Men who have survived BPD, I'm looking to you guys for advice. I have a restraining order that expires in January with my ex girlfriend and the time is coming to decide whether or not to renew it or not. It's been two years since the order has been active - we dated for two years prior and lived together. It was a rocky relationship and eventually turned abusive (even physically on her part, albeit infrequently). The breakup was horrible, she basically tried to lie to all of my friends, my family, even my mom to try and paint me as this awful person (abusive, stalking, harassing, etc) before I put a restraining order on her. I've heard very little from her since, even though she has a new beta simp boyfriend you'd think she'd be loyal but I still hear every six months or so that she's been asking about me/how I'm doing to mutual friends.
This girl is a 25 year old HB9 (BPD ones always are), some kind of insta model (whatever the fvck that means in 2019), and is used to always manipulating men to get what she wants. I was the first man to really refuse her to this kind of degree and not put up with her sh!t during the breakup and it drove her crazy (in a very bad way). I'm sure getting the restraining order was incredibly humiliating for her to have to explain to her parents (the police showed up to her work to deliver it) and I'm sure she's harboring some deep resentment towards me for it, I'm just wondering if enough time has passed that most people let this kind of grudge go?
How likely is it that she's moved on and won't bother me at all after this restraining order expires? It's been two years and she's in another relationship. I'm asking because it was an absolute nightmare to deal with in those few months - it was an awful, awful feeling to feel like it was my word against hers and I was having to defend my reputation among my own family/friends - and I don't want to go back to that at all. I never wish any man to have to go through that. At the same time, I'm worried that if I renew the restraining order she's going to get a heads up from the police and it might bring me back to the forefront of her mind again and that's the last thing I want.
I'm sure there are a few guys out there that have survived BPD relationships and I'm wondering what the right course of action is here.
