How friendships are made ?

Mitza

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Today I asked myself a question : "How friends are made ?" . and I comed to conclusion that friends are made after you do something, an activity, something that the two, or more of you participated.

But untill now I don't understand the whole process, can someone explain me a little ? And another thing I saw is that people tend to be friends after they get drunk toghether.
 

Maeisgood

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Many "friendships" are actually very superficial, especially ones that seem to happen after drinking. Most friendships take time to develope into something meaningful. Don't worry about people that have 300 myspace friends. Those are not real friends. People befriend them to impress others.

Most friends have something in common that they can relate to, similar interests, similar senses of humor, similar experiences, etc.

Before pursuing friends, find out what your interests are.
 

Mitza

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Don't worry about people that have 300 myspace friends.
I know, because to handle a huge horde of friends like that you'll need all day long. :)

Most friends have something in common that they can relate to, similar interests, similar senses of humor, similar experiences, etc.
I know that I must have something in common with a person to become friends, but I don't know why in last year I was reading very much, started an online business, and some of my interests changes, and my old friends are not like before.Maybe I should search for new people, but I still want to hang out with the old ones, because we are old friends.
 

comic_relief

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Maeisgood said:
Many "friendships" are actually very superficial, especially ones that seem to happen after drinking. Most friendships take time to develope into something meaningful. Don't worry about people that have 300 myspace friends. Those are not real friends. People befriend them to impress others.

Most friends have something in common that they can relate to, similar interests, similar senses of humor, similar experiences, etc.

Before pursuing friends, find out what your interests are.
agreed with you on your points maeisgood.

I used to rarely make friends because no one had my unique touch. Since I got into college, I made three very good friends and then a couple friends. Which is cool.

I go play racquetball with one. Another, a girl, likes to go hiking and camping (I have a girlfriend and she has a boyfriend). Another one, I talk about football and other sports with.

I go play walleyball and a couple other sports with a couple friends but other than that, I just chill out with a bunch of others.

comic_relief
 

tuxen

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Real friends are rare. Thats why nothing is ever more important than family.

All relationships apart from family generally share the same concept.

'Each person has something to gain by knowing the other person'

Be it advice, fun times, commonalities, or favours. This point of interest in the other person is what makes the friendship work. When this point of interest stops being exchanged the friendship generally withers away.

Thats why social circles grow and shrink, in order to have 'friends', you ultimately need to be doing something for them. The more effort you put in, the more you get back.
 

theapprentice

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So

So your saying that friends that you have to chill with on the weekend are few and rare?

That at any given time that a person will have 3 or 4 very good friends at any given point in their life?

Im also in college and I have made some new friends, but I still feel traped in a box when it comes to oppurtunities.

I mean my college is commuter college and there isn't that many oppurtunities to meet new people, in class almost everyone stays quiet and never communicates with each other. At the lunch table it's usually people who already know each other and you can't just ask to join their table since it looks wierd.

What am I supposed to do?
 
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