How do you keep a convo interesting/alive?

[Rebound Material]

I know that when talking to a girl you're trying to achieve a "more than just friends" relationship with you should try to always keep the convo about her and keep it away from yourself(no matter how tempting it is to brag about yourself). If she does ask say as little as possible and turn the subject back to her. Kino, eye contact and CnF are a must(im still workin on kino). You never ask about her past relationships/ex BF's and crap like that. What I want to know is how you kill awkward silences.

- What are good opening lines? (How was your day? How was work? How you been?) **** like that.
- What are good silence breakers?
- If she does ask about you, how much is too much too say? How much is too little?
- What exactly is an 'intimate' convo'? How do you gradually take small talk and make it 'intimate'? examples please?!

Yea, ive been criticized that my convos with potentials only stay small talk, doesnt get intimate thus taking me to the friend zone. Otherwise I got most things down(except for kino). I really want to fix that.

Guys show to care to show some examples?? tips??

 

[GloriouslyInsane]

When theres this "awkward silence" i try to say a story-type joke,she will think it is a true story or the like and be surprised.You have to shift the convo towards "Sex" but at the same time avoiding the "past relationships" chapter.Whenever she asks about you,don't change the subject or don't give an answer,answer vaguely.For an example "what do you do for a living?"

If you're a plumber,lawyer etc you know "services" that is what u answer:"I provide services to people that need them"

Give only a tad bit of info every time,i don't know where i read this but you have to peel your character like an onion.

 

[Rebound Material]

When theres this "awkward silence" i try to say a story-type joke,she will think it is a true story or the like and be surprised.You have to shift the convo towards "Sex" but at the same time avoiding the "past relationships" chapter.Whenever she asks about you,don't change the subject or don't give an answer,answer vaguely.For an example "what do you do for a living?"

If you're a plumber,lawyer etc you know "services" that is what u answer:"I provide services to people that need them"

Give only a tad bit of info every time,i don't know where i read this but you have to peel your character like an onion.

ahhh, what if she gets more curious and asks "what kind of service do you provide?" basically, what if she begins to pry into you??

and yea, about the subject of sex, how do you GRADUALLY get into that??

I mean, you can't just go:

ME: So hows school for you? Doing good??
HER: Yea, but it was really tough and I rarely got any sleep. How bout you?
ME: Yea, grades this time around sucked....SO WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SUCKED??...if you know what I mean .

...if this is how you gradually get to that subject...WOW. But if theres any examples of how just to casually bring it up to take your convo up a notch PLEASE don't hold back!

 

[Rebound Material]

--I know this sounds too simple, but anything can be a good opener...don't feel like you have to limit opening targets with certain lines...now, i personally will refrain from opening convo with cliches and questions:

CLICHE (boring, predictable)

"How are you?"
"Where are you from?"

NOT CLICHE (spicy, interesting)

"You must have got a raise today. You're happy."
"I just had a vision of you wearing a snowsuit in the heart of Antartica."

These openers are hit or miss...just like every other opener...the most important thing you have to remember about opening targets is you should expect and embrace rejection...the more you're rejected, the more confident you feel.

--The best way to break silences is don't resist them...for example: if you're driving with a girl, and the conversation goes silent, just turn the radio up a little and act like you could care less if the conversation continues...this allows you to see if she's really interested...if she intiates fluff, that's an IOI...she likes you.

Same thing when she laughs during convo...don't laugh at everything she says. This shows you have confidence.

there's no rule about how much/little you say about you...most HB's love talking about themselves...you'll find you need not say much during convo...she'll take over...just don't interrupt her...let her talk.

Intimate conversations:

You can't make conversations intimate, bro...the only thing you can do is transcend yourself from potential friend to romancer. Once she is able to view you as a romantic endeavor, the conversations will automatically evolve to intimacy.

You CAN ask questions to establish yourself as a lover:

"What was your first kiss like?"

"How do you know when a man appreciates you?"

"What is your absolute fantasy vacation?"


One last thing:

When she's goodbye, point to your cheek and say, "Kiss goodbye."

Very helpful man. I was writing my previous post when you posted this BTW.

 

[LJC]

You can't just sit there and ask question after question while giving extremely vague responses in turn. Although it's true women will talk much more if you let them, you have to inject the ability to relate to display your own personality and get them shaking their heads in agreement. You do this by being brief, not vague. For example:

You: So hows school for you? Doing good??
HER: Yea, but it was really tough and I rarely got any sleep. How bout you?
You: Pretty much the same. Nothing like sitting through a tediously boring lecture with bloodshot eyes, huh?
Her: (shakes head) Yeah! OMG! This one time I was caught sleeping..blah blah blah blah blah...

In other words, you've got to get them a little excited in talking about whatever it is they're talking about, and not just making them answer question after question after question. When they relate to what you say, they become more interested. And by being brief, you're more likely going to achieve that vs. a much more detailed, longer and more personal response.
In the example convo above, you don't want to start going into how you hate your prof and hate the class and wish the semester would end and all of these other problems. Keep it simple and personable.

 

[Rebound Material]

your example convo is exactly the way my convos go believe it or not. But keeping up like this, wont it just stay small talk?

 

[LJC]

The more insterested they are, the more they talk. The more they talk, the more topics they cover, and sexual content always falls in there sooner or later just because they blab so much. You've just got to pick up and focus on it with your next comment when it comes.

 

[LJC]

Basically, it's a point of steering the conversation in the right direction, not so much about content. If you keep bringing up random topics rather than guide it to where you want it to go, then yeah, it's going to stay small talk.

 

[GloriouslyInsane]

Alot of you asked how you gradually turn the discussion towards sex.Well first of all you have to analyze the girls character,lets say we have an openminded,funny,smart girl

GI:What do you do for fun?
G:X and Y
GI:Hm....well...that sounds very....
G:What?
GI:Very timid,you're too nice for me,i like naughty girls. (evil grin)

Now at this point there are several outcomes depending on how much she's interested in you,lets take the ideal one

G:I can be naughty..

I don't think its that hard to trancend from there,the emotions are set etc

Women love to talk about sex,another conversation i had was this.

@ club:
GI:Look at those two girls dancing (2 girls dancing with eachother,really close and sensually),do you think they're bisexual?
G:Maybe,they're very sexy though.
after this i said a lame joke on the lines of "there's a sandwich that needs some meat" <- i know its lame don't flame me ,but it got her laughing nontheless.

The more insterested they are, the more they talk. The more they talk, the more topics they cover, and sexual content always falls in there sooner or later just because they blab so much. You've just got to pick up and focus on it with your next comment when it comes.

Quoted for truth.

 

[flexion_]

This may sound stupid but you just need to be an interesting and alive person. Don't focus on scripts - focus on being happy about who you are and what you have to offer people around you and this will come naturally.

 

[Rphobe]

This may sound stupid but you just need to be an interesting and alive person. Don't focus on scripts - focus on being happy about who you are and what you have to offer people around you and this will come naturally.

For many men who are not good with women it will never come naturally, you have to understand that many nerds, geeks and people who are afraid of women have:

1) psychological wounds from upbringing / growing up
2) an underlying neurological disorders

It just doesn't magically "get better with time", for some it will always take concerted effort because their minds do not work like others socially.

 

[mrRuckus]

For an example "what do you do for a living?"
If you're a plumber,lawyer etc you know "services" that is what u answer:"I provide services to people that need them"

Are you serious? That makes you sound like a joke.

Do you know what you're saying when you say that? "I work." Yup you used a long winded version of "i have a job."

 

[GloriouslyInsane]

Are you serious? That makes you sound like a joke.

Do you know what you're saying when you say that? "I work." Yup you used a long winded version of "i have a job."

Well i admit that was a very vague concept but it is important not to say as little as "I work" (as you mentioned,it did sound a bit too vague) but not straight out say "I'm a plumber".

Like you're a construction worker -> "I create buildings"
you're an athlete -> "I entertain people with my physical abilities"

 

[Weak_Game]

without being too much of a ****... you have to have a personality... i seriously think some of you are trying too hard

there are no stupid questions but this one def takes the cake


Im just waiting for:

How do you put your penis inside a girl once shes naked?

 

[mrRuckus]

Like you're a construction worker -> "I create buildings"
you're an athlete -> "I entertain people with my physical abilities"

 

[Rocko]

Well, a good opener for girls i had met the day before that i like to use is:

"dude name, i had the craziest dream last night and you were in it, ill tell you about it later..."

by doing this, it opens up to the girl to show that you still remember her, and, it will lead her to talk to you the next time you guys meet