How is this for a "cold approach"?

seth03

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Me: "Excuse me, I'm Seth, what's your name?"
Her: "Emily."
Me: "Emily, do you have a boyfriend?"
Her: "No."
Me: "Would you like to go out sometime?"
Her: "I'd love to."

that would be an example of a success. Of course, if it wasnt a success, just change the last line to something a bit more harsh. anyway, do you think this is a good appraoch? I'd be so much more comfortable doing this than anything else to tell you the truth.
 

Mr. Cardio

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why do you care if she has a boyfriend? read and search this site for inner game and attraction, I am talking about being attractive and having girls check you out before you even say anything. then when you notice her checking you out, step to her and just have a light convo about anything, nothing serious though, but just about anything. Read the gunwitch method where he talks about sexual state, and lick your lips when talking. Read my friend, read. And no, that was not a good approach, why, because it was an approach, you are hitting on her! Hell, Stevie wonder could see it! When you know attraction, you no longer hit on girls, girls hit on you and you just choose which one to play with tonight. All your answers to women are on this site, just read a little.
 

Smooth Player 056

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This is NOT a worthwhile approach at all. Its not THAT simple. You must:

1. Open her- get her hooked

2. Attract Her- Demonstrate Value

3. Get her to Qualify- Qualification Routines

4. Comfort- comfort routines

This is all you need for now.


~Smooth Player 056
 

I'm Joe Dirt

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A little David D tip, dont ask if she has a boyfriend in that way!

Say instead "are you single?"

"Do you have a boyfriend?" just sounds too needy/approval seeking. It also gets asked of her many times. "Are you single?" is far more rare and thus less prone to autopilot responses.

Besides, this information seeking approach is poor to begin with.

And then you introduce yourself, which is comfort building. You are "the next guy".

So by telling your name and asking for hers you are not only classifying yourself as "the next guy", you are also giving two indicators of interest at the open - asking her name and asking if she has a bf, which is also bad because it eliminates the chance for her to give you IOIs.

Like when a girl asks your name, thats an indicator of interest. If you give it up as your opener you eliminate the possibility of her asking for it.

This approach is likely to generate a lot of flakes. Even those who say "sure" will probably not show up. Why? Because you have nothing to talk about, she has no idea who you are, and that would create an uncomfortable situation for her since she doesnt know if she can get along with you.

If you deliver those lines with a different type of body language, you may help eliminate the comfort-building next-guy/nice-guy problem, but then you'd be opening with seduction, which is also bad because if she doesnt like you based on your looks at that moment you get blown out. It gives you no opportunity to convey your personality or get her attraction mechanism going.


Smooth Player, you don't have to do the Mystery Method every time.

You can go with David DeAngelo's line, where he has a way of asking a girl if she's single and getting her # or e-mail without coming off as AFC (go through his Double Your Dating DVD to learn how to do that!).

You can also do his 5 minute number/e-mail technique, where he says "hey, [opener]" and followed by "I gotta get back to my friends, nice talking to you", then you turn away, turn back and say "hey, do you have e-mail?"

Or even his few second technique where you just roll up and say "hey I'd love to meet you, but I gotta go, do you have e-mail?". That's even shorter than your current interview-style interaction as it requires only 1 line. Since its so short and there is so little that can go in any unpredictable direction you can rehearse it good.

But once you get the number or e-mail that way, you have to interact a little bit through that (a few e-mails back and forth or maybe a few brief phone calls) so that you can build enough comfort for her to want to meet you.

In the case of using the mystery method, or any sort of prolonged scenario where you have a chance to speak for maybe 10-15 minutes and build enough comfort during the approach for a meet, use a time bridge like "hey, I am going to go check out the new book at the bookstore, you should come with"

Otherwise, if not enough comfort was built, like if you had under 2 minutes to meet her I would go with David DeAngelo's idea of interacting briefly through e-mail and/or phone before you ask out.
 

fender85

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Originally posted by Smooth Player 056
This is NOT a worthwhile approach at all. Its not THAT simple. You must:

1. Open her- get her hooked

2. Attract Her- Demonstrate Value

3. Get her to Qualify- Qualification Routines

4. Comfort- comfort routines

This is all you need for now.


~Smooth Player 056
Been spending a little too much time in the Lounge, eh? ;) But unfortunately, Smooth is right . . . That approach is pretty awful. Ok it's worse, but I'm trying to be nice. You could pick apart the opener with MM by thinking that coming right out with your name, you're robbing yourself of a possible IOI (by her asking what your name is during the interaction, once you've reached the hook point). Second, who cares about the boyfriend? "Boyfriend" should only be brought up if she does, and then it should be dealt with accordingly. Third, if you get a number you can count on it being a fake one. What HB is going to give her number out to a guy she's known for 5 seconds? Rapport, dammit, rapport . . . THEN you can go for the number.
 

Create self-fulfilling prophecies. Always assume the positive. Assume she likes you. Assume she wants to talk to you. Assume she wants to go out with you. When you think positive, positive things happen.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

I'm Joe Dirt

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I think asking for an e-mail is more appropriate. I have interviewed a few HBs just for the learning experience and they all (by all I mean like 3 of them) said they would be far more likely to accept a request for an e-mail address (and give a real one) than a phone number.

Mystery's Method is good, but its not the ONLY way. Yes, it is a consistent way, but consistency doesnt mean exclusivity. There are always multiple ways of approaching any situation, including a pick up.

BTW, what workshop did you guys attend to get access to the lounge? What did that cost you?
 

I_Only_Live_Once

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I don't think it's as bad as what everyone in this thread is saying. I would lose the opening line of "excuse me, I'm Seth, what's your name?" because that comes off as being too proper and weak.

I like being direct. A lot of times I don't have the time to think of something to say or there's nothing in the situation that is worth talking about. It's not like I'm gonna be like "hey you like the weather today?" The most important thing is your attitude. You have to believe in yourself.
 

I'm Joe Dirt

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Open her with Situational Relevance
Situational openers are generally pretty poor. I hope you mean setting based, not something like "I like your shoes" or "nice necklace" or some other AFC garbage lol
 

locarius

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What you say is not nearly as important as your bodylanguage and tonality.
 

DJ_in_making

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The conversation is too quick. have a brief + nice conversation w/ her first, and # close. It's the same thing as your last line, but imo it sounds a bit less awkward. But seriously, I don't know "Emily" it may be affective on her. The best way to find out is to try. GL man.
 

What happens, IN HER MIND, is that she comes to see you as WORTHLESS simply because she hasn't had to INVEST anything in you in order to get you or to keep you.

You were an interesting diversion while she had nothing else to do. But now that someone a little more valuable has come along, someone who expects her to treat him very well, she'll have no problem at all dropping you or demoting you to lowly "friendship" status.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

DJ_in_making

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Originally posted by I'm Joe Dirt
Situational openers are generally pretty poor. I hope you mean setting based, not something like "I like your shoes" or "nice necklace" or some other AFC garbage lol
yea? and believe it or not this "AFC garbage" is written a lot in the Don Juan Bible. You can't blame any guys for following it, I've found a few articles that are contradictory to eachother. It's 'cuz the guys that write it all have their individual macking styles.
 
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