How do you make and keep friends?

[stallion]

Ok, I know this is a strange question since everybody seems to have more problems djing with girls but I recently realized that I'm having more and more time to myself that its become a serious issue.


Its so true that when you go out and try, you will start to increase your skills in talking to girls, dating them, and turning them into your gf. Last summer, I did exactly this and succeeded in dating 3 girls in the period of 1 month whereas before, I never did get that chance before. All because I went out and tried the principles of the DJ bible. Sure, I got rejected along the way but eventually one of the girl clicked and we went out. Unfortunately, I ran into an age issue and parents issue that I had to break up with her. After dramas, I still managed to keep her as a friend. Actually, I LJBFed her


To get to my point, I began to focus on many other things that my other friends started to drift away from me. Some of them had gf and didnt want to go out, some of them are content with their small group of friend and enjoyed doing activities that I wasn't too interested but I managed to take myself to tag along with them.

Now, the problem is that while hanging out with them, I find myself unable to join my friend's conversation all the time. They loved talking about hockey, basketball, and hot topics in Taiwan which I have no interest. They know about my preference so they pretty much leave me out of it all the time. *by the way, I'm an international student so I'm not too fluent in chinese". So I'm always quiet around them.

Eventually, they started to leave me out from their activities. FIne, I guess I can go out and find new friends but its easier said than done.

I'm sure all of you have more problems finding girl and keeping them than having friends but I'm pretty desperate about finding at least one, two guy buddies to hang out with consistently.

I did used to have a group of friends but after moving to a new college, I had to start from scratch. The few friends I made here have drifted away so I'm back to square one.

So, what should I do? Start DJing guys? I'm definitely straight but before girls, I need bros to hang out with in my vicinity.

 

[AlwaysExcel]

What do you like to do? Go do it and start talking to folks who are doing the same things. Common interests are the best foundation for friendships.

 

[true|hockey]

playing sports is the easiest way to meet friends, guys or girls depending on the sport. In fact, I should consider taking up a sport like basketball which more women play

 

[Goku]

yea, i have the problem too. it seems that it is easy approaching, but difficult to keep in contact
for example, in my lectures, i've talked to numerous amounts of students; i try to find them the day after, no sign of them.

 

[stallion]

Thanks, doing sports, (basketball) sounds like a great idea.

Dang, I just caught my two "friends" driving to school together. Usually, they would call me to have me join them in the car but I guess thats it. This is really depressing...

 

[tactic]

Approach
Greeting
Humor
Their Life/Your life
Connections
Personal Informations
Close Friends
Best Friends

 

[red sky30]

Yup Same Exact sitch as you Stallion

It's a bummer, but also a blessing at the same time. When you outgrow you're "posse" of friends. It happend once when I left for college, making new ones in place of the old ones. And it seems to be happening again. Basically because of interest issues (i don't want to do drugs and sit around doing the same s hit every night anymore)

So I'm on my own like yourself. I can't give any advice because I'm pretty much alone like yourself. But i think if you have the dedication to succeed in the DJ'ing you're pulling off, you're going to be OK getting new friends.

Just hang in there...


Don't miss any oppurtunities to hang out with new people. Breaking the routine is tough, but its possible


good luck

 

[dollashort]

the most interesting thing to people is themselves.
always remember peoples names and some info about them, do this to as many ppl as you can.
always smile, keep ya head up and smile. try smiling to at least one person every hour all day, the diff it will make is amazing.
always put urself in other peoples shoes, empathise.
dont take things too seriously. it aint all that serious
never try and make people interested in you, the trick is to be interested in them! you can make more friends in 2 months by becoming interested in other people than you can make in 2 years by trying to get people to become interested in you.
also, u could smoke sum weed... but dats optional.

 

[stallion]

Field Report: haha

I saw this guy coming out of the dorm to the bus stop where I'm waiting at and struck a convo starting from asking him about his opinion with the quality of life at the dorm.

I asked him a lot of questions about himself and kept on getting a short response. Eventually, he started asking me what I study and all. The thing is, I think I only asked him specific questions. One open-ended question like "what do you think about your engineering major?" didn't do too well with him only saying, "its alright".

Dang, this sounds so gay but this is just for your entertainment and thanks to all of your advices.

I'll definitely try this with girls as well. Can't wait to find time to hit my local gym!

 

[stallion]

Originally posted by dollashort
the most interesting thing to people is themselves.
always remember peoples names and some info about them, do this to as many ppl as you can.
always smile, keep ya head up and smile. try smiling to at least one person every hour all day, the diff it will make is amazing.
always put urself in other peoples shoes, empathise.
dont take things too seriously. it aint all that serious
never try and make people interested in you, the trick is to be interested in them! you can make more friends in 2 months by becoming interested in other people than you can make in 2 years by trying to get people to become interested in you.
also, u could smoke sum weed... but dats optional.

This sounds familiar with Dale Carnegie's book on making friends but lets see how name will help. Weed is out of option as I want to keep my sanity intact.

 

[FreeStyleZ]

An easy way ive made friends is through a common interest of playing poker. At my college poker is really big and lots of people play it.. and if ur going to be playing with the same group of people every other day for like 5hrs each time, you're gonna have to start feeling a bond between them eventually.

 

[elvis aint dead yet]

while you might not share that many common interests with others, you are still in school/college and you should at least find some people with common interests.

Most people complain about this topic as they grow older into their thirties and beyond.

Most of your friends have moved away or have families. While they still are your friends, you dont' hang out with them as often, if ever.

Making new friends isn't all that hard, but in reality, most people you come into contact with as you grow older rarely will be as good of friends that you had when you were younger.

Many people just use you to get ahead at work, to borrow your tools, to babysit their kids, to vote for them in the local community and on and on.

Talk and be friends with as many people as possible, but also realize, as you become closer to middle age then a young adult, very few of these people are really your friends at all.

 

[willtmail]

Damn, how old are you Elvis? That is a really astute observation on your part. My dad says that to me all the time and he's into his 60s and seen a lot of the world.

 

[Engetsu]

Originally posted by dollashort
you can make more friends in 2 months by becoming interested in other people than you can make in 2 years by trying to get people to become interested in you.

Amen to that. I wrote this word for word in a poem a couple of months ago. Strange, eh...

 

[stallion]

Last night, I met up with a group of new people who was starting a new club on robert kiyosaki.

I did try becoming genuinely interested in them but I found out that if you know their language such as the vocabs they use, they become more receptive to you.

In the past, asking them questions about themselves seems to not work all the time. Am I missing something?? I keep on getting a bored response like "its ok, I guess" kind of response.

I think if I ask the right question that targets their interest, then they would come to life. If I meet a new person, I have to do the trial and error by firing many questions (open ended too!) to dig this out. Its also imperative that I ask without making it sound like an interrogation. Arg, anybody have any more tips on achieving this before I bore people to death when I'm digging around for their interest?

Some people immediately give valuable feedbacks, but then, a lot of people are pretty hard to crack and warm up.

For example, I talked to this freshmen guy who seems all ****y and he talked in the typical teenage language. Man, he was tough to beat. On the other hand, a girl now seems so much easier to talk to then those guys. I succeeded in getting a girl to mirror me while I talk and all but missed my chance to get her phone # thanks to my unloyal friends running up to me because I always drive to school on that particular day.

That day, they all know I drive to school all the time due to my schedule. So while they would all take off without me in other days, this is the only day they would come to me for a ride. Knowing that, I purposely didn't drive so that they can't just take advantage of that. (I'd rather walk than be reduced to be their chauffer if they're treating me like this.) That day, one of them then asked me to walk with them to home (we live near) because their other friend were staying in school but I made up an excuse to stay in school a bit longer too.

I hope this is a sign that I'm outgrowing those posse of friends.

I don't mean to make this a weblog but hopefully, people can point out if I messed up on anything or what they think of my problems with my current "friends".

 

[stallion]

elvis,

thats exactly what I'm afraid of. If I don't find some more close friends while I'm still in school, then I'll be stuck with less friends in the future.

 

[Julian]

Dude i hear you 100%.

I used to have a tight knit clique of friends. I mean, it was 4 of us and we hung out day in, day out, adventuring all over. I was barely ever home. This was from ages 14-16.

When i turned 17 sh1t started going down hill. 1 of the dudes banged the other dudes gf, so then they had beef. The guy whos gf cheated on him took her back and they have a baby now (he just turned 18). So i dont hang with him really.

The guy who fucced the aformentioned gf is a bum, his goal is to get high and drunk everyday, hes like 20 and lives with his parents still and he is a pathological liar.

The other friend in the group moved a couple of hours away, so i havent seen him since like new years eve.


I have a friend who just got out of the national guard, so ive been chillin with him recently which has definetly been cool. But other then him i dont really hang with alot of other people.

There this other group of people, they are all like 19-20 i could have chilled with last night. But i decided not to because i had just worked like 7 hours and was tired as fucc. I think ill get together with them sometime. The thing is they are all into smoking and drinking too, which is something i quit doing along time ago.

Also, when i quit smoking and drinking i burned alot of bridges because i basically cut all that out of my life, as well as the people who's lives were based on that.

Right now im just making money, working out and improving myself.

Bigger, faster, stronger, smarter. Thats what im trying to be. I would like to meet some new friends, but i guess i havent really givin people alot of chances to get into my life.

I dont just let anyone in. For instance, this guy i met thru my friend tries to contact me and get me to drink with him and a his girlfriend and whoever else. But he seems shady to me, i dunno its wierd...i dont trust him...

Dont settle for less bro, if people are trying to befriend you and you feel they may have ulterior motives just ignore them.. go with your gut. You want WORTHY friends, not bums.

 

[PlayerSupreme]

How do you make and keep friends?

Take an active real interest in other people and their lives.