How long do you maintain frame and game?

[DonJuanabe]

Anyone who thinks frame and game don't matter is an idiot. Unfortunately, in only one relationship have I maintained them throughout -- seven years and the breakup was because I didn't want to marry the girl. However, in my other relationships (if that's what you call 3 weeks to 3 months) I always seem to lose the frame and my game. I start out strong, things progress, but then something happens and I start going beta. Often, it occurs when the girl is upset about something -- instead of being cool and strong, or simply leaving if I get the feeling it has something to do with her feelings toward me (perhaps an ex is on her mind, or she's getting advice not to have sex too soon, whatever), I try to talk with the girl, let her know I'm there for her, and hear (rather than listen to) what she is saying. That always seems to be the point where I start feeling resentment from her and it isn't much longer before it's over.

How about you? Similar situations or different?

 

[Jonnybangbang]

This is the biggest challenge, in my opinion, for don juans. If you have to maintain an "act" for a considerable length of time, the "act" itself will eventually collapse, i find. We can't always be actors can we?

I don't see anything wrong with "being there" when the woman is in need BUT one certainly can't make himself too easily available at another's demand. When this pattern begins to occur at some point of the relationship it becomes difficult to grasp that frame once again. We get too comfortable!

One solution to this may be to ask yourself, "why?" Why is she asking me to perform this task? Is it purely for her interest? We all know how much of a pain in the bum it is to enter the woman's psyche but this is much simpler than that. We can't get too analytical, but it's much better to be over-analytical than oblivious.

It's about being true to yourself and not giving in to others so easily which will carry on the frame. I think of maintaining frame as a constant reassurance of who you are as a human being. If we think of it as a battle, we've already lost.

 

[Gro0ver]

My approach is that with a girl that's lasting more than just a few weeks I don't worry too much about frame and game after she's been hooked over the period of a few weeks. The reason being, if I'm going to continue to be interested in spending my valuable time with her then I don't want to be acting all the time. I should be able to be myself and deal with things the way I do naturally most of the time.

What is the point in continuing to spend time with a girl when you can't relax and go with the flow? I don't think I personally have a lot of AFC-ness to worry about anyway but who knows.

Saying that, there's 2 important things I keep in mind:

1) Frame/game/DJ skills will always be there to use when it's needed (e.g. she starts acting up or does/says something that's not acceptable). Effectively you can use it to reassert control when balance has been lost and you want to maintain the upper hand. However I see it as not a healthy relationship/waste of time if you have to do this all the time just to keep her interest up.

2) Avoid AFC tendencies and never get too complacent. Don't let her get too complacent either.

Perhaps this works for me because I don't pedastool women and I've got lots of hobbies/interests so she's never the centre of my world. I think this is really the key.

Remember you can't force attraction and desire. If the relationships you're in aren't right, no amount of game is going to be able to keep it strong and satisfying.

If she's not over her ex or something, not your fault, if you can make her feel better then great, if not then do some stuff to improve yourself and wait for her to check in with you. I don't call this frame and game, I call it good self-management, which is ultimately what's gona make you happy, not some chick.

 

[living-proof]

Frame is a DAILY thing. If you are with a girl for three days or three years, how many of those days do you want to be happy. Frame is simple. 'Make me happy or you are gone!' You can do this gently or harshly, but it must be done. My girl says she feels like she is always on probation with me. Yet, she also knows that I love her. It is a balance of love and fear. It takes vigilance and effort, but everyone knows the results of NOT doing it.