How do you keep things alive with distance?

[firstbornunicorn]

I've met up with this girl 3 or 4 times, but we live far and when we're not together there's basically radio silence besides some photos of one of her hikes or something she cooked. Neither of us are the chit-chatty type and we're both pretty busy with other stuff. How can I keep this alive, or better yet, how can I keep it alive and relatively sexual? Sex has always been on point, I've been pretty dominant and she's enjoyed the rides. Lot's of choking, hair pulling, slapping, outdoors, on a rock, bent over a pile of logs, etc.

So the time we've had together has been great, but there is a lot of time not together, and there will be more. I'm very into this chick and want to explore the LTR potential.

What are some tricks you use?

She has called me a couple of times but I have never called her. Is this something I should consider?

 

[Focal core]

Thinks youre going great there keeping the sexual alive were the magical ingredients that keeping a relationship alive.. I mean whats the timeframe for the 4 dates you have been? If within a month thats nothing you should worried.

 

[firstbornunicorn]

Thinks youre going great there keeping the sexual alive were the magical ingredients that keeping a relationship alive.. I mean whats the timeframe for the 4 dates you have been? If within a month thats nothing you should worried.

about 2 months. I told her I'll be in her town on the 7th and asked if she would be free. She said she'd let me know. Should I have instead *told* her to be free? She's made time for me before even ignoring important university work by overstaying at my place. So there's interest. Although I don't want to make her do that again.

 

[Focal core]

about 2 months. I told her I'll be in her town on the 7th and asked if she would be free. She said she'd let me know. Should I have instead *told* her to be free? She's made time for me before even ignoring important university work by overstaying at my place. So there's interest. Although I don't want to make her do that again.

If youre the one taking the initiative to come over her town, its her job to made sure shes available on the date. If she cant, made sure she counter offer a better deal e.g shes coming over your town for example. Nahh you dont told her on doing something that would be enjoyable for her, let her be receptive on your advanced.

Long distance relationship are hard enough, if shes really into you she will make it easier for you.. If she didnt, you should pull back.

 

[firstbornunicorn]

I'm not going to do a committed long-distance relationship. If I ever make that proposition it's with no/little commitment. And to keep seeing each other once/twice per month. If we're still having fun in a year then we'll talk details. I don't want her to feel trapped or act needy. And also keep in mind she's a 10/10 absolute babe studying medicine and shares literally all my hobbies. It's hard to not catch feelings.

 

[RangerMIke]

I'm not going to do a committed long-distance relationship. If I ever make that proposition it's with no/little commitment. And to keep seeing each other once/twice per month. If we're still having fun in a year then we'll talk details. I don't want her to feel trapped or act needy. And also keep in mind she's a 10/10 absolute babe studying medicine and shares literally all my hobbies. It's hard to not catch feelings.

Don't lose emotional self-control. That makes strong men look very weak. You can't help how you feel, but what you do will drive your behavior. Try not to think about her unless you are actually with her... this includes posting on forums asking for advice.

Just keep dating other women and let the cards fall where they will. There really isn't anything you can do to influence a chick's behavior, all you can do is fvck it up if she already likes you. The fastest path to 'fvcking it up' is overthinking.

 

[firstbornunicorn]

Try not to think about her unless you are actually with her...

Very hard to do

Just keep dating other women and let the cards fall where they will. There really isn't anything you can do to influence a chick's behavior, all you can do is fvck it up if she already likes you. The fastest path to 'fvcking it up' is overthinking.

I am. Had another one over last night. But, guess what, it was pretty terrible because I was just thinking of the other one. The issue with her being a 10 is that I need another 10 to get her off my mind.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

You are wasting your time unless there is the possibility of you two being closer distance wise

 

[firstbornunicorn]

You are wasting your time unless there is the possibility of you two being closer distance wise

There is. My town has better weather than hers and is closer to her parents. She has said that she has thought of moving closer to her parents and somewhere with better weather

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

LDRs are only worth it if they are temporary period!

 

[deadmasterx]

when we're not together there's basically radio silence

That's a bad sign. If she really did enjoy your company, she'd be sending you messages at least twice a day. Most times even calling sometimes, unexpected, to say that she missed you (not always with words, but the action speaks for itself). If there's radio silence it can mean two things: she's playing; there's someone else in the game.

How can I keep this alive, or better yet, how can I keep it alive and relatively sexual?

You can set up some dates with her, night talks with calling. Once one or two weeks. If you're confident, you can use the opportunities to talk dirty. When in a LDR (or simply LD) the only way to keep sex alive is dirty talking. Better if you can see her (FaceTime). You can simply go on telling her stuff, breaking the walls, watching her closing her eyes, biting her lips, so on. That's the time you'll tell her what to do. You're dominant, as you already said, so it won't be a problem.

 

[EyeBRollin]

LDR is a waste of time. If you can’t see each other at least 3 days out of a month it’s not going anywhere.

 

[firstbornunicorn]

LDR is a waste of time. If you can’t see each other at least 3 days out of a month it’s not going anywhere.

More than 3 days has been the case and could continue to be so.

 

[deadmasterx]

But as someone who has experience with LDRs, I just want to say to keep things light. It's not much different of a normal relationship, the hardest part is that it's harder to keep it alive. The things that works for me are:

1) Letting her come to me, only texting first if I have some important news
2) Encouraging her to talk about her day and stuff with me, so she will bond and feel closer.
3) If you can't meet for sex, go for dirty talking, she'll feel like jerking off for you.
4) Take things seriously, make plans together, LDRs aren't for people who are just lonely, if you're with this person, passing through all this hard time, you better have her really invested on you.
5) Don't let anxiety ruin you. It's easy to catch yourself thinking "What is she doing rn?" or even worse insecure thoughts. Don't. Live your life, value your time with her, make it special, but once you're away, it's your time. It's hard not to think about it, but I found out that accepting the possibilities of **** happening means freedom.
6) Close the distance. It's part of the plans, but, if you're in a LDR and have no priority on closing the distance it surely won't work.

 

[2Rocky]

I can honestly say I made an LDR work. and @deadmasterx is right on.

if you don't have a "deadline " of when the distance will be closed, you can't be in an LTR.
If you don't have a meetup scheduled soon in the future it won't work.
If you don't communicate well it won't work.

The odds are against you in an LDR. Just figure on it.

 

[Sir FB]

But as someone who has experience with LDRs, I just want to say to keep things light. It's not much different of a normal relationship, the hardest part is that it's harder to keep it alive. The things that works for me are:

1) Letting her come to me, only texting first if I have some important news
2) Encouraging her to talk about her day and stuff with me, so she will bond and feel closer.
3) If you can't meet for sex, go for dirty talking, she'll feel like jerking off for you.
4) Take things seriously, make plans together, LDRs aren't for people who are just lonely, if you're with this person, passing through all this hard time, you better have her really invested on you.
5) Don't let anxiety ruin you. It's easy to catch yourself thinking "What is she doing rn?" or even worse insecure thoughts. Don't. Live your life, value your time with her, make it special, but once you're away, it's your time. It's hard not to think about it, but I found out that accepting the possibilities of **** happening means freedom.
6) Close the distance. It's part of the plans, but, if you're in a LDR and have no priority on closing the distance it surely won't work.

I'm also in the beginning stages of a LDR and have zero experience. Thanks for posting those tips.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Very hard to do



I am. Had another one over last night. But, guess what, it was pretty terrible because I was just thinking of the other one. The issue with her being a 10 is that I need another 10 to get her off my mind.

She is not a 10. You just have her on a pedestal right now. And if you truly believe she is a 10 then you think she has more value than you do which means she will see this fairly quickly and it will be over soon enough anyway.

I would suggest you change this mindset quickly.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

I've met up with this girl 3 or 4 times, but we live far and when we're not together there's basically radio silence besides some photos of one of her hikes or something she cooked. Neither of us are the chit-chatty type and we're both pretty busy with other stuff. How can I keep this alive, or better yet, how can I keep it alive and relatively sexual? Sex has always been on point, I've been pretty dominant and she's enjoyed the rides. Lot's of choking, hair pulling, slapping, outdoors, on a rock, bent over a pile of logs, etc.

So the time we've had together has been great, but there is a lot of time not together, and there will be more. I'm very into this chick and want to explore the LTR potential.

What are some tricks you use?

She has called me a couple of times but I have never called her. Is this something I should consider?

Comply or bye. She gets on my program or downgrade to boot call. Thanks for coming.

 

[f(x)]

I used to date a few gals who lived halfway across the state.

Took a couple hours driving to see them.

Anyhow, had one who I would try to visit every weekend, but she began to fade after I told her I couldn’t move in. Another I would see less frequently and she just became a hassle. Both these broads were dtfas and I had them on and off for years.

Now that I know better, they were plates.
Having them come to me instead would have been optimal.

In my opinion if it’s a guaranteed lay, a couple hours drive beats hunting new tail

 

[TheKid]

Silence is your friend.