How I got over day time approach anxiety

[white_hype]

note: This is about day time approaching while SOBER (lol). At night my game is pretty solid and if im buzzed its the best in the world (or so I think lol)... but now a days I try to do things sober (cant afford to drink b/c i got too many things going on)

In my opinion this is the hardest part about girls. Approaching. I am not talking about approaching when you are in a club (sober or buzzed doesnt matter, that atmosphere is easier to approach in, IMO, b/c basically thats the only reason people go out... to meet new people and have fun)... approaching during the day can be hard (or was for me) b/c of all the social conditioning. I only know a handful of guys that would have no fear of approaching/number closing random girls throughout the day, and I know a lot of fvcking people. Somehow society makes it a little weird and I bought into it.

Anyways, heres how I got over it. Keep in mind it tries to creep back every now and then, but for the most part, I am comfortable going up and talking to any girl and trying to get her number (In most situations... I'm not always 100% ready to approach 4 girls talking with 3 dudes by the pool... YET lol).

1- find out what you want. Without having a defined destination, any path will take you there. You want to have a structured plan to get where you want to be... why? b/c otherwise it could take a lot longer, and you already are a busy guy with tons of other sh1t going on, right? also, you want to be effective.
It took me 6 months to finally figure it out (figured out life too). But I was able to set clear goals. Set long term and short term.

ie- Long term - approaching any girl I want to whenever I want to and usually getting her #
short term- approaching any girl and talk to her for more than 15 seconds

2- make it hard to fail
for me to fail I have to simply not go out with the intentions of PU when I have free time. This means if I go out and dont approach I dont get negative/down. I have such high expectations that whenever I go out to PU I ALWAYS APPROACH. I know I will feel like a ***** who is not living up to his full potential if I dont at least say hi hows it going to some ugly girl. WHITE_HYPE AFRAID OF AN UGLY GIRL? FVCK NO, BETTER NOT BE. This leads to "warming up" (just approaching to get the wheels in motion, outcome doesnt matter). After I approach one girl, just to approach, I FEEL A LOT BETTER. This makes me want to do it more, to get that feeling again, and I usually approach a lot more girls.
make it hard to fail WHEN you have approached. For me to fail when I have appro/get blown out/get rejectedached I simply have to agree with what they say. If a girl says "you are fvcking ugly" "go away weirdo" or makes a scene or some sh1t, the only way what she says can be true for me is if I agree with what she says. If i Go home and say "maybe i am a weirdo.." then I have failed. I NEVER THINK THIS. This girl has no fvcking idea who i am, so fvck her

make excuses for the girl
if she blows you out (rejects you) say "she probably has had a bad day" "proably wants an ego boost rejecting a stud like me b/c she rarely gets hit on" "probably on PMS" "probably has a BF that beats her" ANYTHING. Realise girls who dont give you their number/hook up with you do this b/c they have problems with themselves, not you (you do realise that you are FVCKING MONEY and any girl would be lucky to be with you right? )

3- stack reasons WHY you are doing PU
This **** really works. YOu need to make up like 15 or more reasons WHY you should go approach that girl. But make sure they are good reasons and b/c YOU Want them, not b/c you want to show off to your friends/ex girlfriend. THAT IS NOT GOOD (ask if you dont understand why that is bad motivation)
you want stuff like this:
1- b/c it is an opportunity for growth
2- it will increase my people skills which will hlep in my future job
3- I can learn about myself
4- I can learn about other people/other cultures/ etc
5- it could possibly lead to lots of cool **** (lakehouse model parties, orgies, cool friends, free stuff, etc etc)
get it? when you are hesistanting ask why you are doing this, think of all the good things that can happen and you will realise its WORTH IT to tlak to this girl (Trust me, this was a huge one for me).

4- go PU with a GOOD wing. Try to find someome who is on the same level with you or better and is positive and puts the effort out there to PU girls. Having someone there is very motivational and it can make it even more fun at times

5- start small
do warm ups (just walk up and talk to someone for like 10 seconds) I do like 4-5 of these then I feel GREAT. I realise that its not big deal and people actually like talking to strangers.
Then appraoch girls lower on the totem poll (hb 6's) that are in easy situations (waiting for the bus by themselves, walking alone, etc) then work your way up to harder sets

6- leave your ego at the door
I did this A LOT. I wouldnt approach girls at parties I didnt think were hot (unless i was hammered lol) b/c I knew I wouldnt want to fvck them. BULL****. Approach anyways (if you dont approach any hotites that is) to sharpen your skills/test out new material/keep from being rusty. These girls can give a huge confidence booster. I noticed I would sometimes run game on uglies if no hotties were around to just **** around and have fun. Usually it went well and I felt great (some can be cool/funny) but if there were like "youre a dork go away" I just laughed at them and walked off... who cares, they are fvcking UGLY LOL. Bringing your ego of "3 yrs ago I got nothing but hotties, I dont want to settle for these hbs 7s!!" IS BULL****. The past cannot be changed NOR relived so fvck it. Learn from your past and just get better.

7-have go to material
one of my major fears, as you know, was that I was afriad I would approach "hey whats up!!"
her- "nothing"
me- uh.... k bye

LOL

even if i did that I wouldnt give 2 ****s now. BUt it was fvcking CRIPPLING when i had little confidence. Me witht he big ego didnt want to look like some tool afc. THats why I memorized about 5 mins of material to go to in case I blanked. Something I could always spit out (and was good). This gave me the confidnece to just approach and go with it and if things went bad or stalled I would just spit out the memorized crap. This usually allowed my brain to start working again and start new threads (topics of convo). Eventually I tried out new memorized crap when the other stuff got old so eventually I had like 20-30 mins of stuff I could always go to. This may sound cheesy/weak but whatever, it was really effective. I could use the material alone and then just do some rapport (so where you from/age/school/job) then just go for a kiss and it would WORK... A LOT. With stuff to always say it eased my mind and kept me from thinking to much (my crux) so I could be more spontaneous/say my own stuff which is when I really started to get good.

LAST ONE
GO out with the intentions to PU chicks and to LEARN (treat everything as a learning expereince). Use this frame. Often you will hesitate. YOu will try to make excuses "she didnt look at me" "she looks busy" "shes talking to her friend" NO FVCKING EXCUSES ANYMORE. I needed a kick in the ass which a friend, fortunately, gave to me. I hesitated so bad he just said "Listen man, if you cant even go appraoch 1 girl and go for the number Im going to do this with someone else" (he was just pushing me, and was full of it lol) but thats what I needed. Im very competitive and think highly of myself so I approached the girl right after he said that. I was NERVOUS when I first stopped her. She was walking by me, sunglasses on (no EC... dont wait for EC. Ive Fclosed many girls without getting ANY IOI's. Do not let this be an exucse) and walking fast. I just went really direct
me- Hey hows it going
her- good you?
me- doing great. I have to go soon, Im meeting up with friends, but can I ask you a quesiton?
her- sure
me- are you single?
her- takes glasses off, big smile
uhh yea
me- cool, how about you give me your number... and if we are cool on the phone, then maybe we can go hang out and do something fun together
her- hmm.. *big smile* well if you want to hang out ill be at xyz at blah o lock.
me- *not even really knowing whats going on. I was just so happy i approahced* haha alright, cya
her- byee!

In set i wasnt nervous at all. Why? b/c i didnt give a **** what she did. I was just happy I appraoched. I acheived my goal, while in set I could not fail b/c that was just "icing" I already accomplished what i set out to do

so when you are out there and stall... remember this PM and just say FVCK IT, hype will think Im a ****ing *****, the only way I can fail is if i dont aproach, then JUST DO IT! JUST MAKE YOUR BODY GO OVER TO HER AND SAY "HI" after that its all gravy baby

let me know if this helps or u have any more ?'s

 

[griffon65]

good post, bible material

 

[animal crackers]

Excellent Post.

Where did you come from man?




animal crackers

 

[quest]

Originally posted by griffon65
good post, bible material

Horrible post.
But extremely worthy of the bible.

white_hype. I too am I night time buzzed approacher.

your post touched me.

If you had some idea how to write, (I can't either) that'd be one of the top 5 tips i've ever read.

EVERYONE should read this although it takes some time to make sense of it.. read it, read it thoughrally.

 

[Dr Box]

Hey Man,
Great post, makes alot of sense ad yes everyone afraid of approaching day or night should read this!!

 

[animal crackers]

Bump

 

[white_hype]

Originally posted by quest
Horrible post.
But extremely worthy of the bible.

white_hype. I too am I night time buzzed approacher.

your post touched me.

If you had some idea how to write, (I can't either) that'd be one of the top 5 tips i've ever read.

EVERYONE should read this although it takes some time to make sense of it.. read it, read it thoughrally.

haha thanks

Im actually a good writer, I just put 0 effort into editing posts.. I will see I have misspelled a word, no captials etc and not even care to go back and read it

animal crackers- thx, and where did this come from? good question. I started out here just like everyone else here... mildly successful with girls but 90% of my hooksups came out of no where (or so I thought). I attribute those hookups to my looks/confidence/natural CF/and ALCOHOL LOL. Nearly all my hookups were when I had been drinking... luckily I drank frequently lol
I have really high standards for myself (and so should you all, but I know already do ), which makes me always want to do things better. I want more out of life than most people. Sometimes this can be a bad thing and Im trying to work on that (ie- I will pull a HB8 but I'll be like.. so what, thats just 1 girl out of billions and why wasnt she a hb9? or I got a 94 on a really hard test... well thats great buy why not a 95? sometimes it can be that extreme but I am working on enjoying my spoils)

anyways, these insights came b/c I took the time to learn and put effort into it. A book I recommend is MAXIMUM ACHIEVEMENT - by Brian Tracy. The book helps you understand why you do what you do, how to achieve your goals, and how to live great and be happy living no matter what.

I often just read posts here and at fastseduction... you have to sift through the garbage b/c so many people KJ... but then I realised I wasnt taking time to reflect on what I had learned. I would come to my computer after a busy day read some stuff then do something else... never just meditating and reflecting. I feel reflecting (serious reflecting... no distractions, no tv, no internet, etc) is VERY POWERFUL. I realised what I needed to do and what I had to do from this. I then wrote it down. This is HUGE. Writing this **** down prooves to your subconscious that you are serious about this and have defined goals (this will motivate you more and ease stress).

I also learned from other people. I would observe my friends when they were trying to PU girls (mostly at parties)... I have a bunch of really cool friends so I got to learn some quality stuff. One of my friends was a true natural, this guy was amazing. He was about a 8.5 in looks (nothing amazing, he couldnt model) but he looked a little different than everyone and was always mildy-above average peacocked. I instantly became good friends with him and we ran a lot of sets togheter (this is pre so suave).. he destroyed TONS of social constraints I DIDNT EVEN REALISE I HAD. He did sh1t I wouldnt even think other people could do. It hadnt even crossed my mind and he was just doing it like no big deal.. and doing it WELL. Having a good wing like that jumpstarted my game. It also inspired me to PU and I became a lot better than most AFCs.
heres an example of him-
at a frat party I spot 2 girls (1 a hb 7, 1 a HB 8). The hb8 is on the phone, the other is just standing next to her. heres what happens
me- lets go talk to those 2 chicks after she is off the phone
pu- nah lets do it now
*pu walks over there, i follow
pu- Hi
hb8- hey I'll call you back *HANGS UP WTF* HEY!
he then proceeds to F close the hb8 (I did nothing but talk to the hb7 for like 20 mins till I ejected when it wasnt going anywhere) AFTER SHE GAVE ME AND 3 OTHER FRIENDS A RIDE HOME. WOW.
After seeing stuff like that, I realised ANYTHING is possible

I was scarred to do anything but night time sarging b/c that was what I was comfortable with (usually buzzed) but I made a baby step to do it sober and now my game is skyrocketing b/c I am conscious of everything I do (not unconsicous competence yet... thats the main goal but very hard to get). I am a very postive/confident person but society and external influences make it hard to let your true potential come out. This is why many people fail. The constraints you put on yourself adapt and camoflauge themselves all the fvcking time. That is why if you ever stall or get down on yourself you need to go directly to the source of it. YOu must be compeltey honest with yourself

I also believe maturity has a lot to do with these revelations (age does not determine maturity, you do). At 19 (i just turned 21) I could give 2 ****s about all this b/c I was having the time of my life and was to busy with other things... but this spring I took some time off (~4 months of limited partying, lot of down time to discover myself b/c even though it seemed I had it all together, my mind wanted to do everything and anything and it was chaos. I wanted to go traveling, I wanted to be able to PU hb 9's all the time, I wanted to do well in school, I wanted blah blah) I realised I had been doing lots of stuff well, but ti could be done better if I organized my mind.

the saying "the teacher will appear when the student is ready" is so fvcking true. With my new mindset I looked/acted/talked about eveyrthing differently, and that changed EVERYONE around me. People tried to help me, I ended up meeting lots of cool people that shared the same beliefs as me and since I was going out to learn all I could, I absorbed every bit of knowledge dropped on me by strangers. Everyone became my mentor

awesome, i just reread animal crakcers post and it said "where did YOU come from" not "where did this come from" lmao... my brain is so fried right now (just got done lifting and have 2 fvcking tests this week)

the light bulb will go on when you want it to

 

[animal crackers]

Good Times Man.

I say where did you come from because there aren't that many posts like this where you can tell the guy actually went out there and learned things about the game and about life.

There's so much theoretical crap it makes me want to puke because it just leads to more reading trying to find the answers in yet another post.


animal crackers

 

[white_hype]

Originally posted by animal crackers
Good Times Man.

I say where did you come from because there aren't that many posts like this where you can tell the guy actually went out there and learned things about the game and about life.

There's so much theoretical crap it makes me want to puke because it just leads to more reading trying to find the answers in yet another post.


animal crackers

completely agreed. That is why you probably don't see much of me here. Too many people talking about it, not enough doing it. I am also a very logical person (or try to be) and just want the facts.

I've seen your posts and think you are an excellent poster/PUA. I am actually a lot like you (from what I've seen). Just going out and having fun with it and learnign every chance you get.

 

[RarelyGetAHairCut]

white_hype

How early in the morning are you talking about?

 

[white_hype]

Originally posted by RarelyGetAHairCut
white_hype

How early in the morning are you talking about?

1 hr before dawn... lol, what I mean by daytime is anytime where you are not in a club/party/bar. Basically it's any place where society doesn't expect guys to actively try to PU girls (ie- walking to grocery store, parking lot, at grocery store, in line for the movies, bookstore, walking down the street, the park, the cafeteria, in class, bus stop, etc)

 

[gimmeyofonenumba]

Man, I cant thank you anymore for this. Probably the most helpfull post for me on here ever. When i started, I got the guts to approach the insanely hot 9's, but the convo was just so bad, that it actually built a wall in my mind, to not even approach any girl unless i have alot to talk about.

I was at walmart today, this chick gave me ec for a good ammount of time, but i DIDNT APPROACH. OHHHMANNN i so fvckin regret it, she must've been an 8.5. I've done some crazy ass approaches but the ones sitting in my lap i freeze up.

Anyways i love that line you have with the maybe if we click on the phone we can hang out sometime...THats gonna be my backup. GREAT WHYTE HYPE YOU ARE MY HERO, im signin off right now, and aint comin back till iam laid.
-PEACE-

 

[I_Only_Live_Once]

Cool Post. You say you have 30 minutes of material...what do you talk about for that long? and from the example you gave, you were very quick and direct.

 

[white_hype]

Originally posted by gimmeyofonenumba
Man, I cant thank you anymore for this. Probably the most helpfull post for me on here ever. When i started, I got the guts to approach the insanely hot 9's, but the convo was just so bad, that it actually built a wall in my mind, to not even approach any girl unless i have alot to talk about.

I was at walmart today, this chick gave me ec for a good ammount of time, but i DIDNT APPROACH. OHHHMANNN i so fvckin regret it, she must've been an 8.5. I've done some crazy ass approaches but the ones sitting in my lap i freeze up.

Anyways i love that line you have with the maybe if we click on the phone we can hang out sometime...THats gonna be my backup. GREAT WHYTE HYPE YOU ARE MY HERO, im signin off right now, and aint comin back till iam laid.
-PEACE-

thx man

and LOL I was just like you
I made it a point to approach the super hotties and was happy if I could talk witht hem for more than 10 minutes! I somehow felt "better" by just appraoching... like I had the balls no one else had (not may people would appraoch them unless they were really drunk or just tools who had no chance). I too then got a little bitter towards really hot chicks b/c I got blown out a lot and was like "man all these *****es are so stuck up, they are always judging for no reason" but thankfully, I soon dropped that loser mentality. So I said I would only go after them if I was feeling good and could talk about crap that was cool (didnt happen to much b/c I started thinking to much then the window of opportunity would close)

same with the EC man. I got to the point where I would rather not get any EC b/c it was so frustrating to know that I probalby could have fvcked the girl that gave me hardcore EC but instead I just would keep walking by (WTF) (I get a lot of EC everyday now that I look for it... those are almost too easy at times )

Don't stress over this stuff though. Just take baby steps and don't think "must get laid." You want to be able to repeat the process (keep getting laid all the time) and to do that you start off at the beginning... by approaching the UG's and working your way up

now get out there and be somebody lol

 

[white_hype]

Originally posted by I_Only_Live_Once
Cool Post. You say you have 30 minutes of material...what do you talk about for that long? and from the example you gave, you were very quick and direct.

I read things on these boards and others. It's canned material (pre written). www.bristollair.com is where I got a good majority of the crap. I would memorize 1 opener or 1 routine and use it for a while... eventually they get old/boring and I want to try new stuff out so I memeorize another opener and use that instead... flash to 3 months later and I have like 5 openers and 8 routines memorized... thats like 30 mins of convo right there. Plus all I need is a little spark to get me going then I can talk A LOT and I'm usually very good at that (naturally CF/field experince)... it's just getting to the point where I can flow is sometimes hard.. eventually I will be flowing nearly all the dam time


and yes, you cant be much more direct than that lol. I don't really have much time to always be doing PU (although if I do I try to make the convo a little longer, this helps the chances) so I'll just go full blown direct. I mean, I see maybe 15 girls I want to fvck everyday (I go to UT... tons of people here) and thats just walking to class and going to the gym. I don't have time to talk to each girl for 5-60 minutes so I just go direct. You will be surprised at how easy it is once you do it

 

[avrilishot]

im going to try this tommorow. thanks for posting I find it very helpfull.

 

[PeoplesChamp]

Very Inspiring! Thanks for all the great advice white hype. I'm right at the phase where I am getting more comfortable with approaching but still let past self limiting beliefs drag me down. Then I start picking myself apart wondering if it is me that is the problem. This is definitely what I needed...a change of frame.