How Do You Talk To Women At A Gym With Headphones On?

[Warrior74]

So you're supposed to just get lucky one day and happen to see her when she's leaving or entering the gym?

Do not listen to this advice.


GUYS! Come ON...DJ's do NOT wait around for the perfect opportunity...DJ's MAKE the most of opportunities, regardless of the challenges, the obstacles, etc.! There is no perfect time or place to approach a hot woman...you see a hot woman, you approach her, and you make her smile...simple. Women don't give a fvuck if you interuupt them...if you make them laugh, they'll forget what the fvuck they're doing...

Balls, men...show some balls.

If that works for you, go for it. The few women I've hooked up with at the gym came from flirting and eye contact. The guys at my gym who advocate what your suggesting usually get shutdown hard and ridculed. In fact we were talking about this one guy who is a gym troll (goes to the gym to show off his arms and hit on girls) who got shutdown so hard he stopped coming to that gym, it was hillarious. Meanwhile my boy is making eye contact and smiling at a chic and gets her number in the parking lot.

All this guy can do is try and see what happens. My bets are on total blowout though. Women choose first, we choose second.

 

[Warrior74]

The eye contact, etc. that you convey in your post is great...it really is...but, meeting a chick only as she's leaving or entering the gym...???? Why?

If you think that men should "not bother" women who wear headphones into gyms...great...that leaves less competition for me...because chances are, most of those women are hot--and hot women in gyms do not make themselves easily accessible...you have to separate yourself from the masses...be someone different...and the risk is being ridiculed...

But I've been ridiculed many times over by women...and I really don't care about being ridiculed...that's their issue, not mine. I don't fall in line too well...I'd rather take my chances and be original and be ridiculed for it...I'd rather be ridiculed than be like most guys who leave the gym and masturbate, thinking what a legend they are in their own mind...

If you're never being ridiculed by women, you're probably not making enough approaches, or, you're kissing ass and trying to be perfect for them. Not my style.

I don't have time to argue over it. Take out a sheet of paper and take 10 minutes and write down why you think I advocate what I do. Get outside of your own POV. If your style works for you, good. more than one way to skin a cat.

 

[wjh]

Don't hit on girls at the gym. Get them to hit on you.

By their very nature, gyms are more masculine than feminine. Working out, getting pumped, getting the testosterone flowing, those things are all associated with men rather than women. Go in there with the mindset that this is your world, not hers, and you are going to take charge of it. Work out, and work out HARD. Don't waste your time hitting on some chick. When you work out hard, people will start seeing your results, and you'll probably get other guys to start asking you for spots, asking you about your program, etc. Befriend these guys. Joke around with them. Have fun.

Those hot girls with the headphones will start recognizing that you own this place and you're quite a catch. Before long, they will start placing themselves in your way, taking their headphones off and trying to start conversations.

Seriously. This works. I work out at a gym on a college campus, and I am there every day, 6 days a week. I've gotten to know the staff very well, as well as some of the other regulars. Just a couple of weeks ago, I was joking around with one of the male trainers as we alternated on bench. I noticed a cute girl continually glancing my way. When I moved over to the dumbells, I put in my headphones and started doing some stuff. The cute girl and her friend came up and stood behind me. Her friend asked "What is he working? His chest?" the cute girl answered "I don't care what he's working, I just like to watch!" I smiled at her when I finished, and after I was done working out, she met me at the counter where I was turning in my jump rope and towel, and asked me if I came in a lot, and the convo escalated from there.

And that's how you do it. You go about your business and work hard. They will come to you.

I agree with this. Understanding how the gym works in terms of the sheer amounts of testosterone and how to navigate it while not making stupid AFC and desperate moves is important.

You have to stand out as a cut above the rest, and in an environment where everyone's trying to get in better shape and look great, the way you look and how you handle the gym is going to matter to her. You're on display at the gym and must play to that. It's game.

But regardless if a girl interests you, it's always better to approach and bomb than to not. Just don't think that if you're totally going to bomb other girls won't notice and look at you in a negative way thereby ruining your chances with them later. Better to use subtle game and look for IOIs if you're even considering hitting on more than one. Especially if you're going to be coming back again and again which I hope you do since it's a damn gym.

Prize yourself though and really mean it by getting in great shape. That's the attitude and aloofness you need to have there. There's too much testosterone flowing around to be overtly aggressive, at least inside of the gym. As much as she may like you a girl always cares about her rep, and inside a gym with a bunch of dudes that she happens to frequent, ASD will be a persistent factor.

 

[wjh]

The eye contact, etc. that you convey in your post is great...it really is...but, meeting a chick only as she's leaving or entering the gym...???? Why?

If you think that men should "not bother" women who wear headphones into gyms...great...that leaves less competition for me...because chances are, most of those women are hot--and hot women in gyms do not make themselves easily accessible...you have to separate yourself from the masses...be someone different...and the risk is being ridiculed...

But I've been ridiculed many times over by women...and I really don't care about being ridiculed...that's their issue, not mine. I don't fall in line too well...I'd rather take my chances and be original and be ridiculed for it...I'd rather be ridiculed than be like most guys who leave the gym and masturbate, thinking what a legend they are in their own mind...

If you're never being ridiculed by women, you're probably not making enough approaches, or, you're kissing ass and trying to be perfect for them. Not my style.

Well if you don't care that other women will judge you based on what another women will do, and ruin your chances with other women down the line, then this strategy works for you.

But I disagree. You can't just sarge as you would in a bar or club, headphones or not. Headphones are a relatively minor obstacle, as all you have to do is ask to take them off and open with some gym-related matter. Quite frankly I don't look at it as bothering, so long as you're not completely pathetic, desperate, needy, or obnoxious.

I just don't see how you have to completely crash and burn (and hence bring ridicule upon yourself), to determine if a girl is interesting, cool AND interested in you or your conversation enough to develop some rapport. Are you telling me you can't tell by conversation if a girl's digging you at all? Well, I think I can, and I've done well for myself, but my style may differ.

I look at the gym is a place to get in better shape, sure the hot girls are great and it's a great place to focus on some women who are worthy of your time, but considering that you'll have to make frequent visits and do work, why make it uncomfortable for yourself when you can do just as well with a more suave or casual approach?

 

[Gangster Of Love]

Sigh...

Ever notice that only the hottest women in your gym wear headphones?

These days, MOST women in EVERY gym wear headphones. It is the age of the iPod, iPhone, mp3's, etc. Most of the lesser attractive ones also wear them, a long with most men who are there to work out.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

Just go up to her, and start talking. She will take them off, or turn the device down, and you got 5 seconds to own the interaction.

I've said stuff like "So how's that Clay Aiken new album?"

"What's up you Kelly Clarkson lover..."

"Who's your favorite New Kid On The Block?"

Or whatever comes to your mind. What matters is not what you say first, but your first rebutal, what you say after her initial response.

If she is not distracted, in a $hitty mood, or just a plain Bitsh, she will at least respond, like any polite and normal human being would.

 

[MatureDJ]

Join the aerobics class. A friend of mine had joined one, and he was like one of 3 men (and probably the only hetero man) out of a hundred women.

One general trend that is troubling is the women's only gym, like Curves. Obviously, women are joining these types of gyms because they don't want to get hit on by men all the time.

 

[020204]

Interesting thread. The last post was particularly relevant to me. I frequent Body Pump classes at my gym and I am usually the only male there and generally the only one and top shape. I still have no idea how to pick up or whether it would be appropriate to do so. The problem is I have virtuall smorgasboard at times. I totally agree about keeping one's prizeability and treating it like it is your domain. I am going to start wearing some torso hugging shirts. I have never used the gym to get play but it shore as hell is a good way to showcase your prizeability.

 

[jophil28]

One general trend that is troubling is the women's only gym, like Curves. Obviously, women are joining these types of gyms because they don't want to get hit on by men all the time.

OR more likely that they feel vulnerable and exposed to potentially critical male gaze .

 

[Jitterbug]

Espi, would you mind posting a LR of you f-closing a gym hottie, from the first time you approached her while she was working out & wearing headphones? I'd love to learn from examples. There are a few in my gym that I want to go for.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

point is, the hottest women in the gyms are usually the most challenging to hook up with. They're not making it easy for someone to approach...so you have to display exceptional confidence if you want to approach and f-close a gym hottie. I personally view the headphones as a game...a barrier that I need to get past...so that I can win the prize.

Isn't that the case with the hottest women anywhere, not just the gym? Even without the headphones, which in my opinion, is not a real obstacle. The key is knowing what to do/say after she takes the earphones off. If you already know how to hit on hotties, the earphone obstacle is just a pre step.

 

[ChumpNoMore]

With the advent of the iPod and Earbud, as opposed to the old more bulky headphones and CD players, plus the fact that it's just nice to have your tunes...

I think women having headphones at the gym is not so much a explicit barrier to approaching, just de rigeur for the environment; they still make eye contact and some will move into proximity hoping you will open!

As mentioned, if they surely didn't want to be approached, or want male attention and ego boosts, they would be in the ladies only section.

 

[ChumpNoMore]

I have successfully broken the ice and eventually closed a couple hotties by asking them to spot me. By the same token, I have had chicks look at me like I was asking them for a kidney with the same approach.

It seems more genuine if the gym is a bit empty, but nonetheless it will be mostly their interest, IOI's, and your confidence and having fun with them that drive the result; nothing is guaranteed if you do approach; however you are guaranteed NOTHING if you do not!

 

[Duffdog]

I usually prefer affluent, older, tall, fake breasted, fit-type women

Ah ha... now I see what you were really saying. So, how does someone get the 24 yr old hottie who only wants the top .001% of men, to talk to an average guy?

I think the main problem is that women wear earbuds so that average guys don't talk to them. I'm sure they won't mind if a super attractive guy comes and talks to them (they probably dream about it all the time), but super attractive guys at the gym already have tons of females everywhere. So, that leaves the average guys at the gym...which she doesn't want talking to her under any circumstances. I get the feeling that the only reason anything you are saying works for you is because the females pre-qualified you before you got there and were open to your advances simply because of how you look.

I'm sorry, but I usually see little dweeb type dudes get shot down daily at my gym by the mega hotties. I just don't see the females even giving them the slightest chance...

 

[mrRuckus]

One general trend that is troubling is the women's only gym, like Curves. Obviously, women are joining these types of gyms because they don't want to get hit on by men all the time.

Do attractive women go to these places in any significant numbers? I think they are for fat women who are just too embarrassed to be seen jiggling about a regular gym. I often see attractive girls in form fitting attire that they KNOW is attracting men. They have no reason not to be wearing tshirts and shorts like the men, but instead they're wearing spandex and stuff like that. Then they're gonna complain about getting hit on? That's like waving your wallet over your head in Harlem and then whining when you get mugged (i forget where i heard that before)

Besides, who cares if you're bothering a girl in the gym? Oh such huge problems... men won't stop coming on to me! This is like those poor, poor millionaire athletes that whine about people asking for autographs. Tiny violins...

If she likes you, then you're not bothering her. Assume the sale, so why would a dj think he's bothering her? It's just like sexual harassment. It's not harassment if she thinks you're cute. Only if you're ugly.

 

[Werman]

So be feminine and wait for women to be masculine and approach?

No thanks.

Is it really feminine to go to the gym and get a good work out in?

The guy I was working out with is a personal trainer who works there. He is there 6-8 hours a day, 5 days a week. Since this particular girl is a pom girl, she works out a lot, and sees this guy a lot. It turns out, they know each other through his fiancee. Right there, just seeing me joking around with him in the gym is nice social proofing. Kinda like knowing the bartender or bouncer at a club.

Combining the social proofing which led her to ask her friends about me with the fact that I didn't immediately sarge her at the first sign of interest went a long ways in showing her that I am not like every other guy hitting on the spandex-clad beauty that shakes her a$$ on the treadmill. It made me the prize in her eyes and placed the impetus on her to make herself more available to me, not less available, which is what she does to the scores of guys who sarge her on a daily basis in the gym. Yes, girls love to dress provocatively and get hit on because they all have a bit of attention hor in them, but from my personal experience, 9 times out of 10 this is a dead end and a waste of time. I've found that cold approaching in this manner is a lot like buying the latest video game system on e-bay a week after it comes out. The moment you hit on them, their personal estimation of their own worth goes through the roof, and you wind up just feeding their ego.

Not that sarging doesn't have its place, and I do do it from time to time. I'll just take investing in myself and letting them make their interest known over the cold approach any day. And no, I don't think this is feminine.

This thread is a real eye opener to me...a lot of guys are advocating taking the easy way out by insisting that you smile and wait around for her to approach you...or you wait on her until she leaves the gym to talk...seems lots of guys have these ideas that the hot women in gyms are suddenly going to approach you once they realize that you're buff ...not gonna happen.

Interesting that it's "not gonna happen" since I hung out with her again on Saturday and took her back to my place afterwards

But you're right, it's not just about being buff. It's about social proofing and demonstrating my high status by not responding to her initial very transparent sign of interest, which is something she is not used to.

 

[Phoenix]

Women with headphones shouldn't be interrupted. If you want to meet women in a gym get into group fitness and attack them during breaks.

Having said that... women are stunned by guys with the balls to interrupt them, they never hesitate to pause that iPod, you had better have something worthwhile to say though. You really have to develop some acuity towards who will receive you well and who won't though, on the super rare occasion a woman will bust you for being rude. I'm a group fitness instructor/personal trainer. I've cultivated ways for women to find reasons to approach me. Everything about me is pretty much stealing the womans game, mirroring her game and completely disarming her by attacking her with her own weapons.

Gyms are super *****y places, male members are talked about ALOT. There are a couple of boys who have no chance at my gym because they came on way to strong with some of the members and the members talk.

 

[trent81]

I found that this works the best; Just hope you see the woman from the gym somewhere else. Once you see her, anywhere, as long as she's not with a man, talk to her. "Hey, you go to my gym, I see you all the time. What's your name?". I think that this is the only way, unless of course she looks and smiles at you.

 

[Duffdog]

I found that this works the best; Just hope you see the woman from the gym somewhere else. Once you see her, anywhere, as long as she's not with a man, talk to her. "Hey, you go to my gym, I see you all the time. What's your name?". I think that this is the only way, unless of course she looks and smiles at you.

People have wasted their entire lives "just hoping" that someone falls into their lap...that is what we call a wasted life.

I honestly don't like hitting on girls at the gym, its not comfortable for me and I don't feel that the girls are there for that reason. Plus I think it just looks cheesy. I choose to talk to girls when I am out for social events and when I am in clubs-- those places are filled with girls waiting for guys to get at them. It is a bit strange to see the girls walk over to the male side of the gym and just slowly go through the motions on a machine so that they can look at the guys sweat, but those chics aren't usually the best looking.

 

[The Muscle Guy]

Eye contact!

If a woman looks at you with favorable eye contact, she is attracted to you.

Women are not that much different from us.

If we see a hot woman, what do we do?

We look at her!