How much does having no social circle affect your game?

[Fruitbat]

which allowed to attract women and men...

Can we set up a LGBTQ section for Von please?

 

[superstorm250]

You don't need a social circle. Date online. Explain you're a sigma male (in other terms)

A lot of chicks dig the silent guy who gets on with things rather than some social focal point. Not all women like this type of "alpha", or just don't see them as appropriate partners.

I mean, there are alpha females who are the "head" of their social groups. These women in my experience are 95% total b1tches and bullies. I am not attratcted to them. I like the idea of an introverted girl. Lots of women think similar.

Yeah I see what you mean about introverted girls, I was into a girl who was extremely introverted last year, but I f*cked it up when I texted her for the first time. It made me realize how weak my texting game is and needs to be improved. I’m glad it didn’t work out with her though after I learned more about her.

I looked up what sigma male means because I haven’t heard that one and I would say that describes me pretty well, and I’ve never used dating apps/sites but I’ve been wanting to because that would be the easiest option for me, the reason I haven’t done it yet is because I don’t know what kind of profile pics I should have and I don’t think I take good pictures. I’ve even heard some say to go to a professional studio but I think that’s BS. I don’t know what ones are the best to use, I was thinking Tinder or Match. I won’t use Bumble first because I’ve had issues facing rejection and I’d be a huge hypocrite to freely reject women on there while being against experiencing it myself on another site.

 

[Fruitbat]

Yeah I see what you mean about introverted girls, I was into a girl who was extremely introverted last year, but I f*cked it up when I texted her for the first time. It made me realize how weak my texting game is and needs to be improved. I’m glad it didn’t work out with her though after I learned more about her.

I looked up what sigma male means because I haven’t heard that one and I would say that describes me pretty well, and I’ve never used dating apps/sites but I’ve been wanting to because that would be the easiest option for me, the reason I haven’t done it yet is because I don’t know what kind of profile pics I should have and I don’t think I take good pictures. I’ve even heard some say to go to a professional studio but I think that’s BS. I don’t know what ones are the best to use, I was thinking Tinder or Match. I won’t use Bumble first because I’ve had issues facing rejection and I’d be a huge hypocrite to freely reject women on there while being against experiencing it myself on another site.

You are overthinking and under do ing. I was on OLD 2 years and banged a load of girls and now am happily with a GF of one year.

Not sure how OLD is when you're younger but just go on there and work your leads. Don't obsess on the 5 prettiest girls on there. Go for the new joiners or perhaps girls who are your type but not bombshells. You'll get some good returns there.

I used match and that was good for me.

If you are worried about pics, just get some pics in a good suit or clothes showing your watch, use 3-4 and if you;re not an athelete, don't try to be. You don't need to look "sexy", you just need to look like a guy she could turn up to a party with and feel like she's not got a loser.

Sure, if you're buff, and want to show it, you'll get a ton of flings I'm sure. Just saying what worked for me, as I am not buff, I take a bad photo but I can dress smart and, as I say, look like a guy who has his shyt together, no matter I'm fat and not attractive.

Most chicks don't care about your photos as much as you think. If you pass the "looks good enough to date" test, it's about your drive, ambition, personality and status.

WE care about photos.

When I pretended to be some hip guy, with tons of chicks, I got nothing.

When I reset my profile with what I would consider a "boring" persona, I had 3 on the go in no time. No shyt. Girls over age 24 seem to really dig it!

Good luck

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

always look for two or three close friends.... as opposed becoming part of a 'social circle'. Perhaps that is just a part of the maturing process.

Garbage right here. Having less friends = growing up? That means that I’ve gotten more immature as I’ve aged, and I know that isn’t true. You don’t want 2 or 3 super close friends, you want a big social network. It’s always better than having a few small good friends. I’ve tried the latter before and I’ve also tried building up a huge social network. Society always told me how it’s better to have just a few really close friends than a whole bunch of friends that aren’t as close. I listened, and got ****ed for it. It’s always better to have more friends. More connections, more opportunities, and you can get them closer if you want. Lose one friend, no big deal because you still got a whole group. One of the biggest pieces of social bull**** I’ve ever heard was it being better choosing a few really close friends over an entire group not as close. It’s just NOT true.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Garbage right here. Having less friends = growing up? That means that I’ve gotten more immature as I’ve aged, and I know that isn’t true. You don’t want 2 or 3 super close friends, you want a big social network. It’s always better than having a few small good friends. I’ve tried the latter before and I’ve also tried building up a huge social network. Society always told me how it’s better to have just a few really close friends than a whole bunch of friends that aren’t as close. I listened, and got ****ed for it. It’s always better to have more friends. More connections, more opportunities, and you can get them closer if you want. Lose one friend, no big deal because you still got a whole group. One of the biggest pieces of social bull**** I’ve ever heard was it being better choosing a few really close friends over an entire group not as close. It’s just NOT true.

The next world order is pushing groups and no real relationship. It makes it easier to control people.

 

[Von]

Garbage right here. Having less friends = growing up? That means that I’ve gotten more immature as I’ve aged, and I know that isn’t true. You don’t want 2 or 3 super close friends, you want a big social network. It’s always better than having a few small good friends. I’ve tried the latter before and I’ve also tried building up a huge social network. Society always told me how it’s better to have just a few really close friends than a whole bunch of friends that aren’t as close. I listened, and got ****ed for it. It’s always better to have more friends. More connections, more opportunities, and you can get them closer if you want. Lose one friend, no big deal because you still got a whole group. One of the biggest pieces of social bull**** I’ve ever heard was it being better choosing a few really close friends over an entire group not as close. It’s just NOT true.

See I don't agree with this but you make a valid point. I will go with Christopher answer.

Succesful people have Succesful Friends.

Everyone you see on TV, Forbes, Top Rich,Top Politicians etc.... They have CLOSE friends with whom they BUILD.

Zuckberg roommates at universities
Steve Job and Wozniak
Georges Bush roomates
Spielberg,Lucas,Coppola, Scorcesses.... Same class at school.

Etc.. Everyone who was famous/succesful had a also a succesful friend or roomate.

Spielberg,Lucas,Coppola,Scorcesses and 1 other have focus group... they would sit at a table and pitch ideas to each other and try to see the weak points (at trying to destroy the ideas/critize) and how to make it strong/good (if it survived the pitch)... they fuel each other ideas/skills.

All sport athletes live and bread with their teamates.

As you grow older... its harder to make friends or keep close contacts... that's why your social circle shrink into 2-3-4-5 besties. But these besties represent the most YOU and know YOU.

My parents hosted dinners of 1-2 couples every week-end, and few times a year.. House parties of 30 people (friends-family).... From that alot of business came.

Why? You deepen the relationships.

Everyone love doing business with: Someone they know and Trust

Japanese people will do business with you only after you got smash drunk with them. Why? Cause they wanna know the REAL you, and being drunk give the REAL you (no more human/society barriers)

Social network is really important but a Social network needs to be taken care and Natured to mature. I know 300 peoples, I can have something every night... but none of them are my friends they just view me as a "party guy or business guy" so they "know me by seeing me" but they might not want to "do anything deeper with me.. Like house party/diner at home" .

It's why when we young... we love "knowing people" and have alot of activities and parties but when we grow older... we want to have deeper connections and our circle shrink.

In our new generation where people are mostly alone or raised single child.... I guess "social networking" remains important even in later stage of live. It's better than being alone at home.

The Old rich people even created ''Private Social Clubs'' to make sure they miggle with themselves.

Nothing replace the deepness of relationships.

Psychology of Success: You are the sum of the 5 closes persons to you.

Aristotle: Circle of association... if your friends are going no where in their lives... you will go nowhere too. If you have ambitious friends... you will be ambitious.

I am a loner and got great social circle and 7 close friends (but I don't talk to them all the time)... my only friend and bestfriend who we did everything together and talked everyday died 7 years ago and never could remplace him.

I am trying to create "deeper relationships" and a "crew". It will make life easier for work, family, dating.

To OP. You don't need a social circle to be out there and date.

To OP. What you need is activities/stuff you ENJOY that will allow you to be out there and socialize and share your passion.

You need to build your personality, your look, your aptitude to socialize with others (men and women).. From there things will pickup.

You have alot to catch up but don't rush. Start slow.

An idea: Go outside 30min to 1 hour, somewhere with people where you can do something (coffee shop to coffee + drink, gym for workout, outdoor for walk and sight seeing) and just go say Hello to 1 person during that time. Only 1 approach, Hello! How your day going!... the next day... do it 2 times.

Don't be shy about it. People will actually admire you for doing it.. The Action is more important than results at first.

If you feel blocked... literally tell them: Hi, my name is X... all my life I was a loner and had social anxiety, I am working to solve that. It's a reason that I approached with "Hello, how your day?", sometimes I block there and would love any tips you can give me to make me overcome this social anxiety.

People will help

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

See I don't agree with this but you make a valid point. I will go with Christopher answer.

Succesful people have Succesful Friends.

Everyone you see on TV, Forbes, Top Rich,Top Politicians etc.... They have CLOSE friends with whom they BUILD.

Zuckberg roommates at universities
Steve Job and Wozniak
Georges Bush roomates
Spielberg,Lucas,Coppola, Scorcesses.... Same class at school.

Etc.. Everyone who was famous/succesful had a also a succesful friend or roomate.

Spielberg,Lucas,Coppola,Scorcesses and 1 other have focus group... they would sit at a table and pitch ideas to each other and try to see the weak points (at trying to destroy the ideas/critize) and how to make it strong/good (if it survived the pitch)... they fuel each other ideas/skills.

All sport athletes live and bread with their teamates.

As you grow older... its harder to make friends or keep close contacts... that's why your social circle shrink into 2-3-4-5 besties. But these besties represent the most YOU and know YOU.

My parents hosted dinners of 1-2 couples every week-end, and few times a year.. House parties of 30 people (friends-family).... From that alot of business came.

Why? You deepen the relationships.

Everyone love doing business with: Someone they know and Trust

Japanese people will do business with you only after you got smash drunk with them. Why? Cause they wanna know the REAL you, and being drunk give the REAL you (no more human/society barriers)

Social network is really important but a Social network needs to be taken care and Natured to mature. I know 300 peoples, I can have something every night... but none of them are my friends they just view me as a "party guy or business guy" so they "know me by seeing me" but they might not want to "do anything deeper with me.. Like house party/diner at home" .

It's why when we young... we love "knowing people" and have alot of activities and parties but when we grow older... we want to have deeper connections and our circle shrink.

In our new generation where people are mostly alone or raised single child.... I guess "social networking" remains important even in later stage of live. It's better than being alone at home.

The Old rich people even created ''Private Social Clubs'' to make sure they miggle with themselves.

Nothing replace the deepness of relationships.

Psychology of Success: You are the sum of the 5 closes persons to you.

Aristotle: Circle of association... if your friends are going no where in their lives... you will go nowhere too. If you have ambitious friends... you will be ambitious.

I am a loner and got great social circle and 7 close friends (but I don't talk to them all the time)... my only friend and bestfriend who we did everything together and talked everyday died 7 years ago and never could remplace him.

I am trying to create "deeper relationships" and a "crew". It will make life easier for work, family, dating.

To OP. You don't need a social circle to be out there and date.

To OP. What you need is activities/stuff you ENJOY that will allow you to be out there and socialize and share your passion.

You need to build your personality, your look, your aptitude to socialize with others (men and women).. From there things will pickup.

You have alot to catch up but don't rush. Start slow.

An idea: Go outside 30min to 1 hour, somewhere with people where you can do something (coffee shop to coffee + drink, gym for workout, outdoor for walk and sight seeing) and just go say Hello to 1 person during that time. Only 1 approach, Hello! How your day going!... the next day... do it 2 times.

Don't be shy about it. People will actually admire you for doing it.. The Action is more important than results at first.

If you feel blocked... literally tell them: Hi, my name is X... all my life I was a loner and had social anxiety, I am working to solve that. It's a reason that I approached with "Hello, how your day?", sometimes I block there and would love any tips you can give me to make me overcome this social anxiety.

People will help

It’s about getting down some contacts. Always better to know more people than to know less people. All those ‘famous, rich’ people you mentioned? They had to know someone someway or another to get to where they got. Not to mention that it was easier back in their day too. When Steve and Woz built the Apple I computer, they did it because Steve mailed a letter to HP, asking if they could have some spare parts to build a computer. And they just gave it to them. People don’t know that though. Can you imagine doing that now and it working? Hell no. Only if you actually know corporate HP employees personally. But hey, in the 70s and 80s you could just DO that lol. You might as well be friends with them. Back then people used to just stop on by at each others’ houses because they just happened to be in the area and visit. Now you practically get down on the floor and crawl to the door just to see who the hell it is lol. Famous people who lived in a different era. They got big because they were lucky enough to do it. Try it now though. You can’t make it like they did doing the same things as them. Things don’t work that way anymore. In order to be able to do all of that, you have to be FRIENDS with those people in order to be able to do that. You gotta know one person to get to know the other in order to meet them. You can’t just walk right up to them like you used to. The 80s, what a time to have lived in lol.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

Garbage right here. Having less friends = growing up? That means that I’ve gotten more immature as I’ve aged, and I know that isn’t true. You don’t want 2 or 3 super close friends, you want a big social network. It’s always better than having a few small good friends. I’ve tried the latter before and I’ve also tried building up a huge social network. Society always told me how it’s better to have just a few really close friends than a whole bunch of friends that aren’t as close. I listened, and got ****ed for it. It’s always better to have more friends. More connections, more opportunities, and you can get them closer if you want. Lose one friend, no big deal because you still got a whole group. One of the biggest pieces of social bull**** I’ve ever heard was it being better choosing a few really close friends over an entire group not as close. It’s just NOT true.

Think of your social world as a series of concentric circles. At the outer sphere are acquaintances, which can be a network [this is really about the utility of connections and opportunities etc, not the ideal of friendship... this sphere in turn may lead to a further outer sphere of relationships of pleasure]. Next is the inner sphere of friendship. There is by its very nature less people in this sphere. It is indeed completely lacking for a lot of people for it requires a certain aspect of personal development, where personal development is also social development. It is like a dialogue [dialectic] between people... but in our individualistic age this is becoming increasingly rare. And then there is the inner-most circle that consists of you, yourself and I... and maybe God.

Social media is a perfect example of friendship degenerating into the idea of networks and connections.

Also, intelligence, criticism, resistance, and virtue may require the ideal of friendship... for real friendship fosters those things, whereas groups and connections tend to lead to a group-think mentality. Real friendship is like two against an absurd world.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Think of your social world as a series of concentric circles. At the outer sphere are acquaintances, which can be a network [this is really about the utility of connections and opportunities etc, not the ideal of friendship... this sphere in turn may lead to a further outer sphere of relationships of pleasure]. Next is the inner sphere of friendship. There is by its very nature less people in this sphere. It is indeed completely lacking for a lot of people for it requires a certain aspect of personal development, where personal development is also social development. It is like a dialogue [dialectic] between people... but in our individualistic age this is becoming increasingly rare. And then there is the inner-most circle that consists of you, yourself and I... and maybe God.

Social media is a perfect example of friendship degenerating into the idea of networks and connections.

Also, intelligence, criticism, resistance, and virtue may require the ideal of friendship... for real friendship fosters those things, whereas groups and connections tend to lead to a group-think mentality. Real friendship is like two against an absurd world.

You’re looking at things waayyyyy too politically and culturally. I’m talking about in the practical sense. Yes you can have a million acquaintances, but they don’t do **** for you. They’ll talk to you just because you’re associated with each other, but they won’t actually take the time to help you out. Friends can. You might not be close to them, but they’ll still put in a good word for you at a place to help get you a new job or something.

 

[CBear]

Garbage right here. Having less friends = growing up? That means that I’ve gotten more immature as I’ve aged, and I know that isn’t true. You don’t want 2 or 3 super close friends, you want a big social network. It’s always better than having a few small good friends. I’ve tried the latter before and I’ve also tried building up a huge social network. Society always told me how it’s better to have just a few really close friends than a whole bunch of friends that aren’t as close. I listened, and got ****ed for it. It’s always better to have more friends. More connections, more opportunities, and you can get them closer if you want. Lose one friend, no big deal because you still got a whole group. One of the biggest pieces of social bull**** I’ve ever heard was it being better choosing a few really close friends over an entire group not as close. It’s just NOT true.

One thing that I have noticed as I grow older is that friends come and go and this includes the best of friends that you've grown up with and spent years getting real close to, people I've called brothers. It's not a big deal, it's just the way it is. Life happens. Today, I believe that it's better to establish some kind of connection with every friend that you have but never get super close. I agree that having a big social network of all sorts of people is the best way to go. IMO It's also great to get friends of different backgrounds with similarities together as this helps your personal network get bigger and bigger. I've gotten friends together from the gym, from my cultural background, from school, and guys who have similar career aspirations as I do and they all end up getting very well together because we all give off a similar vibe. We all establish a connection with each other and this makes for a bigger group of people who you get close with through experiences you end up having but not TOO close. I've had some of the best experiences doing things and going places with people I met from totally different places and ended up getting together. This benefits everyone and it's never a big deal if you lose anyone because you still have a big group regardless.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

One thing that I have noticed as I grow older is that friends come and go and this includes the best of friends that you've grown up with and spent years getting real close to, people I've called brothers. It's not a big deal, it's just the way it is. Life happens. Today, I believe that it's better to establish some kind of connection with every friend that you have but never get super close. I agree that having a big social network of all sorts of people is the best way to go. IMO It's also great to get friends of different backgrounds with similarities together as this helps your personal network get bigger and bigger. I've gotten friends together from the gym, from my cultural background, from school, and guys who have similar career aspirations as I do and they all end up getting very well together because we all give off a similar vibe. We all establish a connection with each other and this makes for a bigger group of people who you get close with through experiences you end up having but not TOO close. I've had some of the best experiences doing things and going places with people I met from totally different places and ended up getting together. This benefits everyone and it's never a big deal if you lose anyone because you still have a big group regardless.

My point exactly.