How do you handle the voicemail game...

[darkjedi]

So, I'm just curious on how other DJ's here go about trying to get in contact with a woman who does not return calls to setup a date or a woman who didn't call you back because she is playing the game...

Currently I'm seeing a few different women. I've been on one date with each of them last week on Wednesday and Thursday. Both dates went really well and both expressed high intrest in meeting up again. I called them on Monday of this week and reached the voicemail for each of them. I left them both messages.

Now today is Wednesday and I have not yet recieved a call back from either one. Basically what I'm wondering is in general how long would you wait for a call back before you try to call again and how many attempts to call would you make before you nexted them? Would you leave a voicemail? It seems like I am encountering this more and more and it seems like these women are playing the game and want me to keep calling them before they will call back. I know for a fact that one of em is not busy as her only obligation is work and she pretty much does not do anything else but go home.

Again, I'm just looking for how you DJ's address this when you enconter it as I'm seeing this with more frequency lately.

 

[Bible_Belt]

If the dates were going that well, then they would call you back. Could you have been too nice, and maybe a little boring?

 

[darkjedi]

If the dates were going that well, then they would call you back. Could you have been too nice, and maybe a little boring?

This is a good point, but I am very certain the dates went well as there was plenty of kino, good conversation and I kept them laughing.

Again, some women out there do play the game of not returning calls or playing hard to get. I know other DJs have encountered or is currently encountering this and i was wondering how you all handle it. So, to state my question again:

What I'm wondering is in general how long would you wait for a call back before you try to call again and how many attempts to call would you make before you nexted them? Would you leave a voicemail?

 

[dav22]

Well i don't even listen to my voicemails, i don't know how common that is.

I'd give it a few days then give her a call but don't leave another voicemail, make sure you talk to them. Best thing to do is to call in the evening.

 

[darkjedi]

bump

 

[Bvbidd]

Don't use voicemails!

 

[Money2burn]

I've always been curious about this topic as well.

If you get sent to voicemail, do u automatically chalk it up as a loss? I figure if a girl is interested she'd pick up the phone. I mean i know people are busy, but if someone calls me, i pick up. Especially, in comparison to women who seem to live on their phones all day. I don't know if its just a game chics play...
For Example:
oh he's calling me... let me send him to voice mail and see what he says.
Oh he's calling me... let me send him to voice mail, i don't want to seem desperate.
Oh he's calling me... let me not pick up cuz i want to see how persistent he can be and if he really likes me or not.

I hate phone conversations. Love texting.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Did you kiss them? I am accusing you of being a boring nice guy, because I have been one myself. The 'I thought it went well but she lost interest' scenario is a big red flag. Rather than worry about how to time voicemails, think about trying something different on your next dates and seeing if those women return phone calls.

Trying being more of a pushy jerk on your next date. That sounds odd, I know, but I bet you are a nice guy, so if you try to be a jerk, it comes off as about the right push/pull mixture. I have a first date on Saturday, and we are at least going to make out, or else I am going to push it to the point that it is painfully obvious she is rejecting me and I will call a different girl next time who won't. And fwiw, she has not gone more than 15 minutes without returning a voicemail. It's a lot easier to find new women who are interested in you than it is to obsess about the ones who have had their chance and are not.

 

[Bvbidd]

I've had more girls lost interest from me kissing them on a first date, then not.

It's best to actually wait a couple dates to kiss her or she'll think your a rapist belive me.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Maybe you have bad breath.

You guys that keep dating a girl without getting physical amaze me. wtf is in this arrangement for you? I get at least a bj by the third date, or I am outta there! I keep falling into LTRs, so my dating history is not extensive, but I can't remember going more than three dates without getting laid in my entire life. Part of this is due to dating the girls who have the most interest in me and do things like return calls.

 

[Money2burn]

i think... i've had more success with girls... that i've pushed the limits with on the first date. get her all hot and horney and wanting more next time ya see her. I never really thought about that till just now.

If i tried to be a nice guy. Sat there and tried to be a gentleman trying to impress a chic... i've noticed that she just sits there and looks at me weird.

 

[darkjedi]

Did you kiss them? I am accusing you of being a boring nice guy, because I have been one myself. The 'I thought it went well but she lost interest' scenario is a big red flag. Rather than worry about how to time voicemails, think about trying something different on your next dates and seeing if those women return phone calls.

Trying being more of a pushy jerk on your next date. That sounds odd, I know, but I bet you are a nice guy, so if you try to be a jerk, it comes off as about the right push/pull mixture. I have a first date on Saturday, and we are at least going to make out, or else I am going to push it to the point that it is painfully obvious she is rejecting me and I will call a different girl next time who won't. And fwiw, she has not gone more than 15 minutes without returning a voicemail. It's a lot easier to find new women who are interested in you than it is to obsess about the ones who have had their chance and are not.

No, I did not kiss them, but I'm with Bvbidd on kissing them on a first date. I've never had a problem getting them in bed by the third date without kissing them on the first date. On the dates I was using a good balance of C/F and I can still honestly say the date went good.

We all know women will play all kinds of games and sh!t tests. The reason we are on this site is more or less because we fell victim to one of their games. Women are out there reading coshopolitan and books like "the rules" just as we are here perfecting our DJ skills.

Yes, I've had women that did not play the phone game by returning calls promptly and calling daily and made it clear they were interested. Yet, there are women who play the game and will sh!t test you by not returning calls ect, but could still very much be interested in you. Usually these are the HB8s or higher.

I for one am not looking to miss out getting one of these women because I failed a sh!t test. I'm certain based on other replys in this thread that others here would like to know how best to handle this and the experience of other DJs when encountering this.

It seems that not many are not clear on how to handle this and this would be good information for new DJs and experienced alike as I can be certain that more and more of the HB8s+ and any "rules" woman will play this game and are looking for us to win.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

.... I called them on Monday of this week and reached the voicemail for each of them. I left them both messages. ...

What did you specifically say?

 

[Bible_Belt]

No, I did not kiss them, but I'm with Bvbidd on kissing them on a first date. I've never had a problem getting them in bed by the third date without kissing them on the first date.

wow, that is interesting to hear. I have them lose interest w/o something physical early on, but good for you if it works.

 

[darkjedi]

What did you specifically say?

This is not exactly what I said word for word, but the point is clear:

"Hey it's darkjedi, hope you had a good weekend. Anyway, I'm looking to hook up with you again this week. Give me a call. Later."

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

This is not exactly what I said word for word, but the point is clear:

"Hey it's darkjedi, hope you had a good weekend. Anyway, I'm looking to hook up with you again this week. Give me a call. Later."

What in that message would prompt her to rush and call you back; besides being bored and not having anything else to do of course.

 

[Bible_Belt]

yes indeed, like the old Eddie Murphy routine about the 29 cent chopsticks sign:

We need hook for this. We need eye catcher.

 

[darkjedi]

What in that message would prompt her to rush and call you back; besides being bored and not having anything else to do of course.

Fair enough. So what would you recommend?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

A typical Francisco vm:

"Hey, it's Francisco; I've been paroled again. Let's get together for coffee at that shop on campus to celebrate. I'm free after 6:00 on Wednesday and Thursday. I'll be around tonight until 7:00 so give me a call and let me know which day works best for you. Gotta go, I have to check in with my parole officer."

It's funny so she should be a bit more receptive, it tells her specifically what the plan is, it gives her options to pick which day and it gives a deadline to when she can call so there's no need to hang around by the phone. Even if she doesn't get the message until later, she'll at least leave a message if she's interested. If she's not you'll know in no uncertain terms. A woman who's interested but busy will call you with a counter, at least the days which she's available.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

yes indeed, like the old Eddie Murphy routine about the 29 cent chopsticks sign:

We need hook for this. We need eye catcher.

"You want almond cookie???"