How do you go about trying to date a "baby mama"
- Thread starter Jayness
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HeyPachuco!
Master Don Juan
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Somebody once said on the Mature Forum - on a similiar subject, that it wasn't reproductive to his future. Dealing with a woman who has already been knocked up by somebody else isn't progressive, he gave a Lion/ Pride of Lions analogy and said the King Lion would kill the cubs of his last rival in order to preserve for himself with the Lioness. Which means - dont make anything into long-term basis unless it is reproductive to your future.
HeyPachuco!
Master Don Juan
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Productive - apologies.r0cky said:
jdollarthegreat
Don Juan
katatonia said:
I don't think its all about sex all the time but I have to agree with this one. Don't get involved with it, its not a good look know what i'm sayin
I agree. If you get into a full-scale relationship with her, you WILL eventually become the kid's new daddy. That's more baggage than an airport conveyor belt matey. Just F her and get away - walk don't run
I've dated my fair share of single mothers. Here are some red flags...
if she is constantly talking about her 'baby daddy'. Red flag.
if she is openly admits to needing a father for her child. Red flag.
if she is trying to get you meet her child and spend time with the child right off the bat. Flag on the play.
if she says these words "me and my child are a package deal". Flag.
if she's always griping about how her 'baby daddy' doesn't take care of his child. Flag.
if she's always broke. Or asks you for money, or ask you to buy things for her kid. Flag.
if she ever ask you to babysit. Nuclear Red Flag. :nono: Eject immediately and don't look back.
Some other tips....
1. You are her vacation from the messed up life she's in. Keep it that way. You don't date vacations, and you don't go on them every day...you just enjoy them when you can.
2. You play the role of the swuave player with a heart of gold, but you don't get sucked into her life. The point of 1. is to take her out of her life, let her enjoy life like it was before she got knocked up.
3. You do not spend time with her child. I repeat, you do not spend time with her child. You do not grow attached, you do not think of 'being a family'. You especially don't do this inside of the first year or two of knowing her.
4. You will have other girls. She expects you to have other girls. She knows her market value is low, and if she's the only girl on your radar then your market value is lower than hers, instant power shift.
5. You will not become needy or clingy. Her children will always be ahead of you so becoming needy or clingy will be even worse than with a childless woman. It's the quickest way to ruin.
6. You will not see her on a regular basis. i.e. several times a week. You will put her in the rotation of once, maybe twice a week.
7. You will not take her out on expensive dates. You may take her to the movies or some applebees type place every now and then, but there should be at least a 3-1 or 4-1 ratio. For every 3 times she just comes over and "watches a movie" you MIGHT take her out on a real date.
These have been some of my lessons I have learned from experience. take what you find useful, discard the rest. Good luck.
if she is constantly talking about her 'baby daddy'. Red flag.
if she is openly admits to needing a father for her child. Red flag.
if she is trying to get you meet her child and spend time with the child right off the bat. Flag on the play.
if she says these words "me and my child are a package deal". Flag.
if she's always griping about how her 'baby daddy' doesn't take care of his child. Flag.
if she's always broke. Or asks you for money, or ask you to buy things for her kid. Flag.
if she ever ask you to babysit. Nuclear Red Flag. :nono: Eject immediately and don't look back.
Some other tips....
1. You are her vacation from the messed up life she's in. Keep it that way. You don't date vacations, and you don't go on them every day...you just enjoy them when you can.
2. You play the role of the swuave player with a heart of gold, but you don't get sucked into her life. The point of 1. is to take her out of her life, let her enjoy life like it was before she got knocked up.
3. You do not spend time with her child. I repeat, you do not spend time with her child. You do not grow attached, you do not think of 'being a family'. You especially don't do this inside of the first year or two of knowing her.
4. You will have other girls. She expects you to have other girls. She knows her market value is low, and if she's the only girl on your radar then your market value is lower than hers, instant power shift.
5. You will not become needy or clingy. Her children will always be ahead of you so becoming needy or clingy will be even worse than with a childless woman. It's the quickest way to ruin.
6. You will not see her on a regular basis. i.e. several times a week. You will put her in the rotation of once, maybe twice a week.
7. You will not take her out on expensive dates. You may take her to the movies or some applebees type place every now and then, but there should be at least a 3-1 or 4-1 ratio. For every 3 times she just comes over and "watches a movie" you MIGHT take her out on a real date.
These have been some of my lessons I have learned from experience. take what you find useful, discard the rest. Good luck.
2crudedudes
Senior Don Juan
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Man, I wish I had found this website 5 years ago. This thread just about explains everything that I did wrong for 5 years.
Really dude, you don't want to date her. You really should just bone her as much as you can/want, but never treat her like a girlfriend.
Women carry enough baggage in their lives. Single mothers carry this x10.
Really dude, you don't want to date her. You really should just bone her as much as you can/want, but never treat her like a girlfriend.
Women carry enough baggage in their lives. Single mothers carry this x10.
I wish I would have found this website at birth.I would have never been in some of the situations I have been in.I dated this Single mother she almost never had time for me unless she needed something,there never avaliable during the day,the only you wil get to talk to her is at night when she is about to go to sleep.Trust me its not worth it.
BlackJackal
Master Don Juan
Oh this is simple, you DONT. It's not worth it man. Sex is cool but a real relationship with her and her kids will take away more than you expect to earn. Even if she is a good person, she messed up and is now at a disadvantage. Trust when I say she will eventually want you to step up to the plate if you wish to continue seeing her. It's called bait and switch.Jayness said:
Move along son and find a non single mother.
CarlitosWay
Master Don Juan
I actually lost my virginity to a baby mama LOL....my advice don't do it. unless you're prepared to help raise that kid You might end up getting calls at odd hours with baby mma crying saying "Why don't you want to be with me! Is it cause of my kid!? I ****in' love my baby, What did i do tell me!" WHY?>!!?!" waaa waaaa 
drewsg
Don Juan
thiskatatonia said:
The only thing i could add here is you also really, really run the risk of baby daddy reigniting the flame with your chick and then you get the "we have to talk" chat since most single moms are wishing baby daddy never left
i've seen it a hundred times and personally got LJBF'd by this girl who's jealous ass baby daddy walkd back into the picture when he noticed i was hanging out with his ex
i've seen it a hundred times and personally got LJBF'd by this girl who's jealous ass baby daddy walkd back into the picture when he noticed i was hanging out with his ex
