How does one stop being fragile?

[Teddy_Beer]

What I mean is how does one stop taking rejection and low interest so personally and stop being such a people pleaser (trying To please people so much) ?

 

[Teddy_Beer]

I know all that. I guess It's more about having more experience and knowing what I want in life.

And hardest of all...kill the conditioning.

 

[Robert28]

Depends on the rejection. If I don’t have anything or much at all invested in the girl then I brush it off like it’s nothing. Same with low interest. Now, if I’ve been seeing a girl for months or years and she out of nowhere gives me the “let’s be friends” or she starts treating me like a friend all of a sudden but doesn’t tell me I’m in the friend zone and sending me all these weird mixed signals all of a sudden, then I’m gone. If you’re going to friend zone me at least tell me, don’t make me figure it out, especially if you’re still making me take you on all these dates and acting like I’m the boyfriend. I had a girl so just that. We’d been dating, started off dating, I noticed she was starting to become distant and she wouldn’t kiss me 3 times in a row that we hung out. Then she gave me the “we are friends” line even though we’d been dating and hadn’t had a talk about this at all. I was pissed but I just said “ok bye”. Blocked, deleted from everything. She can die for all I care.

 

[Epic Days]

Because you don't know anything. You are under the Feminine Imperative and men are less than women because they own the pvssy. When in fact she gives it up freely all the time and in many cases, lots of men. Trust me. It's not all that precious. It's a self cleaning, easily infected orifice. Some are not very well kept at all.

 

[Kotaix]

You should read "No more mr nice guy". It's about helping with exactly what you're talking about. There are other books out there.

Remember that the conditioning isn't something you can just switch off, and reading one book or hearing one piece of advice isn't going to magically fix the problem. You have to get out of your own head and be in the moment to analyze your own behavior as you interact with women. Learn to see their actions as an act and not a representation of truth.

You have to unlearn the programming and that takes work and time because it pervades all aspects of life. Keep at it and you'll succeed, Learning to not give a fvck, looking out for your own interests, and not taking everything personally should be high on your list of priorities

 

[BeExcellent]

Advice from the old lady;

Outcome independence. Remove your expectations from other people (fantasy thinking) and observe what people do. That’s part 1. Then you have part 2., which is own your own value.

If someone in your life does not appreciate your value and does not behave in a manner that shows they value you, do not make that person a priority in your life.

This entails learning or improving your own self worth to where you place high value in yourself, and therefore require others to treat you as high value.

Notice I didn’t say expect. I said require. Big difference in mindset.

I agree that parenting can leave residual effects on your psyche. You may have a degree of that to overcome.

My father was the parent who imprinted values and so forth on me, a woman. My father was a strong leader and held everyone around him to very high standards, me included. He never treated me like a princess & I had to work hard to earn his respect.

That’s why I relate to men so well. I had lots to figure out about how to be a woman growing up, but I got that figured out in time.

Outcome independence and intrinsic self worth. Those are key.

 

[jake-da-snake]

Do Brazilian Jiu Jitsu/a combat sport. Just show up, be humble, and learn. Your don't-giva-fvck score will skyrocket, as will your self esteem.

 

[daproest1]

Do Brazilian Jiu Jitsu/a combat sport. Just show up, be humble, and learn. Your don't-giva-fvck score will skyrocket, as will your self esteem.

I can agree with this 100%. From experience.

 

[Plinco]

What I mean is how does one stop taking rejection and low interest so personally and stop being such a people pleaser (trying To please people so much) ?

You are asking the wrong question. You should ask "how do I get tougher" If you try to eliminate a negative, you won't get to where you want to go.

 

[fastlife]

Like anything else: Practice.

Practice new thoughts. Practice putting yourself in new situations. Practice getting rejected. Set aside 6 mos of your life to this & you'll be on your way

https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/create-your-own-confidence-how-to-be-you.233590/
https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/stagnation-at-sosuave-when-frame-is-weakness.233309/

 

[matteo-d]

The need to be accepted by others will always grow out of lack of love. But love from others will never replace the love you can give to yourself.

- Ask yourself: what do you actually like in yourself ?

If the answer is no,

- Then what can you do to start liking yourself as a person.

When you start to truly love yourself, the need for other's approval greatly diminishes, because you don't need it anymore.
That's why personal development is so much linked to seduction. Because if you like nothing in yourself, and you think you don't deserve attention, then why girls would bother ??

Common areas to develop your own self esteem are working on your body (musculation, weight loss, fighting sport...) and your mind (meditation, hypnosis, reframing self talk etc.)

But more basically, take anything where you can start to make progress, the more you make progress in a discipline you like, the more your self esteem will grow, and the less you will need to get other's approval and get rejection so badly at heart