How is important is AGE in the dating world?

[huskybear]

I am 40 yr old guy(I look young--say around 28 and I act ten years younger)..but thats not what concerns me. Lately I have been feeling insecure about my age.

I have been with about 100 women in my life sexually. I have had a great time with the ladies in my teens, 20's and 30's. I never had game...but got laid by using my looks and charm to get women. I have always been sexually active as far back as I remember. I am still attractive and somewhat sexually active. But something is missing--IM GETTING OLD. I dont get laid much these days. Maybe two-three months I will find an average girl to have sex with----but thats even pushing it.
Nowadays, women dont want me as much. I am starting to the hear the comments "your too old for me" or "eww, your like 40?" Or "Oh my god!! You are 40??? You look like your 28 years old!" I hear these comments especially from women in their late 20's or early 30's. Its depressing when you are rejected because of your age AND NOT your looks. It s*cks because my sex drive is as high now as it was in my early 20's but back then I had a different girl every weekend to take care of my needs. Now I don't have jacksh*t.

Im middle-aged man trapped in a 28 yr old body. I dislike growing old but I try to look at it positively. Guys like Sean Connery are in their 70's and still pulling ladies. They get sexier as they get older. I wanna be like that.

So do you guys have any suggestions on how to amp up my sex appeal and image?

Again, im not "old looking"....but my age is an obstacle in dating. Physically im in great shape. When i was trying out for the cop test physical I beat everyone in pushups, situps, 300 meter dash, 1 and 1/2 mile run. I was #1 in all events. I even beat out the 19 yr old males. Thats was last year.(no im not a cop) i didnt pass the polygraph. I have so much energy.
I want younger girls and older women in my bed every frikken night like I was in my 20's. But these days at 40--you better be rich or have game or you arent getting j*ack. Now that sounds AFC! I just want to be a master Don Juan, improve my game, look younger, and actually get ladies---not so much thinking about being a don juan and having no ladies.

When I was 20 I swear i didnt need this don juan site. My looks attracted them enough. Now its a different ballgame at 40.

 

[iqqi]

The #1 tip I would give you is to act your age.

What I mean by that, is as a younger woman, observing older men, the biggest turnoff is always the older man who is in denial about his age. Acting like he is just out of college, it just comes across as phony, contrived, and creepy.

Do NOT act like a 21 year old when you are 40. That is as unattractive as a 40 year old woman dressing like a teenager... even if she could pass for a college chick.

With age comes wisdom, so act wise, act mature, and when they say "you're 40!?" Reply with a wink and a "who's your daddy?"

 

[Omen]

100 women? I think that's a little excessive, and probably made up. If it isn't, I wouldn't be telling women that. I find it hard to believe anyone has been with 100 women. If you were, you were probably on Jerry Springer.

I agree with iqqi. Just act your age, and show them what you have to offer. You can still be fun and what not, but use your age as an advantage. LIFE EXPERIENCE.

Think about older guys 25-30 who pick up 18-20yr olds. I have a career, I have a house... blah blah blah.

 

[Latinoman]

Dude...Husky you could be a word of reason to some of the youngsters in the General Forum. They don't understand what's up.

Hey...40 is not a bad age. Men prime (when everything is combined) should be 35-42.

 

[jophil28]

I have a date tonight with my 19 year old hottie.
I call her "kiddo" and "brat " and tell her what to do and how to do it, AND she loves it .
THis is from her email to me Monday " ,,, blah..blah.. I love dancing with you - you are totally cool. I am not even 20 yet but if I was older we would totally run amok ...you should see my Mom she is HOT I have good genes OK ? . I hope that I live up to your expectations . Is Helen your G/friend ? she is HOT too. ..Can't wait for Wednesday to practise Cha Cha some more ..."

My reply to her, " ...so your Mom is hot TOO? How about you bring your Mom to dance class ? ..."


To the OP ,where do you think this is going with the hottie.? I need to do nothing more now except to let nature take over .

My point is this - be cool and mature,. YOu cannot BE a 25 year old BUT you can be a powerful 40 year old when you figure out how to BE a mature 40 year old..I am not suggesting that you fake anything or portray yourself in anyway that is not mature. YOu wonder why Sean Connery is sexy -No one really knows for sure ,BUT a lot of it has to do with his coolness combined with the POWER that wisdom and age exudes . I exploit that element and it works. That means acting with leadership and control combined with humor.

Magic !.

 

[iqqi]

YOu wonder why Sean Connery is sexy -No one really knows for sure ,BUT a lot of it has to do with his coolness combined with the POWER that wisdom and age exudes...

This is true.

Look at men like Connery, Nicholson, and Clooney.

They don't act like kids. They own that they are men.

GROWN and mature MEN, who are charming, witty, and experienced. That, my aging hunk, is sexy.

 

[guru1000]

You are 40, and look 28. So what is the problem?

I look a little older than 28 and I pull from 21 and up.

I do not see any difference in attracting woman as compared to 7-8 years ago.

I doubt highly if you are 40 and look 28, your looks would bring dramatically different results than your mid-late twenties.

I ran into a little rut a while back after a bad break up. My mind wasn't screwed on right. For a period of 2 months, I was supplicating, needy and desperate. I noticed a different result and blamed it on age too.

At what point have you noticed a significant difference?

I can bet you 10:1, your defeatist attitude is the culprit.

 

[huskybear]

thats pretty good thinking....

I have to admit you guys have your heads screwed on right. Its true sean connery does exude coolness and maturity which comes from wisdom and age.

And I do have to act 40 like IqqI says. Acting like im 28 which I have been doing is creepy and I need to grow up. I need to act like an adult. When I see a 50 yr old man acting like he is 25---you are right----he looks like a creep. A lot of women find that a turn off and those men are in denial. Some women dig older men too. Its a fact. Not all women, but some do.

And you are right..the culprit is my attitude not my age. I need to start thinking about being more confident, cool, and mature. Hell at my age thats the the very best thing I can do.

Thanks guys for your excellent posts.

 

[jophil28]

Thanks guys for your excellent posts.

You are welcome - please pay at the front desk on your way out..

 

[STR8UP]

I have to admit you guys have your heads screwed on right. Its true sean connery does exude coolness and maturity which comes from wisdom and age.

I took the liberty to bold the key word here.

And I do have to act 40 like IqqI says. Acting like im 28 which I have been doing is creepy and I need to grow up. I need to act like an adult. When I see a 50 yr old man acting like he is 25---you are right----he looks like a creep. A lot of women find that a turn off and those men are in denial. Some women dig older men too. Its a fact. Not all women, but some do.

This is what would Oprah or Dr. Phil would tell you to do.

Why did I bold the word in the quote above? Cause is was iqqi, a FEMALE (or at least someone who claims to be a female) who told you to "act your age".

What a crock of sh!t.

I'm 36, and if I were to "act my age" (read- conform to society's idea of how a guy my age should act) I would be married with a couple of kids, working a middle management job and if I'm lucky the wife might LET me slip out of the house for 3 hours a week to play 18 holes before I have to come home to complete the honey-do list.

If that's YOUR idea of what a guy your age should act like....by all means....

I'm not saying you should walk around with your pants hanging half way down off your ass and spending $5,000 on a stereo for your 92 Honda, but the whole "act your age" crusade is nothing more than a by-product of our femi-centric society that wants to level the playing field for women.

Truth is, your age WILL matter to some people, but it's more of a refection of your OWN attitude that kills you.

Out of the past 6 or 8 women I have dated/ sexed/ fooled around with, they ranged in age from 20-37, with the AVERAGE age probably closer to 24.

You talk about Connery and guys like that? Do they "act their age"? No, they can snap their fingers and pull ass anywhere they go. They KNOW they don't have to play by society's silly "rules" so they don't.

I'm not saying you need to be filling your closet with Abercrombie and Hollister, but to let someone else dictate to you what is "acceptable" is pitiful. Be your own judge. Carry yourself well. Age is much less a physical number than it is an attitude.

Now get out there and stop letting this "Oh dear god I'm 40" mental block get in your way.

 

[reset]

Where did all this numbers crap come from. I wasn't even born but I remember hearing stuff from the 60s "don't trust anyone over 30" now it's 40 that is the end.

What committee decided we have to look at ourselves in negative terms every time we hit a new "Zero"? I'm just starting to get some self confidence and I intend to enjoy it for more than 9 years.

We need to question these views we have on what is cool what is old what is whatever. We are spouting off someone else's viewpoint. It came from somewhere.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Husky Bear,
Middle age crisis.....I am 64 still banging away though not hanging from the chandeliers....Learn to dance ballroom,latin and rock,after a year at most of lessons the girls will fall over you.BUT,But But don't learn where you intend to pull your Birds....Having learned go to another studio and pick up the Ladies just starting...Eeezy Peezy,Japanesee.......

 

[reset]

the whole "act your age" crusade is nothing more than a by-product of our femi-centric society that wants to level the playing field for women.

Is that what that shyt was? Damn I love figuring out where these retarded views come from that I never questioned.

 

[KontrollerX]

Don't listen to iqqi as first and foremost she is full of sh!t and pimping the feminist agenda wherever she goes on this forum.

Listen to Str8up and the other DJ's instead.

Str8up's last post in here really was something special and advice that every guy should follow.

 

[Juando]

Where did all this numbers crap come from. I wasn't even born but I remember hearing stuff from the 60s "don't trust anyone over 30" now it's 40 that is the end.

What committee decided we have to look at ourselves in negative terms every time we hit a new "Zero"? I'm just starting to get some self confidence and I intend to enjoy it for more than 9 years.

We need to question these views we have on what is cool what is old what is whatever. We are spouting off someone else's viewpoint. It came from somewhere.

Numbers crap indeed... recently a girl (27) who was just starting to spend much time with me and definitely liked me, once she found out my age, things were never the same. We actually got much closer but that "NUMBER" was like an albatross around my neck, not so much for me but for her.

I'm not saying her reaction would be the universal one but it really did put a crimp in our connection. Never mind that SHE could not keep up with me in just about any activity.

I ended up NEXTING her recently.
Lesson learned:
Act the way you feel, go after what and who you want, and be discreet about revealing your age too soon.

 

[STR8UP]

Is that what that shyt was? Damn I love figuring out where these retarded views come from that I never questioned.

99% of the crap that infects your brain and stunts your growth as a man can be traced back to the feminist agenda.

People very much underestimate the negative impact this has had on men. At least I can take comfort in knowing that I have managed to get myself out of the AFC mindset, and from what I can see the days of the feminism movement are numbered.

 

[lookyoung]

Well it depends what your going for. At 40 your game with 21 year olds probably will not be as strong as it was at 27. But if your looking to date in the 28-33 year old age range I really don't see a problem. I am 31 and have no problem dating girls up to 11 years younger than me. But I know when I am 38 my game with the 21 year old crowd will probably be a little bit weaker. Anyman in here as long as he takes care of himself should be able to date girls up to 12 years younger than himself with consistency.

OF course age is a factor as are plenty off other things. Age,personality,money,confidence,bodytype and plenty of other things play a role in being able to bed women.

Bottom line is age is a factor,but how much of a factor is up to you

 

[STR8UP]

Bottom line is age is a factor but how much of a factor is up to you

Well said, young chap. Well said.

 

[reset]

99% of the crap that infects your brain and stunts your growth as a man can be traced back to the feminist agenda.

Love it.

 

[iqqi]

I knew that our resident "playboy" would jump all over this, and I can't say I am surprised that I am his target here once again. Oh, the life of an infamous iqqi.

First and foremost, I would like to point out that STR8UP is the best example here on this forum of a man who is fighting tooth and nail against his journey into middle age, and I even thought of him as I wrote my post. You will see this in his many posts where he mentions the young people he hangs around (usually consisting of various AW types, none of "quality"), and never getting actual booty... unless you count the married cougar he banged recently. He also consistently mentions how young he looks for his age, and all the young chicks he pulls (but does not bang).

Secondly, I would like to point out that I am not a feminist, however since I am a female and have a different viewpoint than some of the more "bitter" and "misogynistic" posters here, I am conviently labeled as such when there is a disagreement... but only by those few posters. It just illustrates their lack of knowledge on the subject I guess, as I am pretty sure I do not fit the defintion of a feminist.

I'd also like to point out that:

I'm 36, and if I were to "act my age" (read- conform to society's idea of how a guy my age should act) I would be married with a couple of kids, working a middle management job and if I'm lucky the wife might LET me slip out of the house for 3 hours a week to play 18 holes before I have to come home to complete the honey-do list.

If that's YOUR idea of what a guy your age should act like....by all means....

I did not say that was my idea of what a guy your age should act like, but it clearly illustrates STR8UP's own fears and hang ups about what middle age means.

I am pretty sure I said something more along the lines of act mature and wise, and not like a college kid. I was not surprised STR8UP would take offense to that, as in many of his threads (that usually end up with him getting played by some young thing who is then labeled as an AW) he is portraying himself as some 20-something partying playboy.