll have identical self-esteem problems (and it never helped when I was called "stupid"). If I recognize that it's part of my family genetics, I will refrain from calling myself stupid and find ways to overcome my "handicap".

 

[Charm&Style]

just last week was the first time i asked my mom for help....i have come to the conclusion that she was the writer of the dj bible....she told me the same things that are posted on this website....lady of 45.

to me don juaning is just using logic and common sence. and if you talk with one that has common logical sence then their advice mite have some value.

 

[Permission]

Okay guys, this is turning into a debate of nature vs. nurture. If you want to debate that, take it to a science forum. This forum is all about improving yourself and your ability to attract women. Am I right?

Yes!

 

[Krassus]

Thank god, not much. Otherwise, i would be screwed. Wish i could pick up my dad's "work-like-a-horse-ability" though

 

[Migel]

If this were true, I should be a drunken child beater who molests children and has a gambling problem. I am none of these, and am living proof that dysfunctionality isn't genetic.

My parents DID have a major influence on me when I was a child. I had to work against adopting my parents' dysfunctional traits, but adopt their useful skills (which are far and few between).

I no longer consider my parents as being the ones who raised me. I essentially raised myself by undoing all the bad thought patterns and behavior that I learned from them. It pisses me off when my mother tells me how she did a fantastic job of raising me. She has no clue how much of the damage I had to undo to become the person I am today.

When a child sees their parents as the whole world, they believe that the parents know everything and are perfect. Even if the parent is abusing the child, the child sees this as normal. Sexually abused children will "act out" their abuse because they think it's perfectly normal. Of course, this doesn't just happen with parents, but any adult who is actively involved in the child's life.

Genetics can play a part in a person's personality. For instance, I seem to have inherited short-term memory problems from one of my parents. If I call myself stupid (like my parent does), I'll have identical self-esteem problems (and it never helped when I was called "stupid"). If I recognize that it's part of my family genetics, I will refrain from calling myself stupid and find ways to overcome my "handicap".

Amen.

Psychology movements change every 10-15 years. Don't trust them. Also if you have a psychology major that doesn't mean you know anything. I have friends studying computer science that know **** about programming. Just get as much knowledge as you can and trust your own experience in these matters. If genetic determine mainly who you are, you might as well die because there is no hope.