How many times...?

[acw]

How many times will you ask a Girl to meet you?

I've been hitting on younger females (late 20's for me) and i hear a lot of advice being through my way....like "time" and "patience"...

I'm used to women who say yes...and mean it. When i ask a chick to meet me....its usually yes...or some excuse.

ME: "I mean you gave me your number...what did you think i wanted?"

Anyway, i saw this one Girl tonight at her Job, i happened to need some supplies, and we had a Confab for about 5 mins (HB, 26y, 8).

She gladly gave me her number a few weeks ago...but when i asked her to meet me (through text) she never said yes or no....so i take that as a no. When i questioned her tonight she started asking me all the typical young girl questions (r u married, where's your GF, etc).

I put her at ease and she seemed receptive (constantly staring at me with her big brown eyes).

Anyway, i got a lot of numbers so i'm not sweating it...

BUT....i wanted to hear from other DJ's what they do.

A Girl gives you her number (eagerly)...How many times will you ask a her to meet with you?

 

[Night Owl]

Never - I let them all chase me and ask me out. I play hard to get and finally give in only if I think they are top notch. These women are the only ones worth going out with....

 

[edger]

Never - I let them all chase me and ask me out. I play hard to get.

I agree, that's the nicest way to go about it, I try to do that as much as I can(unless I've been forced to do otherwise like you said), but lots of times too it's never worked.

 

[Mr. Me]

>> How many times will you ask a Girl to meet you? >>

Once. They'll either say "yes" or find a thousand different ways to say "no" without usually saying the word itself.

>> ME: "I mean you gave me your number...what did you think I wanted?" >>

If you find yourself saying anything like that, make a note that it means she's not interested.

>> She gladly gave me her number a few weeks ago...but when I asked her to meet me (through text) she never said yes or no. >>

Ask/invite a girl out by phone (and not her VM), not by text. Texting permits too many slips and dodges to occur that can't occur if you've got her on the phone. She can't, for example, claim she never got your call. She can't wait two days before answering you, etc. I say it's about running a tight ship at that stage and disarming her from the ways she can keep you stalled: You've got her on the phone, it's a live conversation, you make her laugh with chit chat for five minutes and then you invite her out to something and she either says yes or gives you an excuse not to see you. Simple.

>> When I questioned her tonight she started asking me all the typical young girl questions (r u married, where's your GF, etc).

I put her at ease and she seemed receptive (constantly staring at me with her big brown eyes).>>

Asking you those questions is a good thing, sounds like she's sussing you out. However, you have to keep in mind that she didn't answer your text, so maybe she's got low interest, which is a minor half step over having no interest at all. So did you get a date out of her while you were face-to-face?

And what do you mean "put her at ease"? That's where you could be ramping up her attraction, by teasing her about her questions.

>> A Girl gives you her number (eagerly)...How many times will you ask a her to meet with you? >>

To repeat: Once.

She may give you the number eagerly, BUT... is it because she wanted to get rid of you, is it because she wanted to seem popular in front of other people that were there, is it because it stroked her ego to give you her number yet she had no intention of ever answering your call, etc. Yep, chicks give numbers out for all sorts of reasons. Her motive gets revealed when you do call subsequently for a date.

And even then, she could say "yes" and then flake, meaning she said yes knowing she wasn't going to keep the date because she can't say no.

>> i hear a lot of advice being through my way....like "time" and "patience">>

Well, if they're telling you that because you're calling the very next day for a date and then leaving umpteen messages every couple of hours and texting and emailing and IMing and pushing and rushing things, then yeah, patience goes a long way. But if they're telling you that because they think perseverance will make her change her mind and gain her approval and love, like in some John Cusack movie, then they're dead wrong.

 

[jophil28]

>> How many times will you ask a Girl to meet you? >>

Once. They'll either say "yes" or find a thousand different ways to say "no" without usually saying the word itself.

Agreed, unless she offers a VERY credible reason why she is declining and perhaps makes a counter offer or gives strong buying signals..."I really cant this Saturday, Jophil. I have plans to go see my family in Hickstown. Maybe the following weekend ...I will be free."

IF you 'sense' that she is making lame excuses and stalling or fobbing you off, then you are right - she is.
AS Mr ME says, women have a thousand ways of saying NO without using the word.
Remember that English is their second language. 'Covert' is their native tongue.

The old rule always applies.. pursue only woman who are demonstrating high interest. HOw do you know if she is interested and not just playing "hard to get" ?
It does not matter - "hard to get" women are usually conceited and vain...they are the 'prize' at least in their self delusions.
Do you want to spend your time getting twisted out of shape by playing her mindgames ?

 

[Mr. Me]

This might very well be another area where Jophil and I agree, and everyone else may disagree. I simply think he and I have been at this longer. The guys that disagree will tell you about the time they persued a flake and three months later happened to nail her. Jophil and I tend to think that the effort and time used to chase after her could've been applied to finding higher IL chicks instead with accordingly much more prolific results and way less hassle. Plus it feels so good when they're all over you rather then struggling for it...

>> unless she offers a VERY credible reason why she is declining and perhaps makes a counter offer >>

No "perhaps" about it. Girls are good at giving very credible sounding excuses, so I wouldn't go with that alone. There has to be a specific counter offer (if she declines) to signal her interest. An answer like a vague "maybe next week?" has to be pushed by the guy asking back because that could still be a stall. Fire right back with "Okay, what day do you have in mind?" to see if she's being genuine.

>> How do you know if she is interested and not just playing "hard to get"? It does not matter >>

Well, the way to understand it is like this: A chick that is really interested will forgo playing hard to get if she senses she's losing you, or if she becomes fearful that she may lose you if she continues to play hard to get. She's not going to take the chance that playing her game will have her lose out on the possible love of her life. So, bottom line, even if that's her game, her higher IL will likely make her stop going by the "rules".

 

[decades]

once.

 

[edger]

There has to be a specific counter offer (if she declines) to signal her interest. An answer like a vague "maybe next week?" has to be pushed by the guy asking back because that could still be a stall. Fire right back with "Okay, what day do you have in mind?" to see if she's being genuine.

I can only see a vague answer to mean she's not interested. I don't think there's a need to push it any further. If she was interested, don't you think she'd say, "Maybe next week, how's Tuesday?" ? She'd be specific.