Yes, they matter. But a lot of women wont chase you (like
@BeExcellent for example). You could have solid looks but if you never initiate, never escalate, never lead the interaction etc you are going to leave a bunch of p00zy on the table.
One major problem I face is the fact I never really learned how to escalate.
In college, rather than getting laid by female classmates I met organically, I got all of my sex through tech methods.
Using tech methods in college was a cheat code that helped me at the time, yet hurt me in the long run. A cheat code in the sense that I never had to escalate, never had to develop game, etc (all I had to do was exchange a picture of myself as well as a few messages...the woman would then come over and bang me)
As an analogy, a student who cheats his way through Algebra 1 might get an A in the class, yet will then be extremely unprepared for Algebra 2. My college sex was Algebra 1 (which I cheated through). Getting sex as a 33 year old in the 2025 real world is Algebra 2.
Looks really matter. And, despite what some argue, if you are GL, you can be a clueless dork and women will still pounce on you. Being GL is a massive cheat code.
The fact I'm a good-looking guy who hasn't had free sex in 4 years pokes a hole in your theory.
I understand and i agree but initally will you even give an ugly guy a shot? Ive asked most girls ive been this this question and they said no
Back when I worked in stores, I had 2 different ugly male coworkers pull female customers simply from being muscular alphas.
Hell, even if they weren't muscular, they likely still would have pulled solely from being alphas. Being an alpha will make a woman overlook all sorts of flaws (including bad looks)
Is this based on your experience, or is this based on your expectations?
How would you describe your internal emotional state?
I'm 41, 5' 10", ~15% body fat. I did nine cold approaches of women between 18 and 21-ish last month, and was rejected all nine times.
I have little desire to communicate with women over the age of about 22 in a sexual way, and zero desire if they are over 30. If what you are saying is true, then I might be an incel. Dang.
Preferring an age bracket where the vast majority would auto-reject you (solely based on your age) sucks. In either direction. I'm in the opposite boat. I'm 33, yet prefer a woman be 45-60s.
In what way are you saying I'm content with mediocrity? I brought up how your friends are doing. They sound like they are doing well with the ladies. If women are approaching them and are doing most of the work, if they have dating apps and are meeting women that way, and you call that medicore then that sounds like a good outcome with me. How can you frame that as a bad outcome unless you are jealous that you are putting more effort, geting more rejections, and wasting more of your time and life energy while they don't have to do all of that?
One pet peeve of mine is the fact not every man understands: What works for
you (and no, I don't mean you personally) won't necessarily work for another guy.
Too many men will sh1t on a guy with a different approach to woman-hunting.
For example, it's been said on this forum that bars, clubs, and beaches are ideal places to meet a woman.
I don't live anywhere near the ocean.
Night clubs would be miserable for me (to the point where it seriously wouldn't be worth it for me to go, even if I'd get guaranteed sex with a woman who's my type)
As for bars, they aren't
as miserable for me as night clubs (I can even enjoy myself at a bar under certain circumstances). Staying at a bar until closing time (or hopping from bar to bar throughout the night) would be misery for me, however (and once again, it seriously wouldn't be worth it for me, even if I were guaranteed to get sex from my ideal woman)
For a guy like me, apps are perhaps a better option.
