How DO you PLAYAS ...create an emotional connection / a feeling of romance???

[toot86]

Because the ability to create an emotional connection / a feeling of romance is one of the most important things that seperates us from her "friends" to a hot girl.. How do you guys do it.. Not including Kino,



i wonder how pook does it..

 

[Shiftkey]

Intense eye contact during deep conversation. Or just a good fvck.

 

[Ashlee Angel]

What shiftkey said


One of my good traits I have is being a charmer when I feel like it.

I will focus on them and make girls let go. I make them feel like the are the most importaint thing in the world.

When I am playing the role of charmer I never complain or nag. I set out to make the woman have fun and forget about anything that's giving her stress. I want to be a source of pleasure. I try to be a fantasy figure.

I also tell them personal thing or two so they feel tell me something personal about them. I also look for similarties. Like religon, month you were born in, what hand you right with. Anything that we can bond with.

 

[toot86]

ok

So being a charmer will seperate you from her boring "guy friends" and make it something a b/f does


Because other then ****ing what seperates a "guy friend" to a boyfriend

that I can INCORPORATE Into conversations


because is doing the wild thing and kissing the only thing that sperates us from a guyfriend can we connect through some other way as a lover or b/f other then what the guy friend has...

--------------Guy Friends --- BOYFRIENDS
EC -------------Yes -------Yes
Compliment Yes ------ Yes

Kino -----------Yes --------Yes

Conversation ---Yes --------Yes

****ing /Kissing --- No -------Yes



is THAT THE ONLY THING THAT SEPERATES US FROM THE GIRLS GUY FRIENDS ...****ing


How can i act like a boyfriend instead of a guy friend in a more efficient manner that doesnt involve ****ing and kissing

 

[xblitz44x]

Dude that shyt goes on in her head entirely. Your actions won't change that. If she is into you on a romantic level all you have to do is set up those circumstances and the 'connection' will take care of itself. You don't 'create it'. If you think you did, think again....it was ALREADY there.

Take a girl out, open her doors, help her with her coat, pay attention when she talks, be polite. If you're feeling the connection and you happen to stumble upon a similarity, tell her that you think it's in your destiny to marry her. Make a game of it. Fake propose to her. Say whatever you want. The emotional connection happens completely unconsciously. We can't manipulate it. Just ride it out.

-Blitz

 

[The Bad Ass Canadian]

Oh No......

Not YOU again.

 

[toot86]

Originally posted by xblitz44x
Dude that shyt goes on in her head entirely. Your actions won't change that. If she is into you on a romantic level all you have to do is set up those circumstances and the 'connection' will take care of itself. You don't 'create it'. If you think you did, think again....it was ALREADY there.

Take a girl out, open her doors, help her with her coat, pay attention when she talks, be polite. If you're feeling the connection and you happen to stumble upon a similarity, tell her that you think it's in your destiny to marry her. Make a game of it. Fake propose to her. Say whatever you want. The emotional connection happens completely unconsciously. We can't manipulate it. Just ride it out.

-Blitz

so your saying its just Animal INSTINCT like if to people have that sexual vibe going on... But how do the chubby uglys do it .. they must do something different to be placed in the LOVER GROUP

and not the FRIENDS GROUP

 

[REDblueOI]

Try and feel the connection yourself first... even if you fake it. Once you're feeling it just project it onto her. People naturally miror people they are interested in. Get her attracted to you and act like you have this incredible connection, she'll feel it to.

 

[Ofus]

To encourage a woman to think about you romantically, you can do things like: use strong (75%+) eye contact, be playful and flirt with her, kino her, and try to lead the conversation so that she is talking about romantic feelings.

 

[Starman]

Blitz..Im curious..Ive been on this site for about 6 months and have noticed your posts turn from the DJ route..to somewhat of a straightforward, gameless , not beating around the bush type of attitude.

Ask the girl to marry you??? Open doors for her? WHy not just go to the first date with an engagement ring?

Out of curiosity how old are you?

It seems like some Older DJ's here get sick of the game playing .. and just revert to 1950's style of trying to attract women.

 

[xblitz44x]

Hey Starman,

I'm 21 years old. Lets get a couple things straight. I've ALWAYS said to open doors, help her with her coat, push in her chair, walk on the outside of the street etc. That's just something that, to me, seperates you from the other 'less mature' guy who doesnt know any better. I open car doors for my mother, the older ladies at work that I take to lunch, my aunts, any woman. That's just something I was always taught to do, or my mom would slap the shyt out of me : )

When I was in Las Vegas last week. I met a girl by the pool. She was laying on a chair, tanning, with 2 of her friends. All that I said to her was "Hi, how old are you?". She answered "19". I said "Oh ok". Then I laid there, and she asked me how old I was. I continued the conversation from there. I didn't "DJ" her. I just had a conversation. I busted on her a little bit but that's just because I said whatever I wanted to say. Not because you guys here told me to say it. When my friend and I was leaving I said "Well lets hang out tonight if you're going to be around, maybe you can meet us in the lobby or something". And she voluntarily gave me her phone number.

I called her at about 10:00 and got her voicemail. I left a message. She called me back at 2: 00am. We met her and her friends down at the lobby. I was excited to see her so I gave her a HUGE hug and picked her up and spun her around. That set the tempo. We were holding hands, and hugging.

We then sat down at Denny's, and I said to her while she was in mid-sentence "Lets get married, tomorrow". She said "Okay!" in an excited voice. You could tell she knew I was teasing but she playing along. So I talked about the wedding, and our honeymoon, and that I have to propose. So we were walking down the strip and we passed by the volcano show in front of The Mirage. I got down on one knee and proposed to her. Her friends took pictures. I was having fun. I didn't care whether she was into me or not, I just did whatever. And was having a ball.

We hit it off very well the entire vacation. She lives in Cali which is across the country but we talk on the phone and e-mail. She had an amazing time and is worried because she caught so many feelings.

The moral to this story is that if I TRIED to "DJ" her I could have ONLY fvcked it up. Instead I was real, I did whatever I wanted, said what I wanted and just enjoyed myself and her company. SHE was into me from the beginning. I didn't follow any rules and she STILL felt the way she did for me. It's not the tactics and you physical behavior guys, it's who YOU are inside. The more real you are with yourself, the more you can evolve yourself NATURALLY, and not through superficial means like some things on this site.

I might post this in the tips section because I'd like people to read this and see that when a chick is into you, and you're real with her...it's going to work out for the best.

-Blitz

 

[Ofus]

Originally posted by xblitz44x
I've ALWAYS said to open doors, help her with her coat, push in her chair, walk on the outside of the street etc. That's just something that, to me, seperates you from the other 'less mature' guy who doesnt know any better. I open car doors for my mother, the older ladies at work that I take to lunch, my aunts, any woman. That's just something I was always taught to do, or my mom would slap the shyt out of me : )

Chivalry does not make a guy any more or less mature. How does chivalry benefit a man? It is like voluntarily placing higher value on a woman than on oneself simply because of her sex. Opening doors for a mother or an old woman is one thing, but for ALL women, that is something else. But overall, it isn't right or wrong, just a personal decision.

The moral to this story is that if I TRIED to "DJ" her I could have ONLY fvcked it up.

Oh, but you DID "DJ" her! You may not have been actively trying to, but you did nonetheless.

I met a girl by the pool. She was laying on a chair, tanning, with 2 of her friends. All that I said to her was "Hi, how old are you?". She answered "19". I said "Oh ok". Then I laid there, and she asked me how old I was. I continued the conversation from there.

confidence, indifference

I busted on her a little bit but that's just because I said whatever I wanted to say.

****y + funny

When my friend and I was leaving I said "Well lets hang out tonight if you're going to be around, maybe you can meet us in the lobby or something". And she voluntarily gave me her phone number.

"closing the sale"

I was excited to see her so I gave her a HUGE hug and picked her up and spun her around. That set the tempo. We were holding hands, and hugging.

kino

SHE was into me from the beginning. I didn't follow any rules and she STILL felt the way she did for me. It's not the tactics and you physical behavior guys, it's who YOU are inside.

You're right; women know if they are or are not attracted to a guy when they first meet him. However, it is NOT who you are on the inside that initially attracts them. There is no way that a girl who you just met can know you inside and out. Your behavior and your looks go a long way towards initial sexual attraction.

The "DJ tactics" are not meant to create interest. They are useful for weeding out women with no or low interest, and for keeping interested women interested and getting them horny.

You seem to have the view that someone who acts like a "DJ" is being superficial, fake, or manipulative. This is not true. A man does not reduce himself by waiting a few days to call, nor does he manipulate a woman by touching her.

 

[xblitz44x]

"Opening doors for a mother or an old woman is one thing, but for ALL women, that is something else."

Now to me THAT is seperating a 'hot chick' from any other women. I treat all women with the same respect. By changing your behavior you are THEN placing her above you because of her pvssy.

"Oh, but you DID "DJ" her! You may not have been actively trying to, but you did nonetheless."

There were no rules. I didn't tell myself that I need to do this or that. I was being real. Everything happens naturally. I enjoyed myself by not limiting myself to anything. It's true that I may have been confident, and applied kino, but I was just having fun. I did whatever I wanted. She was attracted to me whether or NOT I did those things. I just 'unconsciously' set up a circumstance where we could take advantage of that attraction. The 'kino' I did wouldn't have made a difference. She was into me. Period.

"However, it is NOT who you are on the inside that initially attracts them. There is no way that a girl who you just met can know you inside and out."

I agree. It IS a lot of how you look. I don't want to get into the dynamics of attraction because I'll be here all night, but I'll summerize. There IS no way that a girl can know you inside and out. BUT, when you are attractive, what is happening is she is attaching all kinds of (in this case positive) perceptions about you. Without even realizing it!

It's just like if you were to imagine...hmmmm...say Britney Spears. You don't know her...at all. All that you know is that she sings. But you are attracted to her. And if you look deep inside you'll see these perceptions that you have of her. She probably is so innocent, she probably fvcks good in bed, she is probably so confident, she must smell so good. These are alllll perceptions. And an ugly girl, the ugliest beast you can imagine "She probably stinks, she probably curses a lot, she probably has a nasty voice"....again, perceptions. You can't stop them. IN fact you don't even know they are there!

When a girl "becomes cold" all of a sudden it's usually because she had perceptions of you, and when she saw the REAL you for who you were, you become 'mortalized' and the attracted fizzled. Pretty interesting stuff.

" You seem to have the view that someone who acts like a "DJ" is being superficial, fake, or manipulative. This is not true. A man does not reduce himself by waiting a few days to call, nor does he manipulate a woman by touching her."

Read your first sentence again. By 'acting' anything you are being fake. All I'm saying is to stop acting! Be real. Do what you want, want you want, because you want. The chick is going to like you regardless! I'm trying to free you guys from rules. It's a good thing but people get so threatened because it feels like they are losing "control".

You're right, a man doesn't reduce himself when he waits to call...but so long as he calls when he feels like it, she will like him JUST as much. He calls when he feels like it.

-Blitz

 

[Ofus]

I agree with you that the DJ rules should not always be followed, they are only guidelines for what to do. They can be bent or broken depending on the situation.

Originally posted by xblitz44x
"Opening doors for a mother or an old woman is one thing, but for ALL women, that is something else."

Now to me THAT is seperating a 'hot chick' from any other women. I treat all women with the same respect. By changing your behavior you are THEN placing her above you because of her pvssy.

I agree. Opening doors or not opening doors based on sexual attractiveness is not a good idea. That is why I hold doors for old ladies, old men, handicapped people etc. I have a reason to open doors for these people. I don't have a reason to open doors based on a person's sex.

" You seem to have the view that someone who acts like a "DJ" is being superficial, fake, or manipulative. This is not true. A man does not reduce himself by waiting a few days to call, nor does he manipulate a woman by touching her."

Read your first sentence again. By 'acting' anything you are being fake. All I'm saying is to stop acting! Be real. Do what you want, want you want, because you want. The chick is going to like you regardless! I'm trying to free you guys from rules. It's a good thing but people get so threatened because it feels like they are losing "control".

You're right, a man doesn't reduce himself when he waits to call...but so long as he calls when he feels like it, she will like him JUST as much. He calls when he feels like it.

-Blitz

All people "act" in different ways all of the time. We change the way we act according to the situation we are in, and according to our own estimate of the most beneficial way we can act in that given situation.

No given set of actions is any more real or fake than another set of actions. A person does not become real or fake by changing their actions depending on a situation.

 

[Deep Dish]

toot86:
I wonder how Pook does it.

He does nothing.

 

[Mizer]

I was having fun. I didn't care whether she was into me or not, I just did whatever. And was having a ball.

Now that is my philosophy. More than any thing, dating and interacting with women should be fun, not something that should make you nervous and uncomfortable. Of course it is always good to keep some rules in mind such as kino and assertiveness but I would approach it with a fun and carefree attitude.

I like to think of it like fishing for sport. A lot of fisherman throw some fish back into the water after catching them. They don't have to eat every one they hook. Sometime they just want to enjoy themselves fishing even though they have a freezer full of fish. I believe that when you place too much emphasis on actually applying the rules and closing the deal, DJing becomes more like a job and who wants to take on an extra job?

The chips just seem to fall into place more often when you place the most emphasis on enjoying yourself.

Good going, Blitz!

Mizer

 

[matius]

Blitz- What hotel were you at? I was at the Rio.

 

[chancer]

it's who YOU are inside. The more real you are with yourself, the more you can evolve yourself NATURALLY

You know... I'm not so sure about the it's who you are inside bull****, but i do think people evolve naturally. And that's by getting the experience. If anything at all, this site has given me a kick in the ass. I've learned MOST from experience, not rules. Maybe the "who you are inside" works for you, but it doesn't mean it's going to work for others.

And i love how Ofus broke your story down into the DJ guidelines we often see... that was cool

 

[DJ Girevik]

What I get out of the story and Ofus' breakdown is this: The DJ basics (like what Ofus listed) should be developed and integrated into your personality as you become more comfortable with them. From then on, when you "be yourself", you become a natural DJ due to the integration and DJ "comfort zone" in your personality, as opposed to bending over backwards to follow a bunch of rules.

Depending on how integrated the DJ traits are into your personality, the phrase 'Be yourself' can be a dream or a nightmare. Nightmare for an AFC, a dream for a DJ.