How do you sweet talk girls without sounding like a simp or "nice" guy

[FlexpertHamilton]

Before anyone jumps the gun, I'm specifically talking about this in the context of dating/LTRs when you've already been on dates and had sex multiple times and can see potential to keep it going.

I think i've had a problem with the "comfort" area in LTRs, and probably don't pass "comfort tests" either, basically not really doing much complimenting, sweet talking, or even giving them breadcrumbs to indicate that I see them as LTR potential.

Lately I try to use more pet names like cutie baby etc and start complimenting them when they do things like putting extra effort into their appearance, compliance, agreeableness, etc. Is there such a thing as too much of this so long as they continue to act right? Or do you think it's better to keep do this more sparingly only to reinforce particularly good behaviors from the them?

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Wordlessly take them on your lap and let them cuddle in your embrace.

 

[Manure Spherian]

Before anyone jumps the gun, I'm specifically talking about this in the context of dating/LTRs when you've already been on dates and had sex multiple times and can see potential to keep it going.

I think i've had a problem with the "comfort" area in LTRs, and probably don't pass "comfort tests" either, basically not really doing much complimenting, sweet talking, or even giving them breadcrumbs to indicate that I see them as LTR potential.

Lately I try to use more pet names like cutie baby etc and start complimenting them when they do things like putting extra effort into their appearance, compliance, agreeableness, etc. Is there such a thing as too much of this so long as they continue to act right? Or do you think it's better to keep do this more sparingly only to reinforce particularly good behaviors from the them?

Pet names, compliments on appearance, and random spanks to the ass.

 

[Travel memoir21]

Its really your vibe that matters most, even when your talking to girls by text, she can detect your vibe and aura.


The solution is to grow spiritually, physically, mentally and have a lifestyle your content with and express that to the girl your interested in.


Thats why activities such as praying, no fap, meditation, yoga, lifting weights and taking your dogs out on simple walks to the park are important because these are morale - spiritually uplifting activities that enhances your life.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

Wordlessly take them on your lap and let them cuddle in your embrace.

Yup.

Another move is coming up behind her when she's standing up (prolly in the kitchen) and holding her hips/waist, or forehead kisses. A good slap on the ass never hurts either.

 

[Serenity]

If she does something I feel appreciation for I express that either through action or statement or both.

Forcing it comes from fear of loss, that if you do not compliment her enough she'll lose interest because she's not comfortable enough. Resisting it also comes from fear of loss, but in this case that showering her in compliments comes off as needy and she'll lose respect.

The problem is always the place our actions come from, not the actions themselves.

If your actions in any way come from a place of fear (of loss in this case), then you will likely lose anyways as you will come across as either closed off or disingenuous. There is a disconnect as the action is misapplied because it comes from the wrong place within you. Remember, she is looking for love, fear is the literal opposite and she will pick up on it at least eventually.

I don't do it to make her comfortable so she'll stay. I don't avoid doing it to try to manage her perception of me so she'll stay. Both of these approaches would suggest I'm not good enough for her, but I fvcking am. I do it because that's how I really feel about her and I want to share that positive feeling.

I tell my wife multiple times every single day that I think she's cute and sexy, I mean it every single time too. According to the sage wisdom of SoSuave I should have been a doormat being disrespected on the daily years ago because it's "the wrong thing to do".

Again, it was never about the actions as much as the place it's coming from. Besides, what the fvck is wrong with them if they hate affection? That's not normal and to me indicative of psychological issues. I'd want to filter these women out sooner rather than later, that's unattractive in and of itself if you ask me...

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Barry White voice OP

related

 

[BaronOfHair]

By getting past the urge to "sweet talk", and cultivating the sort of personality that men respect and the ladies go gaga for

An appreciation: Teddy Pendergrass, R&B's smooth, sensual stylist

An appreciation: Teddy Pendergrass, R&B's smooth, sensual stylist

www.latimes.com

"With his bearded, gruff machismo, Pendergrass epitomized the 1970s suave black playboy, a Hugh Hefner of sorts. Swooning women would dub him “Teddy Bear,” and what was implied was that he was both a respectable gentleman with the lights on and a respectable freak with the lights off"

You don't have to be a pop star to pull this off

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Another move is coming up behind her when she's standing up (prolly in the kitchen) and holding her hips/waist, or forehead kisses. A good slap on the ass never hurts either.

Most of the women I date like to feel 'captured' so I do approach them from behind, hold their arms tightly between our bodies with one arm free to bend back her head and bite her neck.
I think that spontaneous cuddling says more to women about your appreciation than telling them in words.

 

[The Duke]

I'm pretty successful in this area:
-I frequently come behind and grab her boobs and ask her where she got them.
-When she bends over I say "ohh yeah hold that pose". I need a picture.
-I always come up with cute/unique nicknames that fit their personality. Sunshine, Piquito(little),
-When her butt looks good in a pair of jeans ask her if that brand is paying her to model them.
-if she cooks good, tell her she must have got her cooking skills from her grandma. Tell her two hours later how great her food was.
-When I go to patio bars with my girl I whisper in her ear and ask if her she knew she was the hottest girl there and then squeeze her pu$$y.
-call her up randomly just to tell her something you thought she needed to know. They like feeling like you can be open and express yourself to them.
-Bite her neck and make playful tiger sounds. She'll smile.
-Always cuddle after you fuhk her brains out and use her body like your private slut.

 

[Glassguy]

Seduction. Playfulness. Those things shouldn't stop.
Example- just a quick random texting sequence spontaneous during the day:

Me: You'd better stop doing that
Her: Oh yeah? What exactly?
Me: Thinking about me bending you over last night. See you Wednesday evening at 8. Wear a skimpy dress

Just stuff like that. Quick and easy. Keep the momentum going in a playful way without sending paragraphs or chit chatting over text all day

 

[jhonny9546]

I'm pretty successful in this area:
-I frequently come behind and grab her boobs and ask her where she got them.
-When she bends over I say "ohh yeah hold that pose". I need a picture.
-I always come up with cute/unique nicknames that fit their personality. Sunshine, Piquito(little),
-When her butt looks good in a pair of jeans ask her if that brand is paying her to model them.
-if she cooks good, tell her she must have got her cooking skills from her grandma. Tell her two hours later how great her food was.
-When I go to patio bars with my girl I whisper in her ear and ask if her she knew she was the hottest girl there and then squeeze her pu$$y.
-call her up randomly just to tell her something you thought she needed to know. They like feeling like you can be open and express yourself to them.
-Bite her neck and make playful tiger sounds. She'll smile.
-Always cuddle after you fuhk her brains out and use her body like your private slut.

Good list!
Now, this would be interesting, to make a list for those given situations, but the woman it's engaged and it's seeking for another man, so you would use those as "approach" or "to let her know you are interested too".

I would do a few, but I need you guys to fill the rest:
-I come behind and touch her on her arm or touch her hair
-When she bends over I say "Do you need any help?" while watching her B.
-I always come up with cute/unique nicknames that fit their personality. Sunshine, Piquito (This can be nice)
-if she cooks good, tell her she must have got her cooking skills from her grandma. Tell her two hours later how great her food was. (This, if she cook something for you)
-call her up randomly just to tell her something you thought she needed to know. They like feeling like you can be open and express yourself to them. (This is good)

 

[FlirtLife]

I think i've had a problem with the "comfort" area in LTRs, and probably don't pass "comfort tests" either, basically not really doing much complimenting, sweet talking, or even giving them breadcrumbs to indicate that I see them as LTR potential.

If you watch a season of "Love is Blind", you will see a lot of men being emotionally vulnerable. Perhaps too much? But that makes it all the better for learning. Rollo's take, as I recall it, was to provide women a rare display of emotions - of vulnerability. Showing her something nobody else gets to see, but rarely enough that it is a treat.

 

[jhonny9546]

From this article

Why We Put Ourselves Last & Why Self-Care Should Be a Priority

A lot of people think self-care is selfish. Here are some other common misconceptions and why it should be our top priority to take good care of ourselves.

tinybuddha.com

"We don’t realize we teach people how to treat us.
We teach people how to treat us by our own actions and attitude toward ourselves. By putting signs out there that you are a rescuer and will sacrifice yourself to help others, you attract the sort of people who want to be rescued and for whom it has to be all about them—not a balanced relationship."
This is completely true. For nice guys who want to improve, it's important to maintain kindness without being a doormat. Stay calm, but recognize when someone is trying to take advantage of you and stand your ground. The hardest part of changing as a nice guy is developing a backbone without intentionally hurting others. It's crucial to express that you're not okay with someone's behavior. I've seen friends go from nice to rude while still feeling immature inside. Nice guys have the strength to become better people, but we need good role models and guidance to help us along the way.