The problem with this mindset is trying to acquire the power through control (via games, jealousy, force, etc), and inadvertingly attracting insecure control freaks with self-esteem and approval-seeking issues and tendencies. It ends up becoming a struggle to gain the upper-hand, and keep the other person beneath them and under their wing. This is how abusers and controlling jackasses operate... hence why all they do is play crap games, try to undermine the other person, make them dependant on them, etc. They're weak, insecure, co-dependant, and have no real confidence. They also target the weak and submissive. Bullies and losers, really.
When you act this way - the other person (if confident enough, and doesn't have piss-poor self-esteem) WILL fight back, or dump your ass altogether - as you are a loser and deserve it. A constant battle for control and out-smarting the other is more likely. It becomes a huge, emotionally draining, complete waste of time mind****.
I had so-called relationships like this before, and they SUCKED.
(Remember that we're talking about relationships, here... not casual affairs, jumping around, remaining single, etc.)
Rather than being an insecure nutjob who "needs" women, and tries to control them or gain the upper-hand over them, you want to be in a position where others can't control or maintain power over YOU. This includes setting clear boundaries, standing up for yourself, saying "no" when necessary, not putting others over yourself, not tolerating BS, not being outcome dependant, not chasing or obsessing, not falling prey to manipulative games and schemes with the intent of gaining control, not "giving in" or rocking the boat out of fear of offending or loss, not attaching yourself too early and being unable to walk away...
Always maintain your independence, and don't "lose" yourself to someone. Also, don't follow others, take their orders, let them do all the deciding (if you're good enough for them; trying to appeal to their standards, and making them the prize), tell them what you are / need to do, let them pick at you, etc.
At the same time, you want to provide enough value, excitement, and intrigue - to keep them wanting more, and remaining interested... which is on them. You're not "forcing" anything on them. If they don't want it - no big deal. Do NOT pursue or act passive-aggressive and play games out of desperation when / if they lose interest. That's how they gain the control - whether intentional or not. And this just means you're putting on a charade, and aren't really content with yourself. Don't be an insecure girl.
This is with all people... don't be a chump, don't try too hard, and don't really care. The goal is to remain in-control of YOURSELF, and never fear losing someone, or being "alone" and unlikeable... because they really aren't that special. You don't "need" anyone, don't have to prove anything or live up to their BS, and only end up losing YOURSELF to others - who almost always turn out to be no good, and wind up controlling YOU.
Make sure you also weed people out, because there's a lot of **** out there. Insecurity and immaturity are two big things you gotta watch for when it comes to LTRs.
By not being a chump and having sufficient standards and self-esteem - you won't attract control freaks or losers, and probably won't have to worry about needing the power. Remember that others also can't gain the "power" unless you let them. So, don't.
This isn't to say you do nothing - while they do everything. Not at all. Just that you aren't a desperate chump who needs (not "likes") others, and places himself beneath them, or allows them to run him down. You can still have a relationship, show interest, reciprocate, and all that ****. Just don't go overboard, and become the controlee'. Make sure it's pretty mutual, and don't slide beneath them. You don't control them, but they can't control you. This is how it SHOULD be, and how successful relationships are. Not much different from a friendship, really (in certain respects).
