How do you guys make the time to date multiple women?

[StevenR]

I am starting once again, partially with the help of online dating sites and partially through other means, trying to actively date again an apply the advice of this board. I met this one chick (the 24 HB9.5 single mommy), at the bookstore and we hit it off. Everyone is advising I don't date here. Meanwhile, on Match and Myspace I am now talking or emailing several women.

I saw one after work yesterday, another 28y.o. single mom I am not so into, and this evening I went out with the 24 y.o. hottie that everyone is recommending I drop because she has a kid. She so far is the only one I have been physical with and I am by far the most attracted to her.
She is flying out of town this weekend to visit her family, and I already have tomorrow booked with some people I am going to photograph fireworks with. Saturday I agreed to shoot a few photos for a young lady in the apartment complex who wants them for an online dating site, but I think she may like me as well.

This weekend I promised to call one gal I wrote online. Sunday I am meeting another woman off of match, Monday I am doing another non-dating related activity, but has the long term potential to allow me to meet more chicks. Tuesday I am meeting with another woman from match, plus the HB9.5 wants to see me as soon as she gets back. Then I have about 4 more women I am conversing with online currently.

How am I supposed to make the time to do this? I am trying to either ride my bicycle or go to the gym everyday after work, but if I go out with these women either the gym is closed or I don't feel like going. Plus there are a bunch of other things I want to get done that I don't seem to have any time for all of the sudden. This has all happened suddenly in about the space of a week once I really decided to go for it.

So what is wrong with just keeping the hottest one you are having sex with and dropping the rest? I suppose it is best to keep my options open, but there are other things I want to do besides date 10 different women. How do you guys manage, or do my time management skills just stink? Or am I just being lazy to only make time for one girl at a time?

 

[KaneZen]

Its all about priority management. When you are talking to multiple women you need to consistently reassess how much time you think you should invest into each.
Dont be afraid to downsize some of your investments if you have promising ones rising. 90% will naturally weed themselves out regardless and the ones that excel will do so without effort. You can always make excuses if you have multiple high priority investments vying for time but make sure that its not a blow off. If they are worth the time they will be willing to wait.
No one ever said you cant pick up a few tricks from a woman. They have many passive tests they give us and you should too. Sometimes making them wait is ideal even if they are the only one you are seeing. It gives you a good idea of your standing with them and how much stock you should put in the relationships future.
Time is something that many of us have very limited amounts of. If they cant understand that chances are they are not what you are looking for (too needy).

Your schedule only needs to be passively managed.
Continue a balanced approach to who you are talking to. If you feel you are overloaded you probably are and you need to reassess and figure out where to make cuts. if you have a handful of exceptional candidates and the rest you are unsure of level the playing field and refocus. As far as your time is concerned you should rarely need to do anything more than discern what times you have free to spend with your interests. More often than not if they are really interested in seeing you they will suggest something to do (if not outright they will give you enough indicators that you will know to suggest something to them). Assuming the latter this only makes your job easier because then you have effective control of when to schedule. If they offer to you and include an ideal time that is within your schedule Do not try to reschedule. This is very important actually. It means they have grasped a rough idea of your timing. Either accept or decline simple as that. Again if they are interested they will be willing to wait. If the timing is in conflict and you are unsure what to do you should already have your priorities straight so deciding which way to go should be little issue.
Depending on the activity though you might want to change your priority but a good rule is this: If you are looking to grow your investment or expand on its potential then you should consider it.

 

[Scaramouche]

Not that hard,just never date any one of them more than two nights a week....then make sure you are Geographically and thematically distant so no one gets a clue about their competition,and you have it made,but yes it will get tiring,In the past I managed to keep as many as three Plates spinning...very exciting really gets the adrenalyn rushing but can be fun...

 

[mtnkng]

I just had to start tracking all the ones in my pipeline. IF Im not careful, every night of the week will be filled. No time for me alone...and I know that isnt healthy.

So...now, Im scheduling dates in my calendar on outlook. Im also penciling in nites for "me" time. I havent found a good balance yet...but Im getting there.

 

[STR8UP]

This is the problem I have with spinning plates.

If you have a busy life as most of us do, then you shouldn't have a bunch of extra time to devote to a "pu$$y pipeline".

I'm not against the idea, I just don't see how it is practical to maintain consistently.

I suppose I'm doing it now with two, but the only and I mean the ONLY thing that is allowing me to do it is the fact that one of them is very busy herself, and the other one lives two hours away. If they both lived close and had a normal amount of free time it would be hard to juggle just these two let alone one or two more.

Other than that....between work, extracurricular activities, and family obligations, there isn't much time for anything else unless I were to cut into my "me" time, which I am not prepared to do.

So if you are the extroverted type who has the energy to be around people every waking hour, I say go for it. But don't sacrifice your sanity just because you think you have to be doing something a certain way. That what the matrix would have you do, albeit in a different way.

If you are like me, you are better off working on the attitude that you can take women or leave them, which gives you the same basic mindset as you get from having "options". Both allow you to have a clear head to be able to deal with women the RIGHT way.

 

[betterthandead]

Dunno about you, but I can date multiple woman. I can date woman A on Friday and then woman B on Monday, I just need some mental break. It's obvious if I were to start romantic relations with a woman, it would be pretty quick. If you're talking about sexual relations between multiple women, hmm not sure if I want to go there so I just avoid that reality.

 

[MatureDJ]

Wow, StevenR, you are the Hugh Hefner of the Single Mommy.

It is quite possible to juggle multiple women, but you have to be in a position of high status, and the women have to realize that you are a busy man. An old friend of mine was in medical school, and figured out how to juggle 4 women (Fri night, Sat afternoon, Sat evening, Sun afternoon.) He also had to let Miss Sat Afternoon know that there was a Miss Sat Evening, so that she would leave the house on time (one time she had to slip out of the window.)

 

[StevenR]

Wow, StevenR, you are the Hugh Hefner of the Single Mommy.

That wasn't my intention, I would prefer a woman without kids, but the ones who seem to give me the time of day so far, or don't flake on me, are the single mothers. And what do you mean by high status? I am not a doctor of lawyer or anything like that if that is what you mean, my parents are well off but I am middle class.

 

[MatureDJ]

That wasn't my intention, I would prefer a woman without kids, but the ones who seem to give me the time of day so far, or don't flake on me, are the single mothers. And what do you mean by high status? I am not a doctor of lawyer or anything like that if that is what you mean, my parents are well off but I am middle class.

OK, so what you are saying is that dating a single mommy bothers you, but you don't see a way to avoid them, as childless women of otherwise equivalent desirability seem to be beyond reach. Years ago, I found myself in a similar situation, and seemed to only meet single mommies. I actually went out on a single date with them, but after the first date, I always felt this uneasy feeling - like I was a loser that I had to date women that have already been impregnated by another man, when I myself have not been able to do so - so I never went forward with a subsequent date. My rule is now is that I only do one night stands with single mommies. Of course, I date abroad so I am not really looking to pick up women in the USA anymore, but sometimes they fall into my plate.

As for the high status, my friend was in medical school. If there is one thing that women in the USA have ingrained in their mind, it's that a physician is a good catch. The typical woman will not have the b1tch shield up, nor will she become flaky with such a man. Of course, she realizes that one way or another, she would be going to get a good alimony and child support settlement, so it's a win-win for her.

 

[Scaramouche]

Well we are back onto single parents again.....when it comes to multiple partners of course they are the perfect adjuncts to a central relationship....a wonderful ruse is to play the role of a Shift Worker in a Hush Hush Defense establishment....Who wants to see our Single Mummy while the Kids are up and tearing around?...But how nice to take Woman A to the movies,will you come round for coffee?"No darling I am too tired and really Honey I don't want this relationship to be purely Sex,you mean so much more than that to me",they love that line, organise a hot Rendezvous for the following Evening,maybe a saucy DVD or candle lit Supper, then its off on another mission of mercy,to drop in ostensibly after Work on Mumsie B,she will be ready for you to breathe a little Sunshine into her drab existence without the Attention Seeking little ankle biters,and you can get straight down to business.......I stumbled on my role whilst living with a guy who actually had such a job,I just talked a lot to him and his friends became mine,the amusing incidents and real life dramas they developed while yarning over coffee all became mine,reading the latest despatches from the Worlds hot spots can be useful ...Eventually with practice,you will develop Irontight Alibis being suddenly called away on urgent business,have an amusing or thrilling anecdote on your return...Its such a shame that the nature of your work precludes the use of your Cell phone while on duty...No checking up though is there?...I got away with this Masquerade for years...Even brought back interesting presents from Eritrea,Afghanistan and Iraq...Never take life too seriously it is just a juicy apple to be eaten...

 

[decades]

dating lots of women at the same time leaves no time for self improvement. lot's of running about but little "progress" being made.

 

[Jitterbug]

I don't "date" multiple women. Because of my lifestyle, I hang out with many, have fun & bang a few among them. I don't have to allocate any extra time to date them.

I only seriously date one or two max at the same time.

 

[grinder]

How to manage multiples depends on your goal. You have to figure out what you want and what is important.

Whether you are you looking to just have fun, endlessly date, never taking any too seriously; or are in a serious quest to find a or some quality women, you must, by the law of averages filter a lot of women.

I think there are two mentalities prevalent that can hinder you: 1) Dating multiple women becomes a trophy hunt, and 2) Being involved with multiple women, and the concomitant time required, creates an imbalance in your life focus and gives too much power to women in general.

In order to date multiples they are going to require a significant amount of your time. Anyone telling you otherwise is either lying or has never actually done it. Anything you devote a lot of time to becomes important, that’s a universal.

As with anything, your goal drives the process. Don’t let it be the other way around.

So what is your goal? I’ll tell you mine and this explains my process.

I seek high quality women, women who are not toxic. And because I am extremely jaded and cagey with whom I become involved I have a long process of qualification.

I have learned from experience the number of high quality women is very low. So, for me, dating multiples, is nothing more than being more efficient at filtering out the losers. If you date serially then this will take WAY too long.

Now, to the question: how to juggle them? This may sound cruel, but, does the miner care about the discarded chaff from his mining? You are going to be discarding a number of women. How you do this is a whole other thread (nope, “nexting” requires too much energy).

I’m guessing the reason you are concerned about juggling them is you care about them and what they think. Newsflash, you are just the next joe to them too, so don’t flatter yourself and think they set around pining for you. Sure, some may, and yes, that is not kind if you don’t call them, but, yo, you have a job to do.

Also, it may seem a cruel paradox, but the more selfish you become, the less you care, the more THEY will be interested. This is very old news on this board. No, I’m not advocating being a ruthless bastard. But, with all due respect, low quality, toxic women don’t really deserve a lot of your mental energy.

 

[Colossus]

Grinder had some good advice.

First of all, lets break down some definitions here.

I define "dating" as the trial phase: the first several weeks of seeing a woman where you are learning what she is about and seeing if she is a good fit for you. Dating multiple women is really just a matter of time management and prioritizing. DONT let going to the gym fall by the wayside because you have Match women to meet. You have to take care of yourself and your body, and this has precedent over your dating life. Women should only be a proportionate facet of your life. This will vary from man to man. Allocate different days to different women, but I wouldnt try to do more than three concurrently unless you have a ton of free time, and money.

Multiple relationships, on the other hand, are an entirely different ballgame. I have never done it, but from what I have read and observed I wouldnt advise it. Some guys claim to be successful at it, but I think once you get to that level with multiple women you start to become disingenuous in your relations. You pretty much have to lie to cover your tracks, and it can get too complicated.

 

[mrRuckus]

Plus there are a bunch of other things I want to get done that I don't seem to have any time for all of the sudden. This has all happened suddenly in about the space of a week once I really decided to go for it.

Invite women to do stuff you'd be doing anyway. Who cares if they think it is boring? It will weed out the ones not interested in you. Girls will do pretty much anything if they're interested in you and just want to be around you.