How do you maintain frame in a LTR?

[Zimbabwe]

I did some research and found that the Lions share of game advice was simply to get dates or sleep with women, almost no game was applied to relationships. The game doesn't end once the relationship starts, a man must not get complacent.

Even in my current relationship i notice myself getting lazier, it's been over two weeks since i went out to cold approach. In my mind i think i already got a woman so i subconsciously try less. I'm pretty sure this is what leads to the downfall of most relationships.

So my question is, how can a man maintain frame in a long term relationship?

 

[TheProspect]

This is something I personally struggle with.

For me, my frame starts slipping usually around a couple months into the relationship, around the time I start to emotionally invest. (There's nothing inherently wrong with emotionally investing in your girlfriend, it's just important to be mindful during the process that she does not become your primary dopamine input and primary source of your happiness or sense of meaning)

---

In my case, my frame slippage can be boiled down to a sentence: I stopped being the guy that attracted her and emotionally hooked her in the first place.

Now of course there's a lot of nuance to parse apart from that, but my general advice would be don't stop "dating" your girlfriend...

Don't stop doing the things that attracted her in the first place: fun dates & adventures, confidence, abundance mindset, and masculine qualities such as leadership, decisiveness, and composure. After a few months you can communicate your emotions and give her some vulnerability here and there (but don't be needy!), but don't cross the line into her being your emotional tampon, save that sh!t for your friends or therapist.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

This is where I fail.

 

[manfrombelow]

I failed at this too (I'm single now), which at times made me wonder: Was it because I was "weak" or was it because it's actually no way to maintain frame once you're in a LTR?

Which, logically, leads to another question: Is the only way of maintaining frame in a LTR is NEVER SETTING FOOT into it in the first place?

 

[spred]

Corey Wayne says you must continue dating her like before the LTR, and keep the rest of the frame (except the activities you cannot because you live together).

 

[Striker_93]

What are you guys talking about lol
All of this is a moot issue.

Either she's into you or not, simple.

Stop worrying about "frame"
It's ridiculous and causes overthinking your every move with women like your playing chess lol, just be yourself, if she doesn't like it find somebody who does.....

 

[firstbornunicorn]

Anal

 

[RickTheToad]

I did some research and found that the Lions share of game advice was simply to get dates or sleep with women, almost no game was applied to relationships. The game doesn't end once the relationship starts, a man must not get complacent.

Even in my current relationship i notice myself getting lazier, it's been over two weeks since i went out to cold approach. In my mind i think i already got a woman so i subconsciously try less. I'm pretty sure this is what leads to the downfall of most relationships.

So my question is, how can a man maintain frame in a long term relationship?

Pull away, abstain from sex from time to time, make her submit to you. She doesn't, no prob., put her on notice of the issues and then bounce; if possible. Never allow her to know your next move. You need to be a moving target. She has to work to keep you, not vice-versa.

 

[wifehunter]

Frame needs to be built on a rock....not sand or jello.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Frame is power and positioning. She has to need you more than vice versa. Other than that just be a man and things will go smoothly.

If she doesn’t respect and admire you from Day 1 that part will never change.

 

[Dr.Suave]

U attracted her in the first place, so keep doing what works for as long as possible

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

Don't hang out with them when you're stressed/tired/anxious/etc, they will opportunistically and relentlessly use any moment of weakness to seize frame, which is harder to recover once you've lost it too strongly.

Personally I only prefer seeing a girl once, twice a week at most, and if I'm not feeling hot, I cancel plans. Never move in with them, you can't win.

 

[Epimanes]

Depends if you have kids together or not.

1. With kids.... its soooo hard... because your damned if you do and dammed if ya don't... focus on the kids and walk away when your frame gets tested... either way your fvcked she has you by the balls and the balls in her court always... she can walk away .. take half your ****... and then scoop up another man while you pay for the kids from afar... and get double or Tripple the money... fkn stupid.

2. No kids? .... detach... she makes your D!ck hard not your life.... if she's outa line... walk away don't feed into it... if she don't like it there's the door. Within reason of course.

Epi

 

[2Rocky]

Been doing this with a live in for 2.5 years now....let me see if I can shed some light.
1) Don't respond to her publically on social media. but every now and then throw her a bone....Like when she shines a light on you...
2) Do date nights where you plan the night. Not ask her what she wants to eat, Tell her that you got reservations at Chez X. Line up the sitter, call her boss to let her off early, etc. Make **** happen
3) Talk to other women in front of her. Don't be an obvious flirt, but let her see other women paying attention to you.
4) Don't throw her under the bus. Let her know BY YOUR ACTIONS her good reputation as a hot chick is because you don't share her ugly crying or dancing like Elaine Benes.
5) Keep a good social circle of successful guys with hot wives and girlfriends.
6) have a limit on $ spending and time together and stick to it. But don't be cheap on her and buy toys for you...
7) Have a common goal you both work towards. Vacation, assets, etc.
8) When she asks your opinion be definite in your response and ask/tell her to give you options rather than an open ended questions.
9) Call out disrespect and dirty tactics, but be calm and measured. Not loud and yelling.
10) Give enough vulnerability for her to see you are confident enough to "Put your balls in the lion's mouth", but don't expose your achilles heel.
11) Be a man of action. Don't overpromise and under deliver
12) Know your limitations. Don't get into **** swinging contests with other people where you are gonna get schooled.
13) Initiate intimacy. Don't expect her to always.

 

[TheKid]

To keep frame you just dont fall for them.
If you get the girl you want, you will fall and lose.
If you get a girl you not fussed about you will not fall, she will.
You have to date down so you can be indifferent.
There is no winning with the girls you want. Only heartache.

 

[Jack22]

Have a higher goal than her, something you're ready to leave her for if you had the choice between the two. Pursue that goal relentlessly. It can be anything, from starting a club to a new business venture, for some it's purely the pursuit of power. If you're an artist, devote yourself to your work. Have good physique? Chase those gains and start a following on social media. A particular topic interests you?

Do your research and become an expert on that topic, if it's interesting enough try pushing to get a book published and then follow up by bombarding newspapers with requests for an interview about said book. Hell, if you're good enough you might land an interview on tv. I knew a chick who did something similar in HS, but she used the race card and being reasonably attractive to her advantage.