ChrisFl
Master Don Juan
Guys, the most amazing thing happened last night. I totally shattered my lifelong fear of dancing in a club and created a new positive self-image, all in a few hours.
You need some background info to appreciate this. I see some clubs now have 80s nights. Last time I danced in a club environment, every night was 80s night, because it was the 1980s. That’s no joke, either- I remember things I’ve done by where I lived or worked at the time, & I’ve been searching my memory lately to figure out how long ago it was. Yep, the last time I did this, Ronald Reagan was in the White House, & Michael Jackson was black. That’s a loooong break. After reading some of the stuff on this site about what you can get away with on the dance floor these days, I had been thinking I need to find a way to get my butt out there.
I used to be one of those guys who stood around in clubs watching others dancing & having a good time, never approached or flirted with anyone, & then came to the conclusion that clubs were a waste of time. Even when I did get out on the dance floor, it was a pretty rare event, so after such a long period of time, I wanted my return to the scene to be a positive one. I feared that otherwise, I’d either revert back to my old ways or try the DJ tactic of going for a bunch of rejections & get my ego crushed to the point where I’d get scared away for another dozen years.
I’ve read the stuff on here & elsewhere on swing dancing, & I’d heard from people I used to know who liked it. I thought that would be a good route for me since the structure of it might make me a little less nervous than I’d be with the freeform shake-your-booty type club dancing. Not to mention the bit about the female needing a male partner, the man being the leader, & the fact that I really like a lot of the music. I thought if I could get myself comfortable on the dance floor that way, not just doing the moves but also asking women to dance, that confidence would transfer to other naughtier forms of dancing.
Just like banging a few ugly girls will develop your sexual confidence for when you start upgrading to the 9s & 10s. (I think it was Will Rogers who once said: Pusssy is *****.
)
The plan worked better than I had imagined: I did it all in one night!
Here’s how:
1. I prepared a plan & followed it.
Rather than just show up at a club on the weekend, I found a place in a little town that has a swing night on Wednesday. For $5 you get a one-hour group lesson, followed by four hours of open dancing. I figured mid-week there’d be less pressure. I also knew the demographics of the town & thought there was a good chance I might be the only person under 50, so the women would be dancing partners only, not chicks to pursue. I also thought that for a woman that age, the chance to dance with a fairly young guy who works out would be a treat, & her enthusiasm would be positive reinforcement for me. Plus a woman that age has probably had a lot of experience dancing, & I could learn from her.
Originally I wasn’t going to write about this until next week. You see, I decided to try this when I saw an ad for an event that takes place this Friday. It’s a similar deal to what I described, but there’ll be a live band, & it takes place in the trendy nightclub area (Ybor City for those of you who know Tampa). I figured there’s bound to be some fine young things there, considering the night of week & the area.
So here was my original idea: to prepare for Friday’s "beginner" session by taking a similar lesson in another town two nights before. My hope is that some other guys will show up, trip over themselves, & now that I have some confidence, I’ll look that much better by comparison!
Let someone else be the wallflower for a change. I think this is a very DJ style plan, don’t you think? I ran this idea by some friends, & they agreed that it’s Deviously Clever. I’m still going Friday, but last night went so well that I didn’t wanna wait to tell you about it.
But that’s not all! On New Year’s Eve I went to a house party in another city where I knew nobody. Just saw it mentioned on the web, called the host, & said I was coming. It was four hours of mingling with total strangers. I did pretty well, so well that when I woke up the next day, I decided to drop the old "shy" label I’ve put on myself for so long, since it really doesn’t seem to apply any more. Funny thing is, once I did that, I think of an idea that might seem rather outgoing or ballsy, tell myself hey I’m not shy any more, & I’m able to go out & do it.
I did even more prep: I bought a book on social dancing (swing, ballroom, salsa, etc) & a couple of how-to-dance videos, one on swing & one more general. I spent less than $40 on all that, & I look at as an investment. I asked myself, how many times in my life have I dropped more than that in an evening entertaining some ungrateful bytch who wasn’t evenworthy of me buying her a Big Mac?
Why not invest some cash on myself for a change?
I even listened to some retro swing CDs during the week to get myself "in the mood". Get it? In the mood? Glenn Miller?
(Ask your grandparents to explain that one.)
[This message has been edited by ChrisFl (edited 01-04-2001).]
You need some background info to appreciate this. I see some clubs now have 80s nights. Last time I danced in a club environment, every night was 80s night, because it was the 1980s. That’s no joke, either- I remember things I’ve done by where I lived or worked at the time, & I’ve been searching my memory lately to figure out how long ago it was. Yep, the last time I did this, Ronald Reagan was in the White House, & Michael Jackson was black. That’s a loooong break. After reading some of the stuff on this site about what you can get away with on the dance floor these days, I had been thinking I need to find a way to get my butt out there.
I used to be one of those guys who stood around in clubs watching others dancing & having a good time, never approached or flirted with anyone, & then came to the conclusion that clubs were a waste of time. Even when I did get out on the dance floor, it was a pretty rare event, so after such a long period of time, I wanted my return to the scene to be a positive one. I feared that otherwise, I’d either revert back to my old ways or try the DJ tactic of going for a bunch of rejections & get my ego crushed to the point where I’d get scared away for another dozen years.
I’ve read the stuff on here & elsewhere on swing dancing, & I’d heard from people I used to know who liked it. I thought that would be a good route for me since the structure of it might make me a little less nervous than I’d be with the freeform shake-your-booty type club dancing. Not to mention the bit about the female needing a male partner, the man being the leader, & the fact that I really like a lot of the music. I thought if I could get myself comfortable on the dance floor that way, not just doing the moves but also asking women to dance, that confidence would transfer to other naughtier forms of dancing.
The plan worked better than I had imagined: I did it all in one night!
Here’s how:
1. I prepared a plan & followed it.
Rather than just show up at a club on the weekend, I found a place in a little town that has a swing night on Wednesday. For $5 you get a one-hour group lesson, followed by four hours of open dancing. I figured mid-week there’d be less pressure. I also knew the demographics of the town & thought there was a good chance I might be the only person under 50, so the women would be dancing partners only, not chicks to pursue. I also thought that for a woman that age, the chance to dance with a fairly young guy who works out would be a treat, & her enthusiasm would be positive reinforcement for me. Plus a woman that age has probably had a lot of experience dancing, & I could learn from her.
Originally I wasn’t going to write about this until next week. You see, I decided to try this when I saw an ad for an event that takes place this Friday. It’s a similar deal to what I described, but there’ll be a live band, & it takes place in the trendy nightclub area (Ybor City for those of you who know Tampa). I figured there’s bound to be some fine young things there, considering the night of week & the area.
So here was my original idea: to prepare for Friday’s "beginner" session by taking a similar lesson in another town two nights before. My hope is that some other guys will show up, trip over themselves, & now that I have some confidence, I’ll look that much better by comparison!
But that’s not all! On New Year’s Eve I went to a house party in another city where I knew nobody. Just saw it mentioned on the web, called the host, & said I was coming. It was four hours of mingling with total strangers. I did pretty well, so well that when I woke up the next day, I decided to drop the old "shy" label I’ve put on myself for so long, since it really doesn’t seem to apply any more. Funny thing is, once I did that, I think of an idea that might seem rather outgoing or ballsy, tell myself hey I’m not shy any more, & I’m able to go out & do it.
I did even more prep: I bought a book on social dancing (swing, ballroom, salsa, etc) & a couple of how-to-dance videos, one on swing & one more general. I spent less than $40 on all that, & I look at as an investment. I asked myself, how many times in my life have I dropped more than that in an evening entertaining some ungrateful bytch who wasn’t evenworthy of me buying her a Big Mac?
I even listened to some retro swing CDs during the week to get myself "in the mood". Get it? In the mood? Glenn Miller?
[This message has been edited by ChrisFl (edited 01-04-2001).]
