How friendly are you in general?

[ilikecharlene]

How well do you treat people in general?

Are you friendly to those whom you don't respect, or to groups you don't like?

 

[FairShake]

Are you friendly to those whom you don't respect, or to groups you don't like?

Yep. Although I like and respect more people than most. I really only don't like and respect bullies.

Life is so much easier when you're friendly. People have literally no idea how much better and easier life is when you put on a front of friendliness. They want to be real, or tough, or some other thing that only gives you headaches. In my work world and to a lesser extend my social world I find it easier and more effective to be diplomatic and kind. You get away with more, get laid more, have more friends.

 

[Who Dares Win]

Keep a low profile in everyday situation, dont challenge people for the sake of it or to "out alpha" them, do it only when theres a good reason or a potential gain at the horizon.

Especially in everyday life, like the working place again keep a low profile, your mouth shut and your ears open.

When you meet someone new keep a friendly vibe as default which you can calibrate according the feedbacks, most of the people is so used to annoying individuals in their lifes that will be more than ready to reward you.

You can be hostile only when you are untouchable or way above the others, in that case it pays off, in everyday life it does not.

Regarding groups you dont like just be polite, in this social world reputation and social proof counts as much as what you actually put on the table.

 

[LainiG]

Friendly to others including the person you don't like

 

[avoidthenoid]

Try to be as friendly as possible. Don't walk around with a goofy grin on my face all of the time, but I try to be nice when interacting with people.

 

[comic_relief]

I am generally friendly but fvck with me outside of work and I'll show you just how friendly I can be!

- comic_relief

 

[Mike32ct]

I'm more the low profile guy like Who Dares Wins talks about.

I think it's a good policy at work.

People have to earn my friendship or aquaintance. I'm a nice guy and not snobby at all, but reserved. I get to know people over time instead of some kind of instant connection.

Notwithstanding, I like what FairShake is saying. It wouldn't hurt me to open up a bit more with more friendliness.

I think the reason I'm reserved besides being an introvert and growing up in New England (a region never known for friendliess save parts of Maine, Rhode Island and parts of Boston) is that I'm a bit cynical about the clique stuff.

From 6th grade all the way up to recent days in the workplace, I see how clique-y people are. You can be as friendly as you want, but if you aren't part of their group, you will never be truly included by them. (Read the "Embrace the hate" thread to see what I mean.)

So I have nothing against being more friendly, in fact, Im working on that, but I don't expect anything from it.

 

[Bible_Belt]

When you live in a small town, you have to be at least somewhat friendly, because you will keep running into the same people over and over again. We hardly ever have road rage - if you start honking and flipping someone off, there's a good chance you will later realize that you know the person. Either that, or you will end up going to the same store as your road rage enemy, parking next to them, and pushing your cart beside them in the store.

When I lived in Tampa, it was the opposite. People had no shame toward strangers; it's like they're disposable, because you will likely never see them again. That attitude is contagious, and I don't think I was any different.

 

[Huffman]

I would like to be friendly all the time, but when I'm tired or when I'm concentrating and getting interrupted, I just can't be bothered.

 

[Deep Dish]

I’m as friendly as who I’m talking to. I can get along with just about anyone, and will converse with strangers like a good buddy, but if you’re a dîck I’ll be the same right back at ya (or simply ignore you). I also agree about staying low key.

 

[Deep Dish]

Bible_Belt:
When you live in a small town, you have to be at least somewhat friendly, because you will keep running into the same people over and over again. We hardly ever have road rage - if you start honking and flipping someone off, there's a good chance you will later realize that you know the person. Either that, or you will end up going to the same store as your road rage enemy, parking next to them, and pushing your cart beside them in the store.

When I lived in Tampa, it was the opposite. People had no shame toward strangers; it's like they're disposable, because you will likely never see them again. That attitude is contagious, and I don't think I was any different.

I had a funny weird night, last night. I was hanging out in a pub with a good buddy, STR8UP, and talked about a wide range of topics. I briefly talked about how I’m gaming a chick at a Chipotle, and later on a guy sitting next to me struck up conversation with me. Turns out he’s a cook at the very Chipotle (a few miles down the street) and overheard everything I said. I ended up chatting with the guy for about an hour and he brought up the same exact thing.

It’s a relic of tribalism. Our evolutionary heritage was rooted in tribes of no more than 150 clansmen, and tribes would always splinter whenever the limit was exceeded. Even up to the 1500’s, 2/3rds of communities were under 150 people. We’re biologically wired to be cooperative towards in-groups and xenophobic towards outsiders. So when you’re a large city like Tampa or Miami, you’re wired to subconsciously think “Oh, they’re not in my ‘tribe,’ so why should I care.” This is why people will carelessly walk by a homeless guy laying wounded in the streets of New York, but villagers will rush to give aid.

 

[PRMoon]

When I'm sober I'm the nicest guy around. When I've put a few back though....look out.