SW15
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- May 31, 2020
- Messages
- 13,518
- Reaction score
- 11,380
Those are the stats of a top tier man that is most desired by women. It would be difficult for any random forum participant to figure out why a guy with those stats is struggling in the dating market.
Going out on a weekly basis means once a week, and that's not dedicating a life to it.
Dedicating a life to picking up women would involve either dates or new approaches at least 5-6 days a week. There have been phases of my life where I did that. It's exhausting for sure but what other better things could I have done? I needed vagina. Daygame can be inexpensive but it's an effort to linger in a mall or bookstore for hours even though it's free. Same with the parks or on a path.
At various times in my life, I dedicated a ton of time to either dating websites (pre-swipe app era) or dating swipe apps. I did not have good experiences with either. Dating websites and swipe apps are a time suck for most men. It was my experience with them that it would be possible to arrange more dates with either form as compared to just approaching women in real life but the majority of the dates would be complete garbage. It is a better use of time to do the in-person approaches, get the real world experience with them right away, go on fewer dates but have better quality dates. One bad outcome many men experience with online dating is the "one date, no sex, no second date" type interaction. It's best to avoid these. They are a waste of time, money, and effort. Sometimes, a woman is so bad on a date that you as the man will want to cut it short. However, in most cases, you as a man will be wanting more and she cuts it short. Too many of the situations described in the last sentence will be psychologically harmful.
There are a few ways to reduce "one date, no sex, no second date" type interactions. Some men swear by screening very hard on the swipe apps, but I haven't found that as effective as solely arranging dates through in-person methods.
I agree that metro areas are a relevant consideration.
If you're 25+ and find yourself unattached, an area with a population of less than 100,000 - 150,000 is likely not going to work. In a smaller area, there's a need to pair off early, with a high school girlfriend or a girlfriend from a small town college. Outside of that, those areas become very difficult due to lack of choices. Every metro under 150,000 is different. If you're 25+ and in a less populated area, there's a good chance you will need to move to a bigger city to improve your romantic life.
Moving from one area of 500,000+ to another area of 500,000+ is less likely to make a difference in one dating life. Once a population of an area gets into the hundreds of thousands, there are likely to be enough options. There are situations when certain populated metro areas are bad fits for a variety of reasons for certain people. I've seen it happen before. In those cases, moving can be justified.
Frequent relocations weaken social circles, and social circle is the easiest way to find "a girlfriend". Pay close attention to the words "a girlfriend". That means one girlfriend. If you're looking for an extended relationship (2-5 years or more), your best bet for getting that with the least amount of grief and frustration is social circle. Many men who get social circle girlfriends tend to retain those girlfriends for a long time and often beyond the useful life of the relationship. A lot of the social circle girlfriend guys are beta males and beta males operate from a scarcity mindset. It's common to see a 10 year relationship (and counting) relationship from social circle which does lead to a marriage proposal.
The problem with social circles becomes sustainability over a longer period of time (5+ years). Social circles have a way of getting pissed off at men who continually exchange girlfriends without marriage or babies, even if the relationships are semi-long (1-4 years). After 2 or so instances of medium term relationships, the social circle will run dry.
When a man relocates frequently, it means that he will likely have issues with having social circles and will need to be reliant upon either approaching strangers, using swipe apps, or using the DMs on social media platforms. All of those paths are more difficult paths in the short to medium term.
Wheat Waffles' dating flowchart is relevant here.
What you describe your quote is why approaching strangers can be very time consuming. Outside of having a pre-made social circle from not relocating much over the course of your lifetime, whichever game method you choose will often be time consuming, unless you're a Top 10% man (90th - 99th percentile). Men in the 80th - 89th percentile will still do pretty well, but have increasing amount of nonsense as a part of their effort. Below the 80th percentile means that it will be a big effort.
I've experienced what you've described in my efforts of doing non-bar approaching.
