How Do You Talk To Women At A Gym With Headphones On?

Hedonos

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Need help with this one. If you see a pretty girl at the gym, how do you talk to her if she has her headphones on? You could go over to her and tap her on her shoulder but what could you say? If you guys have any ideas please let me know.

Just another AFC
 

decades

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point to her headphones and make a motion for her to take them off. When she does, ask her what she is listening to.
 

taiyuu_otoko

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try reading her lips if she's singing along, and then match her head if she's bopping to the beat and sing along with her. When you discover you were totally wrong, she'll laugh and you can go from there.

Or an even easier thing to do would be find a girl without headphones and talk to her.
 

romangod

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Hedonos said:

Need help with this one. If you see a pretty girl at the gym, how do you talk to her if she has her headphones on? You could go over to her and tap her on her shoulder but what could you say? If you guys have any ideas please let me know.

Just another AFC

I usually use sign language.



Cheers!
 

Men frequently err by talking too much. They often monopolize conversations, droning on and on about topics that bore women to tears. They think they're impressing the women when, in reality, they're depressing the women.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

squirrels

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Spend your time at the gym actually working out.

As you get buff, women will make it easier for you to talk to them everywhere.
 

Warrior74

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squirrels said:
Spend your time at the gym actually working out.

As you get buff, women will make it easier for you to talk to them everywhere.
This.

Best in Thread.


They don't want to be bothered. The most you can really do is make eye contact and smile, if she smiles back, wave. Then talk to her the next time she's coming in or out of the gym. Go and meet other women, don't wait for an opportunity with this one.
 

speed dawg

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I'd say if she has headphones on, she's not in the mindframe that she wants to be approached. Find less threatening places where women are more open to it. Or find a girl who is open to being approached in a gym.

If I'm going to find a girl to hit on in a gym, it's not going to be the girl who doesn't look at me, has her face buried in a magazine on a treadmill, with headphones on. I mean, lots of girls look good, and that's basically all you know about this one. Find one without headphones.

And what Squirrels said.
 

Werman

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Don't hit on girls at the gym. Get them to hit on you.

By their very nature, gyms are more masculine than feminine. Working out, getting pumped, getting the testosterone flowing, those things are all associated with men rather than women. Go in there with the mindset that this is your world, not hers, and you are going to take charge of it. Work out, and work out HARD. Don't waste your time hitting on some chick. When you work out hard, people will start seeing your results, and you'll probably get other guys to start asking you for spots, asking you about your program, etc. Befriend these guys. Joke around with them. Have fun.

Those hot girls with the headphones will start recognizing that you own this place and you're quite a catch. Before long, they will start placing themselves in your way, taking their headphones off and trying to start conversations.

Seriously. This works. I work out at a gym on a college campus, and I am there every day, 6 days a week. I've gotten to know the staff very well, as well as some of the other regulars. Just a couple of weeks ago, I was joking around with one of the male trainers as we alternated on bench. I noticed a cute girl continually glancing my way. When I moved over to the dumbells, I put in my headphones and started doing some stuff. The cute girl and her friend came up and stood behind me. Her friend asked "What is he working? His chest?" the cute girl answered "I don't care what he's working, I just like to watch!" I smiled at her when I finished, and after I was done working out, she met me at the counter where I was turning in my jump rope and towel, and asked me if I came in a lot, and the convo escalated from there.

And that's how you do it. You go about your business and work hard. They will come to you.
 

Zonder

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Warrior74 said:
This.

Best in Thread.


They don't want to be bothered. The most you can really do is make eye contact and smile, if she smiles back, wave. Then talk to her the next time she's coming in or out of the gym. Go and meet other women, don't wait for an opportunity with this one.
I agree. If you make eye contact and she likes you she'll make herself available. You don't need to talk to a woman for 10 minutes for her to figure out you're hitting on her. If she doesn't make it easy for you then she just saved you a crash and burn. There is nothing you can do to make her take off her headphones and listen to your game if she's not even a little interested to begin with.

LOL @ decades and taiyuu. Why do virgins insist on giving out advice on women when they need every little bit they can lay their hands on.
 

mrRuckus

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Werman said:
And that's how you do it. You go about your business and work hard. They will come to you.
So be feminine and wait for women to be masculine and approach?

No thanks.
 

Nutz

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I got this in the email the other day from ABCs of Attraction:

First, pick a gym that has hotties. Find out when they go. You don't need to pick the most expensive place (remember, hot single girls do not tend to be rich... they tend to find the gyms with the best classes and nicest stuff that they can afford).

Preferably a slightly off-peak time. You will be doing this for results, not for reps (don't give yourself a 50 set challenge in the gym). This is all about working efficiently.

Walk in and warm-up by chatting to anyone you see on the way in. Joke with whoever is working the desk. If it's a girl, flirt your a*s off. Get social on your way in. While walking in, use your peripheral vision to scope the cardio machines on your way to the locker room. Be sly and note where the cutest girls are.

Change and come out. Dress appropriately, but a little colorful (and make sure you smell good... good time to use a cheapass scent like Axe). You don't have to be totally studly, but it helps if you have a little tan, and if your arms are in shape, go sleeveless. Look like you mean business. Walk into cardio room and find an open machine next to a cute girl. If there are none, wander around and do some other workout while waiting. You can lift, stretch, whatever.

Keep your eye on the cardio room. This is all about being opportunistic. When you see a spot open next to a cute girl, stroll up and start your workout there. The next step is critical.

Start the machine (it can be anything... bike, treadmill, whatever) and start a light workout.

Turn to the girl next to you, and lightly tap her arm while you look at her with agentle smile on your face, and motion for her to take her headphones off (she will almost always be wearing headphones, which prevents 99.999999% of the known universe of dudes from talking to her, which is what makes you such a stud for being able to do this).

Now smile. Really smile and look as friendly and normal as you can. One technical note... if she's running flat out on a treadmill, wait till she slows down. You want to be able to do this when she can converse.

Then go into your opener. It can be anything. I've used sincere (you are super-cute), pussified indirect (i'm taking a storytelling class and need some feedback), and in-between. Just make sure you get her attention soon with something interesting. I actually like to be playful, then banter and do some storytelling here, because it gives you something interesting to discuss.

Remember, working out, especially on cardio machines, is deathly, deathly dull. If you can make the time go faster by talking, she'll love you for it (why do you think women walk and jog in groups when they exercise outside?
socializing alleviates boredom for them).

Tell your story and start vibing. Get real comfortable. Use light kino where possible (a slow handshake when you get her name, light shoulder taps in stories, high fives at high points). Don't play games. Introduce yourself early. Get her name and use it in conversation. Go real basic with the small talk (where you from? do you live around here now?) and share interesting stories about yourself. If it's on at all, she will keep talking. Just make it like a chat between friends... you can game, but keep it light and friendly (i.e., don't spank her a*s while she's trying to jog).

Examples of things I say right at the start, all with big big smiles and making things sound as fun as I can. Serious will get you killed in the gym.

"is this machine taken? cool... but if anyone comes back to claim it, i'm telling 'em you said i could have it, so you better be prepared to protect me."

"this thing isn't hard to use, right? i just want to watch tv and have it look like i'm working out. my god, tell me that's not sweat, you just dumped water on yourself to look cool, right?"

"do me a favor, watch my stuff for a second? if anyone comes and takes it, run them down and kick 'em in the shins. use your kickboxing skills to protect me, and you can be my new girlfriend."

"is this tv set to espn? crap. i gotta find the one with the soap operas, or a telenovela. now that's some good fricking distraction right there... nothing but hot people hooking up with really badly behaved other hot people... girl, can't you see he's a dog?!? Not like me. I'm a perfect gentleman, and would never do things like flirt with a cute girl at the gym."

Anything, really. There's a basic structure to opening in the gym. For those of you who have taken one of those "outdated" pickup workshops , you may notice that these openers all follow the 1-2-3 structure. You get her attention, then say something that is relevant to what is going on around you, then quickly change gears to playful flirting.

Once you open this way, just start vibing. Here is the practice part. Half the time I go to the gym now, I just get this far... and then slide into some wide rapport.

Try to get in a good 20 minute conversation. If it's going well, you'll have good rapport and time will fly by (side benefit... it makes this workout way more fun). When you get to a point where you feel you've gotten comfortable and she's smiling and asking you questions, make your closing pitch. Something like I really have to go and get my real workout in... but I really like talking to you. We should hang out this week. What are you up to Tuesday?

Try to keep your day2 suggestion something very soon so she can try to answer. If she says anything other than an outright rejection, just say, Awesome. Let's get a drink Tuesday at 7 at (insert standard day2 place here). Give me your number.

Now you can show off a bit. You won't have your phone with you, and no one will have a pen and paper. So just have her tell you her number, and say "of course I'll remember. This is destined to be."

Give her a big smile, and tell her you'll send her a text later today. Then make your exit and work out for real. You want her to see that you aren't just there to pickup chicks. If I'm on a treadmill, I like to crank up the incline and speed and start running intervals. Or you can go lift. Pick something basic that you can focus on. And then... well, that's it.

The cardio approach gives you a captive audience, and once you break the headphone barrier, you have the chance to demonstrate amazing confidence, charisma, and authority. It will be very weird at first, but if you can start doing it, it will change your whole approach to daygame. I now have this planned in my daily workouts, like today I'm doing deadlifts, plyometrics, 20 minutes interval running, and 15 minutes of banter.
 

#41

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Remember, while you might have all day to spend chatting in the gym, many people have busy schedules and are budgeting time for a workout around their work and social calendars. If that's the case, bothering people who are clearly there to workout is robbing them of time to spend doing what they came to do: work out.

Unless she opens you, just leave her alone. Just IMO.
 

Nutz

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Hennessy said:
That's garbage, every last abc of it.
And you know this from experience, right?

I've been testing it out and there's a lot of merit to what they're saying. Experience > keyboard jockeying.
 

amoka

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Hedonos said:

Need help with this one. If you see a pretty girl at the gym, how do you talk to her if she has her headphones on? You could go over to her and tap her on her shoulder but what could you say? If you guys have any ideas please let me know.

Just another AFC
Just curious: you've been here for almost 8 years yet you don't know what to say to a woman at the gym?
 
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Colossus

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Hedonos said:

Need help with this one. If you see a pretty girl at the gym, how do you talk to her if she has her headphones on? You could go over to her and tap her on her shoulder but what could you say? If you guys have any ideas please let me know.

Just another AFC

You dont. Women wear headphones to avoid being hit on, mostly. If they wanted to flirt at the gym they wouldnt wear them. To me it just says "dont talk to me". They dont even make eye contact.

I have picked up girls at the gym, but this was over a period of time, seeing them everyday and chatting. Gyms are not bars.
 

ChumpNoMore

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Interesting topic.

At the gym, I get what I think are IOI's from chicks with headphones on, but usually dismssed them, figuring they would make themselves approachable...

Such as coming over to the mat to stretch near me or set up on equipment next to me, which they do - but the headphones don't come off. Might have to step it up a bit - perhaps that IS the opportunity they are creating?
 

ChumpNoMore

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I'm with you Espi. If the chicks are not seeking attention then why do they wear the latest in figure flattering gymwear, do their hair, smell good and touch up the makeup a bit? Headphones? Pushawwww, sarge on, they're just a selection tool to defeat the AFC's...
 

#41

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Espi said:
This thread is a real eye opener to me...a lot of guys are advocating taking the easy way out by insisting that you smile and wait around for her to approach you...or you wait on her until she leaves the gym to talk...seems lots of guys have these ideas that the hot women in gyms are suddenly going to approach you once they realize that you're buff ...not gonna happen.
Or they realize that (shock of shocks) there are a billion places out there to approach and meet women that don't involve interrupting them as they attempt to work out and improve their bodies.

Just because you respect a universal sign that someone wants privacy and to be left alone doesn't mean you're an AFC.

Threads like these are the reason why female-only gyms exist.
 

Just because a woman listens to you and acts interested in what you say doesn't mean she really is. She might just be acting polite, while silently wishing that the date would hurry up and end, or that you would go away... and never come back.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

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