How much does the “abundance mentality” matter for low-tier men?

[Travel memoir21]

Gymcel

A gymcel is an incel who works out, believing that a muscular body will compensate for an unattractive face. Gymcels will often spend countless hours in the gym...

incels.wiki

Do you freakin work out? Maybe you should try it out sometime....it'll do you wonders for your mental health, do it for yourself instead of trying to get into a woman's skirt.

 

[Travel memoir21]

- Yes you gotta be fit, go to the gym and do the basics. But you must also remember where to look for Quality women and building Social Momentum by having a decent, uplifting social circle and community around you. You gotta know where to look for the quality women are and that's by naturally going to your place of worship's events every weekend and bonding with the people there, going to social events that caters for a cause or charity of some kind, you can volunteer...these are good places to meet quality women.

- Usually when it comes to meeting women...it is a problem of Social skills and having good social and emotional IQ. Read the book ' How to make friends and influence people'...look up a few videos on youtube on how to socialize on a group setting naturally.

- The bottom line is you can't be desperate, you must have an Abundant mentality because you're grateful and have a sense of gratitude in your life because you are One with your creator - God/ Elohim. Yes, practice gratitude and also practice Giving by doing random kindness in your week and not telling anybody about it - this is a great way to gain confidence. The Lord knows your intention and in the future he will give you opportunities to run into somebody whether it's NATURALLY and COINCIDENTALLY meeting someone when you are not looking for it like in a Grocery Store, delivering mail at a post office or any natural scenario etc.

- I would also advise this dude to take up No Fap/ Semen Retention, take up Hollistic practices such as Tai Chi, Meditating and centering your mind on God and meditation and grounding your mind on naturally feminine women. This will naturally attract your a woman of Good character to you.

The women below are good examples to be meditating on:

 

[MatureDJ]

Do you freakin work out? Maybe you should try it out sometime....it'll do you wonders for your mental health, do it for yourself instead of trying to get into a woman's skirt.

Uh, I am a weightlifter that at one time could bench press 2X my weight.

 

[MatureDJ]

If a very fit less attractive man has well developed game he can most certainly still get mid tier women, 7's and most certainly 6's. Some of these women can be extremely pleasant to date.

BPH's advice was on point.

What if he is short?

 

[Vanderdonck]

Since most desirable women are not socially retarded, my suspicion is that if I act like I have “abundance”, they’ll know full well that I have few or no options, and either realise that I am putting on an act or think that I have genuinely lost interest, rather than assuming that I moved on to other girls. How true or untrue is this?

You're approaching this wrong. A change in mindset is for you. Who cares what they think? Obviously if they think you are putting on an act then you haven't changed your mindset or convinced your brain of anything.

 

[Pumax]

It comes to mind when I had a conversation with my aunt, who has been married to my uncle, which is a very short men, for 40 years. They're still married.

"You know, when your uncle went to work and came back late at night, I took care of the children and the house. When he was away, I felt anxious because I didn't know if he would have an affair with someone at work. Your uncle was very diplomatic and used to use the formal 'you' form or speak formally to people. But one day, at a work party where all our families were present, he was approached by a female colleague who greeted him and called him by name. This made me furious with him, but then he told me that she was just a colleague. You see, today I see many young people who don't 'fight' or make 'sacrifices' for a relationship, but this is what a woman has to do, she has to question and fight to maintain the relationship."

I said goodbye to my aunt that day; she had taught me a great lesson. She wasn't concerned with loving my uncle, or if he was short, or bald, or fat.. but rather with feeling anxious about him. The more anxious she was, and the more my uncle reassured her that everything was okay, the more this emotional rollercoaster contributed to the duration of their relationship. She felt like she had to "fight" to maintain this relationship, even tho she was okay.

It doesn't matter if you have 32 or 30 teeth, if you are 150cm tall, or if you are bald, have pimples or whatever..
Of course, good hygiene and self-development is part of the adventure of becoming a mature man, but remember this and fix it well in your mind: There will be some women who will have an obsession with you, and who will feel this uncontrollable anxiety for you, while other women will not.


I guess if my uncle hadn't had this way of passively instilling anxiety in her, and making her feel anxious about him, it would have ended right away. Now, could this explain a woman's overly dramatic or emotional relationship with a "white knight" man? Who knows? But all the long-term relationships I see are based on this.

True relationships between healthy people sometimes last a short time, between 5 and 10 years, and are completely different from this sort of dependency of a woman on a man. Then there are rare cases where healthy relationships last much longer.

But the general subtext was this, and not so much how you have aboundance mentality: a woman loves a man as much as she feels anxious and as much as he can establish comfort again—and then more anxiety. Rinse and reapeat.

This is why you can't explain to so many women why they are drawn to these damaged and childish men, and their look it's not the main thing.. so many emotions, ups and downs.

But if you are real men, don't imitate them! Instead, look for a healthier, less emotional woman and experience a sincere, true, honest, and fearless relationship. Even if this can last only one year, it is worth more than 50 years with a woman who must be anxious about you.

Having said that, I am 100% sure that my uncle cheated on her to satisfy his physiological needs, but he stayed with her to build the family and be a father to her children.
Also, there are some elements that reveal in this story: mu uncle position gave him social proof, validation, and status to my aunt's eyes.

I hope this could clarify something for OP

 

[SW15]

Uh, I am a weightlifter that at one time could bench press 2X my weight.

What if he is short?

You did not have abundance at that phase of your life. You might have even been one of those physically fit incels (gymcels) before.

You likely did not have a good social circle at any time when you lived in the United States either. You had solid STEM earnings in your 20s-early 40s in the USA, but did have at least one short term work assignment, as mentioned by your time in Phoenix in the early 2000s.

Observations on Phoenix's Scene

Phoenix, Arizona has become one of the biggest metropolitan areas in the United States. It has grown a lot in recent decades. The 2020 Census estimated that Maricopa County (covering most of Metro Phoenix) has a 4.4 million population. In 1990, Maricopa County only had 2.1 million people. Almost...

www.sosuave.net

Being short was the greatest challenge you had in the USA mating market, but you also had other ones.

 

[darksprezzatura]

An average woman naturally recognises desperation without putting two thoughts in.

If you’re faking abundance to get women, it would show. Top tier men can usually notice this in other men just like average women.

What might be useful is to recognise your time is of value and you’d like to put it towards goals which provide sustained gratification.

It’s a world of difference dating a woman who likes you vs someone who’s making you pretend or jump through hoops. Your purpose is supreme, and it’s rooting for you to fulfil it.

 

[SW15]

Low tier can't get the abundance mindset correct. Abundance isn't a part of their reality. They must ascend in looks, money, or status to try to get to a better tier to become more attractive and generate more interest from women.

 

[Pumax]

An average woman naturally recognises desperation without putting two thoughts in.

Low tier can't get the abundance mindset correct. Abundance isn't a part of their reality. They must ascend in looks, money, or status to try to get to a better tier to become more attractive and generate more interest from women.

True points, but it's always subjective to a certain type of woman.

There are 10 women in a room, and they are all considered 7s.

Nine of them will reject that man, but one of them will be very attracted to him.

The odds increase exponentially every time you increase your SMV. Without a doubt, this is true. So, you could go from nine rejections to six.

But, always remember the cardinal rule, though: there will always be someone who is magnetically attracted to you.

So rather than over-researching or analyzing things you can't change, we absolutely need to look beyond and research more important things:
What can I do to improve things about myself that I can improve?
What can I do to get the most female social exposure and volume?

Once you have your sh1t together, you absolutely need to have a way of having encounters, every day. It's called exposure. The more you have, the more likely you are to get. This is why I love a "social" job rather than a "tech" one. You spend majority of your day with people out there, and not in front of a piece of plastic.

Also, when you start doing the exposure thing, don't mind the rejection!
Treat the rejection as a joke and a friendly thing (if it's not disrespectful to you), and absolutely move on. You may not find what you're looking for, but she will.

Low tier

What's your definition of low tier?

 

[CornbreadFed]

Having said that, I am 100% sure that my uncle cheated on her to satisfy his physiological needs, but he stayed with her to build the family and be a father to her children.

Women that only chase down high value men with options need to understand the potential consequences of that.

 

[Dr_jitsu]

What if he is short?

Getting lean and muscular can make up for a lot. So diet and gym. Also, I love cowboy boots mine give me a full extra 2 inches.

 

[Dr_jitsu]

True points, but it's always subjective to a certain type of woman.

There are 10 women in a room, and they are all considered 7s.

Nine of them will reject that man, but one of them will be very attracted to him.

The odds increase exponentially every time you increase your SMV. Without a doubt, this is true. So, you could go from nine rejections to six.

But, always remember the cardinal rule, though: there will always be someone who is magnetically attracted to you.

So rather than over-researching or analyzing things you can't change, we absolutely need to look beyond and research more important things:
What can I do to improve things about myself that I can improve?
What can I do to get the most female social exposure and volume?

Once you have your sh1t together, you absolutely need to have a way of having encounters, every day. It's called exposure. The more you have, the more likely you are to get. This is why I love a "social" job rather than a "tech" one. You spend majority of your day with people out there, and not in front of a piece of plastic.

Also, when you start doing the exposure thing, don't mind the rejection!
Treat the rejection as a joke and a friendly thing (if it's not disrespectful to you), and absolutely move on. You may not find what you're looking for, but she will.

What's your definition of low tier?

Great post. Guy A decides there is no hope and quits and is alone. Guy B (physically about the same as A) throws himself into the mindset you propose. He eventually starts becoming successful 3 out of 10 times. Eventually he has 3 plates spinning.

It is all about mindset. I just posted my video on this topic.

 

[Glassguy]

Not to sound like a prude, but the fact that someone has to ask how many women does it take to show an "abundance mindset" shows that person cares about what others think to an unhealthy degree......which is the total opposite of an abundance mindset.

 

[20Humble5050]

Low tier can't get the abundance mindset correct. Abundance isn't a part of their reality. They must ascend in looks, money, or status to try to get to a better tier to become more attractive and generate more interest from women.

As I mentioned earlier, when seduction guides tell people to adopt an "abundance mentality" they're telling them to PRETEND to have abundance and act accordingly; your actual level of abundance does not matter. My concern was whether working on pretending to have abundance was worth your time if you have Incel-tier looks, since I suspect women know full well which men have no options and will figure out quickly that you're just bluffing by going cold,

This is an absolutely outstanding post, very similar to what I would advise. In fact, I am going to do a video on this topic tomorrow.

Again you will get rejected, but so what? Eventually you will be getting at least 7-8 phone numbers a month. Get better at date closing. Eventually you may be getting 3-4 dates a month but this will build your rotation. 18 months from now you WILL have abundance.

I appreciate the effort you put into your post and will put your advice into practice, but... 3-4 dates a MONTH?! You should realise that I am so far behind the curve and have such a vanishingly low level of SMV that reading this claim is no different to reading a hypothetical promise that I'll be able to climb and descend Mount Everest three or four times in a single day after just 18 months of athletic training. I'm not saying I won't make an effort anyway nor do I mean to disrespect anything you or anyone else has written, but time and time again I have read seduction advice written by people who have either never participated in the Generation Z dating market as an equal (i.e. not leveraging money to close an age gap) or assume the achievement of "basic" prerequisite milestones that they're not aware would actually be like ten Christmases at once for an increasingly large number of men. Back in the late 90s and early 2000s very few men were adult virgins not by choice and you could expect the median "Average Frustrated Chump" turning to the seduction community to have had, at worst, an unsuccessful and sexless dating relationship with a girl, but usually at least one previous long(ish)-term girlfriend that he banged if not a lucky hookup, but nowadays there are millions of "totally socially invisible" adult virgin men that are at their wits' end after trying unsuccessfully for years just to get a first date.

For context, yes, I am one of them. I am also short, fat, autistic, and ugly, rating myself a 3.5/10 or a 4 on a good day, and I am still a virgin at age 24, although to be fair I have only done 69 approaches thus far and am not allowing myself to quit until the year is 2030 or I complete 1,000 approaches, whichever comes first. Any time I go out to a bar or club in America I consider it a very successful night if every woman I encounter treats me like a HUMAN BEING - on multiple occasions girls have told me that they "have a boyfriend", told me to "go away" when I was just walking past them on a packed dance floor, actually called me out for making a joke that didn't land instead of just acting disinterested, pretended to be friendly to me instead of giving me negative cues only to finally snap and tell me to **** off when I had the gall to keep being friendly back, or were so creeped out by me that they felt the need to tell a mutual acquaintance to tell me to back off instead of even saying it themselves - and ALL of these cases were girls that weren't even approach targets, and to whom I wasn't saying or doing anything unambiguously flirtatious!

The number one demotivator for me is this sort of subhuman treatment, because I CAN tell when a girl is not interested and back off, and by cutting me off like this the girl is making false assumptions that I am a pushy creep based on my looks alone. Of course, I'm jaded to the core, have no ****s left to give and have virtually no respect for modern young women (anybody who still does after going through what I've been through is a turbosimp), but I have to play nice to avoid being banned from venues or MeTooed. Also, this problem seems to be exclusive to American thots and has never happened when I went clubbing in Korea or Ukraine - nightlife is actually fun there and I don't need to force myself to pretend to enjoy it, despite still getting no results.

I am a very late bloomer because although I got my first romantic crushes at the usual time, for whatever reason I had no standalone sex drive as such until I was 19 years old. I also have several strong principles that I will never compromise on for any reason, regardless of the rewards (mostly to provide some element of stability and stop me from going completely off my rocker rather than for the purpose of moral grandstanding) and these are that I won't lie to people (except if it's about mice or recorders; long story as to why those are the exceptions), and that I won't completely reinvent my personality and live a lie for ulterior motives.

I have yet to fully kick my longtime computer addiction but when I do, I am only going to pursue in-person hobbies that interest me, not endure yoga classes, for instance, purely because they are target-rich environments (and even then only in theory). I also find very few people worth having as platonic friends, and I do not gain enough from platonic friendships that they are worth making an effort to seek out; most friends are a means to an end but again, acting chummy with people just for material benefits goes against my principles.

I will definitely hit the gym and try to lose 20 kilos if for no other reason than to be able to ski at a high level again. As far as fashion goes, I basically never stopped dressing like a Hong Kong schoolboy (this isn't helped by the fact that I'm broke, and even if I wasn't would likely still be a miser who hates spending money; I can count on one hand the number of articles of clothing other than socks and underwear that I have bought new), but when I change this, it's going to be to what I like the look of, not to what is "fashionable". For instance I like growing my nails out to the point that I am strongly considering getting fake ones installed; so ****ing what if girls that are too busy riding Chad's **** to give me a second glance anyway mistake me for a homosexual? I have realised lately that I have been playing fast and loose with my principles this whole time by being overly conformist, and how many dates has that bloody gotten me so far? Now that I'm all out of ****s left to give I am going to play by my own rules alone (within reason) because I'd rather be alone and happy than alone and bored. I know I am playing the game on "I Am Death Incarnate" mode but if I have to sacrifice my soul to play it on Hard Mode, it's a game I'd rather not play at all. Anyway, I'll try to open at least one girl on campus tomorrow and report back.

 

[SW15]

As I mentioned earlier, when seduction guides tell people to adopt an "abundance mentality" they're telling them to PRETEND to have abundance and act accordingly; your actual level of abundance does not matter. My concern was whether working on pretending to have abundance was worth your time if you have Incel-tier looks, since I suspect women know full well which men have no options and will figure out quickly that you're just bluffing by going cold,

It's possible that a woman is intuitive enough to figure out that a lower tier man has no abundance.

Most lower tier men won't engage in enough behaviors to give her the attraction triggers/feelings she needs.

 

[MatureDJ]

Getting lean and muscular can make up for a lot. So diet and gym. Also, I love cowboy boots mine give me a full extra 2 inches.

I used to wear cowboy boots, but my feet began to mog them, and I can't get EEEE boots.

 

[MatureDJ]

I appreciate the effort you put into your post and will put your advice into practice, but... 3-4 dates a MONTH?! You should realise that I am so far behind the curve and have such a vanishingly low level of SMV that reading this claim is no different to reading a hypothetical promise that I'll be able to climb and descend Mount Everest three or four times in a single day after just 18 months of athletic training.

Don't end up like "Green Boots".

Green Boots - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

 

[MatureDJ]

... nowadays there are millions of "totally socially invisible" adult virgin men that are at their wits' end after trying unsuccessfully for years just to get a first date.

... when I had the gall to keep being friendly back, or were so creeped out by me that they felt the need to tell a mutual acquaintance to tell me to back off instead of even saying it themselves

The number one demotivator for me is this sort of subhuman treatment, because I CAN tell when a girl is not interested and back off, and by cutting me off like this the girl is making false assumptions that I am a pushy creep based on my looks alone.

I've never had a mutual acquaintance ever tell me this.

You are in the h3ll that is known as Incel-tier.

 

[20Humble5050]

I've never had a mutual acquaintance ever tell me this.

You are in the h3ll that is known as Incel-tier.

Oh, I am well aware. The funny thing is that none of the 69 girls I actually approached gave me a bad reaction. But I am not going to break the Thousand-Approach Plan despite my better judgement; getting arrested is just a cost of doing business! (Not that I won't be careful).