How do you stopping be mean if rejected?

[dmvmang]

I don't know this is one flaw of myself. I'm glad I didn't get involved with my coworker. She was throwing me mixed signals.

I was angry today with the mixed signals or whatever. Today she gave me the fake wave like everything was okay. Went to the front desk and I never looked at her. When she waved, I just turned away. Anyway, she went out with one of my coworkers who doesn't look handsome as me. I said to myself you can go to lunch with him, but not me." Then **** you. If I get mad I will hold a grudge or I will pretend you don't exist. I did that today. I was looking for some advice about this. Thx

 

[Cremasta]

I was angry today with the mixed signals or whatever.

This is your problem. Your anger theshold is way too low.

 

[CrispyG]

What are you doing? Don't waste your time getting mad because some girl doesn't want to get with you. Maybe she went out with your coworker because you seem insecure and butthurt. Being more handsome means nothing if you have no backbone, no charisma.

You don't need to worry about her. Smile. Be happy. Live well -it is the best 'revenge'. She's gonna wonder about why you're so cool about it. It means you don't need her. If you walk around getting mad and holding a grudge, you're going to look like a really insecure guy with oneitis.

You will get rejected all the time. You better get used to it. You better get used to approaching girls, having them recieve you poorly - or well, and then have them flake out on you for some random reason. This is all part of the process. You don't care, you're you -- an individual, the man - you live your own life filled with your own passions and interests, and if somebody comes along that fits within that, then fine. If not, who cares?

Focus on what you can control. What you put inside your body. What you do with your body - ie working out, becoming fit, strong, both in the body and the mind. Relax. Make new friends. So a girl doesn't want anything serious with you - so what? Maybe she'll hook you up with a friend if you're not so uptight about the whole thing. One of the best ways to meet women is through other women. That works so well I can't even describe how well it works.

Don't be mean. You have a lot of work ahead of you. Start from the top. If you're getting pissed at something simple like this I don't even want to know what you'd be like if she cheated on you or something like that. I can't even remember the last time I let somebody else get me angry. You just need to relax and work seriously on yourself.

 

[Dalshtröm]

So did you manage to successfully 'pretend' that she does not exist? The very effort made you think about her all the time. The whole time, you were constantly conscious of her. That is not an ignorance. Be honest to yourself, you can never lie anybody except yourself.

What is the point of getting angry? She is just a woman. And most propably it was a shiit test, conscious or not, she was testing your value, and it seems that you need her very much, otherwise there would be no question of anger arising.

Holding judge and pretending bit to exist is contradictory. Ignoring her means that you she is no longer important in your life and holding grudge means the complete opposite;She is very much important. So if you don't like her, then you don't. There is no question about liking her or not liking her. If you don't like Eric, then you cannot hold grudge against her - she doesn't even exist!

What you are saying is absurd and even more mixing, contradicting than herself. I see you are new here, so stay here a little bit longer andi can promise you, out of my own experience, you will come to a real insight of life. Somebody did that in just 13 days! He became alpha from a lost person in just 13 days. You can too.

 

[TheCWord]

A girl at my work was giving me mixed signals and while I kept pushing for the date, she finally confessed to her mixed signals and said we can't be going out. No explanation as to if it's a boyfriend situation, a not dating co-workers situation - would be easy for me to be angry.

I'm not. We pass each other by all the time and we smile, chat, and eye f-ck the s-it out of each other. It's still fun, the only difference is I don't pursue her whatsoever - and you can tell it drives her up the wall.

All of that could very well lead to a bang one day. If I got angry and started looking the other way when she looked at me, do you think it'd be a possibility? No way, jose.

 

[Uncharted]

A girl at my work was giving me mixed signals and while I kept pushing for the date, she finally confessed to her mixed signals and said we can't be going out. No explanation as to if it's a boyfriend situation, a not dating co-workers situation - would be easy for me to be angry.

I'm not. We pass each other by all the time and we smile, chat, and eye f-ck the s-it out of each other. It's still fun, the only difference is I don't pursue her whatsoever - and you can tell it drives her up the wall.

All of that could very well lead to a bang one day. If I got angry and started looking the other way when she looked at me, do you think it'd be a possibility? No way, jose.

I did the same thing with a coworker before I came to this site, but she had a boyfriend. I met another girl the same day (a few hours later) so little did I know that ignoring her was the right thing to do. I basically had lost interest so I just didn't talk to her and when I saw her I treated her like anyone else. Now she still flirts and holds eye contact. Knowing what I know now, I would not date a coworker though.

 

[dmvdav]

wow your username is way too similar to mine.

you have to act unfazed when a girl "chooses" someone else.
you have to either, respect their game, or laugh at her for picking someone so dumb.

but either way, you can't take it personally.
the only person you could be mad at is yourself.

 

[The_411]

Think of it this way

natural indifference = making her upset
anger = you're upset and she's happy because she's able to affect you.

The one thing in this world that women hate is indifference. They want attention and they want to be noticed.

 

[Dust 2 Dust]

There is no rejection only women with bad taste. I laugh it off and move on. Wanna know what happened when I got rejected by my oneitis? I gave her a big smile after getting shot down and I walked away snickering. Don't waste your time with women who send out mixed signals. A premature nexting will always be better than begging for a date.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Anger is a useful emotion, as it spurs us to action when we're getting attacked by a bee, or some dude is in our face.

But when a girl disses you, anger will only make the situation worse.

Consider learning how to "out frame"

Whenever a girl doesn't act in a way you think she should, quickly mentally pull back and look at the "bigger picture"

Like imagine you're walking up to the counter at Mcdonalds and right when you get there, they close. You could get angry, but you'd look like a douche.

Instead, just step back and look for another open register. Quickly move your focus away from what you're not going to get, and focus on what you may get.

 

[zorg198]

Let me give you the same advice I got here , mixed signals Hu? A girl who likes you won't do that. When a woman wants you mixed signals is out of question.

Move on!

Joe.

 

[zinc4]

i have this same situation with a co-worker right now...but she flaked on me the day of the date..and yes, i completely ignore her and avoid eye contact although she started the avoiding eye contact crap first right after it happened..at first it was no big deal for me but when she started purposely looking away from me after i was very nice and courteous toward her, then yeah, that pissed me off a little because it made an awkward situation at work over what was relatively a no big deal type of thing, so now i just don't feel like she is even worth looking at or acknowledging in any form or fashion....