thatfeel
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Sep 5, 2013
- Messages
- 714
- Reaction score
- 186
I understand that the word normal probably has some loose meaning to it here given the general consensus towards female behavior but really it was the best word I could think of to describe a woman who is at least NOT bat **** insane/BPD. For anyone who hasn't kept up with my other threads, I am 23 y/o and my gf's age is stated just below.
Anyway. My 49y/o GF stressed common interests at the beginning of the relationship as one thing that kept her from fully committing to it. Eventually she got over it after she recognized that her feelings mattered more than the logic and we were both happy and just moved forward with stuff. We haven't even been together that long but I feel like her whole perspective on the relationship has shifted dramatically just BECAUSE of this annoying little fact.
We had a talk last night where of course she victimized herself and made it seem like I had been playing her from the beginning, and made it seem like I was somehow not sincere about what I was into(movies and TV shows). She got mopy and said she just wished she had someone to share her interests with.
Okay, her "interests" are basically just history and food and things like that. What she is referring to is she wishes I sat with her all damn day after work/on the weekends watching TV shows like Anthony Bourdain's TV shows on AWE, random shows about vacations to Europe, shows about food, and other random "reality" shows about things like bathroom and bedroom makeovers, and shows like The Tudors. I can only stand all this for so long before I just need to get up and go to my computer and chill somewhere else or something. But the way she dramatizes it is bothering me.
We watched Interview with the Vampire together and of course when I brought that up she got all defensive saying "Well yeah finally you did after like a month". Like, wow.
The thing that is worrying me is she says that these interests to her are fulfilling but wishes things were different between us, and, wishes that I was interested in them because "if she's going to get any fulfillment from the relationship" then we should be able to share of course her primary interests. Otherwise, she says, I should just go to my room if I'm going to "fake"(her words)interest so that she can be left to actually enjoy them.
I tried to be sincere about a resolution and actually trying to make an effort to be interested in these things but whenever I start to have my side of the conversation she just doesn't take me seriously ever and it ****ing annoys the hell out of me. She always makes annoying comments about how like "Well we can't talk about video games". Well no sh!t sherlock I don't expect us to be able to, that's my thing as these things are yours. I dunno. ****.
Like what are your guys' thoughts on this? I feel like a relationship between two healthy individuals would have more of its focus around the fulfillment they get from that other person addressing their needs(emotionally, physically, psychologically) and not just wishing that other person liked what you liked but what do I know, clearly. I entered into this relationship with this woman because I was enthralled by her person and character not because I was excited to watch 5 hours of Anthony Bourdain a day on the weekends and sadly when I tell her that it really doesn't matter much to her.
I am sure I'll get some comment about dating my mom so I"ll just put in the obligatory "inb4 mom/age comments".
Anyway. My 49y/o GF stressed common interests at the beginning of the relationship as one thing that kept her from fully committing to it. Eventually she got over it after she recognized that her feelings mattered more than the logic and we were both happy and just moved forward with stuff. We haven't even been together that long but I feel like her whole perspective on the relationship has shifted dramatically just BECAUSE of this annoying little fact.
We had a talk last night where of course she victimized herself and made it seem like I had been playing her from the beginning, and made it seem like I was somehow not sincere about what I was into(movies and TV shows). She got mopy and said she just wished she had someone to share her interests with.
Okay, her "interests" are basically just history and food and things like that. What she is referring to is she wishes I sat with her all damn day after work/on the weekends watching TV shows like Anthony Bourdain's TV shows on AWE, random shows about vacations to Europe, shows about food, and other random "reality" shows about things like bathroom and bedroom makeovers, and shows like The Tudors. I can only stand all this for so long before I just need to get up and go to my computer and chill somewhere else or something. But the way she dramatizes it is bothering me.
We watched Interview with the Vampire together and of course when I brought that up she got all defensive saying "Well yeah finally you did after like a month". Like, wow.
The thing that is worrying me is she says that these interests to her are fulfilling but wishes things were different between us, and, wishes that I was interested in them because "if she's going to get any fulfillment from the relationship" then we should be able to share of course her primary interests. Otherwise, she says, I should just go to my room if I'm going to "fake"(her words)interest so that she can be left to actually enjoy them.
I tried to be sincere about a resolution and actually trying to make an effort to be interested in these things but whenever I start to have my side of the conversation she just doesn't take me seriously ever and it ****ing annoys the hell out of me. She always makes annoying comments about how like "Well we can't talk about video games". Well no sh!t sherlock I don't expect us to be able to, that's my thing as these things are yours. I dunno. ****.
Like what are your guys' thoughts on this? I feel like a relationship between two healthy individuals would have more of its focus around the fulfillment they get from that other person addressing their needs(emotionally, physically, psychologically) and not just wishing that other person liked what you liked but what do I know, clearly. I entered into this relationship with this woman because I was enthralled by her person and character not because I was excited to watch 5 hours of Anthony Bourdain a day on the weekends and sadly when I tell her that it really doesn't matter much to her.
I am sure I'll get some comment about dating my mom so I"ll just put in the obligatory "inb4 mom/age comments".
