How do you guys deal with "I have a boyfriend"

[Masculinity]

I remember a fellow DJ posted a response he gives to women when they claim to have a boyfriend. It was something along the lines of "well, here is my number. If you want an upgrade, call me." I went out last night and had massive success (look out for the thread "Field report: Oc Speedball and Robyn923b.") However, I felt limited when a few of the girls on whom I went direct responded with "I have a boyfriend," yet they still gave me their numbers, smiled, and responded receptively.

I met three beautiful women last night at a karaoke place next to a university. Logically, the crowd was college students. The female to male ratio was about 5:4/ 5:3. The place was infested with babes and most of the guys were not making any moves and seemed like AFC's.

How do you guys deal with this " I have a boyfriend" bs? It seems more like a sh!t test to me than an actual boyfriend. I will value all constructive and detailed responses.

 

[nismo-4]

AFAIC If the woman finds you attractive, she's single. If she doesn't find you attractive, then she will use IHAB. It's a sign of disinterest, and decided within 10 seconds.

All women have a husband and boyfriend, both real and fictional. And they're always looking for the bigger, better deal (greener pastures).

Regardless, you can't be scared to go for it. If you're getting IHAB too much, maybe it's time for an upgrade. Don't delude yourself thinking she's playing hard to get or that she wants you or that she's shy. If you want, use a witty response and then leave. Don't linger or you'll be pegged as an orbiter. :nono:

I wonder if the woman who made this defense has a copyright on it? She's probably super rich!

Women are crazy regardless.

 

[Masculinity]

AFAIC If the woman finds you attractive, she's single. If she doesn't find you attractive, then she will use IHAB. It's a sign of disinterest, and decided within 10 seconds.

All women have a husband and boyfriend, both real and fictional. And they're always looking for the bigger, better deal (greener pastures).

Regardless, you can't be scared to go for it. If you're getting IHAB too much, maybe it's time for an upgrade. Don't delude yourself thinking she's playing hard to get or that she wants you or that she's shy. If you want, use a witty response and then leave. Don't linger or you'll be pegged as an orbiter. :nono:

I wonder if the woman who made this defense has a copyright on it? She's probably super rich!

Women are crazy regardless.

True. However, there are times women say they have a boyfriend and still do stuff with you. I have been "the other guy" before and the whole IHAB response was often a way to communicate I had to be discreet or just a plain our sh!t test.

Right now I'm having difficulties drawing the line between being persistent and letting the girl go. If they give up their numbers receptively, chances are they find me attractive at some level. Yet, if they find me attractive enough, why would she bring up her boyfriend? It's a paradox.

How do you usually respond to IHAB, Nismo?

 

[marmel75]

True. However, there are times women say they have a boyfriend and still do stuff with you. I have been "the other guy" before and the whole IHAB response was often a way to communicate I had to be discreet or just a plain our sh!t test.

Right now I'm having difficulties drawing the line between being persistent and letting the girl go. If they give up their numbers receptively, chances are they find me attractive at some level. Yet, if they find me attractive enough, why would she bring up her boyfriend? It's a paradox.

How do you usually respond to IHAB, Nismo?

Sometimes they bring it up to see what you are going to do as a kind of sh*t test...guess they figure a lot of guys would apologize and walk away, obviously they just weeded out a bunch of AFC chumps by doing that pretty quick...if you act like it didn't faze you, then you pass...chicks are just weird...

 

[backseatjuan]

Can he move aside?

 

[ilikecharlene]

i wouldn't care. plenty more talent to pursue.

 

[Masculinity]

bump

 

[Alle_Gory]

What makes you think there's anything to deal with?

 

[TheMale]

wait a minute, if a chick teling you IHAB, she's not attracted, we know that.
but you'ree not even trying to destroy that one by saying something like: 'cool he could take care of you when i'm not around' ???
you juste telling her, ok bye ?

 

[SharinganUser]

You start talking to her friend, or anybody else because she isn't really interested.

 

[Rubato]

Rob, I think you're right in being suspicious that the IHAB line could be a sh*t test. Really, I think the best way to deal with it is a simple deflection:

"That's nice".

"I'm happy for you"

"Congratulations. I have one too "

Whatever. I think the overarching thing that you should keep in mind when you get that line at night (I think day time is totally different) is that it's most likely meant to affect a reaction from you. So don't react. It's nothing, because she's nothing. How could she be? You don't even know her!

It could be a sign of low IL, but you can't know that anymore than you can know it's a sh*t test. Both of those ideas are operating from the premise of interpreting signals, and I'm a big advocate of Pook and AD's position on interpreting signals... Don't!

Instead, continue. If she's not interested in you, it will manifest itself in a clear way. You'll initiate kino and she won't be receptive. You'll go for the kiss, and she will deflect it. You'll try and dance/grind with her and she won't. That line is so trivial, I don't know why people, especially here, put any stock in it. Aren't we all the group who stands by the ideal that we should only trust actions rather than words? So don't pay attention to what she says. Pay attention to what she does.

I will qualify all of this with the following though: I don't think it's good to cheat or to facilitate it. If she really does have a BF and you are successful with her, you are reinforcing a character flaw in a population of people who already have far too many. It's not like there's a shortage of single va jay jay's.

 

[Poonani Maker]

I've responded (in the past), "Two words: Double penetration." Of course, she was offended and never spoke to me again, but I'd say that again to another chick if I felt like it. Never limit your speech. There are plenty of other women to Not be so rude to, women who don't say, "I have a boyfriend." Mix it up. Be risky. Get fvcked.

 

[nismo-4]

True. However, there are times women say they have a boyfriend and still do stuff with you. I have been "the other guy" before and the whole IHAB response was often a way to communicate I had to be discreet or just a plain our sh!t test.

It could be a sh!t test, but remember to make a move anyway. And remember that no means no.

Right now I'm having difficulties drawing the line between being persistent and letting the girl go. If they give up their numbers receptively, chances are they find me attractive at some level. Yet, if they find me attractive enough, why would she bring up her boyfriend? It's a paradox.

Sounds like an attention wh0re as opposed to a paradox.

How do you usually respond to IHAB, Nismo?

What the judge does is use a witty comeback. I'll also leave and talk to another girl. I ain't wasting my time on someone who isn't interested. F**k that.

Case closed.

 

[n00bPimp]

If im going for the number, and they tell me "I have a bf" I usually just respond with "thats cool im just gonna text you".

 

[TheMale]

What the judge does is use a witty comeback. I'll also leave and talk to another girl. I ain't wasting my time on someone who isn't interested. F**k that.

Case closed.

the question is, how are you doing this ?
are you just telling her: 'ok, bye' or you just continue to talk for some more minutes and then moving to the next chick ?

 

[Bumsniff]

I remember a fellow DJ posted a response he gives to women when they claim to have a boyfriend. It was something along the lines of "well, here is my number. If you want an upgrade, call me." I went out last night and had massive success (look out for the thread "Field report: Oc Speedball and Robyn923b.") However, I felt limited when a few of the girls on whom I went direct responded with "I have a boyfriend," yet they still gave me their numbers, smiled, and responded receptively.

I met three beautiful women last night at a karaoke place next to a university. Logically, the crowd was college students. The female to male ratio was about 5:4/ 5:3. The place was infested with babes and most of the guys were not making any moves and seemed like AFC's.

How do you guys deal with this " I have a boyfriend" bs? It seems more like a sh!t test to me than an actual boyfriend. I will value all constructive and detailed responses.

How to respond when a chick tells you she has a boyfriend?

Smile at her and say: "Damn..I'm sorry to hear that. My condolences. Give me your number and I can cheer you up sometime."

If she smiles you have an in. If not just laugh and walk away.

 

[Masculinity]

Rob, I think you're right in being suspicious that the IHAB line could be a sh*t test. Really, I think the best way to deal with it is a simple deflection:

"That's nice".

"I'm happy for you"

"Congratulations. I have one too "

Whatever. I think the overarching thing that you should keep in mind when you get that line at night (I think day time is totally different) is that it's most likely meant to affect a reaction from you. So don't react. It's nothing, because she's nothing. How could she be? You don't even know her!

It could be a sign of low IL, but you can't know that anymore than you can know it's a sh*t test. Both of those ideas are operating from the premise of interpreting signals, and I'm a big advocate of Pook and AD's position on interpreting signals... Don't!

Instead, continue. If she's not interested in you, it will manifest itself in a clear way. You'll initiate kino and she won't be receptive. You'll go for the kiss, and she will deflect it. You'll try and dance/grind with her and she won't. That line is so trivial, I don't know why people, especially here, put any stock in it. Aren't we all the group who stands by the ideal that we should only trust actions rather than words? So don't pay attention to what she says. Pay attention to what she does.

I will qualify all of this with the following though: I don't think it's good to cheat or to facilitate it. If she really does have a BF and you are successful with her, you are reinforcing a character flaw in a population of people who already have far too many. It's not like there's a shortage of single va jay jay's.

How to respond when a chick tells you she has a boyfriend?

Smile at her and say: "Damn..I'm sorry to hear that. My condolences. Give me your number and I can cheer you up sometime."

If she smiles you have an in. If not just laugh and walk away.

This ^ is what I'm talking about. Thanks a lot Rubato & Bumsniff! +1 rep.

the question is, how are you doing this ?
are you just telling her: 'ok, bye' or you just continue to talk for some more minutes and then moving to the next chick ?

I second this ^ Be more specific about your "witty response," Nismo.

 

[CJS]

I actually just ran into this situation for the first time last weekend, twice in one day too.

The second I work with at a bar, and is a solid 9+. Apparently she gets hit on so much that my indifference towards her was a turn on. We started texting, then she started asking me to hang out. We hung out a couple times and I kept getting stuck at the goal line. Clothes off, no sex. I figured she just wanted to wait, but then yesterday she told me how she had a serious bf, but she had an "animalistic attraction" towards me. We had lunch today, but it seemed more friendly then I get a text 2 min after we part ways talking about her "animal urges."

This has all happened within the past 5 days. Is this some sorta game I've never heard of? Not sure if I should stick with it, or give it up and save some dignity.

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

Never ask a woman if she has a boyfriend. Always assume that she doesn't. If she mentions that she does have a boyfriend then she is not interested! If she does have a boyfriend but she doesn't tell you then she is interested and you can still do your thing.

 

[Aspiring1]

Just an FYI, I have had a girl who was extremely interested in me years ago tell me she had a boyfriend, just to try to show off. She didn't. I didn't hook up with her, but I could have.

I think this notion of "if she says she has a BF she doesn't like you" is way overly simplistic. Maybe she actually has a freakin' boyfriend. Not all girls are totally shady. I know lots of girls who find me attractive who have boyfriends and husbands they wouldn't cheat on. And some that probably would.

My "IHaB" checklist would be something like this:

-They aren't interested
-They are interested and trying to show they have options
-They ACTUALLY HAVE A BOYFRIEND who they don't want to screw over