How Important Is Communication In A LTR?

[soulforge]

You don't trust her just end it

Do you think she is giving me reason to trust her lol.. I mean she says goodnight, then immediately comes back online

 

[soulforge]

@soulforge your girl is a liar, has very little if any respect for you and I would seriously consider ending your relationship.

I'm sorry man.

I think maybe having chat with her about respecting boundaries was a bad move?

 

[member160292]

I’m a little late here,

How was her interest level from the beginning of the relationship? Was she a puppy dog to you ie: rearranging her plans to hang out, following every single request you had, going out of her way to do nice things to you, servicing everything you wanted to do in bed?

Yes, you can establish boundaries and should early on, BUT if she has not entered your frame it will not stick. There should be clear communication from the early beginning, none of the BS that’s going on right now. That’s how you end up in a toxic relationship with all the passive aggressiveness.

Test how strong your frame in this relationship is by sitting her down and let her know that it was unacceptable for her to go out and not letting you know when she got back. None of this hamster spinning sh!t. She is losing respect for you the longer you keep this indecisiveness going.

Really, what do you gain from playing all these games?

 

[soulforge]

How was her interest level from the beginning of the relationship? Was she a puppy dog to you ie: rearranging her plans to hang out, following every single request you had, going out of her way to do nice things to you, servicing everything you wanted to do in bed?

Yes, you can establish boundaries and should early on, BUT if she has not entered your frame it will not stick. There should be clear communication from the early beginning, none of the BS that’s going on right now. That’s how you end up in a toxic relationship with all the passive aggressiveness.

Test how strong your frame in this relationship is by sitting her down and let her know that it was unacceptable for her to go out and not letting you know when she got back. None of this hamster spinning sh!t. She is losing respect for you the longer you keep this indecisiveness going.

Really, what do you gain from playing all these games?

My friend I actually do not play games when it comes to boundaries, neither am I afraid to point them out clearly.

Let me explain. Me and her initially started as casual, however around two months ago she began pushing for an LTR.

When she pushed for an LTR, I immediately let her know what my conditions are.

01. No male friends
02. No clubs/bars
03. No Girls holidays abroad

She absolutely KNOWS I will not budge on those, boundaries are set in stone.
She one time tried to talk me into letting her go to a bar, and I shut it down immediately.

As for this current situation, she normally does text me and let me know she got home ok. However I am convinced that the Freind she went to the cinema with has some influence over her and for whatever reason, she did not text me, or text me the following morning.

However tonight she sent me a text and asked about my day. After ignoring her for maybe 6 hours, she decided to call me.

I let her know in a calm rationale manner that she needs to let me know that she got home and got home safe. This isn't something that is negotiable.

She seemed receptive about it. She did apologize and say that she will let me know in future.

So I chose not to play games, and have the conversation.

The problem now is, she told me goodnight, she is going to sleep.. only to go back on Facebook messenger to continue to chat with whoever she has on there.

Kinda felt like she got rid of me by saying goodnight, then came back online.

I really feel like I should simply dump her, as she is becoming a fukin headache lol

I mean it's not the end of the world. Only been seeing her 5 months

 

[member160292]

Yes, I remember your post in the thread I made

Plate Pushing for Commitment - Can you have your cake and eat it too?

When will you peeps realize that food and @ss simply don't mix? They do in the cafe I go to.

www.sosuave.net

All chicks are plates before an LTR, it’s not like you get into a relationship before vetting them. That’s why I asked you the questions how obedient she was when she was your plate.

From your OP that she didn’t contact you when you got home to now where she is still on Facebook Messenger after she said goodnight…That it got under your skin so much screams that you do not have as strong a frame as you think.

Ghosting is what women do, I believe that men should be challengers. If you are in a position of power in the relationship, call her out on it. ‘I hopped on Messenger an hour and half after you said good night and saw you were still on, interesting’ Challenge that and get her uncomfortable. That will test how much she respects you and the relationship

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

Ghosting is what women do,

PREACH!!

 

[soulforge]

Yes, I remember your post in the thread I made

Plate Pushing for Commitment - Can you have your cake and eat it too?

When will you peeps realize that food and @ss simply don't mix? They do in the cafe I go to.

www.sosuave.net

All chicks are plates before an LTR, it’s not like you get into a relationship before vetting them. That’s why I asked you the questions how obedient she was when she was your plate.

From your OP that she didn’t contact you when you got home to now where she is still on Facebook Messenger after she said goodnight…That it got under your skin so much screams that you do not have as strong a frame as you think.

Ghosting is what women do, I believe that men should be challengers. If you are in a position of power in the relationship, call her out on it. ‘I hopped on Messenger an hour and half after you said good night and saw you were still on, interesting’ Challenge that and get her uncomfortable. That will test how much she respects you and the relationship

She has always been pretty subservient from plate till even now.

This occasion is the first time she went out and didn't text me at all.. However she hasn't been out that Much for a while.

Around 4-5 weeks ago, she went out for a meal with friends and messaged me to let me know she is home.

Like I said before, her single mom freind might have some influence in this situation.

And yes I think you are right, these fukin games are exhausting lol.

Sometimes i just want to call a girl out and expose her crappy behaviour.

 

[soulforge]

Yes, I remember your post in the thread I made

Plate Pushing for Commitment - Can you have your cake and eat it too?

When will you peeps realize that food and @ss simply don't mix? They do in the cafe I go to.

www.sosuave.net

All chicks are plates before an LTR, it’s not like you get into a relationship before vetting them. That’s why I asked you the questions how obedient she was when she was your plate.

From your OP that she didn’t contact you when you got home to now where she is still on Facebook Messenger after she said goodnight…That it got under your skin so much screams that you do not have as strong a frame as you think.

Ghosting is what women do, I believe that men should be challengers. If you are in a position of power in the relationship, call her out on it. ‘I hopped on Messenger an hour and half after you said good night and saw you were still on, interesting’ Challenge that and get her uncomfortable. That will test how much she respects you and the relationship

Yeh i think tomorrow I will mention, that she was still on messenger after saying goodnight. The thing with ghosting or passive aggressiveness is, these woman are simply so oblivious to their crappy behaviour, that we men sometimes need to shame them and point it out to them

 

[member160292]

Sometimes i just want to call a girl out and expose her crappy behaviour.

More men need to do it, be the change

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

More men need to do it, be the change

Exactly, it’s like zombification at this point. Men imitate the toxic women that fvcked them over and they end up becoming a male version of her.

 

[soulforge]

More men need to do it, be the change

I actually prefer the calling out method.. most women are oblivious about what they even did wrong.

 

[ThisIsSparta]

Yeh i think tomorrow I will mention, that she was still on messenger after saying goodnight.

I´m sorry........

but this whole thread reeks of clinginess, neediness, desperation, and insecurity. Just read your comments from start, you are all over the place, more or less because she didnt tell you good night the other day.

Maybe she just was fed up by your feminine behavior and wanted to chill before sleeping. Its what i did after talking to exhausting women, chill.

Man, really? You gonna call her out for not switching out the lights immediately after she went off the phone? How old are you?

You gonna scare the **** out of that woman, if you havent allready.

 

[soulforge]

I´m sorry........

but this whole thread reeks of clinginess, neediness, desperation, and insecurity. Just read your comments from start, you are all over the place, more or less because she didnt tell you good night the other day.

Maybe she just was fed up by your feminine behavior and wanted to chill before sleeping. Its what i did after talking to exhausting women, chill.

Man, really? You gonna call her out for not switching out the lights immediately after she went off the phone? How old are you?

You gonna scare the **** out of that woman, if you havent allready.

I´m sorry........

but this whole thread reeks of clinginess, neediness, desperation, and insecurity. Just read your comments from start, you are all over the place, more or less because she didnt tell you good night the other day.

Maybe she just was fed up by your feminine behavior and wanted to chill before sleeping. Its what i did after talking to exhausting women, chill.

Man, really? You gonna call her out for not switching out the lights immediately after she went off the phone? How old are you?

You gonna scare the **** out of that woman, if you havent allready.

Haha I didn't call her on it, she doesn't sleep well so I think she said goodnight and went back online for a bit.

 

[soulforge]

I´m sorry........

but this whole thread reeks of clinginess, neediness, desperation, and insecurity. Just read your comments from start, you are all over the place, more or less because she didnt tell you good night the other day.

Maybe she just was fed up by your feminine behavior and wanted to chill before sleeping. Its what i did after talking to exhausting women, chill.

Man, really? You gonna call her out for not switching out the lights immediately after she went off the phone? How old are you?

You gonna scare the **** out of that woman, if you havent allready.

It's not that she didn't say goodnight. I NEVER say goodnight to her anyway. She initiates 99% of goodnights.

However unlike you I have certain boundaries in an LTR, one of those is simply letting me know that you got home ok.

If that is needy, then it is what it is Mr alpha.. you clearly don't know how to lay down any boundaries

 

[Murk]

The going missing on a night out is suspect. Being online after saying good night isn’t that big a deal imo. If it bothered you speak to her about it, you’re literally living inside your head. You will speak to her for 5 minutes then spend 5 days internalising and overthinking it all. Get it all out of the table.

 

[soulforge]

The going missing on a night out is suspect. Being online after saying good night isn’t that big a deal imo. If it bothered you speak to her about it, you’re literally living inside your head. You will speak to her for 5 minutes then spend 5 days internalising and overthinking it all. Get it all out of the table.

Yeh I didn't actually ask her about what happened that night, but she claimed she was home and in bed early just was tired etc. I'm not buying it, I think she was home, but she was chvt testing.

And the being online thing, she probably couldn't sleep so letting that slide

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

Yeh I didn't actually ask her about what happened that night, but she claimed she was home and in bed early just was tired etc. I'm not buying it, I think she was home, but she was chvt testing.

And the being online thing, she probably couldn't sleep so letting that slide

Maybe im missing something but I still don’t see why this is such a big deal? She could’ve just fell asleep on the couch or something. It seems like you are turning nothing in to a chaotic hurricane.

 

[soulforge]

Maybe im missing something but I still don’t see why this is such a big deal? She could’ve just fell asleep on the couch or something. It seems like you are turning nothing in to a chaotic hurricane.

Unlikely.. She was online wide awake when she got home from the cinema according to her, takes 2 seconds to fire off a quick text.

What are the chances she always manages to message on a night no matter how late it is.. on the night she goes out, some how she fails to text... Not only that, fails to text in the morning too.. it's not her usual pattern.

 

[Dr.Suave]

What are the chances she always manages to message on a night no matter how late it is.. on the night she goes out, some how she fails to text... Not only that, fails to text in the morning too.. it's not her usual pattern.

I agree something is off.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

Unlikely.. She was online wide awake when she got home from the cinema according to her, takes 2 seconds to fire off a quick text.

What are the chances she always manages to message on a night no matter how late it is.. on the night she goes out, some how she fails to text... Not only that, fails to text in the morning too.. it's not her usual pattern.

Why does she need to text you every night? Okay, let's say she did message you back after getting home, but literally hopped on some other dude's dvck in her bed or left her place to go to somewhere else. Meanwhile, you go to sleep happily ever after because she sent some pointless good night text to you. This is why I think this is silly because if she was going to cheat on you, she WILL regardless of these texting rules you have. These rules make you look like some paranoid failed dictator afraid of being assassinated by the populace, not some confident strong leader that is well-liked by his subjects. Even if she just fell asleep and forgot to text you back, you are turning her against you with these silly rules of yours.