IKO69
Master Don Juan
there used to be a person in my life i was fond of and had a chance at. this particular person was very desirable and even open to the idea but to make a long story short- the failure occurred to having had little experience and not enough confidence to seize the opportunity, in short afc-ism.
what happened afterwards was a massive oneitis that went on for year and years. think about other girls? yeah right, never mind actively pursue them. other opportunities came up that weren't taken advantage of because ultimately it wasn't the "right" person.
over and over the situation was analyzed. what went wrong, what i should've done instead and how i would be sure to shine if i ever got another opportunity. how i always hoped for that damn opportunity.
it was only recently that after thinking about it i just said **** this. i'm a good guy with tremendous potential and i don't say this to make myself feel better, i really mean this and i know this deep down. the oneitis has been like a huge anchor in my life for the past few years. she was not without fault, but it's true that i view myself as being partly responsible as i was anything but a casanova-i tried as hard as i could to the best of my ability. being much older and wiser i can see where i had made some mistakes and would not commit them today.
a part of me felt wronged, like how could you reject me, and though i believe i had a right to feel this way...i see where it's just been a giant waste of time to have put my life on hold. put my life on hold because of someone who honestly didn't deserve the torture i've put myself through. i guess it's normal for us to feel this way whenever we fall short. we wish we could make them change their minds, after all they are out of their minds for rejecting us how could they do that?? instead of letting it be and moving on, we hang on to the hope that one day maybe we can change things.
i have a box full of **** related to her i've kept all these years. has letters we exchanged, pictures, things i wrote yadda yadda. for the longest time it was a sort of prized possession of mine. i cared for her so much i kept these things (oddly enough it was very painful at the same time to keep).
i wonder how many of your have ever experienced something like this? i imagine it's something at least some can resonate with.
i decided that i'm going to take the box of **** and just get rid of it.
thanks for reading, henry
what happened afterwards was a massive oneitis that went on for year and years. think about other girls? yeah right, never mind actively pursue them. other opportunities came up that weren't taken advantage of because ultimately it wasn't the "right" person.
over and over the situation was analyzed. what went wrong, what i should've done instead and how i would be sure to shine if i ever got another opportunity. how i always hoped for that damn opportunity.
it was only recently that after thinking about it i just said **** this. i'm a good guy with tremendous potential and i don't say this to make myself feel better, i really mean this and i know this deep down. the oneitis has been like a huge anchor in my life for the past few years. she was not without fault, but it's true that i view myself as being partly responsible as i was anything but a casanova-i tried as hard as i could to the best of my ability. being much older and wiser i can see where i had made some mistakes and would not commit them today.
a part of me felt wronged, like how could you reject me, and though i believe i had a right to feel this way...i see where it's just been a giant waste of time to have put my life on hold. put my life on hold because of someone who honestly didn't deserve the torture i've put myself through. i guess it's normal for us to feel this way whenever we fall short. we wish we could make them change their minds, after all they are out of their minds for rejecting us how could they do that?? instead of letting it be and moving on, we hang on to the hope that one day maybe we can change things.
i have a box full of **** related to her i've kept all these years. has letters we exchanged, pictures, things i wrote yadda yadda. for the longest time it was a sort of prized possession of mine. i cared for her so much i kept these things (oddly enough it was very painful at the same time to keep).
i wonder how many of your have ever experienced something like this? i imagine it's something at least some can resonate with.
i decided that i'm going to take the box of **** and just get rid of it.
thanks for reading, henry