How many of you are married ?! If so are you sleeping with other women.

[kzar_kzar]

My advice, get married if you want. Play around if you want. But don't have "affairs." That is, if a piece of tail comes wagging, go for it but do it once and get out. Make sure she's cool with a ONS and nothing more.

It's when men start weeks-long side relationships, going on dates, and even having kids outside of marriage that they truly fukk themselves. Unless he's a billionaire but even then, be discreet and smart.

Yup that’s what I’m thinking about, a regular fwb maybe, or random ons, random ons can be abit of work as need to put myself out there.
Totally understandable on last part

 

[Dr_jitsu]

If you read my posts, you will notice that I call it a 'congruency test'. Sh!t test is too negative and will influence how you approach being tested. And the fact is, you will get tested less and less the more congruent you are, the more authentic you are, and the more integrity you show. If a woman feels safe with you, she won't feel the need to test you that often. Once in a while, when she feels you pay her less attention and give her less validation, she will want to be noticed and she'll start testing you again to see if she can annoy you. That's why you should never show annoyance, but calmly address her like a bratty teenager.


The priority for women in relationships is safety. So they look for someone who will protect and support them while also be capable of providing resources and having a high status within the tribe. A mature man who has emotional self control and will not act impulsively.

Congruency testing starts when a woman doubts whether you're the man you claim to be. You act mature, but are you really in control of your emotions?
Will you allow her to manipulate you emotionally and show incongruence by becoming emotional? Can she pull you into her drama and argue with her? Will your ego take over when she challenges you?
Or will you calmly assert your boundaries while showing her compassion? Can you soothe her and make her feel secure?


The need for women to test for congruency is more necessary than ever. With the growing individualism the fabric of tribal society has lost its threads, making it difficult to observe someone within society. Interaction has become more and more superficial, so women have to put a potential suitor to the test to see if they are mature enough for a relationship. To test if they have their life together so the woman doesn't become their mommy. To test if they are supportive enough to dependably lean on. Et cetera.

This is all pretty consistent with my view of tests. The bottom line is not to be drawn into an argument (the test). Stay calm, cool, tell her "sweetie, I see you are upset but I am not going to argue." Then remove yourself from the situation.

That sends the message "if you want to be around me you cannot start arguments."

 

[jhonny9546]

My wife says something to provoke me. If I argue I fail the test. Here is what I do instead: I say "sweetie, I see you are upset. However I am not going to argue with you and we can talk later." I then leave (go to the gym, work, etc.).

This is really what you do everytime? How do you speak, which is your voice tone?

On days she does not cook, the LAST thing you want to do is become upset.

Sorry to bother, but I just saw thing in other LTR's: the man getting upset because she didn't prepare for him, so "she must told him before, so he could get organized for it".
Also, this is just me, but I cannot say a women i don't like the food she prepared for me, but I would always compliment her or show "affection" somehow.
This is a thing that is innate with me. What do you do here?

That's why you should never show annoyance, but calmly address her like a bratty teenager.

Sorry to ask again, what is your voice tone here?
La priorità per le donne nelle relazioni è la sicurezza. Quindi cercano qualcuno che le protegga e le sostenga, ma che sia anche in grado di fornire risorse e di avere uno status elevato all'interno della tribù. Un uomo maturo che abbia autocontrollo emotivo e non agisca impulsivamente.
Nice theory on "conguency" instead of "**** test". Thanks for the term!

 

[Pandora]

I have been happily married for 18 years. I wanted a family, especially a son that I have today. Here is a clip of my son wrestling this weekend. Shaping and molding my son into into an elite athlete has been one of the biggest pleasures of my life. 533208349249932

However if you want to get married you had damned well better have a rigorous system/program/machine in place to select and maintain a wife. 50% of marriages end in divorce. Of those, 70% are filed by women. Another study found that 74% of married men are unhappily married. So really, only a very small portion of men are happily married.

You must do 2 major things in order to be happily married. The first is selection. Only about 1 in 3 (or 4) women in America are marriage material. That means even if you did everything right your marriage would still be a failure because it is impossible to maintain a good relationship with most women under our current cultural and legal framework.


Now even if you get a good one you have to maintain that relationship. You have to keep your woman in love which is a never ending job. It does get easier, but never ends.

The above can be done. I just published a video on this process (one of many, I also wrote a book) but to summarize you go through 5 main stages. First you have to build your rotation. You have to open women daily, get pots of phone numbers, and date many women until you have 3 high quality women you are seeing each week, for example a Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday gal. Then you will have to manage your rotation. At this point these high quality women will be competing for you (and giving your the best sex ever). After 7-8 weeks you will start to know if there is LTR with a woman and you will either drop her (will happen many times) or commit to her.

Once you commit to a women you stop seeing others and hustling phone numbers. At this point you must get "The Golden Year." That is one year of a perfect relationship, no fights, no major red flags, no major problems. She will be a loving giver. If not you break it off and start the process again. I went through this last stage multiple times (was engaged) but ended it. Marriage and babies will not fix problems.

Finally you will get that Golden Year. That is the woman you marry.

Here is a picture of me and my wife. You can see that I am old and ugly and she is much younger and still very pretty. She is a boss girl but also very loving and cooks every night: photo

Thanks for this post bro. How many kids did you end up having? Did you get married in the USA?

 

[Dr_jitsu]

Thanks for this post bro. How many kids did you end up having? Did you get married in the USA?

Only 1. My wife had a couple of miscarriages. She was over30....another reason to always marry younger, never older. Yes we got married in the US. I bought the ring and my wife 100% did the wedding.

 

[Dr_jitsu]

This is really what you do everytime? How do you speak, which is your voice tone?
Sorry to bother, but I just saw thing in other LTR's: the man getting upset because she didn't prepare for him, so "she must told him before, so he could get organized for it".
Also, this is just me, but I cannot say a women i don't like the food she prepared for me, but I would always compliment her or show "affection" somehow.
This is a thing that is innate with me. What do you do here?

Sorry to ask again, what is your voice tone here?
La priorità per le donne nelle relazioni è la sicurezza. Quindi cercano qualcuno che le protegga e le sostenga, ma che sia anche in grado di fornire risorse e di avere uno status elevato all'interno della tribù. Un uomo maturo che abbia autocontrollo emotivo e non agisca impulsivamente.
Nice theory on "conguency" instead of "**** test". Thanks for the term!

Sorry for late response. I always stay calm. If you get worked up you fail the test. In terms of food quality, my wife is a pretty good cook so I never complain. Her food is way better than anything I make, LOL.

 

[corrector]

I have been happily married for 18 years. I wanted a family, especially a son that I have today. Here is a clip of my son wrestling this weekend. Shaping and molding my son into into an elite athlete has been one of the biggest pleasures of my life. 533208349249932

However if you want to get married you had damned well better have a rigorous system/program/machine in place to select and maintain a wife. 50% of marriages end in divorce. Of those, 70% are filed by women. Another study found that 74% of married men are unhappily married. So really, only a very small portion of men are happily married.

You must do 2 major things in order to be happily married. The first is selection. Only about 1 in 3 (or 4) women in America are marriage material. That means even if you did everything right your marriage would still be a failure because it is impossible to maintain a good relationship with most women under our current cultural and legal framework.


Now even if you get a good one you have to maintain that relationship. You have to keep your woman in love which is a never ending job. It does get easier, but never ends.

The above can be done. I just published a video on this process (one of many, I also wrote a book) but to summarize you go through 5 main stages. First you have to build your rotation. You have to open women daily, get pots of phone numbers, and date many women until you have 3 high quality women you are seeing each week, for example a Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday gal. Then you will have to manage your rotation. At this point these high quality women will be competing for you (and giving your the best sex ever). After 7-8 weeks you will start to know if there is LTR with a woman and you will either drop her (will happen many times) or commit to her.

Once you commit to a women you stop seeing others and hustling phone numbers. At this point you must get "The Golden Year." That is one year of a perfect relationship, no fights, no major red flags, no major problems. She will be a loving giver. If not you break it off and start the process again. I went through this last stage multiple times (was engaged) but ended it. Marriage and babies will not fix problems.

Finally you will get that Golden Year. That is the woman you marry.

Here is a picture of me and my wife. You can see that I am old and ugly and she is much younger and still very pretty. She is a boss girl but also very loving and cooks every night: photo

If 70% are filed by women, the other 30% must be triggered by them (either they cheated, abused the husband, or berated him badly and harassed him to divorce her) Just because a guy filed it does not mean he wanted to.

I filed mine and did not bother getting a divorce certificate. My ex wife asked me for one and I told her she had to get it on her own. See whose heart was really in that divorce. Who files it does not mean much. Whose fault is the divorce is more the issue.

 

[DJ Novice]

OP, from an ex married guy my advice to you is don’t go down this path.

Divorce laws are not favourable to men and it’s just a case of when, not if, you will get caught cheating.

Plus if you plan on having children then they may never forgive you.

If you must stray stick to s*x workers; do not head down the affair or side chick route.

Spinning plates is best done while not being married or not having a live in relationship.

I spin plates myself when the opportunity arises and while it sounds great the reality is (for me at least) it’s a logistical nightmare and a big time and money commitment.

Messages and phone calls from plates popping up unexpectedly when out on dates, having to make up excuses for double booked dates and what you are/were doing when you don’t return their messages/calls, having to constantly clean up for stray hairs, underwear, hair ties and the like, having to always wash bedsheets after a plate has visited etc. Less ‘me’ time. Lots of $ spent on multiple dates.

It’s a lot of work. But if you want variety that’s the price you pay.

I just don’t how you could pull this off successfully if you are married or living with a girl,

 

[kzar_kzar]

OP, from an ex married guy my advice to you is don’t go down this path.

Divorce laws are not favourable to men and it’s just a case of when, not if, you will get caught cheating.

Plus if you plan on having children then they may never forgive you.

If you must stray stick to s*x workers; do not head down the affair or side chick route.

Spinning plates is best done while not being married or not having a live in relationship.

I spin plates myself when the opportunity arises and while it sounds great the reality is (for me at least) it’s a logistical nightmare and a big time and money commitment.

Messages and phone calls from plates popping up unexpectedly when out on dates, having to make up excuses for double booked dates and what you are/were doing when you don’t return their messages/calls, having to constantly clean up for stray hairs, underwear, hair ties and the like, having to always wash bedsheets after a plate has visited etc. Less ‘me’ time. Lots of $ spent on multiple dates.

It’s a lot of work. But if you want variety that’s the price you pay.

I just don’t how you could pull this off successfully if you are married or living with a girl,

Thanks buddy!
I’ll keep updates on forum, let’s see what I will settle on

 

[Dr_jitsu]

Guys: Do NOT get married unless you are absolutely committed to being 100% faithful. Open women. Talk to women. Have women as friends. Dance with other women. But absolutely NO sexual contact.

Ring up that body count. Triple digits. Spin plates...tons of them. Run a 3 woman rotation for years. Sow a thousand wild oats. Marry a much younger woman. Don't settle, only the best.

I also recommend getting married later in life, after 35. But marriage means you no longer have sex with anyone else. Period.

 

[john1234]

My advice, get married if you want. Play around if you want. But don't have "affairs." That is, if a piece of tail comes wagging, go for it but do it once and get out. Make sure she's cool with a ONS and nothing more.

It's when men start weeks-long side relationships, going on dates, and even having kids outside of marriage that they truly fukk themselves. Unless he's a billionaire but even then, be discreet and smart.

Yeah, women can behave the same way too, though it’s less common, in my experience.

I once hooked up with a 23-year-old woman who turned out to be married, I didn’t know at the time. A rule of mine is to never smash married women, I don't want trouble.

She was on a sort of holiday and seemed to be having issues with her husband. I ended up smashing her a couple of times. She definitely kept her situation well hidden. Damn, she was tight. With all this BREXIT nonsense, she went back to her home country.

As for the original question, I think it really depends on the state of the marriage. If the relationship is falling apart and the guy still has value or appeal among women, there’s definitely a chance he might step out. But from what I’ve seen, it can honestly go either way.

 

[SW15]

50% of marriages end in divorce. Of those, 70% are filed by women. Another study found that 74% of married men are unhappily married. So really, only a very small portion of men are happily married.

The statistics are important. The realization that only a small portion of married men are happy is also important for men to understand.

There was a huge wedding cycle among my similarly aged family members, friends, and acquaintances during the 2010s/early 2020s. Most of my local area social circle got married between 2014-2021. There was a big flurry of weddings around 2017. There was also a laggard 2023 wedding of a friend whose fiancée excluded me from attending.

These people who married between 2014-2023 followed the NPC life script and had babies within a few years of the wedding day. Some even had to do IVF to make that a reality. These were blue pilled ideology men and their wives doing what everyone does. This even led to the creation of an ongoing thread on this forum.

Pregnancy Announcements Everywhere! Life When Your Blue Pill Social Circle Starts Having Babies

Yesterday, I was on my Instagram and saw a pregnancy announcement from an acquaintance's wife in my social circle. I don't particularly like her. I find it annoying to be around her the 1-2 times a year I ever randomly see her in person. Right now, there are 3 women from my local area social...

www.sosuave.net

Multiple married men from my social circle have complained to me about their sex lives and their child-rearing lifestyles. While all these men and their wives like to post happy pics and videos on Facebook and Instagram, it's not reality. They do it for the validation and getting Likes/Comments.

When the wedding cycle was at its peak in my social circle in the 2nd half of the 2010s and I was nowhere near marriage, I had to think about my own path in life. It was difficult to see the flurry of weddings and not being a part of it. There was never one special day where I was the center of attention. I did experience some feelings of being out-of-place within my own social circle when that was first happening. To this day, I am an outlier in my social circle. However, I don't care anymore about choosing my own life script and my own path forward as a seduction focused guy who doesn't stay in relationships long enough for them to go stale.

I don't want to be the guy whose wife files for divorce on him while they have 1-2 kids, some mortgage on a house in the suburbs, and possibly car payments.

My lifestyle is freedom focused and I like that.

Guys: Do NOT get married unless you are absolutely committed to being 100% faithful.

I think that's helpful advice but limited in value. Even if a man does that, there's always a chance for a woman to be unfaithful. Women today now have more abundance and have more options to be unfaithful.

Additionally, a woman's sexual frigidity with a husband can cause him to seek sex outside the marriage. Men have more of a desire to have multiple partners at the same time, but less opportunity to do it. Women have less of a desire to that, but far more opportunities to do it.

always marry younger, never older.

This is very important. As a man, there are a lot of downsides with marrying an older woman. This is even true with even a slightly older woman, something like a few months to 2.5 years older.

Since my mid-20s, I have made an effort to date women younger than I am. Even if it is slightly younger (a few months), I still date younger. I will not date any older woman.

Ring up that body count. Triple digits. Spin plates...tons of them. Run a 3 woman rotation for years. Sow a thousand wild oats. Marry a much younger woman. Don't settle, only the best.

This is the best thing you've said. This is a path I've followed. I have a body count that is above average compared to most men.

@BPH is doing well with this as his notch count will soon reach the triple digits.

I also recommend getting married later in life, after 35. But marriage means you no longer have sex with anyone else. Period.

I lean more towards "never get married" (the path I've followed) as compared to getting married after a 35th birthday.

There are a fair amount of complications with getting married after a 35th birthday. If a man 35-39 years marries a similarly aged, slightly younger woman, there may be fertility complications. IVF might happen or adoption might happen. If she can get pregnant, the pregnancy may be lower quality and she ends up giving birth to a child with significant issues. It is the best idea for men who get married after their 35th birthdays to marry much younger.

Even if a man is able to marry 5+ years younger after 35 and has a child through natural conception, he's still going to be an older father and financially responsible for children later into life. White collar layoffs after age 50 might be more difficult for him or his body breaking down after 50 from blue collar work are considerations. Men dealing with IVF babies and adopted children will still deal with these difficult financial realities.

There's something valuable about getting married younger, having children younger, and being empty nesters younger.

Only a certain subset of people do what I mentioned in the last sentence.

The trend is now later marriages with a similarly aged man and woman getting married around 30 and having 1-2 Last Call babies somewhere in their 30s.

 

[Dr_jitsu]

The statistics are important. The realization that only a small portion of married men are happy is also important for men to understand.

There was a huge wedding cycle among my similarly aged family members, friends, and acquaintances during the 2010s/early 2020s. Most of my local area social circle got married between 2014-2021. There was a big flurry of weddings around 2017. There was also a laggard 2023 wedding of a friend whose fiancée excluded me from attending.

These people who married between 2014-2023 followed the NPC life script and had babies within a few years of the wedding day. Some even had to do IVF to make that a reality. These were blue pilled ideology men and their wives doing what everyone does. This even led to the creation of an ongoing thread on this forum.

Pregnancy Announcements Everywhere! Life When Your Blue Pill Social Circle Starts Having Babies

Yesterday, I was on my Instagram and saw a pregnancy announcement from an acquaintance's wife in my social circle. I don't particularly like her. I find it annoying to be around her the 1-2 times a year I ever randomly see her in person. Right now, there are 3 women from my local area social...

www.sosuave.net

Multiple married men from my social circle have complained to me about their sex lives and their child-rearing lifestyles. While all these men and their wives like to post happy pics and videos on Facebook and Instagram, it's not reality. They do it for the validation and getting Likes/Comments.

When the wedding cycle was at its peak in my social circle in the 2nd half of the 2010s and I was nowhere near marriage, I had to think about my own path in life. It was difficult to see the flurry of weddings and not being a part of it. There was never one special day where I was the center of attention. I did experience some feelings of being out-of-place within my own social circle when that was first happening. To this day, I am an outlier in my social circle. However, I don't care anymore about choosing my own life script and my own path forward as a seduction focused guy who doesn't stay in relationships long enough for them to go stale.

I don't want to be the guy whose wife files for divorce on him while they have 1-2 kids, some mortgage on a house in the suburbs, and possibly car payments.

My lifestyle is freedom focused and I like that.



I think that's helpful advice but limited in value. Even if a man does that, there's always a chance for a woman to be unfaithful. Women today now have more abundance and have more options to be unfaithful.

Additionally, a woman's sexual frigidity with a husband can cause him to seek sex outside the marriage. Men have more of a desire to have multiple partners at the same time, but less opportunity to do it. Women have less of a desire to that, but far more opportunities to do it.



This is very important. As a man, there are a lot of downsides with marrying an older woman. This is even true with even a slightly older woman, something like a few months to 2.5 years older.

Since my mid-20s, I have made an effort to date women younger than I am. Even if it is slightly younger (a few months), I still date younger. I will not date any older woman.



This is the best thing you've said. This is a path I've followed. I have a body count that is above average compared to most men.

@BPH is doing well with this as his notch count will soon reach the triple digits.



I lean more towards "never get married" (the path I've followed) as compared to getting married after a 35th birthday.

There are a fair amount of complications with getting married after a 35th birthday. If a man 35-39 years marries a similarly aged, slightly younger woman, there may be fertility complications. IVF might happen or adoption might happen. If she can get pregnant, the pregnancy may be lower quality and she ends up giving birth to a child with significant issues. It is the best idea for men who get married after their 35th birthdays to marry much younger.

Even if a man is able to marry 5+ years younger after 35 and has a child through natural conception, he's still going to be an older father and financially responsible for children later into life. White collar layoffs after age 50 might be more difficult for him or his body breaking down after 50 from blue collar work are considerations. Men dealing with IVF babies and adopted children will still deal with these difficult financial realities.

There's something valuable about getting married younger, having children younger, and being empty nesters younger.

Only a certain subset of people do what I mentioned in the last sentence.

The trend is now later marriages with a similarly aged man and woman getting married around 30 and having 1-2 Last Call babies somewhere in their 30s.

You make some excellent points in your post, but I am only going to address the last one. One of the pillars of my recommendations, and consistent with the principles of this forum, is that men be gym rats. I also push martial arts. I trained in martial arts until my late 50's and still bodybuilding religiously heading into my 63rd year.

I got married at 43 and had my son at 44. My wife was 29. I was very much able to be active with my son, body building together from his age of 11 through almost 17 (he wants to only train with his friends now) and teaching him martial arts. We rolled (BJJ) until he was 15. I did have trouble holding the mitts for him in his striking training due to shoulder problems but I was pretty much active with him until his senior year of high school. By this time he was an elite level 190 lb wrestler, and no I can't hang with him anymore.

I want for us to weight train together and I want his to do some heavy bag work (while I coach him) but he says he is no longer interested in martial arts. I also think he wants to individuate, not hang out with his dad much anymore. Teenagers are that way. But the point is I was able to be active with my son well into his senior year of high school and he became a very elite athlete (wrestling team captain, state finalist...he was a high level football player also). The takeaway is if you yourself stay fit you can be an older and involved father.

I support marriage, but not before the age of 35.

 

[SW15]

The takeaway is if you yourself stay fit you can be an older and involved father.

You can be. That doesn't mitigate the financial risks of being an older father though. Since I turned 35, I started thinking about the possibility of children and how they would affect my retirement planning.

I support marriage, but not before the age of 35.

That's a viewpoint I've heard before but not sure how common it is.

I am less motivated by my notch count since I turned 35.

I still like new pussie though. I could envision how other men would be able to be more faithful after 35 than before it.

The more religious men marrying religious women might be able to get away with earlier marriages.

I went to a larger public university in the United States with a solid party scene. I didn't know too many people who ended up marrying their college sweetheart from that school. The majority of the early Millennials that attended the same college I attended at the same time ended up marrying someone that they met post college. These were later marriages between 25-34 to give a wide range.

 

[Vanderdonck]

Yeah, women can behave the same way too, though it’s less common, in my experience.

That's because 100% monogamy is not compatible with human nature.

 

[Dr_jitsu]

You can be. That doesn't mitigate the financial risks of being an older father though. Since I turned 35, I started thinking about the possibility of children and how they would affect my retirement planning.



That's a viewpoint I've heard before but not sure how common it is.

I am less motivated by my notch count since I turned 35.

I still like new pussie though. I could envision how other men would be able to be more faithful after 35 than before it.

The more religious men marrying religious women might be able to get away with earlier marriages.

I went to a larger public university in the United States with a solid party scene. I didn't know too many people who ended up marrying their college sweetheart from that school. The majority of the early Millennials that attended the same college I attended at the same time ended up marrying someone that they met post college. These were later marriages between 25-34 to give a wide range.

I got divorced at 35... but once I got back into studying evolutionary biology and got into the seduction community I had some of the most amazing sexual experiences of my life. This lasted until the age of 44 when I remarried. Then the first few years of marriage were also filled with lots of sex. That eventually ratchet down to once a week. But at age 62 once a week isn't really that bad.

Yeah, I have a soon to be college student. I only have 35k in his college fund. But he is doing JC and then the local college which actually has a very good business program. Wife is making 100k plus bonus so she is going to take some of his educational financing burden.

 

[Dr_jitsu]

That's because 100% monogamy is not compatible with human nature.

If you are an alpha male you are going to want to bang as many women as possible, true. But at some point....like I said after 40 you trade that for the stability of a family. At least I did.

 

[Vanderdonck]

If you are an alpha male you are going to want to bang as many women as possible, true. But at some point....like I said after 40 you trade that for the stability of a family. At least I did.

I don't really subscribe to the "alpha" dogma but I think it applies universally. It's just not a tenable long term lifestyle. I do think people lose steam after 40 but given the right opportunity any person will say yes to some strange.

 

[SW15]

100% monogamy is not compatible with human nature.

I agree with this idea. It's part of the idea that I am most well known for on this forum in my 14,000+ posts.

The idea I'm most well known for on this forum is promoting the idea that longer term monogamous relationships experience decay over time. The decay typically becomes noticeable around Year 5 of the relationship when relationships last that long.

Sometimes what remains after decay sets in is worth keeping. It's still worthwhile. However, I think that's less common than what typically happens when the relationship passes the 5 year point. After the 5 year point, there's more of a desire to have new sex partners. There's far less sexual heat and passion.

In marriages, infidelity usually happens after the couple has been together 5 years. That 5 years refers to the total relationship time, including the time together as a non-marital couple before the wedding day.

If you are an alpha male you are going to want to bang as many women as possible, true. But at some point....like I said after 40 you trade that for the stability of a family.

I don't really subscribe to the "alpha" dogma but I think it applies universally. It's just not a tenable long term lifestyle. I do think people lose steam after 40 but given the right opportunity any person will say yes to some strange.

In general, I think alpha/sigma males do slow down in middle age. Somewhere around 30-40 is when alphas/sigmas start to experience an increased desire to pair bond longer term in a relationship. Betas with the blue pill ideology never experience the abundance of alpha/sigmas. They don't have the opportunity to have sex with many women, but they have less of the desire to do that as well.

Betas who are able to get into LTRs and relationships (either through social circles or dropping their standards far enough) will often settle down and have children earlier in life. Alpha/sigmas might settle down and traditionally monogamous marry somewhere in their 30s (often in the 35-39 part of the 30s).

40 something men are often excited about getting strange. A beta male in his 40s with a wife who is barely attracted to him and gives him limited sex will be excited for some new pussie. Alpha/sigma men in some sort of monogamous relationship might be in a little bit better situation because they have "game". They are still also likely to want some strange too to re-live their former lives too. This would happen due to the relationship decay I mentioned above.

 

[john1234]

I agree with this idea. It's part of the idea that I am most well known for on this forum in my 14,000+ posts.

The idea I'm most well known for on this forum is promoting the idea that longer term monogamous relationships experience decay over time. The decay typically becomes noticeable around Year 5 of the relationship when relationships last that long.

Sometimes what remains after decay sets in is worth keeping. It's still worthwhile. However, I think that's less common than what typically happens when the relationship passes the 5 year point. After the 5 year point, there's more of a desire to have new sex partners. There's far less sexual heat and passion.

In marriages, infidelity usually happens after the couple has been together 5 years. That 5 years refers to the total relationship time, including the time together as a non-marital couple before the wedding day.





In general, I think alpha/sigma males do slow down in middle age. Somewhere around 30-40 is when alphas/sigmas start to experience an increased desire to pair bond longer term in a relationship. Betas with the blue pill ideology never experience the abundance of alpha/sigmas. They don't have the opportunity to have sex with many women, but they have less of the desire to do that as well.

Betas who are able to get into LTRs and relationships (either through social circles or dropping their standards far enough) will often settle down and have children earlier in life. Alpha/sigmas might settle down and traditionally monogamous marry somewhere in their 30s (often in the 35-39 part of the 30s).

40 something men are often excited about getting strange. A beta male in his 40s with a wife who is barely attracted to him and gives him limited sex will be excited for some new pussie. Alpha/sigma men in some sort of monogamous relationship might be in a little bit better situation because they have "game". They are still also likely to want some strange too to re-live their former lives too. This would happen due to the relationship decay I mentioned above.

Relationship decay, most interesting!

It seems that non beta men are more likely to seek casual encounters when the marriage is on the decline, especially if they’re still seen as desirable by other women.However, women tend to do so during or after the actual breakdown of the marriage, to get something better.

I don't think men here will grass on themselves, but OP , many girls I have smashed, said that they come across many married men hitting on them, pretty sure some were smashing them too.

From what I'm hearing, women initiate the majority of divorces, which is a whole separate discussion in itself. They'll find another rebound/ potential higher value man during the breakdown of marriage and the husband might not even know.

What are the signs of a marriage breaking down? Is relationship decay part of this?