How in the hell do you end up with a BPD check unless..

[TarantulaHawk]

How in the hell do you dudes wind up with a BPD chick unless you have unresolved issues of your own?

Can you not learn to recognize red flags as soon as they show up? Are you that desperate to get laid? Do you need a chick to validate you so badly that you'll stay and ignore off and destructive behavior? Are you trying to "prove" something to yourself in "winning" an insane challenge? Do you not have the internal confidence to just leave and go completely ghost? Do you enjoy the constant drama? Do you always meet these types in low class settings? Do you just ignore common sense because your d1ck told you to? Do you recognize you are just as much of your own problems as the BPD chick is?

If some chick kissed my ass and was all over me acting like I was the best thing to ever happen to her I'd immediately wonder how many dudes she tried the ego stroke with and back off. If it then changed to a "victim" ploy to get me to feel sorry for her regardless of great sex I'd be out. Period.

You have to be honest with yourselves and completely have your ego and need for validation/ "proving" something to yourself that isn't worth it etc. in check. Otherwise some nutty chick will use that all against you. Vag included.

Otherwise you are the fountain head of your own problems.

 

[BrainDamage92]

Well because nobody tells you these things like red flags and ****, and girls are angelic creatures, a beacon of light in your grey world, or at least this is what societ teaches us. Well I got burnt (not so bad since I walked out on mine before she could afford the luxury to create some drama over the deteriorating relationship, BPD? I own this *****, and she will remember me for life). Her poor ex had completely lost it by the time I met her, but I bought into her crap that he was beating her and didnt see it as red flag. Well of course hes gonna beat you, youre a freaking whhore! Thank God I kept enough sanity to bail out before **** hits the fan. The final nail in the coffin of doubt I had (couse you cant help but doubt when you walk out on someone like that) was when I chatted with her recently, and told her straightforward why I left her. Couse she was looking around for another fool of course, why else?

Her answer: "Yes, I was LOOKING FOR OPTIONS, couse while you were sitting around doing nothing, something was happening in my life." I wont even begin to comment on this one, but it just goes to show the level of rationalisations and justifications going around in the mind of the BPD idiot. Maybe you forgot the fact that you being a beautiful ho means you get jobs like it aint no thing, while I have to actually prove myself? But no she got this job at a "classy" restarant and of course though shes the real deal. Shes the kinda idiot who cant operate with other females, couse they see her for who she is, so at this job she had almost only male colleagues, so I bet all those ****s slapping her across the face must feel good. They treat her nice because shes beautifull but useless, she accepts this treatememnt as a praise to her personality, and its all good in the hood. Let her be in her twisted little world.



If you do good its not good enough, and if I do bad its all your fault. BPD is the kinda girl who will marry you when you got dough and security, and then drop you on your head the moment you hit a rough patch. More than other girls, its unhuman. Looking for options eh? They cant feel love like you do, even like normal women do, its all a little bitty calculator in their head, behand all the supposed fragile emotions and childlike naivity and "Look at me clear as spring water, I never do nobody no harm, why does the world hate me?" theres a freakin calculator so if anyone defends BPD kind of personalities he better think twice. Sheesh...

But it broke me psychologically so bad for half an years I was floating in vacuum. Then I quit the booze for a time, started reading about personality disorders, where do they come from, what is the matter with you if you got attracted to a CLuster B hellhound etc.

Basicaly my advice is, if the girls family seems more fuked up than your own - forget about it - couse this is where these disorders sprung from - ****ed up childhood, parental betrayal, and all forms of abuse, giving the kid attention only when its hurt and crying, buying presents instead of talking with it etc...



And finally I found this place. SO Im cool now that I know this stuff I know. Abit more sad and dissapointed then back when I was naive, but at least I got my **** together.

Basically theres two options in this life:

1. Be a fool.
2. Be smart and abit sad.

I choose the latter.

 

[:-)]

Bpd's comprise about 1% of the population here in the UK. The chances are most guys have not encountered a true bpd but just a normal fvcked up individual. Dostoevsky said something about this which escapes me. Basically we are a dysfunctional society masquerading as normal. That's why OP.

 

[The Duke]

Bpd's comprise about 1% of the population here in the UK. The chances are most guys have not encountered a true bpd but just a normal fvcked up individual. Dostoevsky said something about this which escapes me. Basically we are a dysfunctional society masquerading as normal. That's why OP.

Thats just 1% of the population that has been DIAGNOSED! I would say that there are more that are not diagnosed than those who are. Just look at all the girls who take psych meds(Klonopin, Xanax, Zoloft, Prozac, Paxil). If you need meds to function.....you got some problems. 60pct of the girls I've been with have taken them. They don't like to admit to it either, thats why I always snoop and usually find them. But most of these people aren't diagnosed with anything. They sweet talk and manipulate their white knight doctors and he passes them out.

 

[:-)]

Thats just 1% of the population that has been DIAGNOSED! I would say that there are more that are not diagnosed than those who are. Just look at all the girls who take psych meds(Klonopin, Xanax, Zoloft, Prozac, Paxil). If you need meds to function.....you got some problems. 60pct of the girls I've been with have taken them. They don't like to admit to it either, thats why I always snoop and usually find them. But most of these people aren't diagnosed with anything. They sweet talk and manipulate their white knight doctors and he passes them out.

Yes that's what I was trying to say. We are a nation of fvck ups.

 

[The Duke]

there's definitely some truth to that. As you said, a lot of dysfunction when you peel the covers back.

 

[BrainDamage92]

Yes this is a very good point about the people hooked on pills from the pharmacy. Alot and I mean ALOT of girls take pills to function without going bat**** crazy, and its not like they have some srious illness like schitzophrenia, they just cant resolve their issues.


Better smoke weed and drink a few beers than this.

But in the end, taking any kind of mind altering substances doesnt resolve anything, a clear sign of this is when your personality changes tramendously when you are under the influence. I never had persoality changes under the influence, never, until half an year ago when I was in a pretty bad state.

Im one of the most non-aggresive humans I know, I usually seek cooperation and not confrontation, but when I had some heavy **** I had to process and was drunk 24\7 I was becoming increasingly aggresive, I jumped a friend of mine who confronted me about the miserable state I was in (true friend) so then I stopped all drinking for 2 months and got my **** together.


No matter what drugs you do, do them because you feel good and want to smoke a joint for example, dont do them because youre depressed or whatever and want to ease the pain. This is how alcoholics are born.

 

[rkd]

OFFICIAL STATEMENT from Christopher Hungryu Zement Smifson Jugatti III on abortion


Hi people of the world. my official statement on abortion. abortion should be legal in the first trimester. Roe versus Wade got that one perfectly right. perfection. abortion should be legal in the second trimester except for sex selection abortions. sex selection abortions should be illegal. abortion should be illegal in the third trimester except for the health or life of the mother. this includes the partial birth abortion. no convenience abortions in the third trimester. there must be an official medical doctors order on official stationery before a partial birth abortion my be performed.




laws on protesters. due to the tension surrounding the abortion issue, all protesters must remain at least ten feet from any part of any building which allows abortions and there must be a barrier free path to the door. violators should be sent to jail for a minimum of twelve hours and a maximum of thirty days.


WENDY Z IS GAY
MICHAEL R IS A HOMOSEXUAL


In the clinic. the doctors should get right to the operation. They should ask her one time are you sure. if she says yes she is sure, the operation must commence. i'm gay. the remains should be used for medical research. the doctors should have barrier free entrance and be free of harassment. sting operations should not be permitted.


sincerely,


Christopher Hungryu Zement Smifson Jugatti III
the world's leading abortion advocate

 

[dk1990S111]

obviously you have only a slight understanding of a BPD. Like BrainDamage said, they calculate everything. They are very good at reading people and getting their target to play right into whatever it is that the BPD wants out of them. I read up on it a lot after what my ex-BPD put me through. Most psychologists or therapists cant even help a BPD become normal. The BPD will pretty much just put on an act and make the doc think they are making a difference.

So as others have said, without knowing all the red flags before you meet a BPD, you are bound to get burned by one. It really is funny to me how things like "my ex beat me" comes up so often as a signal of a BPD. My ex used that line among others to get my sympathy.

 

[TarantulaHawk]

The thing about bpds is that they have this subtle ability to "keep you in the fog", which is what it is referred to as in some of the books to help you recover from dealing with one.

They start off so perfect for at least 3 months....and then very slowly and subtly undermine your own ability to identify who truly is at fault for the problems. It is very much like slowly boiling a frog.

You start to think it is you who is the problem as she slowly convinces you of this. Eventually I believe most men get "shocked" out of it by her crossing a line that she cannot convince you was your fault.

They are nasty creatures best left to sociopaths or those with no regard for others. The rest she will simply devour over time.

Guess I recognize or pick up on things quick. Even if they seem "perfect". Growing up being friends with countless complete nut cases in my area in school, out etc and everyone knowing each other from different boroughs etc. you just pick up on "off" behavior quick.

I was never the one too let my ego stand in my way even if it was getting stroked like hell. I would immediately start thinking something is wrong with that behavior. Almost like these high profile athletes, stars etc who get their azzes kissed and soon as something happens those same people disappear. Or the ones who convince everyone they're the others best friend even in actions as well as words then something happens and they are worst enemies.

I'm the type to not let anything effect me and not dwell on things or get paranoid but if I start seeing red flags or behavior that's off from the norm (constant praise then subtle jabs) I'm already aware the person is toxic and have zero problems dropping them altogether.

 

[GS750]

She came into my life at a time when I had been single for quite a while. I guess I was in need of some female companionship since it had been a while. At first she seemed very nice, sweet, and we really did get along great. She was petite and innocent looking. But over time that mask started to dissolve and I could see that she really did have some deep rooted issues. Family issues, body image issues, depression, low self worth, afraid to be single, weird phobias, extreme back or white thinking, impulsiveness, clingy behavior, grudges, etc. When it ended of course it was ALL MY FVCKING FAULT. The way this girl rationalized her behavior was truly amazing. She lined up the new guy while we were on a "break" and once she knew she had him, she decided to clue me in. She kept me on the line long enough to secure her new relationship. That was my fault too, of course, because I was being distant. I didn't show her that I cared for her. I did this and that. Etc, etc, etc. That's the big thing with these whackos. Nothing is ever her fault and she will find a way to rationalize everything. It will make your fvcking head spin.

 

[hockeyfreak79]

Thats just 1% of the population that has been DIAGNOSED! I would say that there are more that are not diagnosed than those who are. Just look at all the girls who take psych meds(Klonopin, Xanax, Zoloft, Prozac, Paxil). If you need meds to function.....you got some problems. 60pct of the girls I've been with have taken them. They don't like to admit to it either, thats why I always snoop and usually find them. But most of these people aren't diagnosed with anything. They sweet talk and manipulate their white knight doctors and he passes them out.

G*d damn ain't that the truth! Mix in some weed & booze with those pills and they are pretty much BPD. Everyone on them hides this sh*t until they have you sucked in. RUN fellas run!

 

[SamTheHobit]

The thing about bpds is that they have this subtle ability to "keep you in the fog", which is what it is referred to as in some of the books to help you recover from dealing with one.

They start off so perfect for at least 3 months....and then very slowly and subtly undermine your own ability to identify who truly is at fault for the problems. It is very much like slowly boiling a frog.

You start to think it is you who is the problem as she slowly convinces you of this. Eventually I believe most men get "shocked" out of it by her crossing a line that she cannot convince you was your fault.

They are nasty creatures best left to sociopaths or those with no regard for others. The rest she will simply devour over time.

Before I dealt with one of these women I thought all the talk about bpd women was nonsense.

Until I actually dealt with one myself. I won't go into detail but you summed it up perfectly.

At the end of the day I knew how manipulative she was, but they can be a lot of fun and difficult to give up.

Definitely a lesson learned.

 

[Billtx49]

Completely right Danger. Everything is completely right with them until it is'nt.
The beginning is almost blissful until it turns to absolute ****e.