How do you hairy guys cope?

[James Bondage]

I've been reading the posts on this site for a while now, but there is one topic of discussion I have yet to see raised which I think is certainly relevant. Namely, how do you hairier guys cope in today's dating world?

To be blunt, these days 85-90% of women find hairy men a HUGE turn-off. Hairy chests only seem to be barely acceptable provided there is only a small amount of hair (but a completely smooth guy will still win every time), and a hairy back is an enormous NO-NO for 98% of women who will dump you in an instant upon discovering you have one.

It appears to me that the majority of guys appear to have been blessed with a hairless body, or certainly only a tiny amount of hair at best. But for the less fortunate ones, we appear to be stuck with an impossible-to-solve problem that turns most women off instantly.

To be frank it has made my sex life incredibly difficult. I have been dumped, been called disgusting and even refused sex because of the fact I am so hairy (we were on our way back to my hotel room when I thought I'd mention it to see her reaction... basically it was 'OMG!!! That's disgusting!! can't you shave it?!?' to which I basically said no and we ended up going our separate ways)

It's not a plea for sympathy or anything but I've noticed that among my friends, the ones who have smooth bodies get laid tons more than the hairy ones. Could be coincidence, but I suspect not. (Well there is only one other hairy one apart from me but he is still a virgin at 28... I think you see my point)

I admit that I am insecure about it and it does make the task of becoming a DJ even more difficult (a DJ is supposedly to be completely secure about everything, right?), but I'd be interested to hear how you 'hairier DJs' cope these days.

Having game and doing well with women is all about being confident and knowing you are the best. A task which is made a whole lot harder when at the back of your mind you know that your body is repulsive to a lot of women.

So how do you guys deal with it? Do you just refuse to let it get to you, say 'this is me and if they don't like it, **** em'?! Does it affect your confidence? Or have you figured out a way of getting rid of the hair permanently? (trust me, I've tried EVERYTHING...)

I'd be interested to hear your responses on this.

 

[squirrels]

I shave my chest and stomach if I go to the pool or somewhere else where I'll be exposed. Otherwise I don't really give a damn.

It's BACK hair that turns most women off.

 

[logic1]

I think you are misinformed.

A hairy back is most likley a big turn off. But chest????

Do yo have that facts or stastitics to back up your 85-90% estimation.

Your a fricken MAN.

 

[Omen]

Well, you do have options, and if it bugs you that much, get it taken care of. Like mentioned, shave it, or get a laser treatment. With a few, you can pretty much get it off.

I mean its not like you go... I have a huge head, what do I do? Cutting it off is not an option :nono: But you have options for getting rid of hair, changing your clothes, haircut, job, and many other things.

What i've been told, or hear, is that if you are just your average male, then it is ok to have some.

Now here is where it gets tricky, because that is only an opinion of a few.

I shave my body, but I am pretty fit. Now i'm no hairy guy, but I am in-shape, and well defined, so it makes sense. What women drools over a hairy fit guy? Doesn't happen much. They like that smooth ripped body. Trust me, I know So i've heard from females, if you are fit as hell, then yeah, do it, but if not, no need too. Again I am assuming this is just a small amount of hair, or your norm.

If you are a sasquatch, or look like the caveman guys, then you might want to consider laser hair removal. If you feel your success rate is down the drains cause of it, you can solve it.

I also suggest if you want to kill two birds with one stone, get really fit and then get it removed if you aren't already fit.

Its all up to you, and not us. Only you know how bad it is, or affects your social life.

And yes, many girls are turned off buy it, but some aren't. Up to each woman.

Either way you'll have some comment. I have had people say... You shave your arms and chest? Its rare, and most the time its from fatter girls, but its less of an issue when your fit. I've heard it also from very young girls. Some are just stupid, and if they saw me with my shirt off they wouldnt complain

 

[James Bondage]

Yes, it is OK to have some, but I am hairier than your average... I mean the whole chest is like a f***in doormat, and there is some on the back as well (I spent thousands on getting it lasered years ago and it worked a bit, but there is still some there).

Unfortunately shaving isn't really an option because I've done that once already (on holiday), and since then it just grows back ever thicker and rougher. There doesn't appear to be any permanent solution.

It hasn't affected my social life or my personality or anything like that, and you wouldn't know by looking at me (fully clothed) that there is a problem.

But it does prove a problem with sexual confidence and despite having improved my game somewhat through this site, deep down I just don't have the same level of confidence in my body that I used to.

If a girl looks at me now I tend not to look back in her eyes with the same confident, lustful gaze as I could before because subconsciously I'm thinking "she wouldn't be attracted if she saw me naked".

I was just wondering if there is anyone else on here with the same problem?

 

[Master Bates]

I have a moderately hairy chest (certainly no Robin Williams, but hairier than average), and I have some back and shoulder hair which seems to increase a little with each year. I f*cking hate it myself.

A year ago I started trimming my frontal hair with a beard trimmer, on the shortest setting. It makes it look SO much better, without having to actually shave and all the problems that come along with it (uncomfortable stubble, razor bumps, ingrown hairs, etc). It's something of a hassle every 2-3 weeks, but I can live with it. And if I ever encounter a girl who loves da bear chest, I can just let it grow out.

My back is another story. Waxing is a no-no because it always, without fail, produces in-grown hairs which turn into a scattering of big nasty zits, and it doesn't seem to last long at all on me. Shaving is okay, but it's a real pain in the ass to do myself (I have pretty flexible arms so I can kind of manage), but there's always a little bit of stubble the first couple days, and it's easy to miss a spot. Plus it's always visible to some degree under brighter lighting. No matter what, it's unattractive in some way, and I've spent years wishing I was one of "those guys" with a completely clear, smooth back.

Lasering is an option, but it sounds like a b1tch. I went in for a consultation to this one place (a place that uses a laser proven to actually work, some places don't) and they wanted to charge me $550 a session for my back and shoulders. It also usually take several sessions to get rid of most or all of it, and I've also read that the hair on your shoulders/upper arms can be stimulated by several sessions of lasering and grow out MORE.

No matter how you look at it, it's a giant pain in the ass. Just one of those things you curse the gods for giving you and not the guy next to you.

 

[Colossus]

To be blunt, these days 85-90% of women find hairy men a HUGE turn-off. Hairy chests only seem to be barely acceptable provided there is only a small amount of hair (but a completely smooth guy will still win every time), and a hairy back is an enormous NO-NO for 98% of women who will dump you in an instant upon discovering you have one.

It appears to me that the majority of guys appear to have been blessed with a hairless body, or certainly only a tiny amount of hair at best. But for the less fortunate ones, we appear to be stuck with an impossible-to-solve problem that turns most women off instantly.

Dude where are you getting this information???

You are a man, and men have hair. God (dont freak) designed it that way. Im a moderately hairly guy...I have a dark beard after a few days and plenty of chest hair, and i have never had a problem with it.

I used to shave my chest and arms when i was really into bodybuilding, but frankly i hated it...I felt like a boy. I havent done it in years.

I dont know about British women, but i have met a LOT of women who love the 5 o' clock marlboro man beard and healthy chest hair. Maybe it just works for me, i dunno.

If a guy is obcenely hairy, then yeah, most women dont dig it.

Still it just sounds like you are creating this problem for yourself. Accept yourself and dont be ashamed of being a man.

 

[Master Bates]

^ Just because you're born with it and "that's the way you're supposed to be" doesn't mean it's attractive. Do you like chicks who don't shave their pits and legs? Women don't don't like back hair; many are repulsed by a lot of it. That's just the way it is, and trying to adopt a "roar i'm a man" attitude doesn't help.

 

[MatureDJ]

I can remember reading in ad in Playboy (or Penthouse, or whatever) in the 70's or early 80's that was for developing a hairy chest. I think that the current fashion for hairless men is a by-product of the general feminization of the American man. But although it is portrayed that way in the official social scene, I have a hunch that a lot of women get very turned on by a hairy, ape-like chest and a robustly stubbled "Homer Simpson" beard. All I know is that all of the women I've bedded seemed to enjoy putting their hands on my carpet. (This probably explains why older women like the hair more - because they are less susceptible to society's programming, and more drawn to their inner horny feelings.)

 

[acewhole]

I tend to agree with MatureDJ. I'm a big hairy Greek with plenty of shoulder and back hair. Sometimes I'll try to trim the shoulder hair a bit but generally I try to accept it as part of who I am. It's futile to try and fight nature for the rest of your life.

If you're incredibly in shape, I suspect it might pay off with the younger HB9+s of the world that appreciate a smooth epidermis. If you're into that kind of thing. I'm more of a take me or leave me sort of person and no one has left me because of it yet.

I suspect the poster is making a bigger deal about it than it is. Your comfort will set the baseline for other peoples comfort in many cases...

 

[James Bondage]

To acewhole... I have to respectfully disagree.

Where I'm from it really is as big a deal as I'm making it out to be, otherwise I wouldn't have started this thread. I have been to Greece before and observed that the men in general were far hairier there, and it was far more accepted and didn't seem to be such an issue. Maybe that is why you don't consider it a problem.

However in the UK/US girls seem to have been pre-conditioned to be attracted to the smooth six-pack kind of man. The hairy rug-style man, while once considered desirable in the 70's and early 80's, is now akin to something out of a freak show. The majority of women are utterly repulsed by it (believe me I'm talking from experience!!)

Ever see the Borat clip where there's all these smooth male swimwear models and then Borat on the end with his ridiculous green swimsuit thing and pale, furry chest? That's how I feel!!

For years I tried the 'well this is me, women must take me as I am' approach. It ain't working!! Admittedly it can be a huge turn-on for some women 20 years older than me... but I'm really not interested in them!! Not for an LTR anyway..

Don't get me wrong, I'm not being defeatist or anything like that. This site has helped to improve my confidence and game ten-fold and I'm always striving to become a better person. But this is the one thing that really kills my sexual confidence and I will never be the DJ I have set out to be until I can overcome it.

Even I find it disgusting and I'm not prepared to just leave it like it is because 'it's natural' or 'it's me'. I just can't believe that there is no permanent solution for this problem...

 

[acewhole]

What about Nair or some of those chemical jobs? I'm sure they're not good for your skin but maybe it's the lesser of two evils?

I don't live in Greece. I live in the Miami area where looks matter more than most places. Sure, some girls have the initial reaction of disgust. I don't even think they think about it. I suspect that it's more of a conditioning thing as previously mentioned.

Maybe I've just been lucky enough that have girls put up with it for me. I had two girls actually tell me they prefer it. And no they weren't 40. They were both under 25. I'm sure another factor is that the HB7s that I tend to target aren't going to be as vocal about aesthetic stuff like that compared to an HB9. I haven't had much experience with HB9s though...

Really, the main complaint I have and others have had is the loose hair problem. It can get all over them, in their mouth, in the sheets, all over the floor in the bathroom. You can reduce the problem by trying to get most of the loose hairs out in the shower.

 

[Mr.Positive]

Well, there are tall guys, short guys, guys with pencil d!cks, and hairy guys...you happen to be one of the hairy guys.

I guess the point is that nobody is perfect, but that doesn't really answer your question.

What I would do in your situation is trim it. Keep it short and clean and managable, the best that you can. If you shave it, it will grow back thicker and coarser, and chemicals can't be good for your skin in the long run, IMO.

Think short, clean, and groomed..like any other type of body hair.

 

[Omen]

I saw cavemen on TV and the last episode reminded me of this topic. He's in bed with the hot blond and he is HAIRY AS HELL. But she's all over him. That just needs to be you. Not that you are a caveman, but find a woman who like that thing. Maybe I watch too much TV.

 

[Mr.Positive]

I saw cavemen on TV and the last episode reminded me of this topic. He's in bed with the hot blond and he is HAIRY AS HELL. But she's all over him. That just needs to be you. Not that you are a caveman, but find a woman who like that thing. Maybe I watch too much TV.

What is this show cavemen? I'm out of the loop. It sounds hillarious. Now you got me wanting to be a caveman too.

Good point though, might as well try and use it to your advantage. Remember, not everyone gets to be a caveman.

 

[vitor]

Nair your stomach and chest, hair grows back slow and thin unlike shaving.

Dont tell her, let her find out. If its a big deal get your back waxed once a month, nair your chest and abs,

Most of my younger girlfriend seem to like a little hair, one even asked me not to shave. If you shave too much and have stubble you will hurt her when you get on top of her...

 

[Night Owl]

Real men have hair !! End of story..

Why on earth would you shave off your body hair for women? It's natural, otherwise we wouldn't have it. Apart from that it hurts like hell.

I have never shaved my hair off my body (apart from around your **** - nothing worst than your lady getting a hair in her mouth !!).

It's just another way women have tried to feminise us guys. And why do they like our bodies to smooth like small boys? To me, it smacks of pedophilia female style...

I have never had any problems what so ever getting women despite having a very hairy chest, arms, back, and legs. Beats me why put yourself though all that pain.

Keep it hairy !!

 

[KarmaSutra]

I don't give a good goddamn-

-about statistics, opinions or even policy.

What I know from experience, and my good fortune as a lover to a myriad of beautiful women, is that women do like men with well groomed hair. Be it on his head or chest. Grooming is everything.

I'm bald as a fvcking 9 ball on my head but I grow hair everywhere else (my ears, nose, shoulders and especially my back. God's irony sickens me:trouble: )

However. I am well groomed. Luckily companies are now making it much easier and less painful for men to make thier grooming acumen a pleasurable/daily experience.

There are products out there for each specific place if you want to remove or minimize hair. If guys suffer from excessive hair is pure laziness, nothing more.

I have Mrs. K to shave my back but I handle the rest of my problem caveman areas.

Make no mistake, the way a man cares for himself speaks more to women than showering her with diamonds and shoes.

 

[Omen]

What is this show cavemen? I'm out of the loop. It sounds hillarious. Now you got me wanting to be a caveman too.

Good point though, might as well try and use it to your advantage. Remember, not everyone gets to be a caveman.

You know that whole Geico deal, and so easy a caveman can do it stuff? Well they took characters like that and turned it into a show.

In the last episode one of them was trying to prove to this woman in the apartment... I'm really not scary. Then he proved it, and they chatted it up back at his place. Then the other 2 guys were like.. Want to get rid of her?

They then grabbed the fork deal from the fireplace and a log and ran after her and grunted like cavemen. LMAO.

 

[KarmaSutra]

I'm one of the few guys within my circle who really like and see the comedy in the Cavemen show.

Maurice being my favorite character followed by Nick.